Fostering Voices Podcast

Arizona Association for Foster and Adoptive Parents (aka AZAFFAP) is a fantastic organization here in Arizona, that stands to create a community of support for foster and adoptive parents. They are for families, by families!

This interview is with the wonderful Kristi Sharp, the office administrator at AZAFFAP, and she is also a former foster parent. If you join AZAFFAP, Kristi will be your point of contact, and I am so thankful that she is so great at her job!

There are 2 levels of memberships - a basic one, which is FREE! And this membership comes with emails and resources to help you on your foster care journey. The next membership is $35 for a single adult, or $50 for a couple. This membership comes with extra perks that far exceed $50!

Some of those perks include:

- Annual Shoes Giveaway: Foster children, and any other children living in the home, are able to go to DSW or WSS to pick out a new pair of shoes!

- Recycle Your Bicycle: Foster children, and any other children living in the home, are able to come on an appointed day, to get a new or refurbished bicycle!

- Top Golf with Dad: A fun 3 hours to go to Top Golf with dad, and hang out with other foster families.

- Nutcracker Ballet: Free tickets to the Nutcracker ballet!

- Family Picnic with ASU: an event put on by ASU for foster families to come together and have a giant picnic.

- Staycation: This is a paid event, so it is also available for the basic members. But foster families are able to enjoy a staycation at a great resort (last year was at The Arizona Grand) in Phoenix, or in Tuscon, at a very discounted rate!

- Christmas in July: which is exactly what it sounds like!

Thanks so much to Kristi, for all that she does with AZAFFAP, and also to the fine folks behind this incredible organization! Fostering and adopting are not easy, but it is so wonderful to be able to be supported by amazing organizations like this one.

This episode features an interview with JT and Ashley Pals, new parents to their precious son, Case. Case is also on the podcast, which is why there are baby noises every now and again. He is a bit more vocal in the beginning, but keep on listening as he is enthralled with his own story for most of the rest of the podcast! We like to give voice to all members of the family, whenever possible. :)

So the Pals' journey to adopt started with their decision to adopt in 2017, after they babysat our sweet Evie for us a handful of times. Of course they had thought about it before, but the time finally felt right for them to move forward with this decision. Especially since they had waited for years to be able to have a family.

The process was long, filled with paper work and hurrying up and waiting. It wasn't until June 2019 that they finally got a call that they had been matched with a family! They brought Case home after he was born in July, and had to wait 72 hours for the birth family to legally and officially sign their rights over to the Pals'.

In other states, the wait is very different, so if you are interested in in-state infant adoption, please make sure you are aware of how long the signing process is. Also, there are many different costs that need to be paid to do this kind of adoption. The Pals' was about $25,000, which they raised in about 2 weeks! Talk about having a community around them that was eager to help and see the Pals become parents!

Their Good Word of the Day was PATIENCE. And you will know why after you listen to their episode. But we also talked about how 'You are Loved' is a logo that they created to symbolize every member of their adoption journey.

And the people that the Pals picked to play them if they were to make a movie of their life are:

Kiefer Southerland or Jesse Ferguson.

Julia Roberts.

And Frankie Munez!

What a cute family! Thank you Pals' for sharing your story with us, and for being a great example of WAITING, and doing hard things!

If you have any other questions, you can reach out to the Pals via Instagram. You can also connect with us on Social Media, or you can email us at [email protected]

Also, if you enjoyed this episode, we would love for you to leave us a review on iTunes!

Thanks so much and have a great week!

Have you ever been under investigation as a foster family? We have! And we are here to share about it. Not the details of our investigation per se, but definitely what happened when we found out, and how it panned out. Listen to the episode to hear alllllll about it!

So, we have been a foster family for over 5 years now. And we made the decision to only foster babies for several reasons. A big reason - they can't talk. We have A LOT of talkers in this house, and we didn't feel like we needed to hear more words. Also, we are afraid of things like THIS. Having allegations made up about us. Not to say that is something that definitely happens when you have older kids. But We only fostered babies and never had this. Then we started fostering older kids and BLAMO! Investigation.

Our Investigation Story

Last year we decided to take in older children - and 2 of them! And what a glorious decision that was. Unicorn and Mermaid have been great additions to our family, and we are thankful for them. But their mom made an allegation against our 4 year old, and all of a sudden we were being investigated! This came out of left field, especially since we felt really great about our relationship with their mom. And as our case worker aptly put it - we felt so betrayed. We are over here working our tails off to care for her girls, and we are trying so hard to operate in a way that is above reproach, and she still does this to us.

