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Title: A Man is Stuck in a Dead-End Body

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 06-27-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The man says he will have to remain in his current physical situation for the foreseeable future.

©2015 The Onion (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Group of Popular Girls Reduces the Nation to Tears

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-26-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The White house recommends no one makes direct eye contact with the mean girls.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Big Sloppy Chicken Parm Hovers Alluringly Above the Nation

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-22-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Experts say the chicken sandwich appears to be about 650 miles in diameter.

©2015 The Onion (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

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Title: Congress Will Wait to Address a Plague of Giant Hornets

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-20-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Scientists are blaming both parties equally for allowing the hornets to become a dominant species.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Local Man Tries to Get out of Executioner Duty

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 06-19-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The man says his life is too hectic now to pull the lever on someone.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Condom Is Indicted on 400 Million Counts of Spermicide

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 06-16-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

[Contains explicit content] The Attorney General seeks life imprisonment for the prophylactic.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Rotting Smell in Congress is Traced to a Decaying Senator Who Died Inside a Wall

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-12-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The representative was found by maintenance crews inspecting the U.S. Capitol.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: The Washington Nationals Flee After a Foul Ball Smashes the Capitol Rotunda

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-08-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The team realizes that they are never going to get that ball back.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: The US Supreme Court Unanimously Upholds the Concealed Gavel Law

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 06-06-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The judges say automatic and sawed-off gavels will be protected under the law.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: The Nation Gathers Around the Radio Set to Listen to the Big Ball Game

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 06-02-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The whole nation was silent except for the distant crackle of the broadcast.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.