Season 10 is here!

Next week, aka July 11, we are officially launching season 10 of the Unsuitable podcast! We are stoked to be in the double digits and even more stoked to share what we've been cooking up for ya.  

For our tenth season, we've decided to get super practical. In each episode, we'll interview an expert who happens to be single and Christian about one nitty gritty facet of single life. To name just a few, you'll hear about solo traveling, spiritual direction, getting the most out of therapy, and more.

You can follow the podcast on Instagram at unsuitablepodcast and you can follow me on Instagram and Tiktok at maryb.safrit to stay up to date on all things Unsuitable!

Support the show

In this episode, you'll hear us talk about:

• how we singles tend to overexert ourselves to prove our value to the church
• the social privilege of marriage and how not having it empowers us to rely on the sufficiency of the gospel
• how to really become part of each other's lives
• and a bonus Q & A segment! 

Today, you're getting a special between-the-seasons treat. A few weeks back, our producer Ashley and I sat down in my apartment with a small crew and recorded our first-ever live episode. Ashley's edited that audio, and we are sharing it with you today! 

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuiablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights. 

If you love our episodes, did you know you can get ad-free extended cuts of every episode? For the live show, this means Patreon listeners get THE FULL EXPERIENCE! Paid listeners also get to hear a sneak peak about the next season, and how we're thinking about creating community through a podcast. Join us over at patreon.com/unsuitable for as little as $5/month

Support the show

Welcome to a special between-the-seasons episode of Unsuitable. Y'all loved Jason's episode from Season 8 so much we are releasing the extended cut for ya!

In this episode, Jason and I cover: 

• navigating relational boundaries as a single pastor
• what we miss when we require pastors to be married
• how our assumptions create barriers in our friendships
• and why equating marriage with righteousness doesn't work

Jason Adam Miller is the founder and lead pastor of South Bend City Church, an eclectic Christian community known for its thoughtful teaching, inclusive vision, and commitment to its city context. An advocate for artists and peacemakers, his work beyond South Bend focuses on cultural headwaters and conflict zones, where he serves an international constituency of leaders. He holds a master’s degree in theology from the University of Notre Dame.

You can follow Jason on Instagram @jasonadammiller, or head to his website jasonadammiller.com. If you want to hear more from South Bend City Church, check out their podcast wherever you listen. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

Support the show

We've reached the end of our ninth season, which focused on purity culture, sexuality, and singleness. To wrap up this season, I have a brief message for you. We know that this season's subject matter was heavy. Maybe some episodes interested you, but you weren't ready to dive into them. Maybe you listened religiously. Maybe the one-a-week pace was too much for you. However this season met you, our goal was to produce quality conversations with interesting people from a broad range of theology and life experience. We'd love to hear what you thought of this season, and the easiest way to do that and help support the show at the same time is to rate and review on your favorite podcast app. 

We hope you loved this season's guests as much as we do. One of my favorite things about hosting this podcast is getting to introduce you to single Christians I think the world of. Fangirling them to you is simply the best. These conversations are designed to broaden the conversation on singleness. We also want them to help expand our collective imagination of what is possible for the single life. When it comes to the murky path of deconstructing purity culture and moving into a better vision of what it might look like to embrace our sexuality as single Christians, we think this season's guests make for excellent companions. 

The best way to make sure you don't miss anything, like the surprises we have lined up for between the seasons, is to subscribe to my email list, which you can do at marybsafrit.com/link, and follow us on the 'gram. 

You can follow me on Instagram and TikTok @ maryb.safrit, and follow the podcast on Instagram @unsuitablepodcast so you don't miss any updates and highlights. 

Support the show

In today's episode, David and I cover a LOT of ground. You'll hear us discuss:

• the patterns of toxicity every ideology is prone to
• why we need the passionate side of love
• why singles (esp. gay celibates) get so much push back
• why church leaders need to come to terms with the social 
• and cultural privilege they have because of marriage, and literally so much more

David Bennett is originally from Sydney, Australia and is an Oxford doctoral student, scholar, and theologian. David is also the author of the book A War of Loves where he tell his story of being a gay activist and his story of wrestling to come to faith in Jesus in a dramatic way. 

You can follow David on Instagram and Twitter @davidacbennett. Check out more of his work at davidacbennett.com. His Book, A War of Loves, is available wherever books are sold. 

Singles find themselves in a lot of awkward situations at church. When you take The Single Christian Derptitude test, choose your knee-jerk reaction to each prompt and learn your social superpower. Think of it like an aptitude test... for all the weird things people say to singles at church. Take this fun, free quiz at marybsafrit.com.

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Support the show

In today's episode, you're going to hear Zach and I talk about: 

• learning the language of our sexuality 
• worshipping and celebrating God in spirit and in truth
• exploring the bravery of vulnerability
• and the beauty of the Black queer community.

Zachary Gillis, born and raised in Northwest Indiana in the cities of Gary, Hammond, and Merrillville, has been proud to call South Bend home since 2009. After graduating from Bethel University (IN), formerly Bethel College, Zach diligently served in Bethel’s Offices of Student Development and Diversity & Inclusion while garnering his master’s degree in Intercultural Leadership from Goshen College in Goshen, IN. Zach joined the South Bend City Church Team in September 2018 and is so grateful to be at a place where he can live out his passions exactly as who God made him to be. In addition to being on the pastoral staff at SBCC in Pastoral Care and Worship & Arts, Zach is also the Choir Director at La Lumiere School in LaPorte, IN and the proud fur dad of two adorable Chihuahuas, Nemo and Topher. 

