Full 90 Soccer Time

Right before recording, we said, “let’s remember to be dumb,” then we were smart for like, 10 minutes straight. We’re sorry. We made up for it with bad Chewbacca impressions. Nouhou is a New HouMan and relaxed Arreaga has way less waggin’. Let’s hope the Nico-less in Seattle Sounders Football Club can prove major league soccer soccer dot com dot com right.

Looks like the band is back together, and by band we mean two dudes who used to do magic in Utah. Fredy Montero is teaching Nouhou how to wax, Ruidiaz gets his green card, and Arreaga gets his red card (probably). TLDL - don’t be the third guy to get bonked.

This is the same episode as yesterday but without cutting Branden off mid-sentence. The injustice, we know! Anyway, thanks/sorry but what were you expecting from this show?!

This kit is #hot, it’s our bodies that are #garbage. Haterz gonna hate, but Sounders gonna cash in on a son about the history of the wars on Neptune. Look, we’re gonna be honest, we spend a lot of time talking about this wizard bird kit and a little bit of time talking about how we aren’t over the fact Danny Leyva WAS ROBBED.

LIBERTY LIBERTY LIBERTY CLAP CLAP CLAP. We finally figured out what Zulily does, and finally, a review that *gets* us. It’s impossible to tear your hamstring in Canada (because you end up tearing something else). Go get a cup of Fredy’s coffee, and listen to our garbage.

We’re back, and we’re so sorry. We finally found the megazord of Branden and Gregr’s favorite sports (and the athletes even look like Power Rangers), plus we prove just how little we know about what happened in the Sounders offseason! God I hope we bleeped everything. 

The offseason abyss is upon us, but not until we figure out a Nouhou way to make money, one suitable for your resume. We talk all the players who are coming back (like Jowel Paulo), the ones who are leaving, and the ones who are starting their own consulting firms in 2021. BRB - figuring out how to waste your time with new episodes this offseason.

The Combination DJ Schmetz House Muzik/Taco Time went BANANAS last night and we’re going to the Cup! Minnesota got all Fartland leaky in the end and Big Bill Energy took over. We spent way too much time talking about actual soccer but at least our wives aren’t mad at us!

Top o’ the mornin’ to Shane O’Neill and ABSOLUTELY NOBODY ELSE. The man who we all expected to carry us into playoff glory...checks notes… Shane O’Neill used his noggin to secure yet another berth into the Water Closet Finals. It’s a good thing he’s a big boy because that green screen jersey is gonna sell SO MANY ADS. 

We've got an idea to really anger the "football" purists that quickly gets wiener-y and then we basically spend an entire episode hashing out the existence of commentator Taylor Twellman. One of our shows got cancelled but it's not the one about ol' crazy legs - #ThatsSoNouhou. Sure glad it wasn't him with the #NouFlu... or is it #FluHou?