Fostering Voices Podcast

Show Summary:

A wonderful and deep conversation with Rita Soronen, President & CEO of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

Chapters:

0:00 - Welcome, Rita!!

1:24 - Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption(Yes, *that* Dave Thomas!)

3:34 - Raising Awareness for Foster Care and Adoption

5:53 - Wendy's Wonderful Kids

13:44 - The Birthright of Every Child Is To Have a Home - Beginner's Guide to Adoption

17:48 - How Can You Get Involved or Support These Kids?

22:15 - "These Children Are Not Someone Else's Responsibility, They Are Our Responsibility"

23:01 - Good Word of The Day!!

25:13 - Something Simple Bringing You Joy Right Now

Show Notes:

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Wendy's Wonderful Kids

Beginner's Guide to Adoption

DTFA on Instagram

Our Website

Find us on IG

Technology is great and terrible for our families. Millions upon millions of families have come before us with little to no technology. And they did pretty well for themselves. But here we are with too much technology and what are we supposed to do now?

Todd Watson, CEO of Showit (the sponsor of our podcast!) and Chris' cousin, is on the podcast! This interview is packed with so much incredible info on how to keep our families safe in this technological world.

Where to start

We cannot expect to protect our kids from everything. That is a truth pill we have to swallow, right off the bat. But let's also remember that as adults, a lot of us need this info, whether we have kids or not. A lot of us grown ups are just as bad, if not worse, than kids with their devices!

In episode 31, we talked with Robert Watson about porn and sex. One thing that he told us was that your kids are not always looking for porn, but porn is looking for them! So teach them that there are just so many things they should not click on. And talk to them about staying safe online.

Todd also mentioned that simply having a phone, and having texting capabilities is a form of social media. So even if your kids are not on social media (which we strongly recommend that they avoid it til they are at least 16, if not longer!), you still have to check up on them! If they can text, they are not getting a break from school life, or social life. When we were younger, when we left school for the day, that was it. We didn't bring the drama home with us. Make sure your kids are doing ok with who is texting them, and what people are texting them. Even deleted texts can haunt you forever - so be careful. And tell your kids to be careful.

Some tools

Here are some of the apps and tools that Todd mentioned in this episode

- qustodio.com

- bark.com

- Griffin Wifi router

- set pins on Netflix

Best parenting advice

As always, our biggest pieces of advice for having a healthy home are to eat meals together and build your relationships! If eating dinner every night together is out of the question, then eat bowls of cereal together in the morning. Just make sure you have time to look each other in the eyeballs and say "how was your day? how is your heart?"

Good Word of the Day

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

-Proverbs 22:6

Todd talked a lot about training our kids for character! SO GOOD! We can't control our kids and their actions. We can try to help them make better choices, and we can try to protect them from certain things. But if we train them to have good character, they will make a lot of those good choices for themselves!

We mentioned that Rules Without Relationship Lead to Rebellion. Work on your relationship with your kids and your loved ones. Help them to understand the rules, and even have ownership in them! Hopefully this will mitigate some of the rebellion! Friends, none of us are going to get this right 100% of the time. Our kids will slip up. And so will we! So let's have grace, AND wisdom!

Connect with Todd

You can hear more about Todd's journey as a foster family in episode 6!

You can connect with him on social media, even though he is rarely on it. (So, good luck!)

Connect with Us!

Fostering Voices on Instagram

You can also email us here!

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

If you want to see how to leave a review, check out this handy little video!

Technology is great and terrible for our families. Millions upon millions of families have come before us with little to no technology. And they did pretty well for themselves. But here we are with too much technology and what are we supposed to do now?

Todd Watson, CEO of Showit (the sponsor of our podcast!) and Chris' cousin, is on the podcast! This interview is packed with so much incredible info on how to keep our families safe in this technological world.

Where to start

We cannot expect to protect our kids from everything. That is a truth pill we have to swallow, right off the bat. But let's also remember that as adults, a lot of us need this info, whether we have kids or not. A lot of us grown ups are just as bad, if not worse, than kids with their devices!

In episode 31, we talked with Robert Watson about porn and sex. One thing that he told us was that your kids are not always looking for porn, but porn is looking for them! So teach them that there are just so many things they should not click on. And talk to them about staying safe online.

