This heartfelt episode dives deep into the journey of personal growth and sobriety through the lens of Krista, who opens up about her decision to stop drinking. Krista recounts the challenges and growth that came with this process and how it impacted the relationships in her life. Krista and Shasta discuss the importance of mutual support in friendships, especially when someone makes a significant personal change. They explore how friends can navigate these changes together while maintaining understanding through periods of transformation. 

In this episode, Shasta and Krista answer the questions:

• In what ways can friends show support for someone who is undergoing a major personal change like sobriety? 
• How can friends communicate their own needs and boundaries while being supportive of someone going through a transformation? 
• What does it mean if someone’s personal growth journey creates distance in a friendship? Is it about the individual’s change or something else? 

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.

Registration for the Fall 2024 CoachingCircles is now open!
https://www.shastanelson.com/coachingcircles/fall2024

Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

Today’s episode features Shasta and three women who share one common, difficult experience: each has deeply regretted losing touch with a close friend. Throughout the episode, they reflect on the impact of these lost relationships, and share the importance these friends once held in their day to day lives. Shasta offers valuable advice on how to reconnect with lost friends, providing guidance for anyone navigating similar feelings of loss towards a once-meaningful friendship.

Ask Shasta your questions & connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.

Resource Links:

• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
  • Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle, and jealousy and envy in friendship, in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time
• Learn more about Shasta’s CoachingCircles

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

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When Shasta met Christine, a fellow author and speaker, she was everything Shasta wanted to be: she had just published a book, she’d been interviewed on TV, and she had a press kit. Shasta was green with envy. We’ve all been there—a friend has more money, goes on cooler vacations, is happily in love while we just went through a breakup. We wish we had their job, body, house, or relationship. It’s inevitable to feel jealousy and envy sometimes, but how do we make sure our feelings don’t jeopardize our friendships? Today, Shasta and Christine dish on all the icky emotions they’ve experienced and share how they’ve been able to get back to a place of peace. They also reflect on how they’ve been able to be candid about their envy while keeping the friendship feeling positive. Finally, Shasta teaches how to distinguish between the different types of jealousy and envy so that we can choose the wisest response.

In this episode, Shasta and Christine answer the questions:

• What is the difference between jealousy and envy?
• How can you distinguish between unreliable and reliable jealousy?
• How do you cheer for a friend when you’re feeling envious of them?
• How can envy lead us to personal growth and empowerment?
• When you’re feeling envious, how can you shift your mindset to a more positive one?
• Should you tell your friend if you’re feeling envious of them? How can communicating about envy or insecurities deepen your relationship?

Ask Shasta your questions & connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.

Resource Links:

• Learn more about the Inner Mean Girl in Christine’s book: Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself and Start Loving Yourself
  • Christine’s other books on self-love, personal leadership, well-being, and burnout: https://christinearylo.com/books/ 
• Listen to Christine’s podcast
• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
  • Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle, and jealousy and envy in friendship, in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time
• Learn more about Shasta’s CoachingCircles

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

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After years of friendship, Shasta and Sher found themselves in two completely different places: Sher was a stay-at-home mom, whereas Shasta didn’t have kids and was more focused on her career. Sher was married to a pastor, while Shasta was questioning church. Sher was more conservative-leaning, and Shasta was more liberal. The question arose: “If we met today, would we have become friends?” It’s a familiar experience—someone’s no longer single, or has kids, or switches jobs, or you’re just in different life stages. And you wonder, was that the only thing holding your friendship together? In today’s episode, Shasta and Sher discuss how they saved their friendship when they realized they had nothing in common anymore, why it was worth it, and the unlikely key to their survival.

In this episode, Shasta and Sher answer the questions:

• How can you revitalize a friendship that’s lost its shared interests or commonalities?
• How can having “nothing in common” actually benefit your friendship?
• Is it worth staying friends with someone you have nothing in common with anymore? Why?

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.

Resource Links:

• David Brooks’ book on feeling seen & seeing others: How to Know a Person
• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
  • Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time
• Learn more about Shasta’s CoachingCircles

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

A few weeks ago, Shasta interviewed three women who had been ghosted. Today, she’s shifting the focus to hear from the ghosters. Why did they ghost their friends, rather than taking a different approach? Do they regret it? And was there anything that could have changed their minds? In this panel, three women reveal the commonalities between friends who ghost and the factors that can lead to a silent breakup. Finally, Shasta advises on how to protect and save your relationships before they reach their breaking points.

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

After going through a friendship breakup, Shasta faced a dilemma: how would she navigate this with their mutual friends, and how much was she going to pull them into the drama? In this episode, she sits down with her friend Kat, who still maintains her own relationship with Shasta’s ex-friend. They shed insight on how they’ve been able to discuss the friendship breakup without being catty or ruining Kat’s own friendship. Shasta opens up about seeing an ex-friend move on, and shares how to deal with jealousy or pain when your mutual friends spend time with them. Finally, they reflect on how to choose the best response and minimize the fallout after a friendship breakup, and if there’s ever a case when you should expect your mutual friends to choose sides.

In this episode, Shasta and Kat answer the questions:

• How do you navigate talking about the falling-out, whether you’re the one going through the friendship breakup or you’re the mutual friend?
• How does it feel to be the person navigating a friendship breakup when other people are involved? How does it feel to be the mutual friend of two people who’ve ended their friendship?
• Is it possible and okay for your mutual friends to maintain their relationships with your ex-friend? Is there ever a reason your mutual friends should not remain friends with someone you’ve had a falling-out with?
• If your mutuals stay friends with your ex-friend, how do you deal with the pain or jealousy?

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Resource Links:

• Watch the “Surviving a Friendship Breakup” series
• J. S. Park’s book on grief: As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve
• Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

Have you ever felt like you were always disappointing a friend or that you couldn't satisfy them? Or maybe you’re on the other side, feeling like your friends aren’t putting in the same level of effort as you? This was the problem Shasta and Daneen encountered. At the beginning of their friendship, Daneen initiated time with Shasta frequently, and Shasta started to feel like she couldn't give enough back. Then, after Daneen had a baby and asked her to be the godmother, Shasta felt guilty for not being able to live up to Daneen’s expectations of that role. Today, Shasta and Daneen delve into the conversation that set boundaries graciously and allowed Shasta the opportunity to not only meet Daneen’s expectations, but surpass them. They also talk the perks of having non-mom friends after you have kids and how to know if a friendship is worth saving. 

In this episode, Shasta and Daneen answer the questions:

• How do you kindly set boundaries when you can’t meet a friend’s expectations?
• How does it feel to be the friend who needs more? How does it feel to be the friend who can’t give more?
• How do you know if a friendship is worth saving?
• How do you maintain friendships after having children, or when your friends have children?
• What are the benefits of having non-mom friends after having kids?

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Resource Links:

• Wall Street Journal: It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It
• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
  • Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

In today’s episode, Shasta and her friend Karen confront a struggle they’re still having—it seems like Karen is always busy, even when they’re together. Karen considers why she always has a full plate, and reveals the key to getting her attention and what she wishes her friends knew. Shasta gets vulnerable about feeling like an obligation and affirms the very common pain of thinking we care more than someone else does. Then, Karen reveals what strategies work well for her to maintain relationships, and finally, Shasta realizes what is really triggering her about Karen’s busyness and how they can strengthen their relationship.

In this episode, Shasta and Karen answer the questions:

• What does it mean if your friend is always too busy? Do they not care as much as you, or is there another reason?
• How can you ensure your friends feel valued when you’re always busy?
• How can you support your chronically busy friend, and still feel seen in the relationship?

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.

Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

So you got dumped by a friend—no warning, no explanation, not even a text back. What happened? Nearly 80% of us have been ghosted at some point, and while it’s more commonplace in the dating world, it can happen with friends too. In this episode, Shasta interviews three women who were ghosted by close friends. They open up about what they wish their friends had done instead, and how ghosting impacted them and their other relationships (for better or for worse). They also offer insight and advice on getting closure and fighting for the friendship.

Resource Links:

• Watch the “Surviving a Friendship Breakup” series
• Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

After a girls’ weekend, Shasta returned home feeling drained—her friend J’Leen seemed to often take things personally and question how accepted she was in the group. Again, they’d spent much of their time together reassuring her to no avail. Today, Shasta and J’Leen explore how J’Leen’s fears of rejection and abandonment developed, how her attempts to shield herself from potential rejection led to actual rejection, and what triggered her fears. They also consider how it feels to be on the other side, trying to love someone who cannot see or feel it. Finally, they reveal how J’Leen learned to become her own best friend, and how her journey of personal growth and self-awareness transformed her life and relationships.

In this episode, Shasta and J’Leen answer the questions:

• How can a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment develop?
• How does it feel to be a friend to someone with a fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
• How can self-love transform our relationships?
• What can trigger a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment?
• What can you do to support a friend struggling from fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?
• Why does a fear of rejection sometimes lead to actual rejection? 

Resource Links:

• Christine Arylo’s book on self-love: Madly in Love With Me
• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
  • Learn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• More of Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.