Apparently, if the investigation is an emergency, someone from the state will come out to see you within 48 hours. Someone came to see us about a month later. The investigator was very kind and talked to me, then each of the kids, and then our bio kids altogether. The process took about 2 hours. And then he called the other adults who live in this house, but weren't present. So, maybe make sure everyone who lives in the house is home when your investigator comes.

Everything came back unfounded. We are thankful that that ordeal is over. And we are aware that not everyone is so lucky to have an easy investigation. I am aware that foster kids can lie about your family, and that bio families can as well. We encourage you to get a call recording app to record phone calls (something we should have done but didn't), and making sure your family has rules - that you actually abide by, so that allegations made against you can't stand because everyone in the home already lives by those rules.

We are here for you if you should ever find yourself in this position. It is something that foster parent classes tell you to be prepared for - but this is not a guarantee, nor is it something that should prevent you from getting involved in foster care!

Additional resources

We referred to a lot of past episodes within this episode. Please check out the episode with our Case Worker, Kelly Lewis. We also spoke with an amazing GAL who helped us to understand the legal side of things. And Kim Vehon of Foster Arizona is such a huge support to me. And she has so many resources for foster parents. Also, Grace Sharp, a dear friend, used to help manage a group home, and you should listen to her episode as well!

Even though we were not thankful for this investigation at the time, we are thankful that there are steps to find BAD foster families. We are aware that people who pose as safe homes, are anything but. We want those homes to be shut down! We do find it frustrating though, that good foster families who are truly trying to do right by kids in care, have zero legal representation. We hear there are several new bills and pieces of legislation that are emerging, so we are interested to see how that comes to play for foster families.

Good Word of the Day

"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools." - Ecclesiastes 7:9

That was a word specifically for me! I definitely acted the fool that day (and a few days after) as I processed the investigation and the allegations made against our family.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

But THIS good word is how I should have acted, and how we all need to act, even in the face of anger and disappointment. We are not responsible for our first reaction to news and events. We are, however, responsible for our first actions, and subsequent actions afterwards.

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Have you ever been under investigation as a foster family? We have! And we are here to share about it. Not the details of our investigation per se, but definitely what happened when we found out, and how it panned out. Listen to the episode to hear alllllll about it!

So, we have been a foster family for over 5 years now. And we made the decision to only foster babies for several reasons. A big reason - they can't talk. We have A LOT of talkers in this house, and we didn't feel like we needed to hear more words. Also, we are afraid of things like THIS. Having allegations made up about us. Not to say that is something that definitely happens when you have older kids. But We only fostered babies and never had this. Then we started fostering older kids and BLAMO! Investigation.

Our Investigation Story

Last year we decided to take in older children - and 2 of them! And what a glorious decision that was. Unicorn and Mermaid have been great additions to our family, and we are thankful for them. But their mom made an allegation against our 4 year old, and all of a sudden we were being investigated! This came out of left field, especially since we felt really great about our relationship with their mom. And as our case worker aptly put it - we felt so betrayed. We are over here working our tails off to care for her girls, and we are trying so hard to operate in a way that is above reproach, and she still does this to us.

Apparently, if the investigation is an emergency, someone from the state will come out to see you within 48 hours. Someone came to see us about a month later. The investigator was very kind and talked to me, then each of the kids, and then our bio kids altogether. The process took about 2 hours. And then he called the other adults who live in this house, but weren't present. So, maybe make sure everyone who lives in the house is home when your investigator comes.

Everything came back unfounded. We are thankful that that ordeal is over. And we are aware that not everyone is so lucky to have an easy investigation. I am aware that foster kids can lie about your family, and that bio families can as well. We encourage you to get a call recording app to record phone calls (something we should have done but didn't), and making sure your family has rules - that you actually abide by, so that allegations made against you can't stand because everyone in the home already lives by those rules.

We are here for you if you should ever find yourself in this position. It is something that foster parent classes tell you to be prepared for - but this is not a guarantee, nor is it something that should prevent you from getting involved in foster care!

