Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch.  In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over.  To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

It is not uncommon in our early recovery to feel anxious that a next relapse is just around the corner.  Is there a way to grow in our confidence as we start out on this journey?

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

One of the reasons we are unsuccessful long term in porn recovery is because of some of the ways of thinking we practice.  One problematic thing that guys tell themselves is that "they are good" or 'they are strong" which is experientially true at the time. The probem is that we are good (until we are not!)


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

What is the difference between real sex and our porn binges?  The differences might explain why some people confess that real sex is hard and less exciting than our porn world.  In this episode Vern explores that uncomfortable question and how we can grow towards real intimacy with a real person.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn.  In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called  "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

Country songs are known for their - "if only I knew then what I know now" regret songs.

In this episode we ask a sobering question - is the door to your marriage closing and share a principle that Vern has practiced and taught for 40 years.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

Have you ever wondered what set you up for your struggle with porn?  In this interview Vern talks with Tim Fletcher who is an extremely popular Youtube expert on the subject all things trauma and attachement.

In addition to Tim Fletchers Youtube Channel you can find some of his helpful information on his website  https://www.timfletcher.ca/

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

When porn use is disclosed (or found out)  in a relationships it often comes with a thudding crash.  In this episode expert Barbara Steffens talks through the impact this can have on a woman and steps that both men and women can take in their navigating a path forward.

What can we learn from a relapse?  In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners.  The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. 

If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at [email protected]

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

What can we learn from a relapse?  In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners.  The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.

This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)


https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

In this episode Vern goes back to the topic of dealing with a wave of temptation and craving.  In this episode he argues that we need to strengthen our understanding of connection and also introduces a couple of "Go To's" that he uses when he is in the middle of experience a Wave.

The first reading is based on the Bible App (Psalm 119 - the Message)

The second reading can be found here:

A Liturgy for One Battling a Destructive Desire (read by Doug McKelvey)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ_o_sMBuCo

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.

This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)


https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you’re saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You’ll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we’ll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you’ll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you’ve been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you’re in the right place. It’s time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.