Fostering Voices Podcast

You may remember Maggie from Episode 33. She is the crazy lady who likes to just be surrounded by cute baby boys! Well, here we are, a year and a half later - and Maggie is still surrounded by cute baby boys!

And in this year and a half, Maggie has grown a baby in her uterus, then a month before having this baby, she reunified her foster baby, Baby A, with his biological family, and had her final bio baby, and has gone to grief counseling to work through the hard parts of fostering!

She shares 3 great tools she has learned in her grief journey:

1. Document document document. Have official statements in emails, CC your significant other on those emails, choose wise times to discuss together - but don't let that dominate your marriage and world.

2. Journal! Whether it's a document on your computer, or even in an email to yourself, or on paper with pen or pencil! Writing your thoughts and feelings can be very healing!

3. Boundaries. They are so simple yet so important. We had a podcast episode (40) talking about the book Boundaries, which is a terrific read.

The Good Word of the Day

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." —Maya Angelou.

Man! That's a good word! Knowledge is power, but also useless unless you do something with the knowledge you have acquired. We all know so much, so let's do better with all that we know!

Thanks so much to Maggie for sharing so much of her heart, struggles, and journey with us. Foster care is not easy, and may have no happy endings. BUT, can we provide the best version of a child's new normal? Hopefully yes!

You can learn more about Maggie on her website. And find her on Instagram and Facebook.

If you want to connect with us on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Court in foster care can seem like a scary, gigantic ordeal. But it isn't, especially when you realize how little say that foster parents have in their foster child's court case.

This episode goes through our 5 years of court cases - which pretty much means nothing to you - since court is so different for everyone! But what you basically need to know is this- if you can go, THEN GO! Even if you don't have a chance to speak, you usually learn more about the case, and about the children you are caring for. This is also a great opportunity to meet the bio family, and possibly forge a relationship with them.

FCRBs, aka Foster Care Review Boards, are an opportunity for foster parents to make a statement in front of a board of volunteers who work hard to get official statements in front of a judge. There is some debate whether these are given much weight or not, but that may depend on the judge. When given an opportunity to advocate for your foster child, we say to take it.

We thought FCRBs were just for foster parents, but it is also for bio parents. That's actually the first time we met Wesley's parents - at an FCRB. And it was interesting.

Which leads to another point we made, which is to be aware of how you are dressing for court, and other official meetings like an FCRB. You don't have to be dressed to the nines. Even nice jeans will do. But be aware that you may see bio families, and other people who may be judging you on first appearances.

TDMs are Team Decision Meetings, and are supposed to include all parties on a child's team - case managers, bio and foster parents, lawyers, etc. These are usually supposed to be pretty low key. But we did go to one, after parents' rights were severed, and it was INTENSE. So, again - anything can happen!

If you want to hear more about court, and especially about GALs (Guardian Ad Litems), you can check out episode 53 where we interview Kim Turner, an awesome lawyer for foster kids.

The Good Word of the Day:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

-Psalm 9:9-10

God is a refuge for the oppressed - and sometimes that feels like us - the foster families. But no one is more oppressed than our foster kids. Sometimes all this court stuff, and meetings, and appointments feels like a major hassle, and a little inconvenient, but when we can remember the inconvenience and hassle of our foster babes' lives - I think we as the responsible adults can continue to endure, and advocate, and provide for these kids!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Court in foster care can seem like a scary, gigantic ordeal. But it isn't, especially when you realize how little say that foster parents have in their foster child's court case. 

This episode goes through our 5 years of court cases - which pretty much means nothing to you - since court is so different for everyone! But what you basically need to know is this- if you can go, THEN GO! Even if you don't have a chance to speak, you usually learn more about the case, and about the children you are caring for. This is also a great opportunity to meet the bio family, and possibly forge a relationship with them.

FCRBs, aka Foster Care Review Boards, are an opportunity for foster parents to make a statement in front of a board of volunteers who work hard to get official statements in front of a judge. There is some debate whether these are given much weight or not, but that may depend on the judge. When given an opportunity to advocate for your foster child, we say to take it.

We thought FCRBs were just for foster parents, but it is also for bio parents. That's actually the first time we met Wesley's parents - at an FCRB. And it was interesting.

Which leads to another point we made, which is to be aware of how you are dressing for court, and other official meetings like an FCRB. You don't have to be dressed to the nines. Even nice jeans will do. But be aware that you may see bio families, and other people who may be judging you on first appearances.

