Fostering Voices Podcast

How are you holding up friends?

This week's episode starts off with us talking about a rough day in the Watson household. Is it because of quarantine? Or PMS? Or just parenting? Maybe all of the above.

Then we get into the meat of the episode - which is about a great book we read - "Safe House" by Dr. Josh Straub. In this book, they talk about how EMOTIONAL SAFETY, more than any other factor is scientifically linked to raising kids who live, love, and lead well. So it's important as the parents to learn emotional safety, so we can provide that for our kids as well.

We mentioned that we went to Kids Blitz, here in Arizona. And it was a 6 hour training day for foster parents, and it was great! Chris and I learned about how kids organize, according to their surroundings - and to their guardians. If you are unstable as the guardian, children will not know how to organize and stay regulated around you.

This prompted us to add a new element to our nightly routine of book reading/devotionals and prayer - bedtime handshakes. Each kid has a unique handshake with each parent. And even after a very long day - the kids get their handshake. Even if there isn't much talking or snuggling besides that - the handshake helps everyone to go to bed knowing that things are ok, and their parents love them. Kids need stability. And sometimes we fail at giving it to them. But we are trying! We encourage everyone to MAKE TIME for what matters to you, and your family!

If you listen to episodes 38 and 39, we have interviews with Christie Priem, a speech language pathologist. She shares so many incredible tips on how to help your children to regulate themselves. She primarily talks about how to detect developmental delays in your children - but all of these tactics work for children, and adults alike!

And don't forget that children with trauma - even the ones who don't "look/act" traumatized - have carried a heavy burden in their lives. Their ACES scores are higher, just by being a ward of the state, and not living with their biological families. Let's remember this, especially if they struggle with learning, and doing things that we think 'should be easy'.

The Good Word of the Day

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Psalm 4:8

Friends! Let's make sure we, as parents, are taking deep breaths, reading good books, are controlling the things that we can control. Then we can provide homes that provide for basic needs of children, and then some. When we are constantly angry, frustrated, upset - we shouldn't be surprised if our children are mirroring that behavior and attitude.

We hope you have a great week, and will be back to tune in for another new episode next week! Stay safe and sane!

How are you holding up friends?

This week's episode starts off with us talking about a rough day in the Watson household. Is it because of quarantine? Or PMS? Or just parenting? Maybe all of the above.

Then we get into the meat of the episode - which is about a great book we read - "Safe House" by Dr. Josh Straub. In this book, they talk about how EMOTIONAL SAFETY, more than any other factor is scientifically linked to raising kids who live, love, and lead well. So it's important as the parents to learn emotional safety, so we can provide that for our kids as well.

We mentioned that we went to Kids Blitz, here in Arizona. And it was a 6 hour training day for foster parents, and it was great! Chris and I learned about how kids organize, according to their surroundings - and to their guardians. If you are unstable as the guardian, children will not know how to organize and stay regulated around you.

This prompted us to add a new element to our nightly routine of book reading/devotionals and prayer - bedtime handshakes. Each kid has a unique handshake with each parent. And even after a very long day - the kids get their handshake. Even if there isn't much talking or snuggling besides that - the handshake helps everyone to go to bed knowing that things are ok, and their parents love them. Kids need stability. And sometimes we fail at giving it to them. But we are trying! We encourage everyone to MAKE TIME for what matters to you, and your family!

If you listen to episodes 38 and 39, we have interviews with Christie Priem, a speech language pathologist. She shares so many incredible tips on how to help your children to regulate themselves. She primarily talks about how to detect developmental delays in your children - but all of these tactics work for children, and adults alike!

And don't forget that children with trauma - even the ones who don't "look/act" traumatized - have carried a heavy burden in their lives. Their ACES scores are higher, just by being a ward of the state, and not living with their biological families. Let's remember this, especially if they struggle with learning, and doing things that we think 'should be easy'.

The Good Word of the Day

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Psalm 4:8

Friends! Let's make sure we, as parents, are taking deep breaths, reading good books, are controlling the things that we can control. Then we can provide homes that provide for basic needs of children, and then some. When we are constantly angry, frustrated, upset - we shouldn't be surprised if our children are mirroring that behavior and attitude.

We hope you have a great week, and will be back to tune in for another new episode next week! Stay safe and sane!