Additional resources

We referred to a lot of past episodes within this episode. Please check out the episode with our Case Worker, Kelly Lewis. We also spoke with an amazing GAL who helped us to understand the legal side of things. And Kim Vehon of Foster Arizona is such a huge support to me. And she has so many resources for foster parents. Also, Grace Sharp, a dear friend, used to help manage a group home, and you should listen to her episode as well!

Even though we were not thankful for this investigation at the time, we are thankful that there are steps to find BAD foster families. We are aware that people who pose as safe homes, are anything but. We want those homes to be shut down! We do find it frustrating though, that good foster families who are truly trying to do right by kids in care, have zero legal representation. We hear there are several new bills and pieces of legislation that are emerging, so we are interested to see how that comes to play for foster families.

Good Word of the Day

"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools." - Ecclesiastes 7:9

That was a word specifically for me! I definitely acted the fool that day (and a few days after) as I processed the investigation and the allegations made against our family.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

But THIS good word is how I should have acted, and how we all need to act, even in the face of anger and disappointment. We are not responsible for our first reaction to news and events. We are, however, responsible for our first actions, and subsequent actions afterwards.

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Jacob's Hope is an organization here in Arizona, that seeks to provide care, support, and education for newborns who have been substance exposed. It started from the hearts of Jo and Brian Jones, who adopted their son, Jacob, who was substance exposed.

This week we had the pleasure of interviewing Jo, the president and co-founder of Jacob's Hope, as well as Syria Watson, the community relations liaison. Syria also happens to be our aunt, and Jo is also a great friend of hers, and Chris' grandmother and Jo's mom have been best friends for over 40 years! Small world!

As foster parents, we can have our substance exposed children receive care and treatment at Jacob's Hope. You can call 480-398-7373. But the best thing for you to do is to take your baby to the pediatrician, or the hospital, to receive a diagnosis for your child.

To learn more about Jacob's Hope and their amazing team, and what they do, check out their website. Though they are currently not in need of volunteers to hold the babies, they are always open to taking newborn sized diapers, as well as these items from their wish list, and financial donations as well!

You can allocate your Amazon Smiles to Jacob's Hope, as well as your Fry's money. And if you search through United Ways list of organizations, you will find them there as well!

It is just about tax season, and if you are getting ready to file your taxes, you can listen to this episode to help you with that!

If you live in Arizona, there is a huge one-day conference going on called Kids Blitz. This is a great opportunity to get your education hours in to keep your foster care license up. This will be on Saturday, March 5th, 2020, and Jacob's Hope will be there!

Good Word of the Day

"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

Matthew 25:40

Thankful for the way that the Bible can convict us and move us to care for others the way Christ cares for us.

The random question of season 5 is 'Who would play you in the movie of your life?'

Syria said Diane Keaton, cause it's the only correct answer. And Jo went with Emma Thompson, which is also a great answer because they are both prevailing, resilient, classic women.

We hope you enjoyed this episode! Thank you for listening, and we hope that you will check out Jacob's Hope, and you can connect with them on Instagram .

And you can connect with us as well! On Instagram and on our website!

Episode 81 marks the first episode of Season 5, and we are so excited for a brand new season, featuring new episodes and new interviews! The biggest news from our off season is that we acquired a Podcast Sponsor! We are so very thankful for Showit for walking alongside our podcast, and foster care journey, and supporting us!

Showit is a premier website builder for photographers. Although admittedly- anyone who needs a website can benefit from the beautiful designs, and mobile-responsive layout of all Showit sites. Our website is powered by Showit! And one of our sweet co-workers at Showit - Josh Ahles, worked on some backend stuff on our site, so we are thankful that it is working better than before! So if you are looking for a website, check out Showit! If you need someone to help you with it, hit up Josh! We also know a ton of other website designers, so seriously, reach out if this is something you are interested in.

This episode talks about our 6 week break from the podcast, where we got to relax, and rest as a family of 9. We had a great Christmas, and worked on some things during our break. Namely goals for the new year! Our kids do this as well. The 4 years olds basically get to partake in some caffeine-free Starbucks, and they color. But all the other kids think of things they want to accomplish, and how they are going to do that. Many goals involved being more patient with siblings, and making better food choices (less Takis!).

Some of our inspiration for making our goals comes from Dave Ramsey, and this episode from the Storybrand podcast. Our friend Grant Botma is a great example of working out a life goal. His company, Stewardship, seeks to love people through their finances. So simple, yet you can see this in every aspect of Grant's business and life! He recently wrote a great book where he also talks about this called The Problem Isn't Their Paycheck. Definitely check all of those out!

