A reporter asked Trump if he’d pardon Ghislaine Maxwell now that the Supreme Court killed her last appeal, and he immediately went into his usual “Who? Never heard of her” routine like he was auditioning for Men in Black. It was pure comedy—he acted like Ghislaine was some random lady who wandered into his photos by accident, not someone who used to orbit the same high-society circles as him and Epstein. The man delivered his line so confidently you’d think he really believed it: “I don’t know her, but I hear she’s doing well.” Yeah, sure, Don—she’s “doing well” in prison. Real cozy setup between chow line and lockdown. The guy could be caught holding a selfie stick with her and still swear it’s Photoshop and “fake news.”

Trump’s selective amnesia is practically a stage show at this point. Every time one of his old pals gets indicted, he suddenly turns into a witness protection participant. “Never met them, don’t know them, wish them well.” It’s become a brand. The funniest part is how he says it with total confidence, like he’s daring the world to remember what he’s pretending to forget. When asked about a pardon, you could see the wheels spin—“What’s in it for me?”—but in true Trump fashion, he skipped the answer and rewrote history instead. Because in his world, he doesn’t need to pardon anyone; he just deletes them from existence. One minute you’re clinking glasses at Mar-a-Lago, the next you’re “Ghislaine who?”


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