Gal Talk

we love negotiations, don't we folks? we love seeing the big orange man making hot deals with governments we've partnered with for generations. fuck canada, amiright? who needs oil, anyway? and as for mexico, i mean it's not like we need produce in the stores. we got our own produce! i know how to grow... i can grow... i got lots of different kinds of foods i know how to grow, probably. seeds? oh man, i got plenty of seeds. i'll stick my damn dick in the soil and grow a tomato so fucking big you won't even remember mexico.

whenever i think about bodies of water, my first thought is often the politics surrounding it, and whether or not it's woke to be a body of water, or is it DEI to have water formed in a particular area?

i have been craving chinese food for weeks now, and because of my masochistic relationship to my body i've opted to sustain, but also... i'm old now, the road has led us to depleted sources of vibrancy... when i eat food now it makes me fat and sleepy. i used to run for miles and miles. i was a deer in a forest, now i'm a fat guy on a couch, wearing increasingly bigger hoodies to hide my belly

happy 50th anniversary to public waste management! we've been watching garbage for approximately 100 years now, and 50 of those years had a slot for sketch comedy. yay.

do you think if you added up all the times you helped someone else, it would balance out with all the times you said a slur? there's an equation here... x = good deeds, subtracted from y = slur count. if you subtracted x from y and the number is zero or negative, you can get right back on that horse buddy. start screaming it from the top of the mountain

he's doing bad, folks. he's doing bad and he doesn't know why. he wanders the halls without a thought in his head, spewing random decrees to some squire following him around with a quill. no more bathrooms! he yells. no one quite knows what he means, so they write up a bill that says its okay to murder transgender people. welcome to America Part 2. what a time to be alive.

don't take my damn birthright. hey, mr.fuck president, don't you go taking away all my damn roofers and citizenships! i gots a lot of slave laboring to utilize for mi casa, and i don't care too much about hows you're saying my babies can't be born with no damn citizenship.

apologies for my fucked up voice, but just know i played through the pain to deliver on my promise of more content. the world needs content, and i am here to provide it. now that tiktok either is or isnt banned, you're all going to need a new avenue for consumption, and why not get back to our roots with a radio show hosted by two cool guys?

pretty spooky when you think about how this is normal now. the midwest got a record amount of snow while california burns and burns. what's next? i think we should start conjoining disasters: a fire tornado, an earthquake of ice, a monsoon of... of... what the fuck is a monsoon? sounds pretty racist to me pal, might want to police your language a bit

the snow... all the blood... soon we will be buried in a mountain of our own creation. lost forever in a vortex of misunderstood associations. did my carbon emissions... when i went toot-toot in a field with all my fat cows... did that cause this storm? am i the one to hold responsible for all this mayhem, this death, this destruction? or am i, as we all are, innocent bystanders who don't know nothing about nothing?