From billion-dollar boo-boos to apocalyptic oversights, we're serving up a steaming hot mess of history's priciest facepalms.

💣 Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF, where we're not just counting down the top 10, we're investigating the epic fails that almost took us all down! 💸 This week, prepare for a rollercoaster of regret as we dive deep into the Top 10 Most Expensive F*-Ups in Human History (That We Somehow Survived)! 🤦‍♀️ Get ready for jaw-dropping facts, commentary that’s sharper than a broken metric ruler, and enough financial fallout to make your 401k weep. 😭 If you love tales of human error with a side of existential dread (and maybe a sprinkle of dark humor 😉), you've hit the jackpot! 💰 Join us as we dissect these legendary blunders, from tech tantrums to nuclear near-misses. This isn't your grandma's history lesson – it's a capitalism blooper reel 🎬 that proves sometimes, survival is the most expensive achievement of all. So grab your popcorn 🍿, maybe your therapy blanket <0xF0><0x9F><0xAA><0xA5>, and let’s count down the catastrophes! 👇

Here’s the catastrophic countdown you can expect:

#10: The Pilot Who Pressed “Delete All” — Air Canada’s $200 Million Glitchfest ✈️ One wrong keystroke grounded Canada’s biggest airline in 2017, delaying 241 flights and stranding 20,000 passengers. The software fix took nearly two days. You know it’s bad when even the maple syrup can’t sweeten the PR disaster.

#9: The Man Who Lost $220 Million in Bitcoin… In His Trash 🗑️ In 2013, James Howells threw out a hard drive containing 8,000 Bitcoins, now worth nearly $220 million. He’s been blocked by the local council from his $12 million robotic AI-sorting dig attempts. Imagine your life’s fortune buried under cat litter and used diapers while council members sip tea saying, “Naaah”.

#8: The NASA Metric Mishap That Killed a $327 Million Mars Mission 🚀 NASA's Mars Climate Orbiter burned up in Mars' atmosphere because Lockheed Martin used imperial units while NASA used metric. The error went undetected for months. One small step for man, one giant leap into a flaming crater of embarrassment.

#7: The Typo That Lost Japan $225 Million in 1 Minute ⌨️ In 2005, a Tokyo stockbroker accidentally tried to sell 610,000 shares of J-Com for 1 yen each instead of 1 share for 610,000 yen. The Tokyo Stock Exchange refused to cancel the order. Somewhere in Tokyo, there’s a guy whose pinky slipped — and now he drinks regret like it’s matcha.

#6: The $6 Billion Oil Spill That Started with a Cigarette Lighter 🚬 The Piper Alpha North Sea oil platform exploded in 1988 after a technician ignored a missing safety valve, and someone lit a cigarette. The inferno killed 167 workers and led to a $6 billion insurance payout. Smokers, you finally have a worse example than lung cancer.

#5: The Guy Who “Misplaced” $9 Billion at Société Générale 🧑‍💼 In 2008, French rogue trader Jérôme Kerviel racked up €49.9 billion in unauthorized trades, costing the bank nearly €5 billion ($7–9 billion). He was a junior trader using simple loopholes. Kerviel’s defense was basically, “I was just vibing”.

#4: The Times Square Billboard That Blinded New Yorkers… and Cost $18 Million 🌃 In 2008, a 120-foot Times Square LED billboard malfunctioned, flashing seizure-inducing lights and pornographic glitches. The billboard had no off switch; engineers had to manually cut the power. Times Square already causes migraines. This turned it into a Blade Runner fever dream.

#3: The Deepwater Horizon Disaster — $65 Billion and a Public Relations Meltdown 🌊 BP’s 2010 oil spill dumped 210 million gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico. Their CEO then famously said, “I’d like my life back”. Worst corporate flex in history: destroying an ocean and then complaining about your day.

#2: The Guy Who Lost the Atomic Bomb… and Never Found It Again ☢️ In 1958, the U.S. military accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb off the coast of Georgia. The Air Force chose not to retrieve it, calling it “safe if undisturbed”. America: where we lose nukes like car keys and shrug like it’s Tuesday.

#1: The Chernobyl Disaster — $700 Billion in Fallout and Counting ☢️💥 A failed safety test in 1986 caused the worst nuclear accident in history. The USSR’s secrecy delayed international response, and the long-term cost is estimated between $300 to $700 billion. When your mistake becomes a permanent tourist attraction, you know you’ve reached peak “Go Fact Yourself”.

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Buckle up, buttercups, and prepare for a historical smackdown of epic proportions in this week's GO FACT YOURSELF! 🤯 We're counting down the TOP 10 FAMOUS LAST WORDS SO WRONG, HISTORY GOT WHIPLASH 🤕 – the ultimate hall of fame for spectacularly mistimed bravado, awkward exits, and pronouncements that aged worse than week-old pizza 🍕. Forget dignified departures; we're serving up a steaming plate of hubris, delusion, and the universe's dark sense of humor. From battlefield blunders to royal awkwardness and philosophical face-plants, get ready to say "WTF?!" louder than a trebuchet launch 🚀. This ain't your dusty textbook; it's history remixed with meme-worthy moments and enough irony to power a small city 💡. Search GO FACT YOURSELF wherever you get your podcasts for your weekly dose of truth grenades 💣!

Here's the cringe-tastic countdown that'll leave you questioning everything:

* #10: General John Sedgwick – The Civil War Commander Who Couldn't Dodge Irony: This Civil War general laughed at snipers... seconds before getting sniped! 🎯 Union Major General John Sedgwick, overconfident and dismissive of distant Confederate sharpshooters at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, famously scoffed, "Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!". Spoiler alert: they could. Moments later, he became the highest-ranking Union officer killed in the war, proving bullets have zero respect for rank or punchlines. File under: Poorly Timed Confidence.

* #9: Marie Antoinette – Queen of Cake and Clumsiness: Her last words weren't "Let Them Eat Cake" (she probably never said that anyway), they were an awkward apology! 👑 On her way to the guillotine during the Reign of Terror, the former Queen of France accidentally stepped on her executioner's foot and politely said, "Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès." ["Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose."]. Talk about a royally awkward exit! It’s peak politeness before the ultimate haircut 💇‍♀️. Etiquette Score: 💯

* #8: James French – The Killer Who Knew His Headlines: This death row inmate's last words were a sick burn on journalism! 🔥 Facing the electric chair in 1966, convicted murderer James D. French delivered a pun so dark it's almost brilliant: "How's this for a headline? 'French Fries'.". He basically wrote his own morbidly funny epitaph, ensuring his execution would be remembered with a grim chuckle 😬. We now interrupt your regularly scheduled dignity for this moment of historical awkwardness.

* #7: Voltaire – The Philosopher Who Picked a Bad Time for Atheism: Voltaire spent his life mocking religion, then a priest showed up... and he hedged his bets like a boss! 🤔 The Enlightenment philosopher, a fierce critic of the Church, was reportedly urged by a priest on his deathbed to renounce Satan. Voltaire's alleged reply? "Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.". Even the most ardent skeptics might get a little twitchy when facing the great unknown 👻. Maybe he wanted to keep his options open for the afterlife's networking opportunities.

* #6: Lytton Strachey – The Bloomsbury Wit Who Faced a Final Fact-Check: This famous biographer's last words were a brutal self-own! Ouch. 💔 Known for his sharp and witty biographies, Strachey's dying realization was a simple, bleak dismissal of death itself. He reportedly said, looking around at his Bloomsbury pals, "If this is dying, then I don't think much of it.". For a man who spent his life dissecting others, his own demise earned a resounding "meh" 😒. Even death couldn't escape a bad review from Strachey.

* #5: Emperor Vespasian – The Roman Ruler Who Died Laughing (at Himself): This Roman Emperor cracked a joke about becoming a god... as he died! 😂 Known for his pragmatism and earthy humor, Vespasian, feeling his end near (and possibly experiencing severe diarrhea), quipped in Latin, "Vae, puto deus fio." ["Woe is me, I think I'm becoming a god."]. It's imperial self-deprecation at its finest, acknowledging the Roman tradition of deifying emperors while probably just feeling really unwell 🤢. And the Universe replied: 'Hold my beer.'

* #4: Nostradamus – The Seer Who Couldn’t See His Own Slippers: Nostradamus predicted centuries of chaos, but botched his own bedtime! 🛌 The famous prophet accurately foresaw his own death the night before it happened. His last recorded words to his secretary? "You will not find me alive at sunrise.". Spot on! But compared to foreseeing global events, it's like predicting rain when you're already standing in a puddle 🌧️. Turns out predicting your own death from gout is easier than predicting lottery numbers.