Todd also mentioned that simply having a phone, and having texting capabilities is a form of social media. So even if your kids are not on social media (which we strongly recommend that they avoid it til they are at least 16, if not longer!), you still have to check up on them! If they can text, they are not getting a break from school life, or social life. When we were younger, when we left school for the day, that was it. We didn't bring the drama home with us. Make sure your kids are doing ok with who is texting them, and what people are texting them. Even deleted texts can haunt you forever - so be careful. And tell your kids to be careful.

Some tools

Here are some of the apps and tools that Todd mentioned in this episode

- qustodio.com

- bark.com

- Griffin Wifi router

- set pins on Netflix

Best parenting advice

As always, our biggest pieces of advice for having a healthy home are to eat meals together and build your relationships! If eating dinner every night together is out of the question, then eat bowls of cereal together in the morning. Just make sure you have time to look each other in the eyeballs and say "how was your day? how is your heart?"

Good Word of the Day

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

-Proverbs 22:6

Todd talked a lot about training our kids for character! SO GOOD! We can't control our kids and their actions. We can try to help them make better choices, and we can try to protect them from certain things. But if we train them to have good character, they will make a lot of those good choices for themselves!

We mentioned that Rules Without Relationship Lead to Rebellion. Work on your relationship with your kids and your loved ones. Help them to understand the rules, and even have ownership in them! Hopefully this will mitigate some of the rebellion! Friends, none of us are going to get this right 100% of the time. Our kids will slip up. And so will we! So let's have grace, AND wisdom!

Connect with Todd

You can hear more about Todd's journey as a foster family in episode 6!

You can connect with him on social media, even though he is rarely on it. (So, good luck!)

Connect with Us!

Fostering Voices on Instagram

You can also email us here!

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

If you want to see how to leave a review, check out this handy little video!

Parenting fails are always fun to hear, but less fun to live through - especially if you are the parent (or the child of that parent!) We have 7 kids, which doesn't make us parenting experts. It just makes us a couple that has more parenting fails than normal!

Chapters:

0:00 - Opening - Welcome Back!!

0:58 - Parenting and Epic Fails

4:28 - Parenting Fail #1

6:46 - Parenting Fail #2

9:40 - Parenting Fail #3

13:00 - Parenting Fail #4

18:10 - Good Word of the Day

19:48 - Book Time!!

22:46 - We Are All in This Together

24:28 - The Review That Inspired This Episode

25:38 - Find Us On Socials

Show Notes:

The Connected Child By Dr Karyn Purvis

The Whole Brain Child By Siegel and Bryson

How to Raise an Adult By Julie Lythcott Haims

Check out Episode 110 and our interview with the author Julie Lythcott Haims

Safe House by Joshua Straub

Coddling of the American Mind by Haidt and Lukianoff

Mindset by Carol Dweck

How We Love by Kay and Milan Yerkovich

Sun Valley Church Parenting Course

Episode 113 with Jason Johnson

Thanks for tuning in!

Thankful to say that this podcast is brought to you by Showit! If you need a professional website for your creative website, Showit is the website platform for you!

Connect with us!

Fostering Voices on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

If you want to see how to leave a review, check out this handy little video!

Guys! We apologize for being such slackers! We have lots of excuses as to why we missed posting a new episode last week, but we will keep MOST of those excuses to ourselves... one of the reasons is that I was in Virginia visiting my sweet friend/work wife, Cassandra! (This is Jihae, not Chris. He does NOT have a work wife!)

Here are some things we talked about in this episode:

Do Not Use Authorized Vehicle for U-Turn on Interstate

Episode 99 - Davey Jones

Bible App on iOS

Good Word of the Day

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.a]">[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

We all struggle with doing stuff that we don't want to do. If you are struggling - you are not alone! But just cause you don't want to do something is not reason enough to NOT do it!

Leave Us a Review

Contact Link

Find us on IG

We could not be more delighted to present this interview with THE Jason Johnson! He is the author of the incredible book "Reframing Foster Care", and he is also the Director of Church Ministry Initiatives with Christian Alliance for Orphans. He has an incredible blog that is a fantastic resource for families, individuals, and churches alike.

We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did! You can also watch it on YouTube if you prefer to see faces, or you want to listen to it again, with a visual component!

You can learn more about Jason's books here. And the book club that we mentioned in the episode can be found here on YouTube, or on Jason's Facebook page.

Let's Connect!

