Fixers, Inc.

As our last episode of 2021, we get DEEP into the holiday spirit. How deep? About nose deep. We learn some dark secrets about Santa and maybe scrounge up enough instruments to win this year’s Battle of the Bands. Happy Holidays, everyone, and a special shout out to our good friend Ryan for the new outro music! 

Episode ingredients: Ben the Red-Nosed Fixer, Elvish Encroachment, The Jug Store, Sign This With Your Eyes, William Nilliam, The Battle of the One Band

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Vacation’s over, Fixers! Now the real work begins. We’re gonna need an extra pair of hands to tackle our to-do pile. Special guest Ryan returns to help us figure out how to stuff a chair into a jacket, as well as unlocking the secrets of the Prim Emporium.

 

Episode ingredients: Chalister McAllister, Don’t Play In The Sandpit, The Centaur of Attention, The Final Squam, The Magic School Bus Happy Hour, and Brought To You By

 

Send your problems/questions to [email protected] and you can bet we’ll fix the Montgomery sh*t out of them!

We've got another previously unreleased track for your listening pleasure this week. Happy Thanksgiving, if you're into that sort of thing. If not, Happy Weekend! We'll be back soon with more of our usual buffoonery.

In the thrilling conclusion of our soirée into the depths of hell, we, uh…. we spend a lot of time on an elevator. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? Well, it is when it drops you off on a level full of screaming Ray Romanos. Or, even worse, a level covered in glitter!

 

Episode ingredients: Forza Lord, Stinkless Steel, Bag of Holding Chris, A Long List of Movies Ben Hasn’t Seen, The Haunting of Ray Romano, Brought To You By, and A Deal With The Devil

 

Special thanks for Subatomicparticular for your glowing review on Apple Podcasts! Every rating and review helps!

 

Send your problems/questions to [email protected]

We had some spoOooOoOoky audio issues during recording, so Chris (and Dracula, weirdly) sound just a little bit peaky. I guess that’s hell for ya. Because we wind up in hell. We promise it’s for a good cause…. Getting paid.

 

Episode ingredients: Skumps though?, Smoke Diego Smoke, McAllister Goes To Hell, The Fixers Go To Hell, I Fall Gross, The Hellevator, The Sound Of Science, Turtle Bugs, and Helpisoda

 

Send us your questions/problems! [email protected]

Come with me and you'll be

In a world of serpentine belt creation

Take a look and you'll see

that what's chocolate is the factory

We'll begin with a spin

Traveling in a new floor of our building

What we'll see will probably be kinda lame

This week, the Fixers get to tour a factory that's definitely, absolutely been in our building the whole time, no question about it at all. Why would you even doubt it? Because it's never come up in our 90 episodes? Don't be silly! 

Episode ingredients: The Fixers Tour The Chocolate Factory, Dave Got Dusted, That Mirror Lied To Me, The Hit List - F**k Facebook Victory Lap, Gurney Journey, and The King’s Feet

 

Email your problems to [email protected]!

It’s two against one for the majority of this episode. Ben butts heads against Chris and Dave on multiple topics: the intelligence of golden retrievers, the grossness of vaping on the toilet, how cool certain snack foods are, what a gel is, and what constitutes a sequel. Not to worry, though! We’re problem-solvers, after all, and we’ve devised a whole new way to blow smoke up your arse. 

 

Brooch Wine and Oyster Man, Testing For Coolness, Get Off My Elevator - Ground Bud, Single Jeopardy, Brought To You By, Vape Bidet, and All Nyes On You

 

Send us your questions/problems! [email protected]

We’re not saying that birds aren’t real. That’s crazy and (nearly) everyone knows better. But have we checked up on baby pigeons lately? I’m just saying, are we SURE they exist? Adult pigeons, sure. All types of real pigeons out there. But the babies though…

 

Ingredients: Doin’ A Weird Late-y, Contractually Obligated Banter Time, No Pets For Ivory (maybe a shaved dead horse), The Sound of Science, No Such Thing As Baby Pigeons, Several Failures, and R*sted R**t

Well, hey there! Since Dave was unable to record this week, this is sort of episode zero of another podcast Chris and Ben have been talking about doing for a little while now. Our basic premise is reviewing and comparing things that have no business being pitted against one another. In this episode - hotel room coffee vs. the US quarter! Hope you enjoy, and we'll hopefully get back to fixering next week.

Oh, hello there! We couldn't get into the office this week, so here's a sweaty summer jam for your listening pleasure. If you make it all the way to the end of the song, there's this weird chorus of voices that sound like they're straight outta Animal Crossing.

 

New episode coming soon!

 

Send us your problems, and we'll fix them! Email us at [email protected]