This week's episode features an interview with our son, Topher! He is 12 years old, and direct and brief with his answers! Which is why you get to enjoy a nice, short episode this week!

In this episode we talked about:

Baking! We made bagels from scratch and they were great! You can check out this recipe we used. But just a side note - she says to make 8 bagels - and I think we made about 12.

Foster kids sharing rooms. Here is a full article of requirements for parents who are considering foster care in Arizona. Different rules vary state to state, but they are very similar. In Arizona, children of opposite genders may share a room if they are under 6 years old. And foster parents may not share a room with their foster children. Just in case you were wondering.

The Good Word of the Day:

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

- Philippians 4:5-6

This is Topher's life verse and it's so appropriate for the situation we are in, as well as every day. There are hard times all around, but there is also much to be thankful for. Let us focus on the positive, and the things we can control, and not be anxious about all the stuff we cannot control!

We hope you all have an amazing week! If you would like to connect, feel free to email us, or find us at Fostering Voices on Instagram

We would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week's episode features an interview with our son, Topher! He is 12 years old, and direct and brief with his answers! Which is why you get to enjoy a nice, short episode this week!

In this episode we talked about:

Baking! We made bagels from scratch and they were great! You can check out this recipe we used. But just a side note - she says to make 8 bagels - and I think we made about 12.

Foster kids sharing rooms. Here is a full article of requirements for parents who are considering foster care in Arizona. Different rules vary state to state, but they are very similar. In Arizona, children of opposite genders may share a room if they are under 6 years old. And foster parents may not share a room with their foster children. Just in case you were wondering.

The Good Word of the Day:

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

- Philippians 4:5-6

This is Topher's life verse and it's so appropriate for the situation we are in, as well as every day. There are hard times all around, but there is also much to be thankful for. Let us focus on the positive, and the things we can control, and not be anxious about all the stuff we cannot control!

We hope you all have an amazing week! If you would like to connect, feel free to email us, or find us at Fostering Voices on Instagram

We would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This week we discuss the books that we have read for Quarter 1! Most of them came strongly recommended to us, and we enjoyed them - so we hope you enjoy them as well!

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

By Johnathan Haidt, Greg Lukianoff .

Fantastic read of where we are in society with the children that we are raising, and who are currently in college and entering the work force. There are some parts that are VERY PAINFUL, but it all serves as a wake up call for us to really parent with intentionality and wisdom.

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

By Trevor Noah, and read by him in the Audible version. This book is one of our favorite biographies, and ranks up there with Kevin Hart's book that we read last year. It is heartfelt, funny, and thought provoking. As all good books should be!

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

By Kerry Patterson. This book was good and gives you courage to go ahead and have those crucial conversations you have been avoiding.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. "

The Infinite Game

By Simon Sinek, this book is another winner by this award winning author. It is similar to the ideas of having a fixed mindset vs a growth one. Still a great read to help you to see if you are playing a finite game or an infinite one - in business, and in life.

Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

By Andrew Sobel, Jerold Panas. This was a great read as well. On the podcast we unintentionally gave the intro of this book a bad rap, but we confused the intro with a different book that we read.

This is a great book and definitely helps us to stop talking, to start listening, and asking direct and powerful questions that will help unlock doors to conversations.

We also mentioned that the power of questions and having crucial conversations really showed up in 'It's a Beatiful Day in the Neighborhood', the newer movie about Mr. Rogers, starring Tom Hanks. That movie is also worth watching!

Pachinko

By Min Jin Lee, I mentioned this in a previous podcast, but I highly recommend it. A great work of fiction set during Japanese occupation in Korea.

Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness, and Well-Being

By Shawn Achor, this is another great book that we highly recommend by this author. Our favorite part was when Shawn talked about struggling with depression in the midst of teaching about happiness at Harvard. How did he get out of that depression? Letting others in!

The Power of Now

By Eckhart Tolle. Chris said this book was a bit too whimsical and didn't finish it. I will see if I get around to it.

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

By Patrick Lencioni, this is one of Chris' all time favorite leadership books. Definitely worth checking out.

All Secure

By Tom Satterly, Chris also enjoyed this book about the author and his trials and successes as a military serviceman, who was a part of the Black Hawk Down mission.

Can't Hurt Me

By David Goggins. Chris also recommends this book about David, who was a Navy Seal, but definitely did not start out as someone that you would think of as Seal material.

