Let's face it: The human body is at best a mixed bag. In this episode, we create a blueprint for the 21st century human body. Not to spoil things too much, but the new human body will have all the speed, agility and sex appeal of Rosie Jetson with an elephant's proboscis.

Scheduling is hard. Sometimes too hard. In those latter cases, it's nice to have some crap you recorded six years ago to fall back on.

Rock music is pretty stale, right? Guitars, drums, maybe a keyboard... we need to spice it up! There are so many other instruments out there whose rocking potential is completely untapped. Enjoy this episode in which four new tools of rock are anointed as the holy relics upon which a renewed foundation of Rock & Roll will be laid. Also, marvel at Matt's strange pronunciation of "Louise-ville".

For movie producers looking for the next big box office blockbuster, look no further. Do you want action? Do you want explosions? Do you want senseless slaughter and wanton destruction? In this episode, we come up with about fifty different fragments of ideas for movies, each and every single one of which is a work of pure, awe-inspiring genius.

There's the right way to do things, there's the wrong way to do things, and then there are... other ways to do things. Do you want to know about them? Sorry, you don't have a choice. When you chose to listen to this podcast, you made a legally-binding agreement to listen to every single episode.

Remember last week when we made fun of ideas we didn't understand? Well, if you expected us to learn our lesson, you need to find another podcast to listen to.

(please don't do that, this is all we have)

It's time to take your cash to the next level. Sure, you made your first million selling can coozies to slack-jawed idiots, but how are you gonna turn that cool million into an even cooler BILLION? Let's just say some Chinese farmers are gonna be a factor.

Let's face it: We've conquered the podcasting world. Marc Maron, eat your heart out and then kill yourself. So what's next? In this episode, we examine our highly-detailed business plan to enter and eventually conquer every single other existing medium.

Did you know that every hour, on the hour, seven hundred children will be devoured by hungry wolves? Sound crazy? Think again. The new trend sweeping our nation's schools is called "Luping". After taking ecstasy, kids wander through the woods in search of wolves. These misguided miscreants think the bites they are about to receive will turn them into werewolves, just like in their favorite books, but that only happens 15% of the time. For most of these pint-sized punks, the only thing that they'll be turning into is wolf shit. More at 11:00.

What if - follow me on this one, now - what if, video games WERE REAL. Or something. I really don't know.