Forgive Yourself

Download your free companion resource to this episode here: Forgiving Your Mother Worksheet

"Our mothers are often our first mirror. The way they spoke to us, touched us, showed up or did not show up leaves lasting imprints."

Today, I explore the tender territory of mother-daughter relationships just in time for Mother's Day. Rather than focusing on cards and flowers, I invite you into a deeper conversation about what it truly means to forgive your mother as an adult.

As someone who's navigated my own complicated maternal relationship, I understand that Mother's Day can evoke a spectrum of emotions – from gratitude to grief, from love to resentment. Our mothers are often our first mirrors, and the ways they spoke to us, showed up (or didn't) created lasting imprints that shape our self-perception.

For many women, these early experiences translate into patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the persistent fear of being "too much" or "not enough." Throughout the episode, I share my personal journey of having been a parentified daughter who lacked guidance, safety, and encouragement – offering validation for listeners struggling with similar wounds.

I guide you through five transformative steps toward forgiveness: acknowledging the impact, humanizing your mother's story without excusing the hurt, feeling your emotions safely, setting appropriate boundaries, and reclaiming your own narrative. Each step is illustrated with personal examples and practical guidance.

This episode includes a guided moment to connect with your inner child and healing journal prompts to continue your journey. Remember, forgiving your mother isn't about dismissing your pain or forcing reconciliation – it's about choosing peace for yourself, at your own pace, in whatever way honors your emotional safety and well-being.

Click here to download the Forgiving Your Mother Worksheet, a guided tool to help you explore your feelings, reflect on your experiences, and take meaningful steps toward emotional freedom.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"When your self worth depends upon the approval of others, you give away your power."

In today's episode, I dive deep into a struggle I know intimately well – the exhausting cycle of seeking external validation and approval from others. As someone who spent years over-performing, people-pleasing, and silencing my own needs just to earn a nod of approval, I understand the toll this takes on our emotional well-being and sense of self.

I explore how our self-worth often becomes tangled in others' opinions, especially in today's world of social media validation, turning us into emotional yo-yos – high when approved of, low when criticized or ignored. The truth is, when our worth depends on someone else's opinion, we give away our power and lose touch with our authentic selves.

Throughout the episode, I share personal stories of how this approval-seeking showed up in my relationships and work, leaving me constantly striving yet never feeling enough. I outline clear signs to help you identify if you're caught in this validation trap – including anxiety without feedback, constant comparison, fear of expressing real thoughts, and achievements that feel empty.

Most importantly, I offer a practical, four-step approach to breaking free: identifying limiting core beliefs, practicing self-compassion, reclaiming your inner voice, and building self-trust. These steps are complemented by actionable tools including powerful affirmations, journaling prompts, mindfulness practices, and transformative questions to reconnect with your authentic self.

This episode is your invitation to stop chasing approval and start embracing the beautiful truth that you are inherently worthy – not because of what you achieve or who approves, but simply because you exist.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"You don't need permission to be powerful. You don't need to apologize for showing up as you are. Your voice matters. And it's time the world hears your voice clearly and confidently."

In this empowering episode, I introduce the No Sorry Challenge – a simple yet transformative 24-hour commitment to stop saying "sorry" unless it's truly warranted. As someone who's navigated my own journey from constant apologizing to confident communication, I understand how this small word can undermine our presence and power.

We've all caught ourselves saying "sorry to bother you" or "sorry, can I just ask something?" – phrases that subtly communicate we don't deserve to take up space. I explore why we develop this habit (especially women), how it shapes others' perceptions of us, and most importantly, how to break free from it.

This episode isn't just about information – it's an invitation to action. I provide practical alternatives to replace those reflexive apologies: transforming "sorry to bother you" into "do you have a moment?", and "sorry for taking your time" into "thank you for your time."

Beyond the words themselves, I delve into the mindset shift required to truly stand in your power. This challenge isn't about being rude or dismissive – it's about recognizing your inherent worth and communicating with clarity and confidence.

