Getting Your Sh*t Together

Dropping the first of many bonus episodes, y'all! Today, I want to discuss self-compassion because I think it is definitely beneficial for this holiday season and your life overall.

How do you look at or frame self-compassion? 

• Utilizing self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend or child

Getting sober had me stumbling and falling into figuring out who I was. I had no clue, I talked to myself poorly and it showed up in all my relationships (friends, family, romantic or otherwise). It was nuts. So, I wanted to talk about my journey (that is still going on). In this episode, I will talk about:

• Family history and how it shaped me and my drinking
• Things I would do when I was dishonoring myself
• Tiny steps that started me down the road of reclaiming me and what I'm feeling 
• Admitting that at times, this process may be lonely but that's okay! Stay the course.
• Ways you can start incorporating the threads of self-compassion into your own life 

Things that I talked about during this episode:

• The book that I'm talking about: Self Compassion -  The Proven Power of Being Yourself by Kristen Neff. (If you have Kindle Unlimited, it's now free.99 on there!)
• Podcast Interview with Kristen Neff on Therapy for Black Girls
• Kristen Neff's website

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Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings.
If you're looking for a black therapist or resources, check this out!

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]  
• Podpage: Getting Your Sh*t Together

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Hey everyone, in this episode I interviewed the lovely and unapologetic Laura Cathcart Robbins of the podcast, The Only One in The Room."

I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and it gave me a fresh perspective because similar to her, I had my addiction really take hold later in my life. 

In this episode, we will discuss:

• Being the "only one" in the room! How being a black woman in predominately white spaces led to keeping up appearances and utilizing alcohol as a way to numb ourselves and escape
• Motherhood! Pre and post addiction and how Laura learned to put herself first and why it was detrimental for her recovery.
• How her life evolved after rehab and what she does daily to keep balance and perspective with herself and loved ones. 
• Why she was called to pen the HuffPo article about Hunter Biden's struggle with addiction during the election
• Plans for her podcast, her writing, and her world!

I learned a lot from her grace and humility. I hope you will too. Please make sure to follow her on social and check out some more of her writing on HuffPo here. 

About Laura:

Laura Cathcart Robbins is a freelance culture writer and host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room, living in Studio City, California.  She has been active for many years as a speaker and school trustee and is credited for creating The Buckley School’s nationally recognized committee on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Her recent articles in the Huffington Post on the subjects of race, recovery, and divorce have garnered her worldwide acclaim. She is a 2018 LA Moth StorySlam winner and currently sits on the advisory board for the San Diego Writer’s Festival and the Outliers HQ podcast Festival.  Laura is also a founding member of Moving Forewords, the first national memoirist collective of its kind. Find out more about her on her website, or you can look for her on Facebook, on Instagram, and follow her on Twitter. 

https://theonlyonepod.com

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There are simple things to use as a foundation for your recovery and are for those who are sober curious, new to recovery, or have been going at it for a long time. Nothing wrong with revisiting those blocks as we continue to work on our lives.

Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings. 

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show

Hey friends!

I can't believe we're already at the bulk of the holiday season. Where did the year go? 2020 has been SUCH a special time.

However, even with that --, we need to make sure to check in with ourselves, especially with the holidays on the way.

In this episode, I discuss some things to take into account and some simple tips to utilize as you work through the holiday season. Whether you are kicking it at home, with friends, or solo.

There are simple things to use as a foundation for your recovery and are for those who are sober curious, new to recovery or have been going at it for a long time. Nothing wrong with revisiting those blocks as we continue to work on our lives.

Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings. 

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show

**DISCLAIMER:  In this episode, we will be talking about sexual assault and abuse. If those topics are triggering for you, please proceed cautiously.  **

Hey everyone, in this episode I interviewed a soul spirit of mine (it seems), the lovely and very self-aware Robyn Clegg-Gibson of the IG account @encounterswithmen.

I am so happy that she decided to be on the show and thankful she was so open and honest about her life and where she is now and how she plans to evolve the work on her IG feed.

In this episode, we will discuss:

• Traumatic backgrounds and how things you are taught can manifest if you're not aware or actively working on healing
• How @encounterswithmen came to be and why Robyn strives to have an inclusive and intersectional community
• What we do in order to keep self-aware and work through our sh*t in order to keep healing
• And how recovery is not just synonymous with drugs+alcohol

This episode is longer than most and I cut a fair bit but wanted to provide as many nuggets as possible to those who are unpacking their stuff and healing as a result. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is battling sexual assault or trauma, I urge you to seek help here.

Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings. 

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show

I can't believe it's October! It's National Mental Awareness month, so I want to focus on that as much as possible. As someone with depression, I like to be as transparent as I can be with all the things, especially as I started to navigate my life in recovery.

Today's episode is on learning to identify whether you are restless and triggered! Yes, to some (including myself), I often confused one with the other because of how I thought it shown up in my body. 

But friends, friends, friends -- when I started to learn myself and actively started to work on what I needed, only then was I able to see the differences.

In my opinion, restless = more interpersonal (something that is happening within you that unsettles you in some way). 

In contrast, being triggered is usually when something from the outside impacts you that causes you to go on HIGH ALERT in some way. 

Let's dive in, shall we? I will go over both, how it shows up for me and things I do NOW to circumvent the HELL out of it. Always a WIP, y'all. Always.

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What's in this episode?
Today's episode Kristen Feemster joins us on the podcast to talk about ways to protect yourself in non-diverse recovery groups and how to keep putting you first!

In this episode we talk about:

• How a lack of diversity can impact black and brown people in recovery 
• Things to look into in order to grow your own sober network/community
• Lack of diversity in recovery places and how that can unintentionally alienate people of color that want to get (and remain) clean 
• Why Recovery Retention plans are beneficial and why everyone should create one that works for them

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]
• Sign up for my mailing list!