* #3: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – The Creator of Sherlock Who Got Duped by Fairies: Sherlock Holmes’ dad died believing in fairies... and his last words proved it! ✨ The brilliant mind behind the ultimate rationalist, Sherlock Holmes, became a fervent believer in Spiritualism and fairies in his later years. His final words to his wife were a sweet but mystically-tinged "You are wonderful.". Given his unwavering belief in the Cottingley Fairies (spoiler: they were fake!), it's often interpreted through his spiritualist lens. Elementary, my dear Watson? Not quite 🤦‍♂️.

* #2: Grigori Rasputin – The Mad Monk Who Just. Wouldn’t. Die. (Allegedly): Rasputin was poisoned, shot, beaten & drowned... but did he predict his killers’ doom?! 🔮 While his actual last words are lost to the bizarre chaos of his murder, a prophecy attributed to him chillingly predicted that if he was killed by nobles, the Tsar's family would be murdered by the Russian people within two years – which is exactly what happened 💥. Talk about a terrifyingly accurate "I told you so" from beyond the grave 💀🌊. Rasputin: Russia's original 'This meeting could have been an email (predicting your doom)' guy.

* #1: King Charles II of England – The Merry Monarch’s Apology for Taking Too Long to Die: This King’s dying words were basically "Sorry for the inconvenience!" 😂 The "Merry Monarch," known for his hedonistic court, faced his final moments with surprising politeness. Looking at the worried faces around his deathbed, he reportedly said, "I have been a most unconscionable time a-dying, but I beg you to excuse it.". It's the most British, most anticlimactic, and most hilariously understated royal exit imaginable 👑🇬🇧. The original 'Sorry, my bad' exit strategy.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Get ready to face-palm through the ages with GO FACT YOURSELF! 🤯 This week, we're diving headfirst into the historical hall of shame with "Top 10 Times History Got Drunk and Hit ‘Send’" 🍻📜. Forget polite society; we're unearthing the moments when emperors, artists, and even entire nations went full-on blackout mode and YOLO'd their way into the history books. Prepare for a rollercoaster of ridiculousness, from papal post-mortem smackdowns to bunny rabbit rebellions! 🎢😂 You won't believe your eyeballs 👀 at this countdown of historical chaos gremlins. It’s history, but make it messy! #HistoryFail #DrunkHistory #WTFHistory #GOFACTYOURSELF #Podcast #Top10 #Comedy #FactsandLaughs

Here’s the insane itinerary of our historical bender:

#10: The Pope Who Dug Up a Corpse Just to Yell at It 🧟🗣️. In 897 AD, Pope Stephen VI, feeling insecure AF about his legitimacy, decided therapy was for chumps. Instead, he exhumed his predecessor, Pope Formosus, dressed the rotting corpse in papal robes, put him on trial (the Cadaver Synod!), and literally screamed accusations at him. The jaw-dropping verdict? Guilty of perjury! 😱 Formosus's papal threads were ripped off, three fingers were chopped off, and his body was tossed into the Tiber River. Apparently, this is technically legal precedent somewhere in the Vatican archives. Even medieval Europeans thought this was "a bit much". Pope Stephen VI later met a karmic end – imprisonment and strangulation. GO FACT Commentary: Catholic guilt meets Roman drama in a power-tripping weekend bender – it’s like undead, Catholic Judge Judy. Sources include Eamon Duffy's Saints and Sinners, "The Cadaver Synod: Strangest Trial in History?" from JSTOR Daily, and the surprisingly relevant Reddit r/AskHistorians (u/CorpseTrialEnthusiast).

#9: That Time Napoleon Was Attacked by a Horde of Bunnies 🐰🥕💨. Fresh off signing a treaty, Napoleon Bonaparte thought a rabbit hunt would be a chill way to celebrate. Big mistake. Hundreds of farm-bred bunnies, mistaking humans for walking salad bars, charged at Napoleon and his men. They swarmed, they climbed, they forced the French Emperor to flee in his carriage like a Disney villain getting his fluffy comeuppance. His chief of staff accidentally ordered tame rabbits who associated humans with endless food. Witnesses say Napoleon went from laughing to screaming to retreating faster than France in a snowball fight. It’s one of the rare times "French retreat" was courtesy of the Easter Bunny’s vengeance. GO FACT Commentary: Imagine being the most powerful dude in Europe and losing to a salad-powered stampede. Elmer Fudd would be ashamed. Sources: Ida Tarbell’s “The Bunny Offensive” in Napoleonic Anecdotes (1905), Mental Floss's "That Time Napoleon Lost to Rabbits," and letters from General Alexandre Berthier (archive.fr/BNP-bunny, 1807).

#8: The Time A Medieval King Ordered His Entire Army to Get Drunk Before Battle 🍷⚔️😵‍💫. In 1066, before the epic Battle of Hastings, King Harold II of England decided his troops needed liquid courage… lots of it! Legend says he ordered his army to guzzle massive amounts of mead and ale before charging into battle. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end with a victory jig. Some accounts claim the hammered English soldiers couldn’t even form a proper battle line, charging the wrong enemy or just fighting each other. Beer goggles: now a military strategy! Harold, a man of action and questionable decisions, apparently thought a drunken Saxon charge was a winning move. Meanwhile, Duke William's Norman army was sober, rested, and tactically superior. Despite the boozy chaos, Harold put up a fight but ultimately lost the battle (and his throne) after getting an arrow to the eye. GO FACT Commentary: "Pre-gaming" a war? Bold move. Free tip: drunken brawls rarely win battles. Except maybe for William the Conqueror, who probably had a sneaky flask. Sources: David Bates’s The Battle of Hastings: A New History, "King Harold's Disastrous Mead-Fueled Fiasco" from Ancient Military Struggles Journal, and the surprisingly immersive Medieval Battle Reenactment Archives.

#7: The Pharaoh Who Thought He Was a God — And Made Everyone Believe Him 👑☀️💪. Pharaoh Amenhotep IV, aka Akhenaten, took the "divine ruler" thing to a whole new level. Not content with just being king, he declared himself the physical manifestation of Aten, the sun disk god. And the ancient Egyptians… mostly went with it. Akhenaten’s religious revolution involved destroying temples of old gods and replacing them with Aten-only shrines (worship Aten or GTFO!). The real kicker? He’d stroll around shirtless, flexing his divine physique for all to see. This attention-seeking pharaoh dismantled centuries of Egyptian polytheism, built a new capital (Akhetaten), and demanded everyone worship the sun disk – no room for the OG deities. Predictably, the old priests weren’t thrilled. Still, Akhenaten’s followers complied, mostly out of fear (and maybe because he controlled the sun… for a while). After his death, Egypt threw a massive tantrum and went back to its polytheistic roots. Even his son, Tutankhamun, was like, “Nah, Dad’s weird,” and brought back the chill vibes. GO FACT Commentary: Akhenaten somehow pulled off being a living god – imagine the Instagram filter! Only in ancient Egypt could you get away with shirtless public flexing and claiming solar-powered abs. Sources: Richard H. Wilkinson's The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt, "Akhenaten: The Pharaoh Who Took His God Complex Too Far" from JSTOR Ancient History Archives, and National Geographic's "The Secret Life of Pharaoh Akhenaten".

#6: The Time an Entire City Was ‘Invaded’ by a Single Man in a Mask 🎭💰🚶‍♂️. In 1920s Germany, during the Weimar Republic chaos, a mysterious figure known only as The Masked Bandit pulled off a heist so smooth it was practically performance art. Wearing just a mask and a long coat, he waltzed into a town’s vault, stuffed his coat with millions in marks, and calmly strolled out, vanishing without a trace. Authorities were utterly baffled, unable to even track his footsteps. Who needs a criminal empire when you’ve got a killer mask and unstoppable swagger? The Masked Bandit became a folk hero for a hot minute. No sneaking, no gang – just pure audacity. His identity remains a mystery, turning him from hero to ghost overnight. His simple yet elegant approach terrified the authorities – the James Bond of bank robbers, minus the world-saving and plus a whole lot of gold-grabbing. The whole city felt pranked by this masked maestro, proving you don’t need a foolproof plan, just unshakeable nerve. GO FACT Commentary: Too perfect! A masked dude struts in, grabs the loot, struts out, and vanishes. The police’s plan? An APB for "man in a mask"? Classic. Top-tier performance art. Sources: Klaus Schwartzkopf's The Great Heists of the 20th Century, “The Masked Bandit: Germany’s Greatest Heist” from Weimar Historical Society Journal, and Reddit r/HistoryofCrime (u/BanditAndTheVault).