You can also follow Jason on Instagram.

Fostering Voices on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

If you want to see how to leave a review, check out this handy little video!

Too many of us prioritize big events as major milestones. Like a family trip to Disneyland. Or a romantic getaway to Hawaii. If this is you - then this last year of not being able to travel and experience monumental wins must have really sucked, eh?

What if we found as much joy in washing our face at home every day, as we did in having a spa day? Cause who has time for spa days??? But we do have to wash our face every day (unless you are a man, and then you might accidentally wash your face in the shower on occassion.) But this episode talks about choosing simple little things that bring you great joy in your everyday life.

Jihae's picks:

- Aveeno facewash! It smells like a fresh new day of possibilities. Washing my face with this stuff every morning rejuvenates me and pumps me up for a new day. Then washing my face with it at night brings me peace and calm and helps me to remember the good from the day I just had. And it's only $6!

- Waterpik water flosser. A new purchase as recommended by our dental hygienist, this thing has brought us some great joy! It's fun and it's good for you. And it's about $35. WHo knew the bathroom could bring so much joy to a person.

Chris' picks:

- Peppermint Mocha Coffee Creamer. Chris is basically a real life elf, and he drinks this stuff EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. He loves coffee, and he really loves this creamer. It's insane. But it brings him great joy on the daily.

- Playing pick up basketball. Yay for physical activity. All the better if you can do this with some friends. Fellowship and physical activity are so powerful in helping you to feel joy, and to clear your mind, and to keep your body healthy. We make too many excuses as to why we are too busy to be healthy, but that just makes us more and more unhealthy!

Good Word of the Day

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, "King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Daniel 3:16-18

We heard this great sermon by Megan Fate Marshman last week and it was so powerful and so full of hope! She reminded us that it is FAR BETTER to serve than to be served, and to stop making an idol of ourselves! You can listen to the sermon right here.

Friends! There is still so much out there that we cannot control. But we urge you to take control of what you can! That includes yourself, your thoughts, your hygiene, your friends, your family (to a degree), your health (also to a degree). But don't feel so overwhelmed by the outside world. Find peace in knowing that you are more powerful than you think! And God is even more so!

Some other books we mentioned that have helped us find great joy in our daily lives is Mindset by Carol Dweck, and the Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.

Holler at us if you want to connect! [email protected].

Happy 2021!

We recorded this episode on December 30th, 2020, with the intentions of releasing it the next day... Well, here we are almost 3 weeks later! Gotta love those good intentions!

So welcome to season 7.

We had an absolutely incredible season 6, and we are so thankful for all of the new listeners who joined us on our journey this last year.

This episode talks about some of our favorite books and episodes from this year. We hope you enjoy it!

Some things we mentioned in this episode:

- We LOVED reading/listening to these biographies this year - "Greenlight" by Matthew McConaughey, "Born a Crime" by Trevor Noah, "That Mean Old Yesterday" by Stacey Patton (by a former foster youth), "Real American" by Julie Lythcott Haims, and "Becoming" by Michelle Obama.

- Basically every podcast episode we recorded this year were our faves for different reasons! We met Gaelin Elmore and his wife this year, and he was on episodes 86 and 87, and he shared about his journey as a former foster youth. As did my friends, Monica, in episode 107, and Wendy in Episode 100.

- We loved interviewing Justice James Beene in episode 108, and Davey Jones on episode 99, and Dr. Ray Branton on episodes 97 and 98, our sister Lindsay on building community in your neighborhood in episode 104.

- Some of our highs from this year were that we officially became a family of 9 through adoption. Chris was promoted at work, and Jihae delivered a good talk at United Apart (that you can watch on our YouTube Channel!)

- We are so thankful for our sponsors from this year - Showit, and Charles and Grace, and Keller-Gibbs Realty Team!

Happy 2021!

We recorded this episode on December 30th, 2020, with the intentions of releasing it the next day... Well, here we are almost 3 weeks later! Gotta love those good intentions!

So welcome to season 7.

We had an absolutely incredible season 6, and we are so thankful for all of the new listeners who joined us on our journey this last year.

This episode talks about some of our favorite books and episodes from this year. We hope you enjoy it!