Support the show

Hey, y'all, hey! Welcome to Season 3!!!!

This month, the episodes are going to highlight National Recovery Month. For those who may not have heard about it, this is a month where we highlight the strength and courage pertaining to sobriety.

Today, we're going to tackle conditional statements!

Those pesky if/then lies we tell ourselves to keep ourselves stuck in familiar patterns.
I've used them for years, still do and I have to be aware when I see myself going down a familiar path to double-check if I'm trying to put a conditional clause all up and through this piece. 


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And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 
 
If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]
• Sign up for my mailing list!

Support the show

Hey friends!

Received a two similar questions so decided to combine and answer for this week's episode.

Should I get sober for other people?

• You know me, I will always say -- there is no hard and fast rules for anything in life. There are always outliers but for my personal viewpoint. I will say NOPE. Sobriety and recovery should always be a choice for you.
• Can you listen to others? Of course. Can they inform your decision? Why not! But it's up to you to decide to pull that trigger and change your life.
• It will impact you the most, you need to understand your why and while others can be a motivation -- if you don't come to want to be sober -- it is so quick to back slide. (Speak from personal experience here.)

But I'm trying to save my relationship?! 

• I get that too. If someone matters to us, we want to keep them in our lives. However, changing yourself for someone else's benefit may open you up to bitterness and resentment, if you don't get the reaction you want. Manipulation can come into play HARDCORE here too.
• Also, feelings may change, once you're in recovery. You're going to be rediscovering who you are, what you need versus what you want and you may outgrow people (whether you planned on it or not). Some relationships can weather this, others don't. So, you can't go into recovery with the notion that it's the one thing that will save your relationship.
• You can only save you. You need to keep that in mind and hope for the best with the rest. 

Gotta question for me? I'm always up to answer. Email, Tweet or DM me and I'll work to always provide the best answer possible!

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And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]
• Sign up for my mailing list!

Support the show

Decided to mix it up and drop an episode on Wednesday. It's also my birthday -- so HEY, HEY! A lot of this stuff is still top of mind for me. 

With everything going on, wanted to spend some time discussing summer sobriety. For some, the summer is like any other season but I know for me, I was hella social in the summer (birthdays, being out, late nights) so when I got sober I had to shift my expectations on how I thought summers should be. 

First, there are no hard and fast rules. These are some of the things that worked for me but like most things when it comes to recovery -- it's not one size fits all. 

Being Self Compassionate!

• Y'all know I love me some Self Compassion and I'm still all the way up in that. I leaned all the way into it because I realized there was SO much that I didn't know. While the thought of that would typically feel me with dread -- last summer, I really just embraced it. Surprisingly, it was freeing! 
• You are new to all of this. You won't have the answer. Some things you won't even think about until you're in the situation. Totally valid. "You don't know, what you don't know."

Have a Plan!

• Planning is not just for trips or work. I know we all want to go out, turn off minds and have fun but if you're navigating early recovery. PLAN THAT SHIT OUT. 
• Some things that I did: brought my own beverages. That way I didn't have to worry about not having something to drink, someone spiking my drink, or accidentally picking up something that had booze in it.
• Another thing: I had someone come with me OR had someone I could call that knew my deal that I could talk to during or after the event. There's no shame in asking for help -- if you need it.  
• Also, if it gets old for you. You can change your mind and get the hell out at any time. It can happen before you attend, you know you don't want to go. Back out of it. While you're there? If it gets too much, totally fine to get up and leave. You have to do what is best for you. 

Find New Activities!

• Yes, I know we are all creatures of habit on some level. We want to feel like we're part of a group and diversifying out of that can fill us with dread. But friends, going outside your comfort zone and trying something new and proposing it to your social circle can be such a huge benefit! Not just to you but even your friends! You may end up really enjoying something that you would have side-eyed before. 
• You may also meet new people at those places and that may be helpful to you too, especially if it's a sober activity. 

Just know, you will trip up at times. You will get triggered. It's just life but if you have some tools going into most situations, you can learn to navigate. However, it's normal. There isn't something wrong with you, we all go through it. You will learn (and become stronger) each time.

It's all about what works for you, your health, your mental state, your recovery. Do what you need in order to feel safe. 

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And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]
• Sign up for my mailing list!

Support the show

Today's episode I was joined by Michelle Mar to discuss 'On the Record.' A documentary on HBOmax that goes into the allegations surrounding Russell Simmons. Just a quick disclaimer that we will be talking about rape and sexual assault. If those topics are triggering for you, please proceed cautiously. 

Sexual abuse and survivors came to a lot quite a bit during the #MeToo movement. However, when it comes to the black entertainment industry, there was a lot of silence. So, when I heard there was going to be something created around the black music industry and the women who were involved in it -- I knew it was something I had to watch.

While I'm not in the music business, I have had men try to approach and feel like they can coerce me into things that I didn't want to do in order to "gain" something. For me, it was usually career-related. 

In this documentary, we will discuss:

• Our feelings about the documentary, what resonated with us and why
• Sexual assault in the black community. Why do we have to feel like we should keep silent
• Black women and "protecting" black men 
• How assault can amplify or cause addictive behavior
• The path to freedom from addiction and trauma 

I highly recommend watching the doc. I think you get a free week trial, which I know I enjoyed FULLY.

If you or someone you know is battling sexual assault or trauma, I urge you to seek help here.

Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings. 

And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really. 

If you have comments or suggestions feel free to hit me up via the ways below! And sign up for my mailing list. I do like to do giveaways from time to time. 

• IG: gettingyourishtogether
• Email: [email protected]

Support the show