From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

The search for relief is always hiding the truth but that search is so persuasive isn't it? It's a human mission when we don't like how we feel seek relief. Some forms of relief are see as acceptable, like yoga, meditation and massage. Other forms of relief are not seen in such a positive light. Like alcohol, drugs and smoking. But they are all the same really. They are all an example of us trying to control our inner state with an outside strategy. They all come from innocent confusion about where our feelings come from.

But the thing is they take us further away from seeing the truth. We are perfect, whole and well but thought comes in and hides that. Then we feel thought and try to change that. Can you see the layers of thought adding to the barrier which prevents us from seeing the truth; that we are perfect, whole and well. Ironic really! But when we start to see it, the whole fantasy starts to unravel.

There's no way to stop feelings coming in even though it can look like there is. It looks like you can use tools and techniques, resolve the past or   transcend the human experience. But that's not true and the impact of all that trying is actually to stop us seeing the truth. Because the truth is that every bit of calm and clarity you are seeking is already there inside you! It's the noise of all those things you are trying which is stopping you seeing that.

TRUTH - humans feel every type of feeling. Always have done, always will. FALSE - you can stop that happening. Never have been able to, never will. And whilst you are trying to stop feelings, you are adding thinking and doing and going further and further away from calm. Once you become deeply aware of this, you will see the difference it makes.

Sometimes it looks like we have to do it all now and that creates an overwhelmed feeling. But here's how thought is the true source of that overwhelmed feeling. This week I have been creating a course but I have not created a course. No-one ever does actually. Let me explain.

I have recorded some videos and uploaded them. I have created a landing page and done some other tasks. Even they can be broken down into creative steps. The idea for a video, pressing record then word by word coming out of my mouth. Moment by moment it is all unfolding. Perfectly unfolding. Can you see the difference?

I am creating a course (looks huge) or I am taking the next step (looks possible) because it's not the task but how we perceive it which creates overwhelm.

I was plagued by perfectionism (I still am a bit really.). There's a sense of things I do needing to be perfect which can slow things down. I can stop me putting things out into the world. Maybe you can relate.

But there's a much bigger elephant in the room. The places where I think other people are doing it wrong; where other people are not perfect. I'll be honest, when I am in the thick of this state of mind, I want them all to do it my way! The I feel frustrated, angry and tend to rant! But then I realised that I am creating stress and my thinking is causing frustration that's not good for me. So it makes sense to stop.

There's a middle man involved sitting between what's out there and our experience of it. It really can look like our experience is pure. Something happens out there and we feel it inside us. That is the outside in paradigm and  living in this place makes us victims. It makes us want to control and it can be the slippery slope to burnout. 

Just remembering there is a middle man which is thought in the moment or perspective, can be helpful. It is always there, creating our experience unseen by us. But every time we remember the middle man and acknowledge their presence there is a falling back home; to calm, clarity and presence.

Have you noticed that you get over things every time. When you are in the thick of it you can forget really easily. It might be overwhelm, stress or that anxious feeling. When it's happening, forgetting that you get over it can make it worse. Because every single time, you reconnect to your inner wellbeing. That happens without fail. Your natural system is always taking you in that direction. You cannot stop it but you can get in the way a bit if you have forgotten. So maybe next time you are in the thick of it, just remembering that beautiful system working inside you might help.

You are not broken, neither am I and neither is anyone else. I truly believe this now but I didn't used. I used to think, 'There are so many broken people. How can I help them?' So when a client sat in front of me I saw that they were broken and hen I spoke to them, I heard that they really thought that too. But then I saw the truth which is encapsulated in these words, 'You are not broken, you just think you are.' Because that's how it works. Once you believe you are broken, that becomes all you can see. That belief acts like a filter.  You stop seeing your wisdom, your inner calm, your resilience and your confidence but they are still there.

As your belief in your thoughts starts to weaken, you will see it more clearly and then you can reconnect to that which was always there anyway.

The power of simplicity is something I have seen more and more over the last 2 years. Of course, life got simpler in the outside world because there was less to do, places to visit and less stuff to buy. I really enjoyed this. But my seeing of the power of simplicity goes so much deeper than this. You see, I spent a long time searching for source of my feelings because I was looking to change them and I thought getting to the source would do that.

I looked in the past mostly but in other places too but it all got so complicated. Every time  I felt a feeling, there was all this searching but now there is only ever one answer. Every single feeling comes from thought in the moment. This brings simplicity, calm and clarity.

Fear of the unknown seems to be a current issue which innocently creating suffering. I hear it expressed often particularly about the future. People say, "I am afraid of the unknown", but when we think about that word, unknown, what does it really mean? If something is unknown their is a space. But it is a space we innocently fill with what we think we already know. We fill it from our intellect, habitual thinking and old beliefs. That's what we are really afraid of. Not the unknown but the thoughts we put into that space.

What really helps is to see you are doing that.

Commitment is a word which is used a lot in relationships, in business and in learning to name but a few. But here is different question about commitment. How committed are you to what you make up? I mean the things you make up about the future, the thoughts you imagine in other people's heads and even the beliefs you have about yourself. Have you noticed that they come with a feeling (it's not nice) and have you noticed that the more committed you become, the worse the feeling gets? 

The feeling is telling you that your thinking is off - that's all! More commitment to your off thinking = worse feeling. Once you see this, it simply melts away!