We hope you enjoy these books as much as we did. We are always open to hearing about your book recommendations!

Good Word of the Day

"From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don't take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you'll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they're going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes."

-Chief Justice John Roberts at his son's 9th grade graduation.

We are all kind of in a time where maybe we are feeling lonely, and like we are failing - but there are great lessons to be learned. So we encourage you to learn them! Make a schedule - for you. And then for your kids. Think about some things you want to achieve, change, overcome - and do those things!

Thank you for tuning in for another week of the podcast. We wish you a great week, and hope you will tune in again next week!

This week we discuss the books that we have read for Quarter 1! Most of them came strongly recommended to us, and we enjoyed them - so we hope you enjoy them as well!

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

By Johnathan Haidt, Greg Lukianoff .

Fantastic read of where we are in society with the children that we are raising, and who are currently in college and entering the work force. There are some parts that are VERY PAINFUL, but it all serves as a wake up call for us to really parent with intentionality and wisdom.

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

By Trevor Noah, and read by him in the Audible version. This book is one of our favorite biographies, and ranks up there with Kevin Hart's book that we read last year. It is heartfelt, funny, and thought provoking. As all good books should be!

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

By Kerry Patterson. This book was good and gives you courage to go ahead and have those crucial conversations you have been avoiding.

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. "

The Infinite Game

By Simon Sinek, this book is another winner by this award winning author. It is similar to the ideas of having a fixed mindset vs a growth one. Still a great read to help you to see if you are playing a finite game or an infinite one - in business, and in life.

Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

By Andrew Sobel, Jerold Panas. This was a great read as well. On the podcast we unintentionally gave the intro of this book a bad rap, but we confused the intro with a different book that we read.

This is a great book and definitely helps us to stop talking, to start listening, and asking direct and powerful questions that will help unlock doors to conversations.

We also mentioned that the power of questions and having crucial conversations really showed up in 'It's a Beatiful Day in the Neighborhood', the newer movie about Mr. Rogers, starring Tom Hanks. That movie is also worth watching!

Pachinko

By Min Jin Lee, I mentioned this in a previous podcast, but I highly recommend it. A great work of fiction set during Japanese occupation in Korea.

Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness, and Well-Being

By Shawn Achor, this is another great book that we highly recommend by this author. Our favorite part was when Shawn talked about struggling with depression in the midst of teaching about happiness at Harvard. How did he get out of that depression? Letting others in!

The Power of Now

By Eckhart Tolle. Chris said this book was a bit too whimsical and didn't finish it. I will see if I get around to it.

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

By Patrick Lencioni, this is one of Chris' all time favorite leadership books. Definitely worth checking out.

All Secure

By Tom Satterly, Chris also enjoyed this book about the author and his trials and successes as a military serviceman, who was a part of the Black Hawk Down mission.

Can't Hurt Me

By David Goggins. Chris also recommends this book about David, who was a Navy Seal, but definitely did not start out as someone that you would think of as Seal material.

We hope you enjoy these books as much as we did. We are always open to hearing about your book recommendations!

Good Word of the Day

"From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don't take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you'll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they're going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes."

-Chief Justice John Roberts at his son's 9th grade graduation.

We are all kind of in a time where maybe we are feeling lonely, and like we are failing - but there are great lessons to be learned. So we encourage you to learn them! Make a schedule - for you. And then for your kids. Think about some things you want to achieve, change, overcome - and do those things!

Thank you for tuning in for another week of the podcast. We wish you a great week, and hope you will tune in again next week!

This week we have a wonderful episode with our sweet friends - Brett and Jennifer Humphrey! They adopted their sweet daughter from China many years ago, and they share the beautiful ways that God was at work in their journey. It's amazing, and you are definitely going to want to hear all about it!

And Brett recently released his first two books of the Dragonborn series! We have been reading these out loud to our kids and they have been eating it up! This is a great read, that also has the theme of adoption in it! You, and your children will LOVE IT! You can purchase the books on Brett's website, as well as on Kindle and on Amazon. He is working on getting the Audible version out there!

The Good Word of the Day

"You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had"

Philippians 2:5 NLT

Brett and Jennifer share a fun way that they have memorized this verse, and they call this an 'anchor verse', because it reminds them to humble themselves as Christ humbled himself.

