After 59 episodes and two holiday specials, we figured it's about time we actually gave out some free legal advice. Take out a notebook, because you're going to want to write this shit down. The advice you are about to hear is definitely, definitely real.

What if I told you that four men talked about Shaquille O'Neal for half an hour? What if I then told you that they recorded this for some reason, and now you can listen to it? These four men are clearly doing the lord's work.

This episode is sure to eliminate any remaining listeners. Trust me on this one. But that's definitely only because "they" don't want us to succeed. "They" have already mobilized their agents against us. Wake up, sheeple.

Everyone has been forced to live with awful, inconsiderate jackasses at one point or another, right? I mean, unless YOU were the awful, inconsiderate jackass that someone else was forced to lived with. But what are the odds of that? Apparently 3/4.

It's important for children to be bused out into the woods and made to sleep in tents for a week. And if they happen to learn how to make a macramé plant hanger, even better. What I'm saying is, camp is incredibly important, and this episode relates beloved and definitely not traumatic stories about this crucial institution.

Some musical instruments are better than others, and those of us who play these blessed machines are clearly superior to the rest of you rags. We here at Free Legal Advice have taken it upon ourselves to guide you along the proper path of noise-making.

Superfans: Why, though? Could we not? Let's not.

If you are reading this, then you owe us $19.95. Make checks payable to "Slush fund". Got the check all written out? Good. Now kindly pay us the $5.00 payment-handling payment.

Without the Free Legal Advice podcast to provide guidance, who knows what state the world would be in today? This week we offer listeners a peek behind the curtain, and let them in on all of the totally real and not fake emails beseeching us for advice that we receive on a daily basis.

As difficult as it is to believe, even WE have made mistakes from time to time, and this episode will right all of those wrongs.