You can follow Zach on Instagram and Twitter @mistagillis. 

This episode is jammed packed; unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Support the show

In today's episode, you'll hear Meg and I talk about: 

• why church folks need to let go of our need to appear righteous
• refocusing how we use our privilege
• what aspiring allies to the LGBTQ+ community need to know when starting that journey
• how to not pass on false gospels and despair
• and the barriers queer people face when trying to stay with Jesus

Meg Baatz is the co-founder of Kaleidoscope, a New York–based organization helping provide LGBTQ+ people with tangible expressions of Jesus. Meg is a bridge-builder and ministry educator whose desire is to see people grow personally and engage locally in diverse communities – particularly at the intersection of sexuality, gender, and spiritual life with Jesus. Prior to launching Kaleidoscope, Meg spent 6 years educating ministry leaders on enhancing LGBTQ+ inclusion and care. Meg holds a degree in Social Work from Colorado State University.

You can follow Kaleidoscope on Instagram and TikTok @kaleidoscope.usa. Check out the all the links to the amazing resources Meg talked about and that coupon code. You can follow Meg on Instagram @megbaatz/@kaleidomeg 

This episode is jammed packed and unfortunately, a lot of wisdom didn't make the final cut. Don't worry though, you can join our Patreon community to get the full episode and to be a part of a community where your voice matters! We hope to see you there!

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today.

This is for any ministry leaders and/or their colleagues or spouses. For this podcast’s listeners, we’ll offer $30 off coupon UNSUITABLE to save on your registration. https://kaleidoscopeusa.regfox.com/safe-pastor-i

Understanding My Story PDF
kaleidoscopeusa.org/storypdf

Support the show

In today's episode, Sam and I discuss: 

• the unique kind of intimacy that's only possible in friendship
• what the Bible can teach us about affection in friendships (hint: it’s WAY MORE than you think)
• why purity culture is the antithesis of the gospel
• and learning healthy dynamics in our spiritual families

Sam Allberry is a pastor based at Immanuel Nashville, as well as the author of several books. He is a Fellow at the Keller Center for Cultural Apologetics and a Canon Theologian for the Anglican Church in North America.

You can follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter @samallberry. His books The 7 Myths About Singleness and Is God Anti-Gay? are available wherever you buy books. 

Thank you to Kayla and Lisa who recently joined our community. Y'all rock so hard, and we love having you as part of our community. If you're interested in bonuses such as early access to our ad-free, full interviews, you, too, can join our Patreon for as little as $5/month. Head to patreon.com/unsuitable. We can't wait to see you there! 

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.

If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. Head to marybsafrit.com/shop and get your copy today. 

Support the show

In today's episode, Christine and I talk about: 

• the difference between pursuing good and avoiding bad
• why consent is the floor, not the bar, when it comes to good sex
• our struggle to use moral language to describe sex
• and how social inequities can make consent complicated

Christine Emba is the author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, as well as an opinion columnist and editor at The Washington Post where she writes about ideas and society.  Before joining the Post in 2015, Christine was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at the New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation. 

You can follow Christine on Twitter and Instagram @christineemba. Sign up for her email list at christineemba.substack.com. You can read her writing in The Washington Post. Rethinking Sex is available wherever you buy books. 

We Don't Want The Bouquet is a guide designed to help single Christians survive wedding season. It’s loaded with tips and reflective questions that will walk you through things— before, during, and after. It’s short. It’s snappy. And most importantly, it means you don’t have to walk through all this alone.If you’re a single Christian tired of plodding through wedding prep all by your onesie, this guide is for you. We Don't Want The Bouquet releases on Amazon this week! Snag your copy starting April 12.

There are more than a few blogs on the interwebs giving tips on how singles can survive weddings. If you’re like me, you don’t just want someone to tell you what to do. You want something personalized and nuanced. That’s why I’ve created My Friend’s Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians. 

This free download empowers you to prayerfully wade through your feelings and brainstorm some strategies for how you’d like to respond to them. Get your free copy at marybsafrit.com/links. 

Have you ever wanted to start your own podcast? Podcasting is a great way to expand your reach online. Buzzsprout makes it easy to get started. If you follow the link in the show notes, you can get a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support the show. 

Support the show

In this episode, Kat talks about: 

• what led her to question the sexual script she'd learned in purity culture
• how she moved from shame and fear into freedom
• the difference between the desire for sex and sexual desire
• and what to do with our sexual desire as people who are single

Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, author of Sexless in the City, and Founder of the online platform The Refined Woman. She has also been a full-time photographer for over a decade with her work featured in: The New York Times, WWD, Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, Glamour UK and more.

We recorded this episode back in 2021, but the content is truly evergreen.

You can follow Kat on Instagram @therefinedwoman and @therefinedcollective. Check out her podcast, The Refined Collective, wherever you listen. Sexless in the City is available wherever you buy books. And you can check out her many resources on her website, therefinedwoman.com. 

Weddings can bring up all sorts of feelings for us single folks. If you have a friend getting married soon, head to marybsafrit.com and get your free copy of "My Friend's Wedding: A pre-wedding guided reflection for single Christians.

Support the show