TDMs are Team Decision Meetings, and are supposed to include all parties on a child's team - case managers, bio and foster parents, lawyers, etc. These are usually supposed to be pretty low key. But we did go to one, after parents' rights were severed, and it was INTENSE. So, again - anything can happen!

If you want to hear more about court, and especially about GALs (Guardian Ad Litems), you can check out episode 53 where we interview Kim Turner, an awesome lawyer for foster kids.

The Good Word of the Day:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
    a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name trust in you,
    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

-Psalm 9:9-10

God is a refuge for the oppressed - and sometimes that feels like us - the foster families. But no one is more oppressed than our foster kids. Sometimes all this court stuff, and meetings, and appointments feels like a major hassle, and a little inconvenient, but when we can remember the inconvenience and hassle of our foster babes' lives - I think we as the responsible adults can continue to endure, and advocate, and provide for these kids!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week we talk about a marriage conference we went to earlier this year.

We talk about punching our sharks in the face, whether our sharks are shame, as Kara talked about in episode 66. Or maybe your shark is negativity, or hopelessness. Whatever it is - identify it, and beat it!

We also learned about 'the edge effect' which happens in ecosystems where two edges meet each other: like water and land (aka beaches), or forest and desert. Or in marriage when one person joins another, or in foster care, where one family is joined by kids they don't know. The result can be messy, and chaotic, but also brimming with life and adventure!

The Good Word of the Day:

"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:17, 19-20

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week we talk about a marriage conference we went to earlier this year. 

We talk about punching our sharks in the face, whether our sharks are shame, as Kara talked about in episode 66. Or maybe your shark is negativity, or hopelessness. Whatever it is - identify it, and beat it!

We also learned about 'the edge effect' which happens in ecosystems where two edges meet each other: like water and land (aka beaches), or forest and desert. Or in marriage when one person joins another, or in foster care, where one family is joined by kids they don't know. The result can be messy, and chaotic, but also brimming with life and adventure!

The Good Word of the Day:

"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:17, 19-20

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode hits on a ton of different topics, as we interview Kristen Friend, a foster mom of a little over a year.

In the intro though, we did get to hear from Chris, and he and Jihae shared their Highs and Lows. Having 9 people in the house is definitely starting to wear on everyone - but as we continue to have open conversations, and tweak what is working - and what is not, we are continuing to do well!

We did mention this great meme about 'Fairnesss':

A great visual to remember what we are trying to provide for every human in our house! WE just definitely do not have it figured out.

But on to the interview!

Kristen, and her husband Houston, are the Friends! That is their actual last name. They have been married for 7 years, and have been fostering a little over a year. They are currently with their 3rd placement.

We did hit on a vulnerable topic - and that is Infertility and Foster Care and what that has looked like for Kristen. Many people make assumptions that they are fostering so they can adopt children - but that's not the case. They have been able to reunify one of their foster children, and that has been a huge blessing for everyone.

A major issue that Kristen has dealt with, that we have heard from other foster families who don't have bio children, is the fear that they are not doing a good job parenting 'because they haven't had their own kids' - and we are going to claim and proclaim that THAT IS GARBAGE! No parents know what they are doing! Everyone experiences parenting 'for the first time' all the time (we are dealing with jr high for the first time, etc) - so that doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. As long as everyone is actually doing what is best for the children in their care - that's being a great parent. Let's support each other and not tear each other down. #graceforallpeople. Especially grace for yourself!

The Good Word of the Day

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

-Matthew 6:34

Major shout out to everyone who walks along all of us on our foster care journeys. Today does have enough trouble of its own - but it helps to spread the burden! Major props to Hope Bible Church for setting up meals for the Friends when they get new placements!!

Thanks for coming on the podcast and sharing your experience and heart with us all, Kristen!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Kristen aka @FollowtheFriends on Instagram

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode hits on a ton of different topics, as we interview Kristen Friend, a foster mom of a little over a year.

In the intro though, we did get to hear from Chris, and he and Jihae shared their Highs and Lows. Having 9 people in the house is definitely starting to wear on everyone - but as we continue to have open conversations, and tweak what is working - and what is not, we are continuing to do well!

We did mention this great meme about 'Fairnesss':

A great visual to remember what we are trying to provide for every human in our house! WE just definitely do not have it figured out.

But on to the interview!

Kristen, and her husband Houston, are the Friends! That is their actual last name. They have been married for 7 years, and have been fostering a little over a year. They are currently with their 3rd placement. 