One major takeaway from this episode for foster parents is to Check Your Email Junk Mail! We lost some valuable notices for free bicycles for foster kids before Christmas! Such a bummer. But we did hit up Goodwill after Christmas, and we scored some great bikes for $12! What a deal!

We are so thankful for all of you listeners, and we hope you enjoyed your holidays as well. Get ready for a new season of the podcast, and we hope to educate and empower you on the journey you are on!

We would love to connect with you, and now you can email us at [email protected] !

If you are enjoying our podcast, please leave a review for us on whatever platform you listen to podcasts!

Hope you have a great week and join us again next Saturday!

Today is Chris' 40th birthday! And that's why we are releasing episode 80 on a Thursday, instead of a Saturday morning!

We actually had a really hard time getting this episode up, so we are just counting our blessings that this is finally happening. This week we recap this AhMazing year that we had, and leave you with words of encouragement for the year ahead!

Some of our highlights include our 2 former foster placements getting adopted (getting ready to be adopted). And all the fun travel we were able to squeeze into the year (Thailand as a family of 6 was a big one! You can hear more about it on this episode ).

And a big one that we haven't mentioned before, is that Chris has just led our family so beautifully and so powerfully this year. He actually donated his kidney last month, to a man who had been on dialysis for the last 14 months. We did not know that 20 people a day die while waiting for an organ transplant. And there are over 113,000 people waiting for an organ donation in the US. You can read more facts about organ donation here. But we just want to use our platform to raise awareness for these people who need our help!

Our new motto in life may be 'people are suffering, we can help.' There are so many things that prevent us from standing in the gap for people in need. Mostly it's fear. Often it's all of the 'What Ifs'. But what if we shut down fear, and the what ifs, and just ACTED, and helped, and changed someone else's life?

Will you do this???

The Good Word of the Day

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."

- 2 John 1:6

Whatever obedience looks like for you. we pray that you would have the courage to take those steps! It may not be organ donation, it may noe ever be fostering or adopting. BUT it could be!!!!

We will be taking a little break here to enjoy the holiday with our family and friends, and we hope you will do the same. We are SO VERY thankful for you, sweet listeners! See you in January for another great season of the Fostering Voices podcast!

Bye for now!

This episode is gonna give you all the feels friends, so brew yourself a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy. Unless you are driving. Then stay focused and alert, but still enjoy this episode.

Jeremy was on the podcast on Episode 47: Interview with a Sharp Adoptee and Foster Dad  back in March of this year. He mentioned that he had been gifted with an Ancestry.com gift from his wife, and he wanted to see if he had any siblings out there. WELP. He got what he was looking for. And he also got something he wasn't looking for - HIS BIO DAD!!!

We hope that you enjoy this episode. We know that not every adoption story has this outcome, and it can be devastating. We don't want to be insensitive to that. But we do want to celebrate with Jeremy who was able to be reunited with his birth dad - Papa Jeff. 

We also want to always be respectful of our guests, so we didn't ask a ton of questions in this interview. We wanted to let Jeremy and Jeff tell their story! (Even though we did try to lay copyright claims on it so we could turn it into a Hallmark Christmas movie!)

But major kudos to every single member of Jeff and Jeremy's families for all the major changes they faced this year! The Adoption Triad is something that is SO important in helping Adoptees to feel supported, and that is comprised of the Adoptee, their bio family, and their adoptive family. Jeremy's entire family has just been such a beautiful example of what it looks like to lovingly embrace every new member of Jeremy's family. This takes so much humility and self-control, and we commend everyone who works hard to make the Adoption Triad work well for the sake of their child!

A little more on Jeremy: he is a good friend of ours. He is married to Grace, who was a guest on our podcast, on episode 45. Together they have 2 boys, and a little foster daughter. Jeremy works at Stewardship, the company that handles all of our insurance, mortgages, financial stuff! We were once guests on his podcast, The Defining Stewardship Podcast. We highly recommend Stewardship for any and every service they provide!

The Good Word of the Day:

“For the revelation (vision) awaits an appointed time;     it speaks of the end     and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it;     it will certainly come     and will not delay.”

-Habakkuk 2:3

This was actually Jeremy's verse that he shared back in March, and it's even more BEAUTIFUL in light of all that has happened this year!

