In today’s episode, Shasta reflects on what we can learn from our physical health to develop better social health, and how we can heal from heartbreak and disappointment to create more meaningful friendships. Conflict in a relationship can be uncomfortable, awkward, and—at times—painful. But it’s when we persist through the discomfort that we start building stronger, deeper, and more meaningful relationships.

In this episode, Shasta answers the questions:

• What can physical health teach us about developing healthier relationships?
• How do we change a friendship or relationship that’s no longer working? 
• How can we heal from heartbreak or disappointment to create more meaningful friendships?

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

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Shasta and Kim were colleagues and couple friends . . . then Shasta called her crying out of the blue. She’d had an affair, a divorce, and had been fired from her job. But while other friends and colleagues pulled away, judged, and disappeared, Kim and Shasta only grew closer. In today’s episode, the two unpack how Shasta’s personal crisis affected her friend and how their friendship survived when many of Shasta’s relationships did not. Kim divulges the confusion she felt at Shasta not telling her sooner, and how others questioned her decision to stay friends with someone who’d had an affair. They talk about shifting from couple friends to developing a one-on-one friendship after Shasta’s divorce. They also reveal how the experience helped them build their friendship now—one in which they can tell each other everything and endure any and every season of life together.

In this episode, Shasta and Kim answer the questions:

• What did it feel like watching a friend go through a crisis? 
• What happens when your “couple friends” divorce? Can you stay friends, and how will the friendship change?
• How do you support friends who are going through hard times? 
• How do you support friends who’ve made bad decisions? 
• How can you create a “safe space” within a friendship, in which you can share anything without judgment?
• How can you keep your friendships intact and thriving when you’re personally struggling?

Resource Links:

• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
• Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

Shasta sits down with her friend Valerie to discuss the time a hurtful conversation drove a wedge between them. They spill their regrets and what they wish they could tell their past selves. They reveal how they not only rekindled their friendship but grew to become best friends today. Finally, they consider strategies to ask for what we need in a loving way, to avoid hurting our friends and receive what we really desire—to feel closer to and more valued by them. 

In this episode, Shasta and Valerie answer the questions:

• What can prompt someone to break up with a friend?
• What did it feel like to be the person initiating a friendship breakup? What did it feel like to be the person being “broken up” with?
• How do you discuss friendship problems or relationship problems without hurting feelings?
• How do you fix a friendship that ended due to hurt feelings?

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Shasta on LinkedIn

Tell us what you think about this episode.

Friendships can get a little messy, but at the other end of the muck are often more supportive and meaningful relationships. Join Shasta for the debut episode of Frientimacy, as she reveals the 3 requirements for all healthy relationships that helped her and her own friends navigate conflict and disappointment to deepen their connections. Shasta also exposes the real reason we’re lonely (and it’s not because we need to meet more people!) and the shocking impact of relationships on our physical and mental health.

In this episode, Shasta answers the questions:

• Why are over 60% of us lonely, and why do 75% of us feel dissatisfied with our friendships?
• What are the four developmental stages of friendships? How do we get to the final stage of true intimacy?
• What are the three requirements for all healthy relationships?
• How can we learn from our approach to romantic relationships to have healthier expectations for our friendships?
• How are our relationships affecting our physical and mental health?

Resource Links:

• Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability Quiz
• Scott Peck’s 4 stages of community building: The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace
• Scientific American: Loneliness is Harmful to Our Nation’s Health
• University of Virginia: ‘Shocking’ New Research Finds Friendships Are Key to Good Health
• Cigna: Loneliness and Its Impact on the American Workplace
• NPR: What’s the #1 thing to change to be happier? A top happiness researcher weighs in.
• The Gottman Institute: The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science
• Shasta’s books on belongingness and human connection:
  • Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends
  • Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
  • The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time

Join Shasta’s mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. 

Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:

Shasta on Instagram

Shasta on YouTube

Shasta on Facebook

Tell us what you think about this episode.

Welcome to “Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships” —the show that reminds us through shared stories and research-backed teaching that friendships, while they may not always be easy, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it.

My name is Shasta Nelson and I’ve been researching, coaching, speaking, and writing books about our friendships for 15 years. With over 60% of us feeling lonely, and even more of us dissatisfied with our current friendships– the approach we’re taking to our friendships clearly isn’t working.

Starting on June 4th, and every Tuesday through the summer, I’m going to release a new episode where we’re going to journey through some of the biggest obstacles to our friendships– busy-ness, jealousy, neglect, hurt feelings, feeling like we don’t have anything in common anymore. But I’m not just going to teach us how to navigate it, I’m going to invite one of my real-life friends to come talk about one of those issues we’ve had to deal with in our own friendship. Yes, we’re going there. We’re bringing up hard conversations and hurt feelings we’ve experienced– first so you know you’re not alone in realizing that friendships are sometimes disappointing or exhausting, but second, so we can learn from each other as I’m going to be asking questions like “What did it feel like to be you in that situation? What was the hardest part of that? What do you wish I had done differently?” 

No one wants to hear that friendships can be hard work… and yet, much like how physical health is on the other side of physical exertion, so, too is our social health on the other side of some relationship sweat.

If you’re ready for deeper, closer, and more supportive relationships in your life, if you want relationships that feel intimate, safe, and fulfilling– Frientimacy is for you.

You can listen on Spotify, Apple podcasts or wherever you prefer to find your podcasts. 

Tell us what you think about this episode.