I've decided after a hundred episodes that it's entirely unnecessary to continue doing the cute lower case internet trend from forty years ago. I'm dying. Time is passing me by at a rapid clip, and so I have no choice but to use proper capitalization. What's this episode about? Who cares, fuck you. We probably talked about sex or government stuff. The kind of thing I hear young people are intensely opposed to nowadays.

what if like computers are bad and when they're doing bad... well bad things happen! what if like it's your phone but they make your phone so that it only has pictures of your penis... so when, so when you try to text your mom it's just your penis. but, but just to be clear you don't send that to your mom, it's like instead of texting at all it's just this picture of your penis. and then when the episode ends someone dies because they, because it's too much.

i mean... i guess... you know it's not like... there's a way that... if we could all come together and just agree... i don't know, man. it seems bad. i'm not a smart guy, but i learned how to read pretty recently and the words coming out of the news box are telling quite a dark story about the world we all live in. maybe i'm wrong, but i think if that was true then almost everyone around the globe would also have to be wrong. the only person being right would then be trump. and based on what we all know, what we've seen, does that feel true?

but mostly anti-hillary clinton. yes, we have the controversial political view that we shouldn't be doing a genocide because life is already a hellscape for people with houses and running water, so why would you want to add relentless genocidal violence on top of that? doesn't seem fair. but mostly this is a podcast about hating hillary clinton, and we should never lose sight of that. sometimes we forget our roots and talk about other pointless political drama, and for that we sincerely apologize. we will return to regular programming from here on out. fuck hillary clinton, and also fuck you too.

i like to cozy up next to a fire, crack open my favorite fantasy novel, and get to jerking my little wiener. y'all know what i'm saying?? i like to get under the blankets, get a nice cup of coco, turn to my favorite page, and start beating on my little pecker! i don't think y'all know what i'm talking about. i personally love going to my local coffee shop, getting a hot oat milk latte, opening a new fantasy book on a beaten leather couch, and instantly start stimulating my three inch penis and balls!!

not only do eggs cost a damn whopping $100, but also the movies aren't good anymore. maybe they were never good, you might say, but i'll have you know... was Call Me by Your Name the last oscar movie that was actually pretty good? that might've been the last one. i can't think of another one, and i won't be listening to anyone who makes a suggestion. that director took a real nosedive immediately after that. it wasn't even his idea, it was already a successful book. damn, someone should make a movie that isn't just like, graduate level okay

we love negotiations, don't we folks? we love seeing the big orange man making hot deals with governments we've partnered with for generations. fuck canada, amiright? who needs oil, anyway? and as for mexico, i mean it's not like we need produce in the stores. we got our own produce! i know how to grow... i can grow... i got lots of different kinds of foods i know how to grow, probably. seeds? oh man, i got plenty of seeds. i'll stick my damn dick in the soil and grow a tomato so fucking big you won't even remember mexico.

whenever i think about bodies of water, my first thought is often the politics surrounding it, and whether or not it's woke to be a body of water, or is it DEI to have water formed in a particular area?

i have been craving chinese food for weeks now, and because of my masochistic relationship to my body i've opted to sustain, but also... i'm old now, the road has led us to depleted sources of vibrancy... when i eat food now it makes me fat and sleepy. i used to run for miles and miles. i was a deer in a forest, now i'm a fat guy on a couch, wearing increasingly bigger hoodies to hide my belly

happy 50th anniversary to public waste management! we've been watching garbage for approximately 100 years now, and 50 of those years had a slot for sketch comedy. yay.