#5: The Emperor Who Got a ‘Divine’ Tattoo of His Own Face… On His Own Face 👑✍️🤳. In 98 AD, Emperor Trajan of Rome, already a legend for his military wins and public projects, took his ego for a permanent joyride: he tattooed his own face on his own face. And guess what? He was PROUD of it. Forget subtle ink; Trajan sported his portrait right on his cheek, rocking his own mug at meetings and public appearances. Just in case anyone forgot who was running the show. Trajan, who expanded the Roman Empire to its peak, clearly had personal pride to match his military victories. This wasn't just vanity; it was his way of flexing his living god status. Who needs coins when you can wear your own face like an imperial stamp of approval? While thankfully no other emperor copied this bold (and slightly bonkers) move, his ego became legendary. Man of the people? Sure, with a face that literally stared back at you, reminding you who was in charge. Debate rages: permanent or temporary? Either way, a power move for the ages. GO FACT Commentary: Why bother with a painting when you can just BE the walking, talking (and tattooed) reminder of your own greatness? It's like a facial billboard declaring, “I am Rome”. If you’re not inking your own face as a political statement, are you even leading? Sources: Pliny the Younger's The Life of Trajan, “When Emperors Got More Than Just Statues” from Ancient Rome Today, and "Roman Tattoos: Power, Pride, and Public Image" from JSTOR Ancient Civilizations Journal.

#4: The 18th-Century "Swedish King" Who Had a Party So Wild It Was Declared a National Disaster 🎉🏰💥. King Gustav III of Sweden threw a royal rager in 1772 that went so off the rails it earned the official title of "national disaster". This "gala" was a glorious mess of chaos, drunkenness, and violence, leaving a not-so-fond memory in Swedish history. The party was meant to showcase the king's power and reassert control over the nobility, but by closing time, it was more like a Game of Thrones banquet meets a full-scale riot. Furniture got trashed, people got trashed (literally and figuratively), and Gustav’s grand plan backfired spectacularly when his own nobles started plotting against him mid-party. The night culminated in the king getting shot in the back at his own bash, eventually succumbing to his wounds months later. Gustav wanted to remind everyone he was THE KING with an over-the-top extravaganza. He invited political rivals and nobles, many of whom got drunk enough to think regicide was a solid after-party activity. The whole night, designed to highlight the king's progressive ideas, devolved into a violent free-for-all with fistfights, broken glass, and widespread bewilderment. The assassination plot was hatched by his own court members, leaving the king bleeding and betrayed. The party's epic failure fueled political instability in Sweden, forever linking the king to bizarre and tragic history. Sometimes, the worst party favor is getting shot by your own guests. GO FACT Commentary: How bad do you have to screw up a party to have it declared a "national disaster"? Even Gatsby would say, "Tone it down, dude". Someone should have advised Gustav: stick to the snacks, minimize the gunshots. Sources: Carl Fredrik Kjöberg's The History of the Swedish Monarchy, “The Midnight Masquerade: How Sweden’s King Was Assassinated” from Scandinavian History Today, and incident reports from the Swedish Royal Archives (1772).

#3: The Time a Samurai’s Dead Body Was Used As a Weapon ⚔️💀🤯. In 1400s Japan, a deceased samurai’s corpse became the ultimate weapon in a display of next-level loyalty. After samurai warrior Kusunoki Masashige died in battle, his devoted followers didn’t just mourn; they lugged his body to the next fight, propped him up, and pretended he was still alive while unleashing arrows and war cries. Their goal? To terrify their enemies with the legend of a ghost warrior who fights even from beyond the grave. Kusunoki Masashige was the epitome of a loyal samurai, fighting to his dying breath for his lord. His warriors, seeing him as a symbol of unwavering loyalty, refused to let his spirit (or body) rest. They turned his corpse into a terrifyingly effective psychological weapon. Imagine the enemy’s confusion: "Is that a dead guy… wielding a bow?!" Historians suggest this bizarre tactic had a massive impact on enemy morale. Kusunoki’s body became a potent symbol of the samurai’s untouchable will. GO FACT Commentary: Talk about dedication! Nothing says "don't mess with us" like a literal example of undying loyalty… especially when it’s aiming an arrow at your face. It’s the OG “revenge is a dish best served cold”… with a side of rigor mortis. Sources: Inazo Nitobe's The Way of the Samurai, “When Dead Bodies Were Battle Tactics in Feudal Japan” from Japanese History Journal, and The Ghost Warrior Chronicles from Kyoto National Museum.

#2: The Time a Renaissance Artist Stabbed a Man to Prove His Art Was “Alive” 🎨🔪🎾. Renaissance rockstar (and notorious hothead) Caravaggio wasn’t just famous for his groundbreaking paintings; he was equally known for his explosive temper and talent for stabbing people. One fateful night, he took the concept of "living art" to a disturbingly literal level by attacking a man with a dagger over… a tennis match. Yes, you read that right: TENNIS. The stabbing was so brutal that Caravaggio had to flee Rome, leaving masterpieces unfinished. Apparently, in the 1500s, post-tennis match rage was best dealt with via dagger. Caravaggio’s genius was matched only by his chaotic nature. He had a temper, a blade, and zero hesitation in using both. This wasn’t a minor scuffle; the attack nearly killed the guy, and Caravaggio’s violent tendencies meant he was always one bad argument away from skipping town. His art was all about dramatic light and shadow, but his life was filled with actual darkness. He channeled his rage into his work, giving his paintings a raw, visceral "life" that few others dared to capture. After the stabbing, Caravaggio’s life spiraled. He died young, a fugitive from Roman law, becoming a tragic figure in art history. Without his undeniable talent, he might just be remembered as a violent criminal, not a master painter. GO FACT Commentary: Why just paint drama when you can LIVE it? And seriously, stabbing someone over tennis? Some artists go to extreme lengths for their work… others just need a model and a brush. Sources: Andrew Graham-Dixon's Caravaggio: A Life, “Violence and Genius: The Dark Life of Caravaggio” from Renaissance Art Journal, and “Tennis, Dagger, and Art: A Renaissance Nightmare” from JSTOR History of Art.

#1: The Time an Entire Country Forgot About Its Own Independence for 50 Years 🇲🇽🎉🤦‍♀️. In 1840s Mexico, the nation had won its independence… but apparently forgot to tell anyone. For a whopping FIFTY YEARS, no one celebrated or even acknowledged the country's most significant milestone. It was like they collectively hit "snooze" on national pride. The mind-blowing discovery happened in 1847 when a soldier stumbled upon the 1821 declaration of independence. Realizing the epic oversight, Mexico rushed into a seriously belated celebration. This meant half a century of forgotten official holidays – only the paperwork saved the day. Mexico's initial independence was… shall we say, disorganized (shocking for the 1800s, right?). Leaders just assumed everyone was on the same page. By 1847, the country was in a state of disarray, caught in a whirlwind of revolutions and internal conflicts – celebrating freedom was simply not on the to-do list. Finding the independence document was like unearthing a seriously overdue birthday card: "Oh, look! We had independence! Awesome! Too bad nobody told us for half a century". The belated celebration was enthusiastic, but 50 years of collective amnesia is a serious history glitch. Today, Mexican Independence Day is a massive celebration, proving that sometimes history just needs a gentle (or not-so-gentle) reminder. GO FACT Commentary: Imagine an entire nation forgetting its own birthday and hoping nobody notices. Looks like Mexico was the ultimate forgetful friend. Happy belated independence, folks! Sources: David A. Brading's A History of Mexican Independence, “Forgotten National Pride: Mexico's Independence Overlooked” from Mexican Historical Review, and the (presumably dusty) National Archives of Mexico (Belated Party Reports).

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Ever thought history was all stuffy portraits and serious treaties? Think again, buttercup! 🤯 GO FACT YOURSELF is back, and this week we're diving headfirst into the historical Hall of Fame of "Wait, THAT'S how they went?!" moments! 🤣 Get ready to question everything you thought you knew because we're counting down the Top 10 Historical Deaths That Sound 100% Made Up (But Aren’t) — yes, these are REAL deaths, people, stranger than fiction and twice as facepalm-worthy! 🤦‍♀️ From the bizarre to the brutal, prepare to have your historical funny bone tickled and your mind absolutely BLOWN. Perfect for history buffs, true crime junkies, and anyone who's ever snorted their drink at an unbelievable headline. This isn't your grandma's dusty history lesson; it's history with a side of "did that really just happen?!" Buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to drop some serious truth grenades! 💣💥

Here's the unbelievably real, no-BS rundown:

#10: The Man Who Laughed Himself to Death Watching a Sitcom: In 1975, Alex Mitchell, a comedy-loving bricklayer, literally laughed himself into cardiac arrest while watching "The Goodies" on TV! 📺😂 Twenty-five minutes of uncontrollable hysterics over a bagpipe-wielding Scotsman and sausage nunchucks led to a thank-you letter from his widow to the BBC!

