Glaswegians Anonymous

In this week’s episode of Glaswegians Anonymous, Gary and Darren take a deep dive into the chaotic spectrum of modern life—ranging from international warfare to the local chippy.The lads don’t hold back as they tackle the heavy hitters and the high-protein hitters, covering:• The Thin Blue Line: A heated debate on whether the police should be armed. Is it time for Glocks on the Gallowgate, or are we better off without?• The "Station" Experience: From the awkwardness of encounters with the law to the high-stakes mission of retrieving a Young Scot card from the local station.• The Rise of the Machines: Darren and Gary share their latest chats with ChatGPT. Are we looking at a digital revolution or just a fancy way to argue with a toaster?• The Paranormal & The Political: Do ghosts exist, or is it just the wind in the tenement? Plus, a look at "Trump’s Board of Peace" and the terrifyingly unlikely (but let’s discuss it anyway) prospect of America invading the UK.• Gary’s Personal Crisis: Between eating a takeaway every single day and a spiraling case of death anxiety, Gary wonders if he’ll meet the ghosts he doesn't believe in sooner than expected.It’s raw, it’s unfiltered, and it’s pure Glasgow.Where to listenAvailable now on all major platforms. Tune in for the patter, stay for the existential dread.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

Buckle up, because this week Darren and Gary are diving into the deep end of the "too much information" pool. In an episode that swings wildly from the medical to the geopolitical, no topic is too taboo (or too messy) for the lads to tackle.Inside This Episode:• The Deep Clean: Darren gives us a blow-by-blow account of his recent colonic irrigation. From the clinical dignity of the waiting room to the... less dignified reality of the procedure, find out if he’s feeling lighter or just traumatized.• The Private Life: The boys get uncomfortably honest about their preferred "solitary habits." We find out exactly where the magic happens (or doesn't) in a conversation that'll make you want to bleach your headphones.• The Trump Doctrine: Switching gears to the Leader of the Free World, the lads discuss the 47th President’s bizarre foreign policy ambitions—specifically, his recurring dream of invading Greenland. Is it a real estate play or just a very cold ego trip?• The Golden Arches Diet: Finally, we break down the secret to presidential longevity: a strict regimen of Big Macs and Diet Coke. Is it the ultimate power move, or is his blood type just "Special Sauce" at this point?Warning: Contains strong language, graphic medical descriptions, and opinions that definitely haven't been fact-checked by anyone, anywhere.

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🎟️ Tickets for the next show:

https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

Buckle up for another chaotic shift with the Glaswegians Anonymous crew! This week, Gary and Darren are trading the microphones for aprons—or at least they’re dreaming about it.

Here’s what’s cooking in Episode 22:

• The Roll of a Lifetime: Following the legendary Morton’s rolls saga, Gary and Darren discuss their newfound ambition to become the city’s next top bakers.

• The Ultimate Filling: We settle the debate once and for all—what is the definitive, non-negotiable filling for a crispy Morton’s roll?

• New Year, Same Gary: It’s resolution season, and Gary is already over it. He breaks down exactly why he hates them (mostly because he can’t keep them) and the boys share their most successful—and disastrous—attempts at "self-improvement."

• Extreme Diets: Gary announces his plan to attempt a 40-day fast, while Darren reminisces about the time he went full Christian Bale and attempted The Machinist diet.

• Getting Personal: Things take a turn for the "distinctly Glaswegian" as the boys get honest about the weirdest things they’ve ever had to use when the toilet roll ran out.

Warning: This episode contains high-carb dreams, low-calorie nightmares, and some very questionable bathroom habits.

Listen now on your favorite platform!

Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

The boys are back for the first sit-down of 2026, and let’s just say the festive period has left its mark—mostly on Gary’s waistline and Darren’s ego.In this episode, Gary and Darren dissect the chaos of Christmas and New Year. While Darren has emerged looking suspiciously "fresh" (leading to an investigation into his new glow), Gary is mostly just recovering from a dairy-induced coma.What’s on the menu:• The Transformation: Darren is looking good, feeling good, and hitting the boxing training hard. Is he the next world champ or just the fittest guy at the bus stop?• The Cheese Board Incident: Gary admits to polishing off an entire cheese board solo, but the real tragedy is his botanical knowledge—apparently, he’s been eating chives thinking they were shamrocks.• The Country has Changed: Gary gets philosophical (and a bit worried) about the state of the nation. It’s not the Scotland he remembers, and he’s got thoughts.• Derby Day Drama: The dust has settled on the Old Firm / Glasgow Derby, and the boys weigh in on the result that has half the city celebrating and the other half hiding under their duvets.• Square Gos: In a bold move that absolutely nobody asked for, Darren explains why he’s ready to take Amy Macdonald and Richard Foster in a square go.It’s a high-energy start to the year filled with questionable fitness advice, botanical errors, and the usual West Coast nonsense.Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.

🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

The mics are hot and the filters are off. 🎙️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

In Part 2 of our live special, we’re diving into the Glaswegians Anonymous Podcast. After the stand-up tension has cleared, [Name] and [Guest Name] sit down to discuss the absolute state of the city, listener confessions, and the kind of stories that can only happen in Glasgow.

Expect:

• Deep dives into Glasgow culture.

• Live Q&A and "Anonymous" submissions from the night.

• The stories we couldn't tell in the stand-up set.

The front row thought they were safe—they were wrong. 🎤💥

Welcome to Part 1 of Glaswegians Anonymous Live, recorded at [Insert Venue Name, e.g., The Glee Club/Rotunda]. In this set, it’s all about the audience. From questionable career choices to chaotic nights out in the West End, no stone is left unturned as [Name] takes on the best (and worst) of the Glasgow crowd.

In this video:

• The art of the Glasgow heckle.

• Why you should never tell a comedian where you work.

• Pure, unscripted chaos.

Merry Christmas from the city where the "Star of Bethlehem" is usually just a police helicopter! This week, Darren and Gary tuck into a festive feast of nonsense, regret, and questionable spiritual enlightenment.The boys start by dissecting the unique misery of staring at a turkey dinner while coming down, before reminiscing about the last-minute chaos of the Barras on Christmas Eve. Gary opens up about his newfound love for Jesus, which leads to an invitation to the (very real?) ‘Super God Comedy Squad’ retreat.Highlights of the Holiday Chaos:• The Big Question: Would Gary actually agree to baptise Darren?• The Clyde Ritual: A debate on the logistics of "bare bum baptisms" in Glasgow’s freezing river.• A Field in the Dark: Gary recounts a mysterious encounter that definitely wasn't a Christmas miracle.• Divine Surveillance: A terrifying reminder that God is always watching... even when you’re "enjoying yourself" alone.• Festive Logistics: How to rinse Costco for every free sample available to man.They also tackle the highs and lows of the season, from the best and worst presents they’ve ever received to the pain of family members not showing up to comedy gigs (and Gary’s habit of being a nightmare in the front row when he’s the one in the audience).Whether you’re heading to Midnight Mass or just hiding from your relatives, grab a drink and join the boys for the least holy Christmas special in Scotland.Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

It’s the pre-Christmas special, and the festive stress is officially kicking in!On this week’s Glaswegians Anonymous, we are breaking down the absolute chaos of the season. Gary is gearing up to take the kids away for Christmas (pray for him), and we discuss why the Christmas Market at the Four Corners is currently the wildest place on earth.We also dive into the big ambitions for the year ahead. Gary’s got the vision board out for 2026, he’s practicing The Magic, and he’s trying to manifest his way to millions using The Secret—unfortunately, nobody told HMRC that positive vibes don't pay the bill.Plus, we break down that horrific World Cup draw, the dream of obtaining the mythical Irn-Bru Carnival Black Card, and what happened when Gary dragged Darren to church.In this episode:• 🎅 Festive Fear: Gary taking the weans on holiday.• 🎡 Carnival Dreams: The campaign for the Irn-Bru Carnival VIP Black Card starts here.• ⚽ World Cup Woes: Reaction to the draw (why is it always us?).• 🙏 Holy Moly: Gary takes Darren to church.• 🔮 Manifestation vs Reality: Vision boards, The Secret, and why the Taxman doesn't care about your frequency.Grab a mulled wine (or a stiff drink) and get involved.Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

The boys are back! Darren is officially surviving the flu, which gives him just enough energy to roast Gary for his latest confession: he used to have Boobs.In this episode:• Gary almost dies on stage in Aberdeen (literally). 💀• Darren deals with a serious clown problem. 🤡• We break down Gary’s bakery order. 🥐• The dreaded "leakage" after a slash. 💦• And finally... the story of Darren and the "Turbo Glup Glup" in Amsterdam. Don't ask, just listen.Get it in yer ears! 🎧Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2

WE ARE BACK! And we are still buzzing from the absolute scenes at the Glee Club!Episode 15 is a massive recap of our sold-out live show in Glasgow. If you were there, you know it was pure chaos from start to finish. If you weren't, get this watched to see what you missed.We break down the best moments of the night, the mad atmosphere, and the banter that could only happen in Glasgow.ALSO IN THIS EPISODE:Darren makes a massive announcement that has left us all confused. He’s officially boycotted online "content." That’s right—no more WiFi required. He’s gone proper old school and admits he’s now strictly using catalogues for his... personal time. The Next Directory has never been in so much danger.Expect the usual mad banter, roasting, and absolute nonsense.Like, Comment, and Subscribe if you want more mayhem.🎟️ Tickets for the next show: https://www.sec.co.uk/events/detail/glaswegians-anonymous-live-ep2#GlaswegianAnonymous #glasgow #gleeclub #scottishcomedy #LiveShow #podcast #banter