G’day cobbers! Giles and Esther take a considered look at the ECB equality report; they then take a far less serious look at ‘cheating Aussie b**tards’.

Is twitter dead Esther pulls on the thread to find out. After a short break it is a whistle stop tour of Wimbledon past and present, Debrett’s guide and puppy yoga before Giles heads off to practice his didgeridoo and Esther feeds the Kookaburras.

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If you’re wondering what ‘bazball’ is Giles gives a mercifully short explanation before trying to apply it to life. Esther is preoccupied with various tall attractive fast bowlers.  

They then discuss the perfect nap, the art of grifting and the sensitive subject of temperamental performers. Giles is very honest as he discusses how in the past, he earnt a reputation for being ‘difficult.’

Giles and Esther are away next week. They’ll be back with a new pod in two weeks’ time.

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What do ‘Carry On’ actor Bernard Bresslaw and American actress Zendaya have in common? Not much I imagine, but they do both appear in this week’s pod.

Giles and Esther give their take on middle age, British AI and Johns Hopkins University’s definition of a lesbian. Giles decides to introduce Billy Bunter to cruciferous vegetables (no, me neither), and they consider if they have ever changed their own or anyone else’s mind, about anything, ever. To find out, have a listen. And if you like it, please do subscribe.

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If I say ‘the Queen’ who do you think of? Camilla or Elizabeth? Esther makes the same mistake, but Giles is too busy thinking about ex girlfriends.  

Is the Bible compatible with modern sensibilities? Giles and Esther have a stab at de-sexy-fi-ing it.

They also tackle vet bills and Prince Harry before Giles decides to see what lurks at the back of the fridge.

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Many subjects try, but many fail to pique Giles’ interest this week. Seagulls, sex lives and holidays are dismissed before German ablutions come close. Next, a motion by the always eager to please Liberal Democrats faces gallant failure. In the end it is an inadvertent sneeze that reveals the diamond in the rough…or the raspberry in the bush.

Ick nicht auf vin pisser.

Children that they are, Giles and Esther are on half term next week.

Please do subscribe to the podcast and we’ll see you in two weeks.

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Coming up on this morning’s show…. Esther and Giles make their long-awaited pitch to replace Holly and Phil on daytime TV. They prove their worth by tackling serious subjects such as long-term sickness. They tug on the heartstrings with an emotional story about Giles’ late father; they make the effortless gear change to a personal struggle about ADHD, before finally a bit of bouncy mid-morning relief as they demolish the wine tasting industry.

A minor problem with a few indiscreet name drops, but nothing some tweety birds can’t fix.

Hope you enjoy the show. We’ll be back next week with a man who built a replica of the Taj Mahal out of orange peel.  

If you enjoy the podcast, please hit subscribe. Thank you.

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Esther is shocked by a new book she is reading; Giles is shocked to hear that botox is ultimately a manifestation of a fear of death. They discuss the truth about getting old as a woman, and as a man, but more as a woman.

Finally, it doesn’t take a 1st from Oxford to know that the kitchen is the heart of any home, but it seems our American cousins have only just figured this out.

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Killed, plucked, and wrapped in plastic…not Esther’s Christmas present to Giles but the life of a farmed chicken. That is one of the subjects addressed in this week’s eclectic episode. Diets, saggy faces, a royal crush and mind reading also feature …oh and the coronation.

Now, why did I come in here…and what’s my name…?

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With the coronation around the corner Giles considers the merits of republicanism…but not for long. In a stark example of modern day classism King Charles decides what he would like named after him while others are not even called my their own name.

Seeking to better themselves Giles and Esther ponder how one properly navigates flatulence whilst receiving a knighthood? And why on earth would anyone want to dunk any biscuit more than once?

If you like the podcast, please subscribe. If you do, we might give you a free Jaffa Cake.

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If you wanna know if he loves you so its in his…laugh. Giles listens very carefully to Esthers giggles to see if she is still madly in love with him. Will a three year cruise restore the romance or perhaps an encounter with poet Alan Ginsberg? After some monkeying around Esther and Giles come to the rescue of some ramblers. 

Season 9 ends here. Seasons 10 begins after Easter. Thanks for listening. 

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