Whether you're recovering from people-pleasing tendencies or simply want to strengthen your communication skills, this challenge offers a concrete way to practice self-worth in everyday interactions. Remember, you don't need permission to be powerful – your voice matters, and it's time the world hears it clearly and confidently.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

“If you feel like you're at rock bottom and you've hit a wall and you have nowhere else to go, it's actually an exciting place to be." - Coach Sara

Today, I welcome kindred spirit Sara Olson—artist, author, and empowerment coach—who shares her transformative journey from pain to purpose through the healing powers of forgiveness and creative expression.

Our conversation flows naturally into deep waters as Sara reveals how facing herself in the mirror—literally and figuratively—became the foundation for both her personal healing and her approach to helping others. Her story of setting a timer for five minutes to look in the mirror and say "I love you" (while naked, no less!) demonstrates the raw vulnerability required for genuine transformation.

What makes this episode special is Sara's unique approach to healing through intuitive art. She shares the powerful story of how painting six deeply emotional pieces helped her process grief and heartbreak, eventually leading to her innovative coaching approach that combines creative expression with emotional healing.

Throughout our conversation, we explore themes close to my heart: the courage to face yourself despite your flaws, learning to find beauty in painful experiences, and discovering freedom through self-compassion. Sara's insights for single parents and those hitting rock bottom come from authentic lived experience, making her guidance both practical and deeply empathetic.

Whether you're struggling to forgive yourself, facing life transitions, or simply yearning to reconnect with your creative spirit, this conversation offers gentle wisdom and practical tools to help you rise from your own ashes and discover the beauty waiting on the other side of pain.

Coach Sara’s Website and Links: 

• Website
• YouTube
• LinkedIn
• FREE: Rising from the Ruin Toolkit

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"There's a big difference between saying sorry for hurting someone and saying sorry for just existing."

In this heartfelt episode, I explore the deeply ingrained habit of over-apologizing – something many of us do without even realizing it. Drawing from both personal experience and historical context, I unpack why women in particular tend to say "I'm sorry" when we've done nothing wrong.

Have you ever apologized for asking a question, for taking up space, or even when someone else bumped into you? This pattern isn't just a personality quirk – it's rooted in generations of societal conditioning that taught women to be agreeable, accommodating, and passive.

I trace this conditioning from Victorian expectations of women as "moral guardians" to post-World War II pressure to return to submissive roles, to modern media portrayals that still subtly reinforce these patterns. This historical perspective helps us understand why assertive women are often labeled "aggressive" while men displaying identical behavior are seen as "confident."

"We teach people how to treat us. When we over-apologize, we teach others that our very presence requires forgiveness."

Throughout the episode, I connect over-apologizing to deeper issues of low self-esteem, fear of conflict, and people-pleasing tendencies. Most importantly, I offer practical steps to break this habit: building awareness by tracking your apologies, replacing "sorry" with empowering alternatives, practicing assertiveness, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

The goal isn't to never apologize – it's to save our apologies for when they're truly warranted. By making this simple yet profound shift in our communication, we can transform not just how others perceive us, but how we see ourselves. Remember: you deserve to take up space without apology.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

In today's episode, I'm sharing e the importance of starting the new year with a clean slate and how to transform perceived mistakes into valuable lessons that propel us forward. We'll dive into a powerful process for identifying and working through regrets, offering you practical and spiritual insights to release what holds you back. Grab a pen and paper as we walk through steps to shift your perspective on regret, rewrite your story, and embrace growth with compassion. Whether you're striving for peace in personal relationships or professional life, this episode is a step toward turning your pain into purpose. Let's get started!

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"When you love someone with all your heart and you have dreams and plans and you share these little secrets, right? You have these little code words and they're your person, they're the ones that you call when you see something funny or you have these little symbols, you have these inside jokes, you have these plans and these dreams that are gone, taken out right from underneath you. The rug pulled out. You had no say in it.”

Today, I share my profound reflections on the past year since my husband, Doug, moved into memory care. As I recount the heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching, and transformative experiences of navigating dementia, I hope to offer solace and understanding to those in similar situations. 

