Get a Better Handle On Life

Here's an idea that can have real impact in a person't life.

When someone says “I’m unhappy”, “I need to see you in my office at 3.00”, or “Don’t call us, we’ll call you”, the chances are the listener will provide their own overlay of meaning and start to worry. In which case, it’s the MEANING (not stated but provided by the listener) which triggers the worry.

Whatever the information the speaker intends to convey gets overshadowed by the meaning the listener imposes on it.

Now you know that, listen for how to use it.

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Transcript: How Meaning Shapes Your Emotional Life.

#tinycast #tinycastuk #findingmeaning #attributions #hurtfeelings #mentalwellbeing #personalgrowth

In this short episode, I take a serious look at how the explanations we have for other people’s behaviour can wreck our peace of mind, and our relationships. You’ll hear how a single, emotionally charged explanation can take over your thinking, make you ruminate, and turn minor conflicts into major problems.

The episode offers a foolproof yet powerful technique to free you from these distorted explanations by generating alternative explanations. This is not about excusing bad behaviour, its about setting you free from the limitations of a harmful and distorted style of thinking by developing mental flexibility. It’s a simple way to a single, toxic idea from running your life.

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#ExplanatoryStyle #MeaningMaking #CognitiveReframing #Rumination #tinycastuk #MentalFlexibility #Relationships

Episode Transcript

We are seeing a noticeable drop in standards of public courtesy. I think we all know some of the contributors, public figures and politicians giving free rein to their and fleeting judgments and prejudices with no regard for the normal rules of civil discourse.

This appears to be affecting how we, the public, act when trying to get our needs met, particularly when we are under pressure. Little thought seems to be given to some of the people whose jobs involve dealing with the public. Is it time to name bad behaviour and call it out?

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#tinycast #tinycastuk #badbehaviour #difficultpeople #trump #incivility #relationships

If you've got a single idea in your head about something that happened with another person, and it's harming you, harming your relationship, or both, this Tinycast is for you. When we can't step back from it and see an alternative point of view, and you can't hear the other person's explanation, this gets us into trouble a lot of the time.

Our need for explanations regarding others' behaviour, can distort our thinking and harm relationships. This brief Tinycast explains how fixating on a single explanation for someone's actions can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. To counter this, psychologist Barry Winbolt illustrates a technique  for fostering mental flexibility, and reducing harmful ruminations. This approach promotes clarity and healthier relationships.

When unwanted change hits us it's natural to want to get through it as quickly as possible and put the past behind us. The paradox is, though, that our eagerness to move on can make drag out the process and hold up how we adapt.

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Post: Moving On Might Mean Standing Still

#tinycast #tinycastuk #findingmeaning #dealingwithchange #transition #mentalwellbeing #personalgrowth

Libby King, a gay solo parent-to-be, faced discrimination and isolation during her journey to start a family, with healthcare professionals often assuming she was heterosexual.  

Libby’s personal experiences fueled her determination to help others. She founded the LGBT+ Parent Support Group, Bourne This Way, to offer guidance, community, and belonging for LGBTQ+ families and prospective parents. The committee at Bourne This Way is diverse, with each member contributing their own unique experiences. Together, they are committed to fostering growth, listening to members, and offering valuable support.

As the founder and chair, Libby’s mission is to help others find belonging and support on their own parenting journeys.

Find out more about Libby King at https://bournethiswaylgbtparents.co.uk

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#bournethisway #getabetterhandleonlife  #LGBTQparenting #InclusiveParenting #SoloParentJourney

Another enlightening conversation with Adele Leah. We talk about understanding your superpower, finding your voice, working to your strengths and talents, and idenitifying your tribe. There's a whole lot of 'finding' going on in this episode, and as ever, how to apply it to help you get a better handle on life! 

Adele brings some real gems into the conversation and offers some free resources too. 

Find out more about Adele at www.adeleleah.com

Got a question or comment? Contact me.

#getabetterhandleonlife #personalcoaching #adeleleah #superpower #careermove

You don't have to be an optimist to learn to think positively about yourself and the future. You can learn the skills and reap the benefits of optimism.

Learning optimism and teaching ourselves to use it by choice can have far reaching consequences that reach deep into our unconscious processes and create emotional and physical resilience. Even if it doesn’t suit you to take a positive outlook, becoming more resilient should still be of interest for its proven advantages when dealing with the unavoidable setback and adversity that life throws at us. 

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Post: Think Like an Optimist – New Possibilities

#tinycast #tinycastuk #optimisticthinkinging #thinklikeanoptimist #resilience #mentalwellbeing #personalgrowth

Here's a simple formula to help you manage the stress in your life. Stress is everywhere, we all experience it to some degree. But, although we acknowledge it and it gets talked about a lot, the advice we get is often rather banal and not a lot of practical value (slow down, simplify your life, get a hobby…).

Contours stress can lead to overwhelm, but there are simple ways to take the pressure off and build your resilience to the pressure.

My way starts with three simple questions that lead you straight into thinking about what you can do to reduce the stress you are experiencing.

Got a question? Contact me.

Video: How to Develop a Stress Gauge

#tinycast #tinycastuk #stress #reilience #stressmanagement #overwhelm #prioritising

Learn What it Means to be Free through the Journey to Realness with my guest, Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach and author. He explains why he thinks that "99% of our problems in life are caused by our mis-perceptions of what is actually real". 

We explore how becoming more self-aware can help you understand and break free from negative habits and inhibiting beliefs.

We discuss the importance of 'realness' and accepting all parts of yourself, including shame, which he says is a major obstacle for many people. The aim is to to grow and develop self-compassion, with new understanding that can lead to a life that reflects your true values and purpose, benefiting both you and those around you.

Oli eloquently describes how being real and authentic fosters genuine connections, creativity, and meaningful contributions, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling life. Join us to see why being real is key to success –because "real always works".

Got a question? Contact me.

Contact Oli Anderson.

#realness #authenticity #shame #coaching #creativity #flow #confidence