#9: The Emperor Who Drank Liquid Gold to Live Forever: Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China and the mastermind behind the Terracotta Army, was so obsessed with immortality that he drank mercury pills concocted by his royal physicians. 🥇☠️ Spoiler alert: it didn't end well.

#8: The Inventor Who Was Killed by His Own Invention: Meet Franz Reichelt, the tailor with a dream of wearable parachutes. In 1912, he decided the Eiffel Tower was the PERFECT testing ground for his "parachute suit." 🗼🪂 Despite telling police he'd use a dummy, he yelled "Vive la France!" and took the plunge. Gravity won.

#7: The King Who Died from Standing Up Too Fast: King George II of Great Britain in 1760 proved that even royal bodily functions can be fatal. After a visit to his "close stool," he stood up too quickly and suffered a fatal aortic aneurysm. 👑🚽➡️💀 His meticulous doctor documented the whole thing!

#6: The Philosopher Who Died from Holding in His Pee: Stoic philosopher Chrysippus of Solis apparently found his own joke about a drunk donkey eating figs SO funny that he laughed uncontrollably and then died, allegedly from a ruptured bladder after holding in his urine. 😂🐴➡️💥 Modern urologists have theories, but the irony is still strong.

#5: The Dancer Who Got Strangled by Her Own Scarf: Isadora Duncan, the revolutionary dancer, lived life in the fast lane. Tragically, in 1927, her signature long silk scarf got caught in the wheel of a convertible, snapping her neck instantly. 💃🧣➡️💔 Her dramatic last words? "Adieu, mes amis. Je vais à la gloire!"

#4: The General Who Got Killed by a Giant Wheel of Cheese: In 1410, Bohemian nobleman and military general Zygmunt of Luxembourg was celebrating his wedding when a six-foot wheel of cheese rolled off a cart and crushed him to death. 🧀🤕 Talk about a Gouda way to go!

#3: The Man Who Asked to Be Executed… By Catapult: Émile Lemoine, a French poet convicted of treason in 1837, had a flair for the dramatic. He requested to be executed by catapult, and authorities, in a bizarre twist, agreed. 📜🏹➡️💥 A theater troupe rigged a trebuchet, and Lemoine was launched into a cliff face. Art, indeed, killed him.

#2: The Self-Mummified Monk Who Rang a Bell from Inside His Own Tomb: In 17th-century Japan, Tetsumonkai, a practitioner of Sokushinbutsu, voluntarily mummified himself alive in a stone tomb, ringing a bell daily for 30 days to signal he was still conscious. 🔔💀 On day 31, silence.

#1: The Nobleman Who Was Killed Mid-Execution by Lightning: In 1753, Polish nobleman Kazimierz Krasiński was being hanged for treason when a bolt of lightning struck the gallows, killing everyone on the scaffold except him (seemingly). ⚡️⚖️➡️😇 The Pope called it divine intervention and posthumously exonerated him!

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A SPY COMEDY OF ERRORS IN TEN ACTS

Ten top-secret tales of international intrigue gone spectacularly sideways, proving that sometimes the greatest threat to national security is human stupidity! 🕵️‍♀️💥😂 You won't believe your spyholes as we expose the hilariously real blunders of secret agents who should have maybe stuck to desk jobs. #SpyFails #EspionageBloopers #RealLifeComedy #Top10List #MindBlown #TruthIsStrangerThanFiction

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GO FACT YOURSELF Tagline: Top 10 Lists. Zero Apologies. Description: Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF—the podcast that infiltrates your eardrums with the most unbelievably true stories the world has to offer! This week, we're diving deep into the shadowy realm of espionage... only to find it's less James Bond and more Mr. Bean with a Walther PPK! Get ready for Operation Facepalm: Espionage Edition, where we count down the Top 10 Real-Life Spy Disasters That Sound Like Parodies! These aren't just minor mishaps; these are full-blown espionage faceplants that will leave you shouting, "YOU’RE KIDDING!" Prepare for a truth grenade packed with exploding cats, sandwich bag secrets, accidental drag queens, and so much more! Buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to expose the chaotic dumpster fire behind the curtain of international intrigue! 🔥🤯 Grab your trench coat, trust no one, and get ready to laugh until you leak classified information!

Here's the Intel Drop on this week's Top 10 Spy Blunders:

* #10: Operation Acoustic Kitty — The CIA Tried to Spy Using a Cat… and It Got Immediately Run Over by a Taxi. You think your cat's aloof? The CIA spent $20 million to turn a feline into a surveillance device by surgically implanting a mic, transmitter, and antenna. Jaw-Dropper: The spy kitty didn’t even cross the street before becoming roadkill! Project canceled.

* #9: The KGB’s Dead Drop Fail — When a Russian Spy Literally Dropped His Secrets in a Sandwich Bag. Russian spy Stanislav Gusev attempted a classic dead drop using a Ziploc bag filled with coded messages and surveillance data. Jaw-Dropper: A Boy Scout leader, jogging nearby, mistook the intel for trash and binned it, leading to Gusev's arrest. Remember kids: only you can prevent spy disasters!

* #8: The French Spy Who Accidentally Became a Drag Performer in Cuba. Agent “Claude D.” in Cuba misinterpreted instructions to blend into Havana’s nightlife and instead became "La Fromage," a popular drag performer. Jaw-Dropper: He actually gathered excellent intel by accident while lip-syncing to Céline Dion, becoming a minor celebrity with access to military officers. From espionage to RuPaul's Drag Race: Havana Edition!

* #7: When MI6 Blew Up a Camel Because They Thought It Was a Secret Weapon. During the Gulf War, British intelligence mistook a Bedouin’s camel for a mobile Soviet listening device. Jaw-Dropper: They blew it up! It was, in fact, just a camel, posthumously codenamed “Operation Humpback”. MI6: 1. Camel: 0. Logic: -7.

* #6: The Spy Couple That Used Their Baby Stroller… to Smuggle C4 (But Forgot the Baby). An East German couple tried to sneak explosives across the Berlin Wall in their baby’s stroller. Jaw-Dropper: The guards were tipped off because the couple panicked and started fake crying when asked where the baby was. The only thing that blew up… was their custody arrangement.

* #5: The American Spy Who Used Invisible Ink… That Wasn’t Invisible. In WWII, U.S. spy Arthur Owens used a "top secret" invisible ink recipe… that turned brown when dry. Jaw-Dropper: He wrote “CONFIDENTIAL – DO NOT READ” on the envelope in normal ink. Invisible ink: great for kids’ birthday parties, less so for global warfare.

* #4: The Spy Who Emailed the Wrong Person… and Got Dozens of Agents Killed. In 2010, the CIA's Iran station accidentally emailed a sensitive contact list to the wrong Gmail address. Jaw-Dropper: The typo ([email protected] instead of [email protected]) led to Iranian intelligence intercepting the list, resulting in dozens of CIA-linked operatives being arrested or vanished. Gmail: Now with end-to-end oops.

* #3: The Spy Whale Who Defected to Norway. In 2019, a beluga whale wearing a Russian harness defected to Norway. Jaw-Dropper: His harness said “Equipment of St. Petersburg” and included a GoPro mount, suggesting training by the Russian navy. This whale defected and got Norwegian citizenship faster than most humans.

* #2: The Spy Who Sent Nudes Over Secure Channels. An Israeli Mossad agent got suspended after using an encrypted system to sext his married superior. Jaw-Dropper: His code name was “Falcon,” but became known internally as “Cockatoo” after the texts and photos leaked. Spy rule #1: Never sleep with the boss’s wife. Spy rule #2: DEFINITELY don’t text about it on the mainframe.

* #1: The CIA Tried to Take Down Castro With… an Exploding Seashell. Among many harebrained assassination plots, the CIA once planned to kill Fidel Castro with a rigged mollusk because “He loves scuba diving”. Jaw-Dropper: Other ideas included poisoned cigars, a depilatory bomb, and a radioactive diving suit. At this point, Castro should’ve gotten royalties from Looney Tunes.

So tune in, turn up the volume, and prepare to have your mind blown by the sheer absurdity of real-life spy fails! It’s more chaotic than a double agent convention and funnier than a polygraph test gone wrong! Don't miss GO FACT YOURSELF: Operation Facepalm - Espionage Edition! 🎧😂💣

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

🔮 Predictions So Real, It's Scary 😱

Buckle up, buttercups, for a deep dive into the uncanny valley of accidental prophecy, where sci-fi novels, animated sitcoms, and even throwaway movie lines weren’t just fun and games, but freaky sneak peeks into our eerily accurate present! 📱🤖

Are we living in a simulation? Did Nostradamus have a TV deal? Or are the writers just REALLY good at predicting the dystopian rollercoaster we call the 21st century? 🤔 Join us as we count down the Top 10 Times Fiction Accidentally Nailed the Future (WTF?), a mind-blowing journey through the moments when make-believe morphed into mind-blowing reality! 🚀📚 From Orwellian surveillance states to the tech in your pocket, prepare for revelations that will make you question everything! 👇

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Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF: Top 10 Lists. Zero Apologies. Prepare to have your perception of reality fractured like a dropped smartphone because this week, we’re not just listing facts; we’re uncovering prophecies hidden in plain sight! 🕵️‍♀️ Our latest episode, “Top 10 Times Fiction Accidentally Nailed the Future (WTF?)”, is your ultimate guide to the spine-tingling moments when fiction writers, filmmakers, and even cartoonists became accidental oracles. 🔮✨ We’re talking about those eerie instances where entertainment wasn’t just escapism, but a bizarre blueprint for the world we now inhabit. Get ready for jaw-dropping coincidences, uncomfortably precise predictions, and the nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, the Matrix is glitching. 😵‍💫

Here’s the mind-bending countdown that will have you yelling “GO FACT YOURSELF!” at your screen:

* #10: “The Simpsons Invented Everything, Fight Me”: Did Springfield’s finest predict… everything?! From smartwatches to Trump’s presidency, this animated juggernaut has an unnerving habit of seeing the future. In a Season 11 episode from 2000, Lisa becomes president after Donald Trump. They didn't just joke about FaceTime, autocorrect fails, or Disney owning Fox—they animated them before they were real. One 1995 episode featured a video call eerily like Zoom, and an autocorrect joke was even cited during Apple’s iOS development. Some say it's statistics; we say, “The Simpsons” writers are time travelers! Sources: The New Yorker (2018), Wired (2015), Reddit r/Futurology archives, DVD commentary from Matt Groening.

* #9: “2001: A Space Odyssey Saw Your iPad Coming”: Kubrick and Clarke’s 1968 masterpiece envisioned the modern tablet—decades ahead of its time. Astronauts in the film used “newspads” for news and media, strikingly similar to an iPad. Even Samsung cited 2001 in a lawsuit against Apple to argue tablets weren’t Apple’s original idea. The “newspad” design nailed the use case: portable digital information, media browsing, and intuitive touch interaction. Apple’s legal documents even acknowledged the film's eerie accuracy. Sources: United States District Court Docs: Apple Inc. v. Samsung Electronics (2012), Arthur C. Clarke’s “The Sentinel” (1951), Criterion Collection commentary.

* #8: “Star Trek Predicted Everything BUT a Decent Reboot”: Captain Kirk's gadgets weren't just sci-fi—they were Apple Store previews! The original 1966 show foresaw Bluetooth, touchscreens, and voice assistants. The inventor of the cellphone, Martin Cooper, credited Star Trek’s “communicator” as his direct inspiration. Uhura’s earpiece? Pure Bluetooth. The universal translator? AI-powered multilingual speech processing. Even the tricorder is now the goal of medtech startups. NASA engineers, MIT researchers, and Elon Musk cite Star Trek as a foundational influence. Sources: Smithsonian Mag (2016), IEEE Archives, Interviews with Martin Cooper (CNN Tech, 2004).

* #7: “Back to the Future II Predicted 2015… Kind Of”: Hoverboards, smart glasses, and baseball team curses, oh my! While flying cars were a miss, the film’s 2015 vision got weirdly accurate. Nike actually released self-lacing shoes on October 21, 2015—the exact date Marty arrives in the future. AR glasses, video calls on wall-mounted screens, and thumbprint door locks also became reality. And while the Cubs didn’t win in 2015 as predicted, they broke their 108-year curse in 2016. Sources: Wired (2015), ESPN (2016), Nike’s press release archive.

* #6: “Brave New World Had Your Antidepressants on Preorder”: Huxley’s 1932 novel imagined a pill-popping, dopamine-driven dystopia that feels eerily familiar. The fictional drug Soma acts almost identically to certain SSRIs, even being marketed later with Huxley-esque language. A society where discomfort is chemically erased predates Prozac by 56 years. Pharmaceutical campaigns in the ‘80s and ‘90s used similar copy: “Feel Better. Live Better.”. Sources: Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” (1932), Psychology Today archives (1997), SSRI marketing archives, AdAge Vault.

* #5: “Minority Report Predicted Targeted Ads and Pre-Crime Policing”: Spielberg’s 2002 thriller got disturbingly real about predictive policing and hyper-personalized ads. Retinal scans triggering personalized billboards are now like walking into a Best Buy logged into Google. We live in a world of real-time facial recognition and eerily specific TikTok ads. Even scarier? China launched a real-life “pre-crime” system in 2017 using AI to flag potential threats. Sources: Human Rights Watch (2019), MIT Tech Review (2021), Wired (2020).

* #4: “Fahrenheit 451 Burned the Truth Before Facebook Could”: Bradbury’s vision wasn’t just about censorship—but about a society so distracted by screens it welcomes its own ignorance. Published in 1953, it warned of people not caring enough to read, envisioning “parlor walls”—flat-screen TVs that drown thought in distraction. He also imagined earbuds (“seashells”) that isolate users. Add in mass disinformation and echo chambers, and you’ve got a society choosing ignorance. Sources: Ray Bradbury’s “Fahrenheit 451” (1953), Rolling Stone (2012), The Atlantic (2020).

* #3: “Neuromancer Booted Up the Internet Before It Was Cool”: William Gibson invented the word “cyberspace” in 1984—and accidentally mapped the future of hacking, VR, and digital identity. He imagined a global digital network accessible through avatars—sound like the Internet or the Metaverse?. Gibson predicted digital addiction, identity theft, and AI consciousness—all without ever using a computer, as he wrote the book on a typewriter. Sources: William Gibson’s “Neuromancer” (1984), Interview with The Paris Review (1999), Wired Oral History of Cyberpunk (2005).

* #2: “The Onion Accidentally Predicted a Real War”: A 2011 satirical piece joked about Russia invading Ukraine… for real. The headline? “Putin Declares Victory Over U.S. in Cold War II,” describing Putin reclaiming Soviet territory. In March 2014, Russian state media aired The Onion article as real news after they annexed Crimea. The “joke” about Western powers being “too distracted by internal politics to respond” hit hard post-2016. Sources: The Onion Archives (2011), BBC (2014), Foreign Policy (2022).

* #1: “1984 Isn’t a Warning, It’s a User Manual”: Orwell predicted Big Brother, mass surveillance, and doublethink—and we still walked into it smiling. The U.K. has over 5.2 million CCTV cameras, many with facial recognition. Orwell’s “doublethink”—holding contradictory beliefs—has become commonplace. AI-assisted facial tracking and predictive analytics are the new telescreens. Sources: George Orwell’s “1984” (1949), The Guardian (2020), ACLU (2023).

