Glaswegians Anonymous

Live from a packed-out SEC Glasgow! The boys are taking the stage for our biggest, wildest live show yet, and we are joined by the absolute legend that is Kevin Brannigan (AKA the one and only Big Angie)!

We’re diving deep into the chaos right from the curtain-raiser. Darren kicks things off by finally breaking his legendary 8-month dry spell the literal night before the show (pleasure responsibly, folks), before we jet off to his traumatizing tales from the Amsterdam Blue Light District. Meanwhile, Gary takes us down memory lane to the time he got caught red-handed taking a hash bucket in school.

Our brilliant guest Kevin opens up about what it was really like growing up gay in Glasgow's East End, his "alleged" gang days with the Barrowfield fleet, and the time he got absolutely battered with a flip-flop for knocking back his ex. We also chat about his incredible Big Angie community tours bringing laughs back to the schemes.

Also in this episode:

Scheme Nostalgia: The mental games we used to play on the streets back in the day.

Dream vs. Reality: What we actually wanted to be when we grew up versus the absolute worst jobs we ever had (Darren’s hell as a tiler’s apprentice and Gary’s stint as a Queen’s Guard).

The Ultimate Question: What would we strictly not do for £1,000,000?

Wrestling & Weird Sex: Gary’s ICW madness and Darren’s questionable decision to dress up as Bobby for some bedroom roleplay.

Warning: Contains high-voltage Glaswegian patter, explicit confessions, and zero filters.Watch, listen, and subscribe! Let us know in the comments: What wouldn't YOU do for a million quid?

The big news is finally out, people! Darren and Gary are officially moving in together. What could possibly go wrong? Darren’s already planning on installing surveillance, so we’re placing bets now on who completely cracks up first.Before the domestic bliss (or chaos) begins, the boys are tackling the hard-hitting issues: * Glasgow's New Look: Why we need to bin the current city layout and just model Glasgow entirely on Boston. * The Tartan Army Takes America: Visualising the absolute carnage of Scotland vs. Haiti, and the Tartan Army taking over the streets of Boston. * Two-Wheeled Terror: The absolute menace of cutting about Glasgow on electric bikes. * Battering into Grannies: (Exactly what it sounds like, pure chaos).Plus, Darren gives a wee recap of his latest comedy gig and shares a mental health update—thankfully, his sanity is officially on the mend after the trauma of Banger-gate. To settle a debate, Darren rings up his cousin—and British Featherweight Champion—Nathaniel Collins, to get the definitive answer on who would actually win in a street fight.And finally, Gary takes us down memory lane with a brutal confession about his first DVD release. Turns out, he accidentally signed the plastic shrink wrap instead of the actual cover... 500 times.Standard mental behaviour from start to finish. Tune in!Listen now on all major platforms. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and let us know in the comments who is moving out first!

🎟️ LIVE SHOW TICKETS

Don't let Darren relapse. Grab your tickets for the second Glasgow live show on June 20th before they are completely gone!👉 https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

💛 SUPPORT THE PODCAST ON PATREON

For exclusive bonus content, early access, and to keep the lights on, support us on Patreon:👉 patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a 5-star review.

🚨 THE BIG ONE IS ALMOST HERE! 🚨The boys are back and desperation has officially set in. We need absolutely every single one of you to buy tickets to the SECOND live show in Glasgow on June 20th. Seriously. Buy a ticket, or Darren might actually push the big red button.

In this episode, the lads attempt the impossible: trying to formulate a "family-friendly" podcast. Naturally, that immediately devolves into:

Urinal Etiquette: Gary gets caught taking a cheeky glance at Darren’s local scenery.

Burger Desperation: Darren explains exactly what he'd do for a premium burger (warning: it involves turbo Gluck Gluck).

Milestones: Darren managed to save his lives for the first time in 7 months.

Gig Talk: Gary breaks down his recent gig in Kilbarchan and the boys debate the soul of small, intimate venues versus corporate, commercial spaces.

Matchday Madness: Darren’s chaotic drinking habits at the football, and the absolute mutants in the stands who think it's acceptable to scream at elite, peak-fitness athletes for being "fat."

The Target Weight: The guys reveal their ultimate goal weights (and how realistic they actually are).

Fake News: Darren is entirely convinced that T-Bone steaks are still legally banned in Scotland because of Mad Cow Disease. Spoiler alert: they aren't, Darren.

The Final Frontier: A deeply unsettling pitch for Gary and Darren to visit a nudist beach, leading directly into Darren’s inevitable career pivot into the adult film industry.

It's chaotic, it's completely unhinged, and it is definitely not family-friendly.

🎟️ LIVE SHOW TICKETSDon't let Darren relapse. Grab your tickets for the second Glasgow live show on June 20th before they are completely gone!👉https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

💛 SUPPORT THE PODCAST ON PATREON For exclusive bonus content, early access, and to keep the lights on, support us on Patreon:👉

patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a 5-star review if you want to see Darren's debut adult film.

In this week's episode, the boys trade the familiar cobbles of Glasgow for a chaotic "jolly" down to Liverpool. From getting unceremoniously rejected by a local Vietnamese restaurant to debating the finer points of restaurant etiquette, it’s a masterclass in how not to be a tourist.This week’s madness includes: Liverpool Diaries: A deep dive into the travel experience (and the unique sensory challenges of being confined in a car with each other), a comparison of Liverpool vs. Glasgow "Jackies," and Gary subjecting Darren to an impromptu, high-volume wedding band listening party. Production Chronicles: The boys discuss the heat—both the temperature in The Green Room Podcast studio and the feedback from their recent Sunday night shows at Blackfriars. Ink & Consequences: An uncomfortable investigation into why they both have tattoos on their backsides, followed by a pivot to far more important life-or-death decisions: their ultimate death row meals. Prison & Planning: If the law finally caught up with them, what would a stint behind bars together actually look like? Plus, they sit down to scheme up exactly how the Patreon cash is getting spent. Vegas Vows: The long-awaited, semi-tragic story of that one time Gary almost walked down the aisle in Las Vegas.Strap in—it’s another classic.

Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com

🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell for all the latest episodes of Glaswegians Anonymous!#GlaswegiansAnonymous #GlasgowPodcast #Mounjaro #Asda #SummerHolidays #ScottishComedy #GlasgowPatter

The boys are back in the Studio for a chaotic catch-up! This week, the conversation takes a turn into the absurd as Gary reveals he’s back on the Mounjaro journey—and we’re not just talking about the weight loss. Somehow, the chat spirals from pharmacy visits to the baffling discovery that Asda is now effectively a medical hub.Also on the agenda: summer holiday planning. From the stress of booking to the inevitable dread of the "family getaway," Gary and Darren break down the reality of trying to get away from it all without losing their minds.Expect the usual blend of Glaswegian patter, unfiltered opinions, and questionable life advice.In this episode: The Mounjaro update: Gary’s latest experiences. The Asda pharmacy rabbit hole: Why are we getting health advice in the snack aisle? Holiday plans and the inevitable pre-trip panic.

Support the Show:

👉 Grab the Merch:

https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com

🎙️ live show:

https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymousDon’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell for all the latest episodes of Glaswegians Anonymous!#GlaswegiansAnonymous #GlasgowPodcast #Mounjaro #Asda #SummerHolidays #ScottishComedy #GlasgowPatter

In this week’s episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, the boys are back to dissect the chaotic reality of modern travel and the even more questionable state of modern intimacy.Gary takes us through his recent Venetian escape, including the humbling experience of navigating the hostel scene—and shares his plans for his upcoming Swedish expedition. Meanwhile, the drama continues on home soil as we finally get to the bottom of Darren’s "alleged" appearance at Gary’s recent gig in Cumbernauld (or lack thereof).Things take a sharp turn into the bizarre as we tackle the hard-hitting questions: Are we really still talking about penis pumps in 2026? And just how close are we to a world populated by sentient sex robots? Plus, we break down the logistics of Darren’s upcoming gig—which happens to fall on the exact same day as the Glasgow Orange Walk.

Tune in for the usual unfiltered, Glaswegian take on the world’s weirdest corners.

Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com

🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous

🔔 Subscribe: Hit that bell so you never miss an episode.💬

#standupcomedy GlaswegiansAnonymous #ScottishPodcast

Welcome back to another chaotic hour with the Glaswegians Anonymous crew. This week, the ego is high, the history is deep, and the "patter" is as sharp as a broken bottle of Buckfast.

Muscle, Fame, and The Barras

We kick things off with Darren, who has clearly been spending more time at the gym than the pub lately. He’s officially declaring himself a "beefcake," though the rest of the room might have a different word for it. From there, we dive into:

• The Scottish Celebrity Tier List: Where exactly do we rank in the hierarchy of Scottish legends? (Warning: Our self-assessment is dangerously high).

• The Barras Boys: How we officially earned the title and why the world’s most famous market is our spiritual home.

The Ultimate Glasgow Guide

Whether you’re a "teuchter" visiting for the weekend or a tourist from across the pond, we’re breaking down the essentials:

• First-Time Recommendations: Where to go if you want the real Glasgow experience (and where to avoid if you want to keep your shoes).

• The Sub Crawl: A survival guide to Glasgow’s "Clockwork Orange." 15 stops, 15 drinks—will you make it back to St. Enoch?

