Fostering Voices Podcast

This week's topic of discussion is to remember to be kind when communicating with others -whether it's your spouse, your foster kids, your coworkers, anyone you interact with! Everyone has things going on beneath the surface that you may know nothing about.

This episode is near and dear to our hearts as we have Kevin and Bekah Tinter joining us on the podcast! The Tinters are GREAT supporters of our podcast, as they listen every week, and have sponsored two $100 Amazon gift card giveaways this season! But more than that - the Tinters are the amazing family that has adopted one of our sweet foster babes!

You have to listen to hear how the entire process came about - with its MANY ups and downs - and that's not just from the state, or the broken system. The main 'downs' came within their marriage, and in the differing hopes and expectations that Bekah and Kevin had. But the big 'ups' were when they were able to work through all of those downs!

We also mentioned:

- Focus on the Family as a great podcast to listen to, for Christian families. This helped get the wheels turning in Kevin's mind, that maybe they could get involved in foster care.

- Relentless by John Bevere, is one of Kevin's favorite books that has helped him walk out his faith boldly!

- 3 ways to know if God is giving you an idea/plan: 1. does it line up with Scripture? 2. Does Satan want you to do this? 3. Would you come up with this on your own?

- We talked about this video that our church did about our family, and our journey through foster care. The crazy thing about this video - it further encouraged Kevin and Bekah to want to be involved in foster care, AND we were waiting on the call to get Evie as a placement when this video was filmed. Small world!

- The Tinters believe in 'Leading from the future'! Knowing what you want in the future, and taking the appropriate steps to get there. This has helped them in their business, but also in wanting to adopt Evie.

- The continued battle between Capability vs Capacity

- Major key to success in life, but especially foster care and adoption: learning to manage disappointments

- Christian Family Care is the organization that the Tinters got licensed through

- Dr. Roderick Logan is the Amazing, and wise, and kind counselor who helped them through many of the issues that arose through the adoption journey. Contact your licensing agency for a counselor who should be free for you to use if you are having issues!

- The importance of relationships with bio family, during foster care, and through adoption and beyond.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

- 1 Corinthians 15:58

Such a great word! And a great reminder that love is never wasted, and any work done for God's glory is never wasted either. But also, following God doesn't ensure that life will be easy, and that everything will go your way.

Thanks so much for listening to another episode, friends!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

Kevin Tinter on Facebook

Bekah Tinter on Facebook

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This episode is near and dear to our hearts as we have Kevin and Bekah Tinter joining us on the podcast! The Tinters are GREAT supporters of our podcast, but more than that - the Tinters are the amazing family that has adopted one of our sweet foster babes! They share about the many highs and lows that they experienced as a family through this journey.

We are finally able to talk about life after our sweet Winston Churchill! We had such a ridiculously sweet transition, and his current foster/hopeful forever family just blessed us like crazy. But we couldn't talk about it without crying, so now that it's been over a month - we are able to talk!

We had Winston with us for 10 months, and it was a glorious, and tough, but joy-filled time for all of us. Add on top of that - Chris thought we might adopt him, even though Jihae did not feel called to adopt him. This episode walks you through our time with him, as well as what the transition to his new foster home looked like, and how we survived it all.

Things that didn't go well:

• the 'transition plan' to move him over to his next placement over 2 weeks, with 2 weekend visits seemed almost unnecessary? We surely do not understand the inner workings of a baby's mind, so we can't tell if this actually helped him or not.
• after Winston left us, we saw him at church a week later. We are SO thankful that he gets to be at the same church where he can still see so many familiar faces. BUT we saw him after 1 week of not being with him and he FLIPPED OUT! Which caused us to break down, and it was a hot mess. So, seeing him after one week was a bad idea.
• our caseworker suggested maybe waiting 3-6 months. This didn't seem plausible either. So instead, we waited 1 month, and then we had dinner at his new home - AND IT WAS GREAT!

Things that went well:

• Mutual respect, honor, and desire to do what is best for the foster child. This means NO egos, or fear, or 'inconveniences' to hinder the process of doing what is in our baby's best interest! This is community at its finest!
• Patience. Patience for everything. And especially for yourself.
• PRAYER. This has helped us in our marriage, in the tough moments when we weren't on the same page, when we had to say bye to Winston, and now that Winston is in his amazing new home.
• Gratitude. Even though this was SUCH A HARD and sad time for our family, we are so thankful for the experience because 1. Winston is where he is supposed to be!!! And 2. It has given us such incredible empathy for other foster families who are in this position!

Lightbulb Moments:

• Don't overcommit yourself! Your 'Yes' to one person/activity/job/hobby, is a 'No' to someone else - usually your family
• Your home/space is often a reflection of your internal well being. So if your home is a mess, the chances that you feel like a mess - in one way or another - is high. And the external mess perpetuates the internal mess and then you are caught in a downward spiral.
• Declutter! Less is more. Your kids don't need 98 puzzles, and you probably don't need 2 more shirts that you bought on sale, but will never wear. Find the tools that will help you to get organized (like a sectioned hamper!), and start making breathing room in your home, and mind!

The (Good) Word of the Day

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

1 Peter 1:3

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This episode covers how we transitioned our sweet 10 month old, Winston Churchill, to his new forever home. There were lots of tears - before, during, and after. Because foster care is so hard. And it is not for the weak at heart. But this experience has certainly made us so much stronger! And it helps that our precious boy is with the most incredible new placement.

What is a GaL? Not just a cute name for a girl. A Guardian ad Litem is a lawyer, who is assigned to a child in foster care, and their job is to represent the best interest of the children they serve. If a child in foster care is 12 and older, they are legally able to request another attorney. The other lawyer advocates for what that child wants. The lighthearted example that Kim Turner shared with us is that a GaL will advocate that their client needs to eat vegetables every day, and their personal attorney can advocate that the child would like to eat candy instead. Obviously the issues are more serious, but that's a picture of the two lawyers' roles in a foster child's case.

Definition of ad litem

: for the lawsuit or action : appointed by the court to represent a client or estate in a particular legal action

Merriam Webster

There is recourse for GaLs who neglect to visit their clients before a court hearing! They must sign affidavits that state that they visited their clients! So if you are a foster parent who has never heard from your GaL, you need to speak up! But keep in mind that the GaL may send out a social worker who represents their law office, and this is the norm. Kim Turner, who has been practicing Juvenile Law for 15 years. She has 100 cases, which involves 150+ children. THAT'S A LOT OF KIDS! She has 3 amazing Social Workers who work for her, and they often go out to visit the foster children and report back to Kim. She makes every effort to visit the children herself. But her main job is to be at court, representing her clients in front of a judge.

What is SB1473, and how does it affect foster families?

Kim mentioned that a new law was passed in August of 2018, and here are some facts about it:

"SB1473, enacted into law on August 3, 2018, amended Arizona's child welfare statutes in important ways. The legislature adopted these changes in an 87:1 vote, demonstrating the strong consensus behind the spirit and letter of the reforms.

"The law creates a presumption that foster families who have cared for an infant for nine months or more are kin. If, after nine months, a party wants to move an infant to another relation or placement, the change of placement must be in the infant's best interest;

"When a child is taken into custody, DCS is now specifically required to make an initial search for adult relatives of the child within thirty days from the date the child is taken into custody. In performing the initial search, DCS must exercise due diligence in identifying and notifying a child's adult kin (including those adults with a significant relationship) within that thirty-day time frame." Read more here.

Some other great resources:

Casey Family Foundation, Generation Justice, both of these organizations exist to help the vulnerable children in foster care.

We also referenced Michelle Obama's new book, as well as Kevin Hart's biography, in our Light Bulb Moments. Both books are wonderful and worth the read. Notably, the listen may be better - both are read by the authors in the audio versions on Audible!

The (Good) Word of the Day

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

This was our good Word for episode 49 as well, but it's because it is so powerful. It is easy to be jaded by the grim facts and figures of foster care. The children in the system are victims who deal with trauma every single day. The Bible commands us to care for orphans and widows, but foster kids are not necessarily orphans! So many of them have parents, and they daily deal with their allegiance to their biological families, and life in foster care. So even though these children are not orphans, ALL CHILDREN need caring adults who love them, support them, and can guide them at every stage of life.

Thanks SO MUCH to Kim Turner for being our amazing guest on this week's episode. If you would like to get in touch with her, you can email her at [email protected]

If you want to connect on Social Media:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This episode features a GaL, a Guardian ad Litem, who is a 'best interest attorney' for children in foster care. Kim Turner has been practicing Juvenile Law for 15 years, and has such an amazing heart for youth in foster care, and their families. She shares valuable insight into laws, statutes, and other resources that can help foster and adoptive families.

Do you think your kids may be abusing drugs? Do you know what signs to look for? This week's episode will help you to learn basic signs and symptoms of drug abuse. We have a great interview with the hottest law enforcement officer around. My hubs.

Everyone's lives have been touched by drugs in some way, whether you have been a victim of a property crime, or maybe you have a relative who have become addicted to drugs. This is no different for kids in foster care, where it has been cited that 32% of kids are in foster care due to their parents' drug abuse issues.

Some basic signs that your child may be abusing drugs:

• The medicine cabinet is suddenly emptier. The abuse of prescription drugs is very common. Make sure you are safely disposing of your unused prescription pills.
• Your child's mood and circle of friends changes suddenly, or strangely. Obviously children have mood swings, especially as they grow into adolescence. But truly knowing your kids, and knowing their friends, will greatly help in identifying whether they are possibly abusing substances
• There is a chance that your child's health, and appearance starts to decline for no apparent reason. Drug use will affect your immune system and cause you to get sick more often. Long term use of some drugs can also cause your teeth to rot, and for you to have open lesions on your skin.
• You find drug paraphernalia in your child's room, including little ziploc baggies, burnt foil, burnt apples (this was new info to me as well!), needles, etc.
• Or, if your kid is terrible at hiding things, you find actual drugs in their room, in their bag, or on their person.

For additional resources:

You can find some documentaries on Netflix, you can just GOOGLE it, or read books on drugs and how to know what to look for. Arm yourselves! Educate yourselves! And above all - talk talk talk to your kids, know your kids well, build up a trusting and open relationship with your children.

If you do find out that your child is abusing drugs - there is always help and hope! Find a rehabilitation center, a hospital, a church, or center that can help you walk through this journey.

Talk to your kids. Talk about how damaging drugs are on their body and lives. If they are old enough, take them to a Soup Kitchen (click here to find one near you) and serve food to the homeless. Much of the homeless population is affected by drug abuse.

Set up 'safe words/phrases' that they can use to call you in an emergency. They don't want to look 'uncool' in front of their friends, but they also may not be comfortable staying in a situation where people are abusing drugs or alcohol. Make sure they know it is always safe to call you at any time, and that you will happily pick them up at any time to get them out of a dangerous situation.

The (Good) Word of the Day

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

Drugs are no joke! We have definitely seen its impact on friends and family, and in the lives of our foster kids'. None of us are immune from falling into addiction. Don't be ignorant to the fact that drugs are readily available to your kids! Even if you are doing your best to provide a safe and loving Christian home. I shared that my youth pastor, who was a pastor's kid, was a drug dealer at the tender age of 12!

If you have any other questions regarding potential drug abuse, you can email us at [email protected]. (Yes, this is such a lame and unofficial email address, but we have had this for 13 years!)

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find us at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast. We want to share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This episode features a law enforcement officer who shares signs and symptoms of drug abuse in your children.

People often ask us questions when they are thinking about starting their foster care journey, and we love to answer them! So, when Nati and Misael Estrada asked to meet with us, we recorded the conversation so that you can hear their important questions, and our semi-important answers!

Some questions that we cover in this episode:

• How is it, dealing with bio parents of the foster child?
• What road bumps did you experience in trying to get licensed? (Our question to the Estradas. And they had a couple!)
• Why they chose not to go with private adoption
• Dealing with different religions of foster children
• How do you speak to kids about the fact that they are adopted?
• What are visitations like for foster children?
• How do you prepare for foster kids?

Some important things to remember for new foster parents:

• Kill the martyr mentality that you have to go this road alone! This mentality that you can, and should, do this foster care thing without anyone else's help will make your journey much harder than it needs to be!
• You will be anxious about so many things - what will the child be like, can I handle all of their needs, am I a good enough parent, etc. And these are common things to think about, but not worth stewing over for more than a hot minute.
• ALL parents deal with parenting situations for the first time at one time or another. So whether you have parented 10 kids or none before your placement comes to your home, You Are Able To Deal With Them. Do not think 'I bet other parents who have more experience could handle this situation'. Not true. When our first kid was born - that was the first time we dealt with a baby, one year old, two year old, etc. And even with our 8th child that we cared for - we were still dealing with different things for the first time!

The (Good) Word of the Day

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

9What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

There will be hard seasons, there will be easier ones. There will be times of WAITING (which happens often enough in the process of becoming foster parents) and there will be times of going going going. Find joy in those seasons. And find community for every season. You cannot go this alone.

Thanks so much for tuning in for another episode of our podcast! And thanks especially to Nati and Misael for sharing your questions, and your hearts, with all of us! We are praying for you guys on your journey, and the beautiful children you are going to get to serve over the years!

AND thanks so much to our friends at Tinter Health for providing the $100 Amazon Gift Card for one of our lucky listeners! If you are interested in connecting with them, you can do so on Facebook!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find us at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!