Would you rather fight 100 LAFC size FC Friscos or 1 FC Frisco size LAFC? Some guy older than Ichiro bought into the Sounders because his wife loves Macklemore, and Hodor Dame gets a new logo. It’s a slow news week, ok?

Seattle managed to claw back second place in the Western Conference with a big win on hashtag Decision Day double hashtag dollar sign, but could it have been better to be bested by Fartland and their farts?

Is Brian Schmetzer about to get paid or get let go (and do you want to win Branden’s new house)? Sounders play twice in the post-election dystopia that makes about as much sense as how they are deciding the MajorLeagueSoccerdotcom.com standings. Put your green screen mask over your bald head and dive in to this week’s new pod.

King of the Mountain Sounders FC made the playoffs for the 12th time in 10 years playing against Vancouver Montero in Portland (past Branden and Gregr are very confused). FIFA 21 is ALL OVER THE PLACE with their characters, but at least they got the neck tattoos right (and oo la la Cristian Roldan can GET IT). Also, we have a website now so @ us next time - full90podcast.com

Get off the ATV that turns into a helicopter that Obafemi Martins bought for you and listen to this podcast. Mauro Rosales gives expert medical attention, and expert medical attention is what all four of our left backs need. Jordan Morris, on the other hand, needs a rest, especially before he joins the Yeimar/Torres Megazord.

The team that once got the plagued also got stopped by corona - no match against Colorado this week means a Sounders FC squad that looked they were fresh out of dental surgery and straight on to the pitch have a little extra time to recuperate before Sunday's away match against "Jan" Jose. We have seeds and trees and birds and bees, plus, the unexpected return of our old friend - it's not a reverse-Voldermort, it's the dreaded Injury Generator *spooky sfx* *bat noises*.

Finally, this podcast is taking a stand on something: we are Pro PRO Pro/Rel and we don’t care who knows. Boy 1 and Boy 2 here to tell you that Big Boi and Joao Boy-o are going to be our saviors as Ruidiaz dips to Peru for the annual guinea pig games. Hide your wives, because Brad Evans is making eyes and he knows exactly what he’s doing. This episode is (not) brought to you by Thomas Edison Teriyaki.

Hey boss babe, sell five chankonabes and become a Yokozuna like me, Alex Roldan. Roman Torres is BACK to retain his title as biggest boi, and to defeat the northern invaders, Whitecaps FC who are Bryan Meredith-less (#FindBryan) in Seattle. Who has the best thick hot beef in Seattle?

If you’re still getting your news from mlssoccerdotcom.com, what are you doing? Tour de France, check. Sumo, check. Sumo de France, check. Geopolitical breaking news and Thursday night television, double check. It’s all here on Full90somethingsomething we should figure out what we are called on social media.