Forgiveness Is For YOU - Overcome Trauma Through Forgiveness

Friend, 

Why is it sometimes so difficult to forgive ourselves, even after we've confessed our sins and received God's forgiveness?

In this episode, I explore the inner critic and how it can keep us trapped in shame, regret, and self-condemnation. I discuss how disruptions in attachment can shape our beliefs about our worthiness of love and belonging, and why we sometimes use self-punishment to try to prevent rejection or future mistakes.

You'll learn to distinguish between the voice of old wounds, the prompting of conscience, and accusations from the enemy. I share practical ways to recognize the need beneath your inner critic and how to practice self-compassion. 

Using examples from the Divine Mercy devotion and the story of St. Peter, I consider what it means to trust in God's forgiveness while allowing ourselves time to heal.

References: 

Catechism of the Catholic Church

https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_two/article_4.index.html

George, Carol. “Attachment, Shame, and Trauma.” Brain Sciences vol. 15,4 415. 19 Apr. 2025, doi:10.3390/brainsci15040415

Kowalska, Maria Faustina. Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul. Marian Press, 2005, entry 723.

Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow, 2011.

Support the podcast! https://go.drcarron.com/forgiveness-audio-retreat

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friend, 

We often think forgiveness means letting go of anger, sadness, resentment, or hurt.

But what if trying to get rid of those emotions is actually getting in the way of forgiveness?

In this episode, I explore the role that feeling and processing our emotions can play in forgiveness. Many of us learned early in life to suppress difficult emotions.  We can carry those habits into adulthood, sometimes without realizing that we're avoiding what we actually feel.

I share the many ways we can avoid our emotions, including distraction, staying busy, intellectualizing, minimizing, spiritualizing, and even repeatedly thinking about what happened without connecting with the emotions underneath it.

I also explore why feeling an emotion isn't the same as acting on it, and how emotions can give us important information about what we've experienced and what we may need.

Drawing from Emotion-Focused Therapy, the Psalms, and the example of Jesus weeping at Lazarus' tomb, I consider what it might look like to become more honest about our emotional lives, and to bring those emotions honestly to God.

You'll also learn a simple practice for beginning to process an emotion:

Notice → Locate → Stay → Get curious → Bring it to God

Forgiveness doesn't require us to pretend we're fine or rush past our pain. Sometimes, becoming more honest about what we're feeling is part of the way forward.

Reference(s):

Sue Johnson, Dr.  https://drsuejohnson.com/

Leaf, Caroline. Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health. Baker Books, 2013

Purchase the 5 Days to Forgiveness Audio Retreat: https://go.drcarron.com/forgiveness-audio-retreat

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends, 

What if some of the things you've taken personally were never actually about you?

In this episode of Forgiveness is for YOU, I explore an idea from forgiveness expert Dr. Fred Luskin: we often take other people's behavior personally and turn it into a story about ourselves.

Someone rejects us, betrays us, criticizes us, or treats us badly, and we begin to believe their behavior says something about our worth, our lovability, or who we are.

That's where we can move from “terrible world and resilient me” to what Luskin describes as “helpless me and terrible world.”

But what happens when we separate what someone did from what we've decided it means about us?

I use the story of Joseph in Genesis to explore this question. Joseph's brothers intended harm. The harm was real. But their actions did not get to become the final word on Joseph's identity or his life.

Forgiveness doesn't mean denying what happened, excusing someone else's behavior, reconciling with someone who isn't safe, or pretending that the pain didn't matter.

A question that may change the way you look at something you're struggling to forgive: What am I making this mean about me?

And then:

What would resilient me look like here?

Resources:

Podcast Calendar Link: https://go.drcarron.com/podcastinterview

Bandura, A. (2000). Exercise of Human Agency Through Collective Efficacy. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 9(3), 75-78. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00064 

Website: fredluskin.com

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friend, 

What if forgiveness has less to do with excusing what happened to us and more to do with how we carry what happened?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Frederic Luskin, director and cofounder of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects. For more than 30 years, Dr. Luskin has studied forgiveness and its impact on our health, relationships, emotional well-being, and spiritual lives.

