It's here! The finale of the 2025 Septemburger tournament pits Wendy's against Dairy Queen and Carl's Jr. against A&W. Who will make it to the finals, and more importantly: who will take home the ability to proclaim themselves the best burger chain of the 2025 Septemburger field?

I'm joined once again by filmmaker Tyler Eaton to cover Dairy Queen, comedian and author Ali Gordon to chat Wendy's, one of my best friends Herbert Amaya to review A&W, and composer James McEnelly to eat Carl's Jr. They also humor me and once again embody the chains they're helping me review to trash talk one another.

2nd Round: Wendy's (#1 seed) Baconator vs. Dairy Queen (#5 seed) Loaded A1 Stackburger Carl's Jr. (#3 seed) Western Bacon Burger vs. A&W (#7 seed) BBQ Bacon Crunch Burger

Finals: ??? vs. ???

🍟🤖🍔 Wendy's: Savage Roasts, French Fry Glow-Up, and Are the Nuggets Perfect? 🍔🤖🍟

This week, Ali Gordon joins me to put Wendy's through the Chili's Test. Between Frostys, spicy nuggets, and a fireplace straight out of HGTV, things get interesting. We try three Wendy's burgers for Septemburger, but will they all get a chance in the tournament or will Jack in the Box knock them out? Also, a one-time brand new segment called Rate That Roast! where Ali judges Wendy's savage social media burns.

📣 Rate That Roast! Ali Judges Wendy's Online Burns 🍫 Frosty Bliss & Spicy Nuggets That Actually Deliver 🥓 Burgers Galore: Dave's Single, Baconator, Double Stack 🧑‍🎤 Ali Becomes Wendy Herself (and Swears a Lot) 🌶️ Ghost Pepper Ranch That Isn't Ghost, Pepper, or Ranch 🍟 French Fries Glow-Up = Legit Improvement 🔥 Fancy Fireplace (Hogged by a Couple the Whole Time) 🌱 Serengeti Grass in the Banister?? 🧂 Condiments Locked Away Behind the Counter 📖 Ali's Debut Novel We Have Reached the End of Our Show Drops Sept 30 🏨 Ali Shares the Worst Bed & Breakfast Story Ever ⚔️ Septemburger: Dave's Single vs. Sourdough Jack

We're in the final 24 hours to fill out your Septemburger bracket! You can update it to include the winners below, and continue to do so until 11:59 PM PST on September 24th!

💬 COMMENT BELOW: Do you think Wendy's roasts are actually funny or just trying too hard?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: Ali Gordon | IG: @msalicenutting 📖 Pre-Order We Have Reached the End of Our Show | Skylight Books Amazon Barnes & Noble

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: Exclusively on Patreon (but for free!), the Septemburger Semi-Finals & Finals episode drops September 30th. That same episode will be released on the main podcast feed October 8th. I'm off October 1st!

🌮🤡 Jack in the Box: See-Through Tacos, Clown Mascot, and Legendary Curly Fries 🤡🌮

This week, we went to Jack in the Box to try some burgers, and got so much more than we bargained for. I'm joined by Honey Butter Popcorn from the Ragmop & Goose Puppet Adoption Agency and we went deep on the Jack in the Box menu. From a wild history including a name change and blowing up their old mascot, to Yelp reviews that find one specific employee very funny, you're not going to want to miss this one!

🥤 We Describe the Taste of the Worst Drink I've Ever Had ⏱️ "Cheap and Quick" Is the Appeal - Notice "Tasty" Isn't Necessary 🍉 The Sour Patch Kids Watermelon Lemonade Is Surprisingly Incredible 🥠 The Egg Roll Isn't Fit for Humans 🐶 Jack in the Box (Fittingly) Used to Be Owned by a Dog Food Company 🧀 Changing Their Name to Monterey Jack?? 🍔 Priming the Sourdough Jack, Buttery Bacon Smashed Jack, and the Jumbo Jack for Septemburger 🥖 Churros More Delicious Than Ones from Schmisneyland 🪆 How Do Puppets Eat? 🚂 Discovering the Worst Restaurant of All-Time in the Calibration Station

You can still fill out your Septemburger bracket! You can update it to include the winners below, and continue to do so until 11:59 PM PST on September 24th!

💬 COMMENT BELOW: Do you actually like Jack in the Box, or is it more the "open late" and "good value" of it all?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Follow Ragmop & Goose: @ragmopandgoose

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We're going to Wendy's, the top seed in the tournament, with my guest Ali Gordon!

🍒 Sonic Drive-In: Full History and Honest Review 🛻

This week, SONIC Drive-In gets the full treatment: history and review, all in one. From the retrofuturistic drive-in vibes and "Two Guys" commercials to a dashboard covered in onion rings, we dive deep into everything SONIC does right, wrong, and in-between. Special guest Marc Pope (Geek Off the Street podcast) joins me for cherry limeades, corndogs, and a Septemburger showdown to see if SONIC can topple Dairy Queen.

🍟 Tater Tots & Onion Rings: Fried Side-by-Side Taste Test 🌭 Corn Dog has a Weird Wiener 🍒 Cherry Limeade & Ocean Water = Still the MVPs 🍦 Oreo & Reese's Sonic Blasts Bring the Sugar Rush 🍔 Burgers on Trial: Double Sonic Smasher, Garlic Butter Bacon Burger, Bacon Sonic Stack 🗣️ Intercom Girl Steps on My Words 📋 Passenger Seat Menu Visibility = Zero Stars 🚗 No Food Trough?? DO BETTER, SONIC!! ⛸️ No Roller Skates = The Ultimate SONIC Fail ⚔️ Septemburger Matchup: Double SONIC Smasher vs. DQ Bacon Deluxe

You can still fill out your Septemburger bracket! Update it after hearing who won between SONIC and Dairy Queen!

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your Sonic go-to order?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Follow Marc Pope's podcast: @TheGOTSPod

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We cover Jack in the Box, the #8 seed in the Septemburger tournament, with special guest Honey the puppet from Ragmop & Goose!

🍔 Septemburger 2025: The Burger Tournament Begins! 🏆

GET HYPED!! It's that time of year again: Septemburger! The annual hamburger tournament is back, and eight chains are entering this greasy gauntlet. In this episode, I reveal all the contenders, break down how the tournament works, and review the first five burgers of round one. From a slew of mediocre burgers to Santa Claus cutting promos for Arctic Circle, this year is already unhinged in the best way.

🥊 Cook Out (featuring my Dad) vs. A&W (with Herbert Amaya) 🎅 Santa Claus Represents Arctic Circle vs. Carl's Jr. (with podcast composer James McEnelly) 👑 Dairy Queen Wants to Melt the Competition (with Tyler Eaton) 🍔 The Tournament Sees its First Upset 📣 Wrestling-Style Promos from Each Guest

📋 TOURNAMENT RULES:

• 8 chains enter, each providing 3 burgers.

• Round 1: each chain's "#1-on-the-menu burger." Later rounds = specialty burgers.

• Seeding is based on the best burger I've ever had at each chain.

• Fill out your bracket here.

• YOU MAY ADJUST your picks until end of day 9/24 as you follow along.

• Anyone who correctly predicts the champion is entered into a drawing for the grand prize!

🎁 GRAND PRIZE: The winner can name any American chain restaurant I haven't covered yet, and I'll review it in Season 4. PLUS, I'll write and record a rap song about the winner or any food/restaurant topic of their choice.

🔥 SEMIS & FINALS: Coming 9/30 on Patreon for FREE (no subscription needed), or on the regular podcast feed in October.

💬 COMMENT BELOW: Who's your pick to win Septemburger 2025?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We cover Sonic Drive-In with special guest Marc Pope from the Geek Off the Street podcast!

🚒 Firehouse Subs: Premature Halloween & Sticky Bottles 🎃

This week, Jon Glover (from On Brand with Jon & Marisa) joins me again as we finally taste Firehouse Subs for ourselves. From cops hooking up in the bathroom* to pickle buckets better left unopened, this visit had more than its share of noteworthy moments. The subs didn't impress us, but the theming did...and somehow Jon confesses to living like a hoarder.

🥪 Jon Gets Defensive Over His Many Sandwich Mods 🎃 A 12-Foot Skeleton Box Blocks the Bathroom 🥒 Taking a Sniff of the Pickle Bucket (Instant Regret) 🍪 The Cookie Becomes the Star of the Meal 🥤 Jon Declares His Love for the Freestyle Soda Machine 🔥 Firehouse Theming Feels Like a Hollywood Backlot 🧂 A Hot Sauce Bar Full of Sticky Bottles

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the strangest thing you've ever seen in a restaurant bathroom?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jon's podcast: On Brand with Jon & Marisa (@onbrandthepod)

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: Septemburger 2025 kicks off! The annual burger tournament returns, and the first matchup is in full swing.

*This is speculation.

🚒 Firehouse Subs 🥒

This week, we head into Firehouse Subs to see what the fuss is about. Emmy Award-winning guest and cohost of On Brand with Jon & Marisa Jon Glover joins me to talk steaming meats, charity pickle buckets, Titanic lore, and why being put on hold too long might just drive you insane. Along the way, Jon invents his dream restaurant "Capades" (an ice-themed wonderland), brushes shoulders with James Cameron (not to brag), and gets hot and bothered for firemen.

🚫 Steamed Meats That Don't Quite Work 🥒 Pickle Buckets & Firehouse's Community Spirit 🎬 Jon Worked with "Jim" Cameron on Avatar 2 & 3 🚢 Way Too Much Titanic Talk 🏰 "Capades": Jon's Dream Restaurant of Ice (and It's Free) 🍔 Firehouse Subs Joins RBI (Burger King's Parent Company) 📞 Put on Hold So Long, They Drove to the Store Instead 🎤 Jon Freezes When Asked to Sing 🙄 Jon Constantly Tells Michael to "Go On"

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the strangest on-hold experience you've ever had with a business?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jon's podcast: On Brand with Jon & Marisa (@onbrandthepod)

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We finally taste the food at Firehouse Subs to see how it stacks up.

🍕 Deep Dish in LA? Reviewing Gino's East of Chicago 🏀

This week, Jacquis Neal (Host of Dropout's upcoming show Crowd Control) returns as we give our full review of Gino's East of Chicago in...not Chicago, but Sherman Oaks, California. From the deep dish pizza to the dessert (and the GIARDINIERA RANCH), we talk hits, misses, and whether this spot truly feels like home for two Chicagoans far from the Windy City.

We also visit the Calibration Station to hear about Jacquis's worst and best dining experiences, which include a Bob Evans dine-and-dash debacle and an unforgettable Disney breakfast.

🍕 Jacquis Rips Up My Chicago Card 🌭 Great Pizza, Mid Italian Beef 🥔 Kettle Chips & Giardiniera Ranch: Revelation of the Meal 🍫 Deep Dish Brownie Dessert Changed My Life 🏙️ Chicago Brick, Cubs Bobbleheads, But No Graffiti 🎢 Chef Mickey's vs. Bob Evans (Calibration Station) 🪑 A Restaurant That Feels Like Home (Even 2,000 Miles Away)

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the best pizza you've had outside your hometown?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jacquis on IG: @jacquisneal | Website: jacquisneal.com

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We dive into the fiery history of Firehouse Subs: heroic branding, steamed sandwiches, and maybe a little stolen valor?

🍕 Gino's East of Chicago: Graffiti, Deep Dish, & Biscuit Crust 🧱

This week, we take a bite out of the legacy of Gino's East of Chicago — a deep dish pizza joint started by cabbies and made famous by its buttery biscuit crust and graffiti-covered walls. With a flavor profile heavy on cornmeal and sausage (sometimes too much sausage), it's one of Chicago's big four pizza spots — but is it the GOAT?

Joining me is actor and comedian Jacquis Neal (Dropout, Last Week Tonight) as we dig into this crusty cornerstone of Chicago culture, debate sausage autonomy, and marvel at how many cab drivers it used to take to buy property.

Plus, Jacquis pitches his dream soul food/Chicago fusion restaurant, and we read some absolutely wild Yelp reviews — one featuring a "phat boi" pizza and another featuring a man's descent into customer service madness.

🏙️ Born from Taxi Drivers with a Building They Didn't Know What to Do With 🧀 Biscuit Techniques & the Quest for Sausage Autonomy 🎨 A Deep Discussion on the Urge to Graffiti Bathrooms 📍 From Mag Mile to LA to Singapore 📦 Frozen Pizzas, Flopped Franchises, & a Surprise Comeback 🍕 Deep Dish vs. Tavern Style vs. NY Slice: The Ultimate Pizza Debate 🎶 A Soul Food Spot with Yacht Rock Vibes (Jacquis's Dream Restaurant) 🌟 Yelp Reviews That Involve Slithering Pizza & An Argument with the "Manager "

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your go-to Chicago pizza joint — and how much cheese is too much?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jacquis on IG: @jacquisneal | Website: jacquisneal.com

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We dig into our actual meal at Gino's East. Did Michael's cheese phobia survive? Or did deep dish change his life forever?

🍽️ This Place Sure Had a Lot of Food Items Score a 1-out-of-10 🫠

This week, we return to Golden Corral - this time, to eat. Joined by comedian and podcast host Ben Cassil (@bencassil), I finally test the buffet itself, from rock-hard bread to surprisingly okay tacos. We found joy in the strawberry shortcake Fanta ICEE and the sheer chaos of none of the food being accurately labeled.

Also, someone talked to their mom on speakerphone…from the toilet. This one had layers.

🍖 Ribs That Made Us Regret Everything 🍗 Chicken Fried Chicken That (Kinda) Slapped 🍞 Bread So Hard You Could Knock on It 🧙‍♂️ An All-Senior Magic Show (Is *THIS* Your AARP Card??) 🕹️ Claw Machines Everywhere 🧊 Strawberry Shortcake Fanta ICEE = Low-Key Amazing 🚽 Maybe DON'T Make Calls from the Toilet? 📍 Yes, This Was All Inside a Former Circuit City (But Who Is the Dreamer?) 📊 Golden Corral's Final Score: Better Than Chili's?

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the wildest thing you've ever seen at a buffet?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Ben on IG: @bencassil | Podcast: Live from the Big Apple

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We dig into the Midwestern legacy of Gino's East of Chicago and how Chicagoans aren't just sitting around eating deep dish all the time.