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Title: Dollar Tree Unveils Its Long-Rumored Baking Pan

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 03-12-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The Dollar Tree CEO says the foil pan will be priced at one dollar.

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Title: Half a Sleeve of Oreos Is Lost in a House Fire

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 03-11-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Firefighters have confirmed the loss.

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Title: Government Officials Warn America May Have an Unknown Number of Secret Admirers

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 03-10-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The Onion says, the US should brace itself for a deluge of romantic letters.

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Title: The EPA Announces a New Initiative to Save Whatever's Left

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 03-08-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The new initiative may be able to save a coral reef or two.

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Title: A Local Moviegoer Manages to Sneak Candy past a Teenage Usher Earning Minimum Wage

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 03-05-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

The Onion reports on an underpaid teenage movie usher that's cleverly fooled by a full-grown adult.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Coddled Potted Plant Could Never Make It on the Outside

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 02-25-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

[Contains explicit content] The Onion reports on a houseplant thats gotten soft after spending too much time indoors.

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Title: The Price of Chocolate Pudding Goes Up $2 a Barrel

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 02-22-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

In a stunning blow to the economy, chocolate pudding goes up $2.00 a barrel.

©2015 The Onion (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

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Title: An Insurance Company Gets Fucked Over by Another Cancer Patient

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 02-21-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

[Contains explicit content] The U.S. is outraged after aliens land in Italy instead of Washington D.C.

©2015 The Onion (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

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Title: Citizens Demand That Tax Dollars Only Be Wasted on Stuff That's Awesome

Author: Doyle Redland

Format: Original Recording

Length: 1 min

Language: English

Release date: 02-16-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

U.S. citizens only want their tax dollars wasted on things they deem kick-ass.

©2015 The Onion (P)2015 Audible, Inc.

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Title: A Seeing Eye Dog Blows off Steam in the Dog Park

Author: Marichelle Kawachi

Format: Original Recording

Length: Not Yet Known

Language: English

Release date: 02-15-17

Publisher: The Onion, Audible Comedy

Genres: Comedy, Satire

Publisher's Summary:

Update: A seeing-eye dog that went a little nuts at a dog park.

©2016 The Onion (P)2016 Audible, Inc.