Fixers, Inc.

The boys go car shopping. An old friend returns. One of us (I won’t say who) conflates nineteenth-century treasure hunters with twenty first-century social scientists. And when I said “friend” earlier, I meant a van. Vans can be friends, right? ‘Course they can.

 

Episode ingredients: Count Salesula’s Car Castle, 2004 Nokia Parkour Tablet, introducing Next Week Tonight, Jerry Hot Dog, Archaeol-argument, and Meat Stripe Gum

So here's the thing... an old "friend" showed up and kinda stole the majority of an episode from one of our computers. Rather than force you to listen to 2/3 of a conversation, we decide to force you to listen to us scraping the bottom of our inbox.....barrel?

 

Episode ingredients: The British Kiss, Pre-coli, Space Wars IRL, Very Polite to Bugs, We Are Evil Genies, Fully Custom Dead Uncle Guitar, What a Strange Entwizzlement, Does the Middle Work?, Render the Burn, Rare Eyelid Ability, Wild Magic Stupid, and Renaissance Meth

There are some decidedly unscrupulous characters roaming about the office this week. Not Chris, though. Get a load of those scruples!

 

Episode ingredients: Big Pair of Brass Scruples, Gaming Cafe Do’s and Don’ts, The Hit List - Podcasts and Pre-orders, Ball Pit of Guilt, The Hands of an Idiot, Shame On You and Thank You, and #6thStarForFixers

You there! Unless I’m very much mistaken, you seem like the sort of individual that enjoys listening to people get pissed off at fake scientists for reading poorly written internet quizzes. Well what say you? Is that sort of thing you bag, baby?

 

Episode ingredients: Wendellshire’s Paradox, How Come Does The Candle End?, The Sound of Science aka Chris Gets Mad at a Bad Internet Quiz, Introducing “WORDS”, and Now You’re Scheming With Ants

It began innocently enough (by our standards), but by the end, the Fixers were discussing selling bags of dust as action figures.

 

Episode ingredients: The Least Sexy Music, Sweet Potato Shot Put, Schrödinger’s Wal-Mart, The Vancouver Fishcocks, Dylan and the Police Stuck on a Roof, Brought To You By, and Grampire Merch

The regular-type Fixers weren't able to put in any time at the office this week, so Ben thawed out one of the interns from cryogenic freeze and together they solved the great mystery of where meat goes when something dies.

Also featuring "Up Against Everything" by Dinosaurigami

Honestly folks, we have so many good ideas in this episode that it’s kinda ridiculous. Like, we almost didn’t publish it because we don’t want anyone stealing our several brilliant ideas. Y’know what, just assume all this is trademarked, alright? Because it absolutely is!

 

Episode ingredients: Rata2uille, The Hit List - Dust Jackets, Rapid-fire Spring Cleaning, Get Off My Elevator - RealGun and Pocket Government mobile apps, and Elevating Escalators

We've got a bonus episode for you, just in time to be too late for the holidays!! I wish I could show you how much silence I have to edit out to make us sound clever. So much!

Hey listen, you might wanna have a box of Grape-Nuts on hand for this one. You know… to quell any urges. Because it gets pretty wet and wild, as only Gumby discussions tend to do.

 

Episode ingredients: Tony Sbarro (aka Tony Buttheat), The Gumbying Hour, Why Are My Lightbulbs Wet?, Radio Porn Star, The Max Headroom Incident Jam Band, Surgeons Generals Through The Ages, and a Little Don Knotts

You know that feeling when you're trying to record a podcast and manage a bloody battle just outside your tent at the same time? Ugh, what a nuisance, right? I mean, we've all been there. Such a relatable scenario!

 

Episode ingredients: Sergeant Will’s Weird Dream, Chris Got A Ham Radio - Antiques Roadshow, Delaware Dibs, Brought To You By British Beatboxing, A Cure For Ads, and Toy Story Stories