If you would like to connect:

Jeremy at Stewardship

Jeremy on Instagram.

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

Thanksgiving has come and gone, but we are truly in the thick of the holidays! We get this season can be SO STRESSFUL for so many people, but it doesn't have to be that way if we can plan appropriately (or as much as possible.)

Don't forget to create some margin for your family! It's easy to get wrapped up in all of the holiday parties and events, but don't forget to intentionally make time to be home, have dinner as a family, and REST. This is good for you as the parent, but also good for your kids!

It is also important to Over-Communicate with your kids! Tell them what is happening today, tomorrow, and what things are expected of them. Whether that's dress code, food choices, people they are going to encounter, etc.

Episodes 38 and 39 feature Christie Priem, a speech-language pathologist, and even though we spoke primarily on detecting developmental delays in children, she also gave so many great tips on avoiding, and dealing with behaviors in all children. So those episodes are definitely worth a listen if you have toddlers in the house!

Make sure you have BOUNDARIES around your time, relationships, expectations, and so on. We also spoke on those in episode 40, and we always highly recommend the book, Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Chris is passionate about people keeping boundaries on their MONEY, so make a budget for your holiday spending, and stick to it! Don't make emotional decisions based on what is on sale, and what other people are getting for their loved ones. Have a plan, stick to the plan, and if the things you were planning on happen to be on sale - that's a win!

Good Word of the Day

"But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

- 1 John 3:17-18

Let's also PLAN to GIVE! Donating to those in need during the holidays may seem even more stressful, or not possible. But if you plan to give, and make it a family activity, then it makes it possible, and even more rewarding.

We hope you enjoyed this episode, and if you want to connect, we are always happy to hear from you guys! Thank you for being the best listeners!

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode talks about national adoption month and thanksgiving!

National Adoption Month and Day!

November 23rd 2019 is National Adoption Day, which is so exciting as we know this is a huge day for families who are adopting children out of foster care! And National Adoption Month was created to promote adoption via foster care.

We are thankful for all the families that we know who have adopted - whether locally or internationally. Adoption is a multi-faceted and emotionally-charged topic, but when done with grace and humility, that's when the adoption triad can really thrive!

Adoption Triad

We have spoken about the adoption triad in passing several times, and it involves the Adoptee (person who was adopted), the Bio family, and the Adoptive family. When each side of the triangle is strong, and willing to do what is best for the adoptee, the triangle can be successful!

Name Change?

In this episode, we also touched on whether or not adoptive families have changed their adopted children's given names. We found that more people who responded to our poll DID change names. Reasons varied from safety, to letting children choose their new names, and giving family names. And reasons for not changing names was to allow children to keep one of the things that their parents gave to them. (Another family said they kept their birth names as middle names). There is no wrong answer to this, and I am thankful that we have also had input from adoptees themselves. It is important to do what is right for your adoptee and your family.

The Good Word of the Day

"Gratitude is one of the greatest Christian virtues; ingratitude is one of the most destructive sins. Ask God to open your eyes to all the blessings He has given you, and ask for a fresh spirit of gratitude - not just at this season of the year, but always."

- Billy Graham, Hope For Each Day

We hope you will all take time this week, as well as everyday, to find something wonderful to be grateful for. We understand some seasons are easier to do this in than others, but it's still important nonetheless!

We talked about what an inspiration it was to hear Montel Williams talk about his battle with MS. He once said hat instead of focusing on foods he is no longer allowed to eat, he looks at the food he is able to eat (mostly veggies!) and thinks 'what a blessing that I have the privilege to eat this healthy food.' Focus on the positive and not the negatives!

And we also read this article that shared more about Motel and his amazing mindset: "These days, Montel tries to think of his disease as a gift. "This is what God gave me," he says. Montel shares one of his calming techniques with Oprah, Dr. Oz and the audience.

• Close your eyes.
• Think back on a wonderful moment in your life.
• Take two deep breaths.
• Open your eyes.

"I go to that place of gratitude," he says. "I go to that place of fulfillment and taking advantage of the small things." " And when we can look at being foster and adoptive parents in the same light: that we have the privilege of taking care of these kids, instead of the burden, or inconvenience of the system, hopefully that will make this journey more enjoyable for everyone. We hope you are able to enjoy great meals with great people this week (and every week)! We are so thankful for you listeners!

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at [email protected]

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!