Reach out! Let's chat!

You can connect with Jennifer and Brett on Facebook , or at Brett's website: BrettHumphreyAuthor.com

And you can always reach out to Jihae and Chris at:

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

Chris on Facebook

You can also email us at [email protected] AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

What is the kind of success you are looking for, for your family, and for yourself?

Our last 2 episodes with Gaelin Elmore really helped us to see what it looks like to walk alongside kids, and have them choose a different path then the one we had planned for them to be on. But is it a worse path?

We have talked before about how we once proclaimed we didn't want our kids to be 'punks/a-holes', and that was our mission. But our friends, Don and Renee Worcester, advised us to focus on what we wanted our kids to become, and not on the vast array of all the things we didn't want them to become. So we chose to focus on having children who were kind, compassionate, and forgiving instead.

In this time of having more time at home, for most folks (and hats off to all the medical professionals, and folks who are working hard to keep society functioning, and are daily putting themselves at risk!), we hope that we will all take FULL ADVANTAGE of the extra time we have together.

Make a plan to have time to get to the things you have always told yourself you don't have time for! Maybe that is exercising, or reading more, or teaching your children new things.

Here are some of the resources we mentioned in this episode:

- Mindset by Carol Dweck

- The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

- The Dragonborn Series by Brett Humphrey

- Queen Dee Fitness workouts

- Blogilates Workouts!

- Finding school districts that have meal programs for all kids 18 and under. Like this one in Arizona!

This also helps to remind us to be mindful of children who are home, and not at school, and school may have been the safest place for them! Let us all be vigilant as neighbors, of kids around us who may be in need.

The Good Word of the Day

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently"

- Romans 8:24-25

May our hope be in the Lord always! Especially when we can clearly see that we cannot control the world, or people around us.

We hope you enjoyed this episode and that you are able to have an abundance mindset in this time of uncertainty. We are SO thankful for this community, and we hope that you will reach out if there is a way that we can support you in prayer, or possibly some toilet paper.

Until next week friends!

Last week we had Gaelin Elmore share the first part of his life's story with us. If you haven't heard it yet - go listen here!

In this episode, Gaelin tells us about high school life, his dad being imprisoned, and how he made it to the University of Minnesota (go Golden Gophers!), and East Carolina (go Pirates!) on football scholarships. And then he made it to the NFL, being contracted with the Cincinnati Bengals (even though he thought he was only going to make it to the CFL- the Canadian Football League - which Canadians don't even watch!) , and why he walked away from it all.

The Good Word of the Day

"Or do you have no regard for the wealth of His kindness and tolerance and patience [in withholding His wrath]? Are you [actually] unaware or ignorant [of the fact] that God's kindness leads you to repentance [that is, to change your inner self, your old way of thinking—seek His purpose for your life]?"

- Romans 2:4

We are so thankful for Gaelin (and his beautiful wife Micaela!) for spending time with us, and sharing their story with us.

Gaelin, way to pour hope into teens who need it, and for changing your inner self, to reflect God's love to everyone you encounter!

If you want to connect with him, you can do so via his website, or on social media. And as always, you can contact us on social media and at [email protected] . Thanks and have a great week, friends!

Also, feel free to leave us a review on iTunes if you haven't done so!

Gaelin Elmore is a young man who grew up in Illinois and Wisconsin, went to the University of Minnesota, and then signed with the Cincinnati Bengals. But in the midst of all that, were abusive years in foster care, and struggling with his family.

Tune in to hear all about Gaelin's journey.

Special shout out to Ms Karen, and Ms Barbara, and the janitors, and other fantastic educators and workers at the Montessori school that Gaelin was able to go to. Educators and adults have such a wonderful opportunity to speak words of life into the lives of children who may be going through really hard and dark days!

Something that made a giant impact on him, through the school, and all the amazing people that worked there, was that they saw the human in the individual. People didn't quite know what was going on behind the scenes, but they were so kind, and strict, and provided such a safe and healthy learning environment.

Good Word of the Day

"Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?"

- Romans 2:4

Thanks so much to Gaelin for sharing the beginning part of his story with us! Tune in again next week to hear the next 12 years!

You can connect with him on Instagram at Giv.Elmore , and on his website. And you can always connect with us on Instagram, or on our website!

Thanks for tuning in, and don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes!