Fostering Voices Podcast

An interview with the Estradas who are at the beginning of their foster care journey. They share some of the hiccups they had while getting licensed, and they ask us lots of great questions about what to expect while fostering.

Dr. Carol Dweck wrote a great book called Mindset: The Psychology of Success, and we talk about it in this episode. Everyone talks about having a growth mindset, but how do you do that? What does that look like? And why is this so vital, especially for foster kids?

Developing a growth mindset, which is not easy, or natural. But with effort and the right attitude, it can happen.

In this episode, other random things we discussed:

Where does the name 'Dweck' originate from? Carol Dweck is from New York (is NOT blond. My mistake) and is of Jewish descent.

It is easy for kids (and adults) to have a fixed mindset, and it takes intentional language and attitudes to develop a growth mindset for yourself, and your children. Instead of complimenting children on the fact that they are smart, it is better to highlight the effort and attitude that went into their success.

'Hillbilly Elegy' by J.D. Vance

We mentioned this book (very well worth the read!) and it's such a great example of having a growth mindset despite growing up among a culture that was stuck in a fixed mindset. His growth mindset was pivotal to his success, as were his grandparents, who really helped to encourage him to achieve more than what he saw around him.

"If you believe that hard work pays off, then you work hard; if you think it's hard to get ahead even when you try, then why try at all? Similarly, when people do fail, this mind-set allows them to look outward... His status in life is directly attributable to the choices he's made, and his life will improve only through better decisions. But for him to make better choices, he needs to live in an environment that forces him to ask tough questions about himself.

J.D. Vance

Vanessa Hicks is an amazing photographer based in Hawaii. She openly shares how hard her past was, to encourage those who may find themselves in similar circumstances. Many of those hard things were not of her choosing. But instead of having a fixed mindset, and staying stuck, she broke free and has created a life that she loves, for her and her kids. She recently shared this post on FB:

I can't do that...

This is a common phrase uttered for those stuck in a fixed mindset. (And disclaimer, we may have a growth mindset in some areas of our lives, while having a fixed mindset in others.) Something we struggled with was having a 'holier than thou mindset' as new foster parents. And our 'we can't do that' attitude translated into whether we could help other people, especially in terms of serving at church. But we broke free of that mindset, and we are so happy to be serving in the 456 ministry at our church. What areas in your life are you stuck in the 'I can't do that...'?

ASMR Jerry Eats Food Videos

So, we have some sweet friends - Dee and Jerry Lavigne. They are LEGIT YouTubers. And we are actually fortunate enough to be using their podcasting equipment (for episode 49 and 50) while they are on a break from their Deenut Butter And Jerry Podcast. Jihae's 'Lightbulb moment of the week was that the kids LOVE these ASMR videos. They had never seen them before, and Cate even educated us on the magic of ASMR Soap Cutting. Very satisfying.

The (Good) Word of the Day

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8

See, we can possess these qualities in increasing measure! It doesn't say we are given a special amount at birth and that's it. We have to make EVERY EFFORT to add goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, AND love, to our faith. We have to try. Trying shows growth. This is always a good thing.

We will be having a GIVEAWAY with this episode to celebrate #50! We are always so thankful for our friends, Bekah and Kevin Tinter, of Tinter Health, for donating a $100 Amazon Gift Card for one lucky winner! And we will also be giving away a copy of Mindset to a runner up!

Thanks for tuning in, friends!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find us at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Chris Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

A review of Dr. Carol Dweck's book, Mindset. Having a growth mindset is all the rage, but how do you do that? And why this is so important to teach all children, especially ones in foster care?

This episode features our precious eldest child, Lily, who is almost 12, and has been a foster sibling since she was 7!

Some of her favorite things to do are: playing Gaga Ball (What is Gaga Ball??), hanging out with her cousins, and running with her dad. Basically, she is an angel sent from heaven, especially since Jihae hates to run.

In this episode, we also talked about:

Electives. We completely forgot that word, and it never came to us during the episode. But it's 'electives' (Lily called them blocks), and the ones that kids have to choose from are so much cooler than when we were in Jr. High School.

Going to the library!

Especially during Spring Break! If you live in our area (Chandler, AZ), you should check out the Spring Break reading challenge they are doing where you can earn free In N Out!!!! Google what your public library is doing!

Having a Gardener's, vs a Consumer's, mentality for your relationships.

(Taken from ONE, a Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans). What this means is that as consumers, we buy things, and if there is something wrong with it, we feel no qualms about returning it, with no thoughts of having any responsibility in its defects. But as gardeners, we see things that are not thriving and think 'what did I do wrong here, and how can I fix this?' This is how we need to look at our marriages, as well as all of our relationships (with foster kids, friends, etc)

Draining your pool every few years. Chris is learning about this. Jihae takes for granted that she doesn't have to think about this. But, Jihae is concerned that people will think they are BOUGIE for having a pool.

Which lead to a conversation about what is BOUGIE.

Apparently Chris has NEVER heard anyone use this word before.

"Urban Dictionary's top entry for bougie defines it thus:

"Aspiring to be a higher class than one is. Derived from bourgeois - meaning middle/upper class, traditionally despised by communists."

So in modern-day English, someone who is bougie is creating an air of wealth or upper class status — whether it's true or not." (taken from an article on USA Today)

The (Good) Word of the Day:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

This is Lily's 'life verse' which we picked out for her when she was a baby. She has really grown in this, which we are so thankful for! Even though being a foster sister can be very difficult, especially when you have to say good bye to the cutest babies in the world, she would not trade that experience for the non-traumatic experience of not knowing those babies.

Thanks for tuning into another episode of our podcast! We appreciate you listeners so very very much!

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find us at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

This episode features our 12 year old daughter, Lily, who has been a foster sibling for 5 years now! She shares the good and the hard, and whether or not she thinks fostering kids is worth the pain and hardship.

This week's episode is a book review of 'The Boy Crisis: Why our boys are struggling and what we can do about it' by Warren Farrell, PhD, and John Gray, PhD. This book was LONG and really informative. Definitely worth the time to go through. And it was written in 2018, so it is fresh and relevant, and hopefully in the next few years, we can make it irrelevant!

General Synopsis:

We are presently living in a society where we are often on one side of the pendulum. Back in the day, the pendulum certainly swung to the side of 'women/girls have no rights'. That was obviously not a good place to find ourselves. But now the pendulum has swung very hard in the opposite direction where women and girls are being heavily encouraged in every area of life (family, business, beyond) - and obviously this is NOT a bad thing at all, but it comes at the price of boys being left with a purpose void. It doesn't have to be this way, but it is.

But we can change that! Can we all agree that we have the capacity to encourage both girls AND boys to excel? Please? Can we recognize that boys and girls need their parents, and if that's not possible - they need mentors and adults who care about them, and spend time with them? And this isn't just a call to foster care, though Lord knows these precious children in this category need it! But even kids that live with one or both parents need more guidance, more encouragement, more time spent with caring adults/mentors.

What Else Can You Do?

To become a mentor to kids in foster care, you can look into programs through our licensing agency in Arizona: Christian Family Care, or you can find a mentoring opportunity closer to you!

For a very brief synopsis of the book, you can watch Warren Farrell's TedX talk here.

To buy this book on Amazon, you can find it here.

The Good Word of the Day

"But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." - 1 Timothy 6: 11-12

If you would like to connect on Social Media, you can find us at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people! Thanks for tuning in! We will see you again next week!

A review of The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell, PhD and John Gray, PhD. Talking about the purpose void that boys find themselves in, and what we can all do to help them through it.

This interview with Jeremy Sharp, an adult adoptee and foster dad, is a great one! Jeremy shares his experience being born to his 16 year old birth mother, and life thereafter. He is a successful financial planner, father to 2 boys, and foster dad to 2 girls. He can also hang doors. Tune in to find out more.

Jeremy Sharp is our friend, one of our financial advisors at Stewardship, and fellow foster parent. He started his life as a foster baby, born to a teenage mom in Maine, adopted by a Christian couple, and now living his best life in sunny Arizona. He shares how he got from his humble beginnings, to where he is now, in this week's episode.

Some noteworthy tidbits from this episode:

Born in a tiny town in Maine to a teenage mother, Jeremy grew up in New England (only reason he's a Patriot's fan. Right, Jeremy?... ) . He recently submitted his DNA kit to see what his official background is. He is hoping to be part Micmac and part Jewish. Which is where we came up with Mac Jew. You have to listen to the episode to hear this part of the conversation.

Jeremy and his wife, Grace (episode 45), started their foster care journey 3 times! The first two times were just not the right timing, and they used those times to grow, work on their marriage and family, and patiently wait until it was the right time to start fostering.

 

The Good Word of the Day:

"For the revelation (vision) awaits an appointed time;     it speaks of the end     and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it;     it will certainly come     and will not delay."

-Habakkuk 2:3

What a perfect verse for Jeremy's life! Especially in light of wanting to be involved in foster care, but having to wait for the right timing for that. But this is applicable for us all, that it is important to have vision AND patience.

If you want to connect on Social Media:

You can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!

 

We just jumped over a massive hurdle in our fostering journey, and it took a lot of prayer, a lot of patience, and a lot of communicating.

And you know this is a big deal for us, especially as we are both pleasers! (Check out episode 26)

So how do you resolve conflicts with your spouse?

It is important to deal with your conflicts with your spouse, no matter how hard they are. Pretending they don't exist only makes them worse. Or even pretending there is peace, when there clearly isn't, doesn't magically make peace appear.

Check out this episode to see how we overcame months of being on different pages about whether we should adopt our current foster child.

Good Word of the Day:

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

Ephesians 4:2-6

Humility and patience are the major keys in those verses! And if all else fails - seek wise counsel, and still try to be humble and work towards keeping the unity of peace in your marriage and home!

If you Want to Connect on Social Media:

You can find me at:

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!