We’ve been practicing mandatory social distancing for years! This week on the pod, we learn about the fat slap, Branden’s Green birthday, and Miguel Ibarra learning to do the robot. Nouhou becomes the chaos and earns a point, and our Scottish Sounders are getting all the red cards. You’re going to need a fat slap after this weekend’s pie day match.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Japan found the cure for coronavirus*, injury (duty) issues are already a concern, and finally Branden can stop with the fear poops - it's a good thing because Seattle bought up all the toilet paper in the region. Does anyone need any left shoes? Bonus points if you score a goal involving the Crew Coach who smells like farts (probably). Also, how'd Jordan Morris get so thicc?

*Japan didn't find ****.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Sounders FC legend, Brad Evans, took a year with his wife to hop in the airstream and see all the parks. He's back with Sounders FC as a brand ambassador #BrandEvans and judging by this chat, he's gonna kill it. What jersey should we buy? Why is Champions League important ($$)? What team did Brad almost single handedly fight?

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

While the hype train pulls from the station fresh with a second star painted on the coal car, another season is about to swing into action in Pierce County. Tacoma Defiance look to generate a little upward momentum this season after finishing so strong in 2019. Dave is a chief content creator and Defiance stat machine for the USL squad but also is well known for founding Sounder at Heart - the biggest source of passion driven Sounders FC content. He's back and just the best! Defiantly #notgarbage.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Like that annoying alarm clock that starts screaming at you to let you know the off-season is over, WE’RE BACK! With an off-kilter star on our chest and a fast-food milkshake all over our big bellies, we break down all the new signings, sacrificing one trophy for another, and you don’t get to hear a joke about Kenny Cooper as a clone trooper! Season 3 gets off with a (grandma) bang.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Saturday 3-6p

Flatstick Pub (21+) Pioneer Square

Free shirts (while supplies last)

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Sounders will lose one player, but who will it be? Find out next week on true survivor! Or skip ahead to 24:00 as we dish out our end of season awards to see who won “Most Handsomest,” and the “Worst at Drug Tests” (really was a one-horse show). Come to our end of season party if you’re legally allowed to (21+) and beat us at games we were better at as kids! See you Saturday at Flatstick Pub in Pioneer Square.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Come to our party on November 23 at Flatstick Pub! 3pm-6pm, 21+, free games! Sounders won the cup, but more importantly, does that make them Yokozuna? We disagree about whether or not the first half was bad, but agree that trophies are good. Hold my Turfboni, I’m going in.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

The grudge match to end all grudge matches, at least until the 2020 MLS Cup Final between these two teams again. Tune into EhBC to watch the Rave Green take down Michael Baldley in the three-match. How early is too early to drink, and what infinity stone gets released when Roman Torres and Xavier Arreaga run into each other at full force? All hail both Nouhous.

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

In the least probable outcome, Seattle Sounders FC beat LAFC and Toronto dethroned reigning champs, Atlanta, meaning that for Seattle fans, the cup stops here! Pay Raul Ruidiaz every one of the Peruvian Sol he signed up for (it's a lot - like 20+ Nouhou's worth), Nouhou uses Train-volley +6 to defend the team from LAFC range attack Flying Beer Can, and we scramble for a plan that involves all of us drinking beers together before the final!

See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.