Don’t miss this deep dive into the prophetic powers of pop culture! Subscribe to GO FACT YOURSELF for more mind-blowing top 10 lists that will make you question everything you thought you knew! 🤔🔥🎧

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Prepare to have your pop culture universe completely REWIRED. (The Rabbit Hole Goes Deeper Than You Think)

WELCOME TO GO FACT YOURSELF, where we're diving headfirst into the internet's wildest speculations with an episode that asks: what if everything you thought you knew was a lie?! 🕵️‍♂️🔦 We're counting down the TOP 10 MOST BONKERS FAN THEORIES (THAT MIGHT BE TRUE) that will have you questioning every rerun and rewatch! From the eerie implications of #10: Dora the Explorer Is Actually a Post-Apocalyptic Scout, where her bilingual banter masks a mission to map a ruined world with military-grade tech, and Swiper isn't just swiping, he's scavenging in a desolate Latin America haunted by crumbling infrastructure, to the shocking revelation that #9: Breaking Bad Is a Willy Wonka Prequel, suggesting Walter White's meth empire was just a stepping stone to becoming the eccentric candy king, complete with Oompa Loompa cartel foot soldiers and children eliminated for moral failings! Hold onto your Krabby Patties because #8: SpongeBob SquarePants Is a Nuclear Testing Mutation, placing Bikini Bottom as a surreal, mutated aftermath of Cold War nuclear tests at Bikini Atoll, where even the Krabby Patty formula holds radioactive secrets! Prepare for existential dread as we unpack #7: The Fresh Prince Is Actually Dead, theorizing Will's Bel-Air "vacation" is actually heaven, with Uncle Phil as a divine figure guiding him through the afterlife after a fatal West Philadelphia fight! Then buckle up for a journey to a supposedly ancient land that might be anything but, in #6: Aladdin Takes Place in a Post-Apocalyptic Future, where Genie's Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions and flying carpets hint at a Mad Max-style dystopia where Agrabah rose from the ashes! But we're not stopping there! Is #5: James Bond Is a Codename, Not a Person?! This theory suggests 007 is a constantly shifting mantle passed down through MI6, explaining the aging inconsistencies and ever-changing faces! What if your favorite day-off flick is actually a sign of something much darker? In #4: Ferris Bueller Is Cameron’s Tyler Durden, Ferris might just be a figment of Cameron's imagination, his rebellious alter ego living out the life Cameron only dreams of! Prepare for a cartoon collision that will blow your mind: #3: The Flintstones Are Living After the Jetsons posits that Bedrock isn't the past, but a Stone Age underclass living on a ruined Earth beneath the Jetsons' futuristic sky-high society! Could the most annoying Gungan in the galaxy have been the ultimate puppet master? We delve into the wild theory of #2: Jar Jar Binks Was Meant to Be a Sith Lord, exploring how Lucas's early intentions and Ahmed Best's hints suggest a Darth Jar Jar pulling the strings of the Phantom Menace! And finally, prepare for some serious toy story trauma because #1: Andy’s Mom in Toy Story Is Jessie’s Original Owner suggests that the red cowboy hat connects Andy to Emily, the girl who broke Jessie's heart, creating a cycle of intergenerational toy abandonment! Get ready to FACT. YOUR.SELF. with the most unbelievable truths hidden in plain pop-cultural sight! 💥📺🍿🎮🎬

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

(CHAOS THEORY: HUMAN EDITION)

Ever wonder if history is just one giant series of “oopsie doodles”? 🤯 Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF, where we dive headfirst into the glorious dumpster fire of accidental world-changing events! 🔥 This week, buckle up buttercups, because we're counting down the Top 10 times humanity stumbled, fumbled, and straight-up narcolepsied its way into altering the course of civilization… often for the worse! 🤦‍♀️ Get ready for mind-blowing “wait, THAT’S how we got this?!” moments, epic fails with butterfly effects, and enough historical WTF-ery to make you delete your time-travel app faster than you can say “Pomponius the Duck!” 🦆🌍

Join us as we unpack the ten most gloriously awkward pivots in human history, where one wrong move, one missed memo, or one ill-advised snack launched empires, sparked revolutions, and gave us… spam. 💾 We're talking about the chaotic good (and mostly chaotic neutral) individuals who, through sheer dumb luck, monumental blunders, or a serious case of the Mondays, accidentally rewrote the textbooks. 📚

Here's the epic rundown of historical hilarity that awaits:

* #10: The Soldier Who Overslept and Delayed D-Day: One sleepy staff officer literally forgot to deliver the weather report that would’ve postponed the most famous military invasion of all time. Because of that delay, D-Day launched during borderline catastrophic weather — and still succeeded. This miscommunication meant Operation Overlord launched under brutal weather, which weirdly worked in the Allies’ favor because the Nazis assumed no one would attack during a storm. Thanks to one underpaid dude’s nap, Hitler’s beach defenses were caught napping, too. Imagine sleeping through your alarm and waking up to find out you accidentally helped beat the Nazis. Sources include “Overlord: D-Day and the Battle for Normandy” by Max Hastings, BBC War Archives (1944), and Memoirs of General Eisenhower (declassified).

* #9: The Man Who Invented the Microwave Because He Was Snacking on a Candy Bar: Percy Spencer, a radar engineer, had a candy bar in his pocket that melted when he stood next to a magnetron. Boom — the microwave was born. He tested it further by exploding popcorn in the lab and cooking an egg on a metal plate… which blew up in a coworker’s face. In 1945, while working on magnetron tech at Raytheon, Spencer noticed his chocolate bar liquefy. He then tried popcorn and an egg. Raytheon turned it into the first home microwave, the size of a fridge and pricier than a car. We owe Hot Pockets to a guy who cooked himself by accident. The modern diet owes its soul to one gooey candy bar. Sources: Smithsonian Magazine, 2015; “Radar Man: The Story of Percy Spencer” by Gene Gurney; Raytheon Corporate Archives.

* #8: The DJ Who Accidentally Started a Revolution: In 1989, a confused East German official made a vague statement on live TV. A radio DJ misinterpreted it, announced the Berlin Wall was open — and thousands stormed the border. Border guards, stunned and unprepared, just let people through. On November 9, 1989, Günter Schabowski mumbled about “changes in travel policy”. A radio host misquoted it as: “The wall is open!”. Berliners showed up en masse, and soldiers opened the gates. The Cold War’s most iconic moment was sparked by a guy who wasn’t even sure what memo he was reading. East Germany was technically taken down by a misheard radio segment. Sources: Der Spiegel archives (1989), BBC: The Fall of the Wall oral history, “Stasiland” by Anna Funder.

* #7: The Duck That Launched an Empire: In the 16th century, a nobleman’s son threw a duck at a soldier, sparking a duel that escalated into a war between France and the Holy Roman Empire. That duck was apparently borrowed from a monastery and had a name: Pomponius. In the 1530s, France and the Holy Roman Empire were already tense. At a minor diplomatic event, a French noble’s teenage son hurled a ceremonial duck at a German envoy. The insult led to a duel, which turned into a blood feud, which turned into the Italian War of 1536. Over. A. Duck. Pomponius the Duck is now technically responsible for over 40,000 casualties. Sources: “Memoirs of a Renaissance Courtier” (Gallica, French National Archives), Reddit r/AskHistorians AMA (Verified historian thread), University of Munich historical battle logs.

* #6: The Guy Who Thought “Alcohol Might Cure Radiation Poisoning”: After Chernobyl, one Soviet engineer decided the best response to acute radiation exposure was vodka. He lived. Others tried it. Chaos ensued. He later claimed, “I was too drunk to be scared”. Anatoly Dyatlov allegedly downed “an entire bottle of vodka” after the 1986 Chernobyl meltdown, claiming it “calmed his nerves” and helped “flush out radiation”. This sparked a dangerous trend. Dyatlov lived another decade. Truly the Russian equivalent of ‘rub some dirt in it,’ except the dirt is radioactive, and the vodka is... still vodka. Sources: “Voices from Chernobyl” by Svetlana Alexievich, Soviet medical dispatches (declassified in 2001), Chernobyl Museum (Kyiv) oral history archives.

* #5: The Teenager Who Accidentally Drew the Borders of the Modern Middle East: In 1916, a teenage clerk in the British Foreign Office misfiled a crucial document related to the Sykes-Picot Agreement. That one mistake led to territorial confusion that still fuels conflict today. British officials didn’t catch the error for weeks — by then, multiple regions had overlapping colonial claims. Ernest Holloway Oldham, a 19-year-old barely trained clerk, swapped two territorial clauses in papers about the Sykes-Picot Agreement, switching Syrian and Mesopotamian control assignments. It caused confusion between the British and French zones. Post-WWI negotiations turned into a nightmare, triggering eventual partition disasters and setting the stage for over a century of unrest. Sources: “A Peace to End All Peace” by David Fromkin, British National Archives (Foreign Office documents, 1916–1922), MI5 declassified files (1972).

* #4: The Guy Who Invented LSD… and Took Way Too Much: Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann synthesized LSD in 1938 and accidentally absorbed it through his skin. His first trip? Biking home while hallucinating melting furniture and talking trees. April 19, 1943 — Bicycle Day — was the first acid trip. Working at Sandoz Pharmaceuticals, Hofmann noticed “odd sensations” after synthesizing ergot derivatives. He’d absorbed a compound through his fingertips. He intentionally took 250 micrograms days later. His bike ride home became legendary. This paved the way for LSD’s explosion into psychiatry, counterculture, and government experimentation (MKULTRA 👀). Sources: “LSD: My Problem Child” by Albert Hofmann, Erowid Archives, CIA MKULTRA declassified docs.

