Functional Chaos Podcast

Hey Baddies!! Welcome to the Sh*t show!🤪😁

Week 3 of no Dev!!!! I know this might seem like some kind of beautiful tea, but we promise it’s not. Dev is getting hit with the sick stick so hard this season! Hopefully this is the last week we shall deprive you of your weekly dose of Dev!🖤

We also have to apologize if the audio is again a little shawty this week. We tried some new microphones that seemed to work most of the time; but as is the theme, there’s always gonna be some weird mic moment (we’ll go with that cause I can’t think of another way to describe it 😅🙃.

We talked about things that begin with the letter V; Vaginas is obviously the first thing we MUST talk about. Jade tells us some pretty interesting, disturbing, and shocking facts about sex and vaginas. While Kali seems to want to talk about how it was for the first shark week of their lives. We hope you enjoy😂. Next we talk about vision and what it’s like to have astigmatism. Can anyone relate to being blind as hell without actually being blind?

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Thanks for Listening & Watching!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Goooood Chaotic Monday!🖤

Welcome to another episode of just Jade and Kali because Devy Dew is still very much sick! She is really getting hounded by the season sickness monster! BUT, the show must go on, or whatever they say!

While following the newly adopted, random topic system, we talk about what it’s like to truly not know who you are or what it’s like to have your own made confidence. If you’ve ever felt this way before, just know that you are definitely not alone in this fam bam ma’am! Our topics just to some pretty Unbelievable Facts. Are they true? IDK, go ask your uncle that knows everything 😂, cause these were definitely not verified by any means. Kali will finish the episode with a category she calls, Uhm, what?! So there’s also that to look forward to if you make it through this weeks chaos!😅🤷‍♀️

From all of us to You! Have a fabulous chaotic week and we’ll see you Next Week!🗣️

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Thanks for Listening & Watching!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Hey beautiful handsome glorious besties!! Welcome to another week packed of chaos and talking about things and stuff and more thinnnnggggs!

Unfortunately, Dev is fulfilling her turn in having the ick, because it’s just Jade and I this week😅🥺. The show will forever go on!! 

Making our way down the alphabet, this episode is all about THINGS!  Bringing a few bullet pointed things we’ve heard or learned. Pandemic Skip, spoons in bathrooms, poop knives, SKIMS new nipple bra! Honestly, it’s more like Random Things, but we fancy and gonna put last name first. Things, Random. (It’s okay I’ll see myself out😅)

Be sure to share this episode, comment, like, leave a review! Is always appreciated and helpful on our end! As always We love all our listeners, old and new, and thank you for showing up like you do! 🖤

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Thanks for Listening!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade 

Wholly-Molly-Canolly Jade is a married woman y’all! And Welcome to another episode Functional Chaos or whatever this Podcast is. 😂

On today's episode we reminisce about Jade’s gorgeous wedding. There are some things that will be revealed to her during the behind the scenes of getting everything ready. There’s sweetness, laughs, and of course chaos! Don’t worry your pretty little heads we also cover Jade’s romantic honeymoon with her new hooman she calls Hubs. 

Please note that we do not say her Hub’s name so there might be times where the audio sounds like a blip in the audio, that’s because we accidentally say his name throughout this whole episode and we definitely apologize, but it’s also kind of hilarious!😅🤭

As always bestie, be sure to Like, Comment, Review, Share, Subscribe, Do All The Things!💋

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Thanks for Listening!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Happy October Chaotic Besties!!

Guess what!!! Jade’s getting married this week!! We are all going to puke and piss and shit😂🙃! In honor of this incredible time in life, we’re gonna talk about her Bachelorette party! We had such a bitchin’ time, from Kali’s house of games to skrippers, to dancing, to someone literally throwing F I R E C R A C K E R S at us! Just wait till you hear the night in its entirety!

It’s another short episode this week due to needing to take it easy so the bride can be as stress free as possible! Thank you, everyone, for always showing so much support. Be sure to share with everyone!!

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Thanks for Listening & Watching!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Happy Chaotic Monday Besties!!!!

We need to start by announcing that the next 3-4 weeks will be a little different from what you’re used to. First we won’t be in-studio again for 2 weeks, so we’re gonna be all cuddled up on Kali’s bed. Although the audio and visual might be dicey on this episode due to some technical errors. Then Kali will be out of town and there will be an episode with Dev & Jade! 🤭🖤So please bare with us and apologies if there are any inconveniences with this episode, we are continuing our efforts to get better quality equipment! You liking👍, sharing👥 and spreading the word🗣️ of our existence helps more than you can ever know! Thank You Babes💋!

 This week we talk about our state, Oregon! Living in the Pacific Northwest is so much fun and we truly love living here. So we want to share some of the things we love, some of the things we hate, and all things in between. Even breaking from the conversation to talk about an equally beautiful state of Washington! We didn’t touch on everything but that just means we have more to talk about another time! 

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Thanks for Listening!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade

Welcome Back Besties to another week of Functional Chaos!! 

First, I need to put out an apology for all visual listeners! We had an unforeseen malfunction with our camera this week and we didn’t realize it till we were at the very end of the episode and we are so sorry! We understand that many of our listeners benefit from a visual set us and need to apologies for any and all inconveniences this may cause. 🥺

Unfortunately, one of us was unable to be here this week due to a family emergency. We miss Jade this week, and have a surprise guest on! Karli, Kali’s younger sister is in down and surprised the FC girls with her take in this weeks episode! 

We talk about things that begin with the letter, N! Dev starts us off with a fun little trivia game. This trivia has everything to do with “nerdy things”. So basically, it’s your average themed trivia but all of them mashed into one chaotic ball! Kali ends us this week with a little game of naughty or nice. Does the game make sense? Maybe. Is it a way to see 3 weirdos talk about things that literally don’t matter in order to laugh? Absolutely! 

Hope you enjoyed this weeks account of things that start with the letter N! And episodes are always fun when we have Karli on!🖤🤪

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Thanks for Listening & Watching!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade (AND KARLI 💋🤭)

Heyyy Besties!! It’s been a whole year of Functional Chaos!! We started as 3 co-workers wanting to create an escape from the mundane and sad of life and be silly! It’s turned into a bigger vision with much more amazing people that joined the fam!! Thank you so much from us to all our OG listeners and all the new ones for sticking with us through the year and can’t wait to continue bringing wacky, weird, and unhinged chaos in our next chapter!

This week we talk about Mermaids! Because who never dreamed about being a mermaid at least once in their life right?! We kind of do our group topic different this week as we didn’t really plan anything concrete to talk about, so it actually turns into a weird conversation that goes from mermaids to mythological creatures, to marine wildlife, to who the hell knows where else it took us! We hope you enjoy this change from our usual episodes!

Thanks for an amazing first year y’all!! Love You Besties!

Follow us on our socials to keep up with new and progressing show information and see more content you can’t find on the pod!

Instagram: functionalchaospodcast

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Thanks for Listening!

   Xoxo💋- Kali, Dev, & Jade