In our conversation, we explore some challenging questions about forgiveness. What happens when we take what other people do personally? Is everything that happens to us actually about us? And what changes when we stop allowing someone else’s actions to have so much power over our lives?

Although I approach forgiveness from a Catholic perspective, forgiveness is not limited to people who are religious. You don’t have to share a particular faith, or have a religious belief at all, to wrestle with resentment, hurt, anger, or the need to forgive.

At the same time, Dr. Luskin and I discovered meaningful common ground around spirituality and the role it can play in forgiveness. We talk about the connection between forgiveness and the spiritual life, and why forgiveness may be more than simply a psychological exercise.

Whether you’re carrying a grudge, struggling to make sense of something that happened to you, or wondering what forgiveness could look like in your own life, this conversation offers a different way of thinking about what it means to let go.

Dr Luskin’s Links:

Website: fredluskin.com 

Books:

Forgive for Good: https://a.co/d/056u7uS6

Forgive for Love: https://a.co/d/052zPgnn

Stress Free for Good: https://a.co/d/0bfapKia

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends, 

Do you have a forgiveness list? If so, who’s on it? 

In this collaborative episode, fellow podcaster Neil Matthews, Host of the “Other People’s Shoes” Podcast, and I discuss how he came up with the idea of a “Forgiveness List” and how putting himself on the list became a challenge for him. 

Neil talks about his struggle to forgive himself. He shares his story about a time he considered ending his life, how God saved him through the presence of a dog, and how his vulnerability led to a moment of grace and forgiveness from his wife. 

Connect with Neil:

[email protected]

References:

Hate Myself Episode: https://www.opspodcast.com/hate-myself/

Why Episode: https://www.opspodcast.com/why/

Possible Episode with Dr. Carron: https://www.opspodcast.com/possible/

Struggling with forgiveness? Tell Dr. Carron - email [email protected].

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends, 

How do women find connection with other women in this world filled with hurry and distraction? The answer is Haven Circles, a place where women can connect authentically, away from social media and other distractions. 

In this episode, I sat down with Alli Koscal, author of Love and Loyalty: Heart Lessons from the Book of Ruth and Founder of Finding Havens ministry, seeking to connect women through Bible Study. 

Alli and I discuss the need for women to find connection with other women through authentic spiritual friendships and making time to step away from technology to be together in person. 

Alli’s dream is for women to step into their primary vocation in community, following the example of Ruth and Naomi in the Bible. 

Alli’s Links: 

Website: allikoscal.com

Instagram: @findinghavens7

Substack: findinghavens.substack.com

Freebie: PDF of my Litany of Havens when you subscribe to Substack (all subs are free). Also, free: Finding Havens welcome package (bookmarks, Litany of Haven cards, Ruth candle & Ruth bracelet) when you organize a Haven Circle small group to do Love and Loyalty. 

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends,

What if our fear of death has less to do with death itself and more to do with how our culture has taught us to think about it?

In this episode, I’m joined by the founder of Inhora Home in Albuquerque, New Mexico, to have a conversation about something most of us would rather avoid: the end of life.

Inhora Home is creating a different kind of space for people who are dying: a safe, welcoming home where people from all faiths and income levels can experience community, dignity, and care at the end of their lives.

We talk about what happens when we move death out of hospitals and institutions and bring it back into a home and a community.

We also explore some of the deepest struggles people face in the final hours of life. What are they afraid of? What do they need? And what might change if we stopped seeing death simply as something to fight or prevent?

Most importantly, this conversation invites us to examine our own assumptions.