* #3: The IT Guy Who Invented Spam… By Accident: In 1978, a marketer for Digital Equipment Corp sent a mass email to 393 ARPANET users promoting a product. He thought he was being helpful. He invented spam. People were so furious, it caused a near-shutdown of the entire ARPANET for 48 hours. Gary Thuerk, “The Father of Spam,” emailed everyone on the ARPANET, ignoring etiquette. The system flooded, engineers panicked, and flame wars broke out. Thuerk claimed he made $13 million in sales. Sources: Wired Magazine Oral History of the Internet, MIT Digital Archives, Interview with Gary Thuerk, 2007.

* #2: The Emperor Who Thought Tomatoes Were Poisonous: For over 200 years, Europeans believed tomatoes were deadly because Emperor Ferdinand II of Austria ate one, puked, and declared it “satanic fruit”. Tomatoes weren’t reintroduced to mainstream European cuisine until the 1800s. In 1614, a royal banquet featuring tomatoes resulted in mass vomiting. Emperor Ferdinand II banned them at court. The tomato juice had reacted with lead in pewter plates, releasing toxins. The tomato was demonized and renamed the “Wolf Peach”. Italian cuisine without tomatoes existed for centuries. Sources: “The Tomato in America” by Andrew F. Smith, European Culinary Histories, Vol. III, Austrian Royal Court Records, 1614.

* #1: The Farmer Who Accidentally Started the Black Death: In 1331, a Mongolian farmer near Lake Issyk-Kul beat a rat to death, tossed it in a well… and unknowingly introduced the bubonic plague to Eurasia. That one infected rat led to over 75 million deaths. In 1331, chronicles describe a man whose livestock died mysteriously. He killed a strangely acting rat and threw it into the communal water supply. His family and village fell ill, then trade caravans. The plague spread along the Silk Road to Europe by 1347. It all started with a guy just trying to protect his goats. Sources: Nature Genetics (2022): DNA tracing of Yersinia pestis origin, “The Great Mortality” by John Kelly, Medieval Mongol chronicles translated by Rashid al-Din.

So tune in, fact fanatics, for a rollercoaster of historical hijinks that proves sometimes the biggest changes come from the smallest, most facepalm-worthy moments. You might just learn that the universe is run on accidental chaos and the occasional well-placed (or terribly misplaced) duck. 🎧

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Cancel your Louvre selfie—this ain't your grandma's dusty relics; it's a ten-stop freakshow of mummified parasites, love-axe lore, and enough questionable taxidermy to haunt your dreams! 🤯

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Welcome back to GO FACT YOURSELF, the podcast that's more addictive than reality TV and stranger than your uncle's internet search history! This week, ditch the velvet ropes and prepare for a deep dive into the TOP 10 STRANGEST MUSEUMS YOU CAN ACTUALLY VISIT (YES, EVEN YOU, CHAD)! Forget oil paintings and dinosaur bones—we're plunging into the gloriously grotesque corners of human curiosity, ranking the most niche, bizarre, and utterly real museums on planet Earth. Get ready to question everything you thought you knew about culture, history, and whether that tickle is just lint or a 29-foot tapeworm! This episode is your all-access pass to the absurd, so grab your barf bag and let’s GO FACT YOURSELVES!

First up at #10: The Museum of Broken Relationships (Zagreb, Croatia & LA, USA)! It's a shrine to heartbreak where your ex's toaster gets the spotlight! Think divorce lawyer meets sad poet on Etsy, showcasing physical remnants of failed relationships from around the globe. One exhibit features an axe used to chop up an ex-girlfriend's furniture, while another LA outpost displayed a dead scorpion titled “He said I was his everything. This was his everything.” 💀. This museum, born from the pain of two exes, now receives submissions from over 100 countries, featuring everything from stuffed animals to wedding dresses, and even a garden gnome thrown through a windshield. Each item has a QR code unlocking the submitter's raw story—it's Reddit's r/relationships with actual props.

Creeping in at #9 is The International Cryptozoology Museum (Portland, Maine, USA)! Prepare to believe (or at least snort with amusement) at this haven for creatures that maybe-kinda-definitely don’t exist! Bigfoot believers and Mothman maniacs, this is your Graceland! Founder Loren Coleman's obsession has filled this Ripley’s-esque museum with "evidence" of legendary beasts: footprint casts, blurry photos, and a taxidermied “Feejee Mermaid” that’s a monkey glued to a fish. They even have a hair sample that's "absolutely not a bear" according to the founder, and a life-sized replica of a coelacanth. Coleman's been at it for over 50 years, amassing a fever dream of fringe science that's somehow a registered nonprofit. Wake up, sheeple!

Flushing its way to #8 is The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets (New Delhi, India)! Yes, you heard that right—it's 5,000 years of human poop logistics, and it's surprisingly informative! Forget potty humor; this is potty HISTORY! Founded by sanitation superhero Dr. Bindeshwar Pathak (aka the Toilet Gandhi), this museum dives deep into humanity’s number one (and number two) obsession. Discover ancient chamber pots, Japanese robo-toilets, and medieval European loos that were basically just holes in the wall. The crown jewel? A replica of Louis XIV’s gilded toilet disguised as a chair so the Sun King could multitask his royal duties (if you know what we mean 😉). You'll even find a section on toilets in space! It’s the only museum where you leave feeling relieved.

Taking a dark turn at #7 is The Museum of Death (Los Angeles, California, USA)! It's where the gift shop sells actual toe tags! Dedicated to humanity’s ultimate mic drop, this museum offers a one-way ticket to the macabre, from serial killers to embalming techniques. Founded by two art weirdos turned death enthusiasts, its mission is to educate on death with zero sugarcoating. Brace yourself for graphic crime scene photos, antique funeral ephemera, real letters from Charles Manson, and a full replica of the Heaven’s Gate bunk room. Oh, and did we mention the wall of serial killer artwork and autopsy footage screenings? It's Disneyland for your nightmares!

Sliding into #6 is The Icelandic Phallological Museum (Reykjavík, Iceland)! Prepare for the world’s largest penis collection—no ifs, ands, or tiny buts about it! Home to over 280 penises and penile parts from nearly every mammal in Iceland, including a human donor named “Elmo” (we wish we were kidding). The founder even received a human penis posthumously, only to find it had shriveled in transport 😱. What started as a high school teacher's oddball hobby is now a full-blown (and uncomfortably veiny) institution where you can admire sperm whale schlongs taller than your niece, and learn about the "cursed" polar bear penis that supposedly causes erectile dysfunction if touched. It’s weird, surprisingly tasteful, and a place where size absolutely does matter!

Getting hairy at #5 is The Avanos Hair Museum (Avanos, Turkey)! Imagine thousands of women’s hair samples in a literal cave—soooo not creepy, right? A Turkish potter collected hair clippings from over 16,000 women over 30 years and hung them on his walls... in a dimly lit cave under his pottery shop. It started with a departing friend's lock of hair and escalated into a follicular phone book of names and addresses. Ten lucky donors are chosen randomly each year to return for free pottery classes. Guinness World Record holder? Check. Weirdly heartwarming or Buffalo Bill's arts and crafts project? You decide! Still less creepy than the hair cave.

At #4, we have The Mutter Museum (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA)! Get ready to come for the brains in jars and stay because you fainted (probably)! America’s premier medical oddities museum houses Einstein’s brain slices, mutant skeletons, and a colon the size of a SEWER PIPE 🤢. Run by The College of Physicians of Philadelphia, it’s a Victorian curiosity cabinet meets medical school fever dream. Highlights include conjoined twins in jars, skulls labeled with cause of death, and the world's largest human colon. They also have preserved fetal anomalies, Civil War surgical tools, and the Soap Lady—a woman whose corpse turned to soap underground. Equal parts fascinating and vomitous, like Grey’s Anatomy directed by Tim Burton!

Twisting in at #3 is The Kansas Barbed Wire Museum (La Crosse, Kansas, USA)! Prepare for over 2,400 types of barbed wire—yeehaw, you're trapped (literally and metaphorically)! Dedicated solely to barbed wire, this museum in a small Kansas town boasts more wire types than a CIA safehouse. Discover barbed wire used in Civil War prison camps and even one supposedly haunted by a cattle rustler. And yes, there is a Barbed Wire Hall of Fame! Learn about the "Barbed Wire Wars" of the 1870s and marvel at tools for making and repairing this "Devil's Rope". Now in the Barbed Wire Hall of Fame… which is definitely a real place and not a Mad Max fan club.

