Full 90 Soccer Time

Another definitely weekly look into why Nouhou is so angry and the new technology changing the landscape of professional soccer in the United States, VAR Glasses. Will Cristian Roldan need to sacrifice a migrant worker to get Gregg to play him and will Nouhou even be a Sounder by the time he plays in the 2022 World Cup? These, like almost everything else, are questions we just don’t have answers for. At least we know where Vancouver definitely is.

It's a little weird that Garth prioritizing the Cup of CONCACAF Cup means we basically field S-2 on with Leo Chu (S-Chu) but it still sorta sucks that Sounders FC have been blanked in good ol MLS play - keep in mind, still no goals on the season. Someone's got a big ol' butt, someone else with a brace, and one of us is broadcasting from a hotel room!

Normally we wouldn't spend time talking about non-Sounders FC related material for the first 20 minutes, but this episode we made an exception. Warm up your peas for your peens for this week’s question of the week, which Pokémon is your favorite Sounder? Nouhou is making three Nouhous, and Leo Chu is basically DB Cooper. It’s finally time to soccer, but is your head in it?

Need a reason to get excited about buildings?! What about three-legged horse skeleton mascots fighting whales in the parking lot? The Sounders play a real match this week and announced a bunch of other stuff too like a kit that looks good in pictures but not with your eyeballs. The Big Bad Nouhou Daddy returns to help the need-a-whale-in-the-crest Sounders in a scary airport. Scarves up! 

Careful where you point that webcam, last thing we want is a Swiss Nouhou doing an Australian Wilson. Your never weekly look into Seattle Sounders FC is back to mourn the loss of Brad Bradsmith and talk about not disturbing the ghost spirits of some dead horses in Tukwila. Let’s hope the ancient glue burial ground gives the Sounders some good juju. S5E01

Let us cram six weeks of missing episodes into 45 minutes of fun! The first 30 minutes might even be good... We need to know who you think has the best butt on the team #bestbutt. There's a new league for Tacoma, a new stadium for OL Reign and potentially a new home for Raul Ruidiaz. That last part sounds messed up. Anyway, we're back just in time for the season to be 10 days over!

We’re not in Kansas anymore, but don’t tell Raul Ruidiaz or his mother. The Sounders are playing like #HotGarbage and now Will Bruin is doin his knee surgery. The boys head north to blame Canada and show that turfboni Spencer Richey’s Boni puts it to shame. Take your SSRIs and get in here.

You may have thought we were dead, but we were just mildly distracted! Welcome back to the fun.

Some things you're born with, other things are a choice - when the two come together sometimes life gets floppy. Which Sounders FC player would we most like to see as his evil Wa-twin - hint: it's not Walodeiro. Also, fun fact,: Waluigi first appeared in the year 2000. Get ready for a whole huge bag of farts you ***********s!

We, too, understand the difficulties of doing hard work, so we feel you, Sounders. This week, Peruvian Batman and the Junior Justice League take on Jan Jose in what definitely is not a trap game where Wondo totally won’t score in extra time.