Miles' Links:

Website: www.inhora.org

Facebook: www.facebook.com/inhorahome

Instagram: www.instagram.com/inhora_home

YouTube: www.youtube.com/@inhorahome

Special Invitation from Dr. Carron

If you're a Christian woman survivor of betrayal trauma looking to rebuild trust in yourself and your marriage, I have a limited number of 1:1 coaching spots available. Schedule a discovery call at https://drcarron.kartra.com/calendar/chatwithdrcarron

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends,

What if the way we’ve been taught to build a business is actually working against the way human beings are designed to flourish?

In this episode, I’m joined by Anna Saucier and Megan Gephart, founders of Apostolic Fruit, for a conversation about a different way to think about entrepreneurship that puts the whole human being at the center.

Rather than treating a business like a factory that needs to constantly produce, optimize, and scale, Anna and Megan invite women entrepreneurs to think about their businesses more like gardens. Gardens require attention, cultivation, seasons, rest, pruning, and patience. They aren’t forced to produce on demand, and neither are we.

We talk about what happens when the pressures of entrepreneurship collide with our personal wounds, self-judgment, and expectations of who we think we should be. Because sometimes what looks like a business problem is actually a personal struggle showing up in our work.

This conversation is especially meaningful for women who are building mission-driven businesses and want their work to support their lives rather than consume them.

In this episode, we explore:

This conversation is for you if you’ve ever wondered whether there’s another way to build a successful business that doesn’t require you to become a machine.

Connect with Anna, Megan, and Apostolic Fruit:

Website: apostolicfruit.com

Free Assessment: https://assessment.apostolicfruit.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annasaucier/

Instagram: apostolic_fruit

If you're a Christian woman survivor of betrayal trauma looking to rebuild trust in yourself and your marriage, I have a limited number of 1:1 coaching spots available. Schedule a discovery call at https://drcarron.kartra.com/calendar/chatwithdrcarron

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends, 

My guest in this episode, Audye Gonzalez grew up in a small town, the daughter of divorced parents, raised by a mother whose love came with conditions she spent years trying to name. Today she's the creator of the "Still Stuck" workbook, and she's spent her career helping adult daughters of narcissistic mothers recognize the five trauma patterns that keep showing up in relationships, and everyday life. 

In this conversation, Audye and I talk about what it's like to grow up as the child who adapts instead of the child who's allowed to just be. We get into the specific moment she realized her marriage was echoing her childhood, the first boundary she ever set and what it cost her, and why she still doesn't have a clean answer on forgiveness.

If you've ever wondered why certain relationships feel like you're back in an old role you thought you'd outgrown, this one's for you.

Audye's Links:

Website: https://audyegonzalez.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/coach.audye.gonzalez

Workbook: https://audyegonzalez.com/pages/still-stuck/ 

Special Invitation from Dr. Carron

If you're a Christian woman survivor of betrayal trauma looking to rebuild trust in yourself and your marriage, I have a limited number of 1:1 coaching spots available. Schedule a discovery call at https://drcarron.kartra.com/calendar/chatwithdrcarron

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.

Friends, 

In this episode, founder of You Are Made New Ministry,  De Yarrison,  a uniquely Catholic healing ministry for men and women survivors of domestic abuse, betrayal trauma, and addiction shares how she first heard her calling in an unexpected place: surrounded by more than a thousand teenagers in stillness before God at a youth conference. That moment set her on a path to develop a ministry that combines inner healing prayer with Gestalt therapeutic techniques to help survivors heal and rebuild.

We talk about:

De Yarrison's Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: youaremadenew.com

Instagram: @youaremadenew

Hope's Garden Community: hopesgarden.mn.co

Coaching Invitation from Dr. Carron

If you're a Christian woman survivor of betrayal trauma looking to rebuild trust in yourself and your marriage, I have a limited number of 1:1 coaching spots available.

Connect with Dr. Carron

Love the Podcast?

If Forgiveness Is for YOU resonates with you, please:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/forgiveness-is-for-you-overcome-trauma-through-forgiveness/id1721956839

How to Leave an Apple Review

Credits

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host. Guests are welcomed in a spirit of respectful dialogue and freedom of expression.

A Final Word

Thank you for listening, Friend.