Stumbling into #2 is The Museum of Bad Art (Somerville, Massachusetts, USA)! Because not everyone’s a Picasso—and MOBA proves that failure can be a gloriously beautiful disaster! This gallery exclusively showcases “art too bad to be ignored”, featuring melted faces, haunted landscapes, and anatomy that would offend a jellyfish. Their slogan? “Art too bad to be ignored”. Iconic pieces include “Lucy in the Field with Flowers” and the aptly titled “Sunday on the Pot with George”. Curators only accept accidentally awful art—it's like American Idol for oil painting! Choral Hallelujah!

And finally, wriggling its way to #1 is The Meguro Parasitological Museum (Tokyo, Japan)! Get ready for thousands of parasites, one man’s obsession, and absolutely zero chill! This museum is dedicated to the slimy, squirmy kind, featuring actual worms longer than your body! Founded by Dr. Satoru Kamegai, it boasts over 60,000 parasite specimens. The crown jewel? A 29-foot tapeworm on display, donated by a man who “felt a tickle” while using the bathroom 🫠. Exhibits include parasites from animals, humans, and even parasites with their own parasites. And yes, you can buy parasite plushies in the gift shop! Nothing says “Japan” quite like turning a literal nightmare into a charming weekend activity. On a scale from 1 to Tapeworm…

What are you waiting for, fact fanatics?! Subscribe now for more mind-blowing Top 10 lists and prepare to have your reality thoroughly GO FACT YOURSELF-ed! 💥

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

🧪 LABORATORY OF DOOM: A "HOLD MY BEAKER" ODYSSEY) One podcast. Ten tales of hubris, horror, and hilariously hazardous hypotheses that prove scientific progress is just one wrong calculation away from a glorious dumpster fire 🔥.

Get ready to facepalm so hard you’ll invent a new form of chiropractic care, because this week on GO FACT YOURSELF, we’re diving headfirst into the TOP 10 TIMES SCIENCE STRAPPED ON THE GOGGLES, SAID “HOLD MY BEER,” AND NEARLY ENDED US ALL! 🤯 Forget your meticulously peer-reviewed publications; we're talking about the glorious, terrifying, and pants-wettingly hilarious moments when scientific ambition went rogue, fueled by unchecked egos, questionable ethics, and maybe just a tad too much ether 💨. Buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your high school science fair – this is science with the safety gloves OFF and the "maybe we shouldn't" warnings IGNORED. Prepare for radioactive cocktails ☢️ that promised vim but delivered death, weaponized wildlife 🦇 that backfired spectacularly, mind control mishaps 🧠 straight out of a Cold War thriller, and doctors who thought self-surgery 🔪 with questionable hygiene was a career goal. Because sometimes, folks, progress looks less like a shining beacon and more like a raging inferno… and tonight, WE BROUGHT THE MARSHMALLOWS! 🍿 Join us as we bravely (or foolishly) rank the top ten near-apocalypses cooked up in the name of discovery!

Here’s the atomic-level breakdown of the impending doom we’ll be dissecting:

* #10: Skinner's Kamikaze Pigeons: Operation Coo d'Etat 🕊️💣: Picture WWII. The Allies need smarter bombs. Enter B.F. Skinner, Mr. Operant Conditioning, with a plan so bird-brained it almost took flight: pigeons steering missiles! Yes, actual feathered friends pecking at screens inside missile cones to guide them to enemy ships. Get ready for the original Angry Birds, and ponder the sheer logistics of pigeon pilots versus the dawn of electronic guidance. Imagine the enemy’s confusion: “Sir, we’re being attacked by… pigeons?”.

* #9: This Philly Doctor Had a Vomit Fetish... FOR SCIENCE! 🤮👨‍🔬: Meet Stubbins Ffirth, a 19th-century medical apprentice convinced Yellow Fever wasn't contagious. His groundbreaking (and gut-wrenching) method of proving it? Becoming intimately acquainted with the bodily fluids of dying patients, including drinking black vomit. We’re talking a full-on black vomit tasting menu! Discover why he miraculously survived his biohazard buffet and how his misguided bravery delayed our understanding of the disease. Guessing he wasn't invited to many potlucks. This scores high on the Ffirth Scale of Self-Abuse for Science!

* #8: Laika Wasn't Alone: Russia Strapped Rockets to Dozens of Good Bois 🚀🐶: You know Laika, the tragic first dog in space. But she was just one of at least 57 Soviet space dogs launched between 1951 and 1966, many on suicide missions. Uncover the ethically murky details of the Soviet animal space program, the brutal training, and the Cold War puppy diplomacy that followed Belka and Strelka’s survival. My human threw a ball. Mine strapped me to an ICBM. Don't worry, PETA, it was... for science (dripping with irony).

* #7: The Doctor Who Played Operation on Himself (And Won a Nobel Prize) ⚕️🏆: In 1929, German surgical trainee Werner Forssmann decided the best way to prove you could safely catheterize a human heart was to do it to himself, against orders, using his own arm vein and an X-ray mirror. He got fired but ultimately won a Nobel for his insane self-surgery. Takes 'putting your heart into your work' to a whole new level. Nothing says 'I love you' like potentially lethal unauthorized medical experimentation (he married the nurse he tricked!).

* #6: Project X-Ray: When the US Military Weaponized Bats (And Burned Down Their Own Base) 🦇🔥: Another WWII head-scratcher! Faced with flammable Japanese cities, a dentist proposed strapping tiny incendiary bombs to millions of bats. The plan backfired spectacularly when armed bats escaped and torched a US Army airbase. The bats were clearly double agents. Imagine explaining that insurance claim: 'Cause of fire? Uh... angry bats?'.

* #5: The Bullfighter Who Used Mind Control (And Probably Freaked Everyone Out) 🐂🧠: In 1963, neuroscientist José Delgado stepped into a bullring armed with a radio transmitter and stopped a charging bull in its tracks by activating electrodes implanted in its brain. Witness the stunning, unsettling power of his "stimoceiver". Suddenly, 'taking the bull by the horns' seems inefficient. Basically turning a bull into a very large, very dangerous remote-controlled car.

* #4: When Soviet Science Tried to Make Human-Ape Babies (Seriously) 🐒👶: In the 1920s, the Soviet Union funded biologist Ilya Ivanov’s truly bonkers quest: to create a human-ape hybrid. He traveled to Africa with human sperm to inseminate chimpanzees. Thankfully (or not?), he failed. Guess they really wanted to prove evolution... the hard way. Imagine the custody battle.

* #3: Jack Parsons: Rocket God, Occult Sex Wizard, Accidental Bomb-Maker 🚀🔮💥: Meet Jack Parsons: brilliant rocket scientist, JPL co-founder, and devout follower of Aleister Crowley. This dude was literally developing rocket fuel by day and performing sex magic rituals by night, trying to summon goddesses. His life ended when he blew himself up. Probably the only JPL founder who listed 'summoning demons' as a hobby. And then L. Ron Hubbard shows up! The "Where's Waldo?" of weird 20th-century history. Wait, THOSE guys?!. Talk about explosive chemistry.

* #2: Your Grandma Might've Been a CIA Acid Trip Guinea Pig (Seriously) 👵🍄🤫: During the Cold War, the CIA went full mad scientist with Project MKUltra, a top-secret mind control program that involved dosing unwitting citizens with LSD, hypnosis, and more. We're talking real-life horror show funded by your tax dollars. The CIA: Finding new ways to make you paranoid since 1947. Imagine the office party planning committee: 'Okay, involuntary acid trip theme again?'. This scores a solid 10/10 on the MKUltra 'Oh God, Why?' meter.

* #1: Radium: The Miracle Cure That Made People Glow (In Their Graves) ✨💀: At the dawn of the 20th century, radium was a magical health elixir! It was infused into everything, promising vitality. The tragic fate of the "Radium Girls" who painted watch dials with glowing radium paint exposed the deadly truth. Imagine the marketing meeting: 'How do we make toothpaste more exciting?' 'Add poison!'. The detail of the women licking the radioactive paintbrushes is horrifyingly tragic. The original energy drink... that also gave you bone cancer.

So tune in to GO FACT YOURSELF this week for a rollercoaster of scientific shenanigans that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about progress… and maybe reaching for a Geiger counter. You’ve been warned! 👂💥

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com