Some things we mentioned in this episode:

- We LOVED reading/listening to these biographies this year - "Greenlight" by Matthew McConaughey, "Born a Crime" by Trevor Noah, "That Mean Old Yesterday" by Stacey Patton (by a former foster youth), "Real American" by Julie Lythcott Haims, and "Becoming" by Michelle Obama.

- Basically every podcast episode we recorded this year were our faves for different reasons! We met Gaelin Elmore and his wife this year, and he was on episodes 86 and 87, and he shared about his journey as a former foster youth. As did my friends, Monica, in episode 107, and Wendy in Episode 100.

- We loved interviewing Justice James Beene in episode 108, and Davey Jones on episode 99, and Dr. Ray Branton on episodes 97 and 98, our sister Lindsay on building community in your neighborhood in episode 104.

- Some of our highs from this year were that we officially became a family of 9 through adoption. Chris was promoted at work, and Jihae delivered a good talk at United Apart (that you can watch on our YouTube Channel!)

- We are so thankful for our sponsors from this year - Showit, and Charles and Grace, and Keller-Gibbs Realty Team!

None of us know what we are doing as parents and are always looking for solid parenting advice. Julie Lythcott-Haims has some strong suggestions. She may possibly be the most quoted author on our podcast. She is the New York Times Best Selling Author of "How to Raise an Adult: Break free of the overparenting trap and prepare your kid for success", our most recommended book on parenting. Julie has a TedTalk on the same subject that has been watched over 6 MILLION times on YouTube and Ted.com combined.

Through Julie's amazing graciousness - she is ON THE PODCAST in this episode about parenting, and becoming, and kindness! I died a million deaths of joy and awe before, during, and after the interview. Julie is WISE, and such a strong communicator, and full of kindness and empathy (as evidenced when she started crying within the first 5 minutes of our interview!) For a tiny piece of Julie's resume, she is a Stanford, and Harvard Law grad, and she was the Dean of Freshmen for a decade at Stanford. Which is the kind of resume my parents wish I had! :)

Parenting and more

• Obviously we talked about parenting. Julie drew a graph of the 4 kinds of parenting styles. In the red are: Authoritarian, Neglectful, Indulgent. The one we are all supposed to strive for is Authoritative. This parenting style has the right mix of relationship and rules. The others have incorrect, or missing elements of relationship and rules.
• The ARC of Becoming: this is an arc that takes you from being a baby to adulthood. A is for Agency. R is for Resilience. C is for Character. We need to develop this arc for ourselves, and for our kids!
• Two massive factors in raising successful adults: chores and unconditional love!
• Julie has a heart for the foster and adoptive community because she found out at the age of 10 that she had a half brother that her mom did not tell her about.
• A question she asks herself and her friends often: "What are you working on in yourself? Where are your edges? Who are you becoming?"
• Treating others with Kindness and Dignity will go further than you can ever imagine.

More resources

This episode is on YouTube! Once I get it up, there will be a link here!! Definitely worth watching so you can see Julie, and all of her illustrations! She's such a teacher. :)

You can also listen to this episode we did as a review of "How to Raise an Adult" after we read it! This is another popular parenting episode. And you can check out all of our parenting episodes on our website!

The Good Word of the Day

"We are all just walking each other home."

-Ram Dass "Be Love Now"

When you get to this part of the podcast, you will hear the cheesiest and most sincere sigh from Chris and I! What a beautiful word. And truly something we need to remember: we are all on a journey. Let's walk each other home with kindness and empathy!

If you read 'Real American', Julie's memoir, there are chapters that are SO PAINFUL to read. But if you stopped on a page without reading the next one, you would make a judgment call which is not complete or accurate. That's how it is with everyone you encounter. You are meeting them at a certain chapter of their life. Stick around for the next, and possibly help them to write that next chapter better. And YOU are on a journey as well. You are on a page, in a chapter. The book is not complete yet. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Let's walk each other home.

Connect with Julie! (She loves connecting!)

On her amazing website

She has great resources on Race. Her memoir is a MUST READ.

Her most recommended online Bookstore (no, it's not Amazon). Buying from Bookstore.org actually supports small, local bookstores!

On Instagram. That's how we started our conversation!

Don't forget to PreOrder her new book: Your Turn

Her books are available on Audible. And she narrates them! So it's definitely worth pursuing this option, cause it feels like you are sitting with a friend.

If you would like to connect with us:

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram and Chris on Facebook

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

If you want to see how to leave a review, check out this handy little video!