The Benjamin Franklin effect is where you ask someone else to perform a favor for you, and surprisingly, this makes them like you more. This goes against the conventional view that doing things for others is what creates goodwill and affection. The psychological component behind this is known as cognitive dissonance, which is when the brain is trying to make two conflicting thoughts exist with each other. Thus, “I don’t like him” plus “I did this for him” equals “I suppose I like him enough.” Asking for favors also closes the psychological distance and shows vulnerability.

Of course, we can always perform favors for people; this is a more tried and true and direct method of being likable. If you demonstrate yourself to be of value to someone, they will like you more. Or at least they won’t consider you completely useless, and that’s the best we can do with some people. Occasionally they will feel compelled by the principle of reciprocity to return the favor to you, which is the start of something great.

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