We did hit on a vulnerable topic - and that is Infertility and Foster Care and what that has looked like for Kristen. Many people make assumptions that they are fostering so they can adopt children - but that's not the case. They have been able to reunify one of their foster children, and that has been a huge blessing for everyone. 

A major issue that Kristen has dealt with, that we have heard from other foster families who don't have bio children, is the fear that they are not doing a good job parenting 'because they haven't had their own kids' - and we are going to claim and proclaim that THAT IS GARBAGE! No parents know what they are doing! Everyone experiences parenting 'for the first time' all the time (we are dealing with jr high for the first time, etc) - so that doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. As long as everyone is actually doing what is best for the children in their care - that's being a great parent. Let's support each other and not tear each other down. #graceforallpeople. Especially grace for yourself!

The Good Word of the Day

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

-Matthew 6:34

Major shout out to everyone who walks along all of us on our foster care journeys. Today does have enough trouble of its own - but it helps to spread the burden! Major props to Hope Bible Church for setting up meals for the Friends when they get new placements!!

Thanks for coming on the podcast and sharing your experience and heart with us all, Kristen!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Kristen aka @FollowtheFriends on Instagram

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode continues our conversation on how to really connect with your child.

Some food for thought: study your child(ren), and don't take everything they do so personally!!

Good word of the Day:

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

Isaiah 49:13

God has compassion on us, and we are to have compassion on others.

Esther Wojcicki wrote this great article, talking about the importance of teaching our kids compassion.

She had this great quote: "Kids are growing up feeling like they're the center of the universe. As young adults, they're not only lacking grit and independence; they're wholly unprepared to take on causes that could make the world a better place."

So let's all work at raising compassionate youth!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode continues our conversation on how to really connect with your child.

Some food for thought: study your child(ren), and don't take everything they do so personally!!

Good word of the Day:

Shout for joy, you heavens;
    rejoice, you earth;
    burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
    and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

Isaiah 49:13

God has compassion on us, and we are to have compassion on others.

Esther Wojcicki wrote this great article, talking about the importance of teaching our kids compassion.

She had this great quote: "Kids are growing up feeling like they’re the center of the universe. As young adults, they’re not only lacking grit and independence; they’re wholly unprepared to take on causes that could make the world a better place."

So let's all work at raising compassionate youth!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode features an interview with Kara Lackey, who with her husband, Jason, created the Know and Love Quiz! This quiz is a FREE resource for families to get to know and love their kids better, and to meet each child's unique needs. Although they started off on this journey to help themselves as parents, they instantly saw how great this would be for foster families, who may not know the history of the children who come into their homes - but they can still learn how to best speak to these kids' hearts.

Visit knowandlove.com to do a free assessment of your kids and their unique personalities! This website is full of amazing resources to help you understand the different ways that your children are wired, and how you can talk to them, and interact with them, in a way that they feel known and loved!

This is a resource that is designed to help parents feel like they have some tools in their "emotional first aid kits" to help them understand their kids better. We as parents often, and unknowingly, shame our children - because we simply do not understand their behaviors.

Some other tools we think will be very helpful are The Connected Child, and The Whole Brain Child. Both are amazing books that help you to look at your children in a new light. Especially with having foster children in your home - we don't know everything they have been through, but we can know how to help them to deal with their baggage, and to help carry that burden with them. These are all tools that will help your kids to understand how to express themselves better now - and that will benefit them greatly into adulthood.

"We create a space for creative, constructive interaction in our home, where most of our energy goes towards maintaining awareness of where shame is hiding. Jesus can overcome shame when it is brought to the light.

Jason and Kara have been on a journey to punch shame in the face! They have chosen to 'swim towards' the things that have brought them shame - in their finances, in the marriage, in their personal health journeys. They have done HARD things, and continue to do so, with a huge heart to help others on their journeys as well.

Shame wants to tell us that we are alone. But we are not. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." There are so many out there who are suffering with the same things that you are! Bring your shame to the light, and you will find others who are struggling with the same things!

Romans 10:11 says that "anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame" , so let us, as a family of believers live confidently and lovingly with one another.

Thank you Kara, and Jason, for all the great work you guys have done, and continue to do for parents - especially foster parents. We hope that you enjoy this episode!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find Kara at KaraLackey on Instagram, and at Know and Love on Instagram , and on Facebook. J

We missed Chris this week, but you can connect with him on facebook.

Connect with us at Fostering Voices on Instagram

And with Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!