Gary’s History Corner

Gary took a trip to the Glasgow Police Museum this week, and he’s come back armed with facts. Get ready for a double-header of Glasgow’s gritty past:

• The Thin Blue Line: A lesson on the origins and evolution of the Glasgow police force.

• The Duke Street Jail Break: Gary takes us back to the infamous IRA attack on Duke Street Jail. It’s a bit of heavy history delivered with the usual Glaswegians Anonymous flair.

Plus, much more madness, questionable life advice, and enough nonsense to fill the Clyde.

Listen now on all major platforms!

Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous🔔 Subscribe: Hit that bell so you never miss an episode.💬 Comment below: What year would YOU travel back to, and do you believe in ghosts?#GlaswegiansAnonymous #ScottishPodcast

Welcome back to another chaotic installment of Glaswegians Anonymous. This week, the boys are balancing local stardom with existential dread, questionable dietary choices, and some very sketchy political ambitions.

Gig News & Inky Bets

Gary is heading up to Aberdeen, and the stakes are high. He’s officially pledged that if he sells out the gig, he’s getting an Aberdeen tattoo. Will he follow through, or is he just "aff his nut"? Meanwhile, Darren is absolutely flying—his Glasgow shows are sold out, and his special is already 50% gone.

Health, Wealth, and the Afterlife

It wouldn't be an episode without some neurosis. Darren opens up about his health anxiety, which naturally leads the pair into a lighthearted (and slightly morbid) discussion about exactly how they want to die.

The Scran Report

• The Low: Gary recounts the absolute horror of his "worst kebab ever" from Bistro in Glasgow.

• The High: A massive shoutout to Smokey Trotter Kitchen—officially 10/10 every single time.

Holiday Blues & Caravan Life

Gary’s back from Craig Tara, discussing the nuances of caravan upgrades and the timeless parental struggle: justifies taking the weans out of school during term time to save a few quid.

Also in this episode:

• The Patreon Group Chat: Why it’s the best place on the internet right now.

• The Magic: Darren and Gary are taking to the stage together to do The Magic (yes, it’s exactly what you think).

• Scottish Elections: Why the boys are throwing their weight behind the Christian Hash Party.

Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous🔔 Subscribe: Hit that bell so you never miss an episode.💬 Comment below: What year would YOU travel back to, and do you believe in ghosts?#GlaswegiansAnonymous #ScottishPodcast

Buckle up, because Episode 36 of Glaswegians Anonymous goes off the rails faster than a shopping trolley in the Clyde.We started this session with the best of intentions, aiming for a civilized chat about summer holidays—sun, sand, and the inevitable Scottish sunburn. But, true to form, the conversation didn't stay "civilized" for long. What began as travel tips quickly descended into absolute, unadulterated madness.By the time we reached the "nutritional" portion of the evening, logic had completely left the building. We answer the question that absolutely nobody asked, but everyone is now cursed to know: Just how many calories are in a ladle of... well, you’ve read the title.Warning: This one is definitely not for the faint of heart (or anyone currently eating lunch).Listen NowAvailable on all your favorite platforms. Don’t forget to rate, review, and seek professional help after listening.Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous🔔 Subscribe: Hit that bell so you never miss an episode.💬 Comment below: What year would YOU travel back to, and do you believe in ghosts?#GlaswegiansAnonymous #ScottishPodcast

Welcome back to another episode of Glaswegians Anonymous! In Episode 35, the mood swings from absolute buzzing excitement to some heavy, deep-seated chat. We’re covering everything from finally getting our hands on the gear to what happens when the lights go out.In this episode:

• The Merch is HERE! 👕 Darren is absolutely over the moon because we’ve finally launched the official GA merch. We talk about the journey to getting the kit sorted and why Darren won't be taking his off anytime soon.• The Supernatural: 👻 Do the guys believe in ghosts? We dive into the paranormal and share whether we think there's actually someone (or something) watching from the shadows.• On the Road: 🎤 Both the guys recently performed at a Stuart Mitchell gig. We break down the night, the laughs, and what it’s like sharing the stage with one of Scotland’s finest.• Heavy Doc, Heavy: 🏎️ Gary sat down to watch Back to the Future with his weans. We discuss the magic of introducing the classics to the next generation and, more importantly—if we had a DeLorean, what year are we heading to? * The Deep End: 🕯️ Things take a serious turn toward the end of the episode. The guys open up about visitations and the spiritual side of life. It gets raw, it gets real, and it’s a side of the pod you won’t want to miss.Support the Show:👉 Grab the Merch: https://glaswegians-anonymous-march.bigcartel.com🎙️ live show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2Patreon: patreon.com/glaswegiansanonymous🔔 Subscribe: Hit that bell so you never miss an episode.💬 Comment below: What year would YOU travel back to, and do you believe in ghosts?#GlaswegiansAnonymous #ScottishPodcast #StuartMitchell