Join me as I delve into the emotional turmoil, the difficult decisions, and the invaluable lessons I've learned along the way. We'll also discuss the importance of asking for help, finding compassionate support, and ultimately, turning pain into peace.

This episode is a heartfelt message to anyone struggling with a loved one's dementia, affirming that you are not alone and you matter. Get ready to embark on a powerful journey of empathy, rage, love, and hope.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"By forgiving ourselves and others, we create room for personal development and expansion. It does require deep introspection, it does require empathy, and it does require courage to confront our own shortcomings."

In this episode, we're diving deep into a truly transformative journey—one that takes us through the stages of healing and forgiveness, and how they can radically change our lives for the better.

We'll begin by exploring the significance of having our stories heard and validated, a crucial step in the healing process. I'll guide you through the various stages of forgiveness, from moving beyond victimhood to fully integrating forgiveness into our daily lives. Along the way, I'll share personal anecdotes and insights, including a touching story about my own father and the impact of unmet expectations.

We'll also tackle the tricky terrain of expectations and resentments, learning how ineffective communication often leads to misunderstandings and emotional pain. I'll offer practical tips on how to communicate more clearly and set healthy boundaries, helping you to break free from the boulders of resentment that may be holding you back.

And that's not all. We'll delve into the science-backed benefits of forgiveness, highlighting how it can improve everything from heart health to self-esteem. I'll also introduce you to the concept of radical forgiveness, a process that has brought about significant transformations for many of my clients.

Join me as we navigate this empowering journey together. Let's turn our pain into peace and build more harmonious, joyful lives!

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"All it takes is one person stepping forward in a generation to do the work that it takes to heal a pattern."

Today, I dive deep into the transformative journey of healing family wounds through generational forgiveness. Drawing from my personal experiences and family story, I explore how unresolved conflicts and buried secrets can create emotional distance that spans generations.

Like the saying "We don't talk about Bruno" from Encanto, many families carry hidden wounds that shape their relationships without even realizing it. I share how my own family's journey with generational patterns, including sexual abuse, was transformed through the courage to acknowledge, understand, and heal these deep-seated wounds.

"Generational forgiveness isn't something that happens overnight, but it's about breaking the cycle so future generations can grow in a more loving, understanding environment."

I explore why generational forgiveness differs from individual forgiveness, requiring us to look at patterns that may have started long before we were born. I explore why generational forgiveness differs from individual forgiveness, requiring us to look at patterns that may have started long before we were born. Through personal stories and practical guidance, I outline the steps to begin this healing journey: acknowledging deeper patterns, cultivating empathy for past generations, opening honest communication, choosing forgiveness, and considering reconciliation when safe and appropriate.

Most importantly, I emphasize that it takes just one person in a generation to step forward and do the healing work needed to transform family patterns. As I've witnessed in my own family, this brave choice can create ripples of healing that extend to future generations, breaking cycles that have persisted for decades.

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

"Forgiveness is so important...because I was willing to forgive and not let it hold me hostage, because then I sit home brewing while they're off having a great life." - Laurie Hardie

In this powerful episode, I welcome Laurie Hardie, a Seattle radio personality and recovery coach with 35 years of broadcasting experience. We dive deep into how trauma and isolation, especially during COVID, affect our ability to feel seen and heard. 

Laurie shares her insights about the impact of language on connection, particularly for those with childhood trauma (ACEs). She reveals why certain communication styles can create barriers and offers practical strategies for more inclusive engagement. Drawing from her experience in radio and recovery coaching, Laurie explains how authentic storytelling and intentional communication can help heal trauma and build genuine connections. 

Whether you're a content creator, coach, or someone seeking deeper connections, this episode offers valuable insights about the power of personal narrative and inclusive communication. 

Laurie also shares her journey of understanding forgiveness as a path to freedom rather than letting others off the hook. With her unique blend of broadcasting expertise and trauma-informed coaching, she provides practical tools for both speakers and listeners to create more meaningful connections.

More info and links:

• Laurie: http://www.coachlaurie.com
• Brenda: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast/

Resources:

Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/

Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60

Brenda’s Website/Links

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn