From tear gas tycoons to crypto Houdinis, this is the definitive countdown of history’s most audaciously unpunished baddies.

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Podcast Title: GO FACT YOURSELF Tagline: Top 10 Lists. Zero Apologies. Description: Welcome to GO FACT YOURSELF—the podcast that hits harder than your uncle's trivia night and cuts deeper than your ex’s last text. Each episode is a no-holds-barred countdown of the Top 10 Most Jaw-Dropping, Mind-Melting, Table-Flipping Facts in the universe. From the weirdest laws ever passed to history’s most savage comebacks, we rank it all—boldly, brilliantly, and with a twist of “did-they-just-say-that?!” This isn’t just a facts show. It’s a truth grenade. Press play. Regret nothing.

Ever wonder where Hollywood gets its supervillain ideas? Turns out, reality is way more creatively criminal! 😈 Join us for a deep dive into the Top 10 Real-Life Supervillains Who Were Somehow NOT Arrested 🚨—a rogue's gallery of historical heavyweights and modern-day masterminds who looked justice in the eye and said, "Nah, I'm good." From weaponizing sneezes to faking digital deaths, these are the unbelievable true stories that prove sometimes, the bad guys just... win? Buckle up, fact fans, because this episode is a wild ride through the loopholes of history, packed with more twists than a pretzel factory explosion! 💥

Here's the dastardly countdown that'll leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about law and order:

#10: The Guy Who Invented Tear Gas… Then Sold It to Both Sides of Every War 🧪💣 Meet Major General Amos Fries, the "Mr. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Warcrime" who didn't just invent tear gas, he made it the must-have accessory for global conflicts and then lobbied against banning chemical weapons. He even sold his patented tear gas to police departments for use on striking workers. This military-industrial hype man normalized gas usage, claiming it was more humane than bullets and even blamed pacifists and feminists for trying to stop his "chemical bonanza". He funded "patriotic" youth groups to promote gas warfare in schools and retired with full honors, never facing any legal repercussions. (Sources: “Tear Gas: From the Battlefields of WWI to the Streets of Today” by Anna Feigenbaum, Library of Congress: Amos A. Fries Papers, JSTOR: American Chemical Nationalism (2015)).

#9: The Banker Who Bought a Country, Declared Himself King, and Got Away With It 👑🧀 Say hello to Gregory-Daniel I of the Kingdom of Tavolara, the real-life "Monopoly Man" who convinced Italy his family's 5-square-kilometer rock off Sardinia was an independent kingdom. He printed his own money, passed royal decrees, and was recognized by at least four European monarchs—all while being a cheese merchant! It all started when his dad joked with the King of Sardinia, who didn't take it seriously. Gregory did, flew a goat flag, and established a monarchy that lasted for generations. Despite hosting British navy officers and issuing passports, no one ever stopped him because it was deemed too ridiculous to prosecute. (Sources: Atlas Obscura: “The Tiny Kingdom of Tavolara”, BBC: “Europe’s Secret Monarchies” (2019), Reddit AMA with Paolo Bertoleoni).

#8: The Crypto Bro Who Faked His Death (Probably) 💀💸 Brace yourselves for Gerald Cotten, the founder of QuadrigaCX, the "Gone in a Blockchain Minute" maestro who "died" in India, taking $250 million in crypto keys with him. His suspiciously timed will written two weeks before his death, an error-riddled death certificate, and the lack of a verified body photo scream "Scooby Doo villain escape plan". Investigators found he’d been moving client funds to fake accounts in a classic Ponzi scheme. Having studied how to disappear, traveled under aliases, and with ties to tax havens and no matching autopsy, the prevailing theory is he's enjoying a permanent vacation with everyone's Bitcoin. (Sources: Netflix: “Trust No One: The Hunt for the Crypto King”, CBC: “A Death in India” investigative series, Reddit r/QuadrigaCX deep dives).

#7: The Nazi Doctor Who Kept His Medical License After WWII 💉💀 Prepare for the chilling tale of Dr. Josef Mengele, the "Dr. Evil’s Side Gig: Nazi War Crimes Edition" SS officer infamous for his horrific experiments on concentration camp prisoners. Not only did he escape justice, but he lived freely in South America until his death in 1979. Despite being one of the most wanted men on Earth, this inventor of unimaginable medical torture evaded capture for years, blending into communities with his charm. (Sources: Mengele: The Complete Story by Gerald L. Posner, The Nazi Doctors by Robert Jay Lifton, ABC News Special on WWII War Criminals).

#6: The Most Dangerous Hitman in History Who Never Got Caught 🎯👻 Meet Luis Felipe Restrepo, the Columbian cartel assassin with the "This Hitman Had the Best Job You’ve Never Heard Of". Allegedly responsible for over 500 kills in the 1980s for the Medellin Cartel and Pablo Escobar, this ghost in the streets never even came close to being caught until he retired. His untraceable methods, disguises, and constant movement allowed him to eliminate high-profile targets without a trace. He seemingly vanished into retirement in Medellin, never facing charges. (Sources: The Rise and Fall of the Medellín Cartel by Roberto Bonilla, Killing Pablo by Mark Bowden, Colombian Cartels and the Hitman Industry by Javier Figueroa).

#5: The Genius Who Flew Under the Radar — Literally ✈️💰 Get ready for the legendary D. B. Cooper, the "The Man Who Outsmarted the FBI by Flying His Plane into Uncharted Territory". In 1971, this infamous skyjacker vanished with $200,000 after parachuting out of a Boeing 727 mid-flight. Despite one of the largest manhunts in history, Cooper disappeared without a trace, and neither he nor the money was ever fully recovered. Decades of FBI investigation and countless bizarre theories later, the mystery remains unsolved. (Sources: FBI’s “D. B. Cooper Case File” (public record), Into the Air: The D. B. Cooper Story by Geoffrey Gray, The Vanishing of D.B. Cooper by Robert T. Humes).

#4: The Famous Cult Leader Who Got Away With Murder... and Millions 🙏💀 Witness the terrifying story of Jim Jones, the charismatic, delusional cult leader of the People’s Temple, the "He Called Himself ‘The Messiah’... And He Was Untouchable". He manipulated nearly 1,000 followers into a mass suicide in 1978. For years, he controlled his followers in a remote jungle compound in Guyana, preventing any outside intervention. While Congressman Leo Ryan's investigation led to violence and ultimately the "White Night," Jones himself died by gunshot before ever facing justice. (Sources: Raven: The Untold Story of the Rev. Jim Jones and His People by Tim Reiterman, The White Night: The Final Hours of Jonestown by Rebecca Moore, Cult Escapes Journal of Social Psychology (2011)).

#3: The Unstoppable "Serial Killer" Who Was Secretly a Cop 🚨🔪 Prepare for the shocking tale of the Golden State Killer, the "A Cop Who Killed: How One of America's Most Infamous Serial Killers Was Also the Law". Joseph DeAngelo terrorized California for decades, committing at least 13 murders, over 50 rapes, and 100 burglaries. The horrifying twist? He was a cop himself, using his insider knowledge to evade detection for over 40 years. He was only caught in 2018 through DNA evidence linked to genealogy records. His life as a police officer ironically shielded him from suspicion. (Sources: I'll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara, FBI’s Cold Case Files, The Golden State Killer documentary on HBO).

#2: The Tech Genius Who Played God and Got Away With It 🔬🌍 Enter the controversial world of Dr. Anthony Fauci, the "How the Creator of the Deadliest Virus Was Never Held Accountable". While considered a hero by some, his involvement in controversial viral studies and bioengineering has led to ethical debates and controversies, with critics questioning the consequences of his research. Despite global medical ethics scandals, Fauci has remained a prominent figure in medical research, leading to questions about his role in shaping the course of major viral outbreaks. (Sources: The Invisible Man: Dr. Fauci and the COVID Pandemic, Public Health Crisis: How American Medicine Failed During the Pandemic by Alan Winfree, Pandemics and Political Power by Dr. John J. Smith).

#1: The Notorious Bank Robber Who Masterminded His Escape from Alcatraz ⛓️💨 Witness the legendary escape of John Anglin, Clarence Anglin, and Frank Morris, the "He Broke Out of the World’s Most Infamous Prison and Vanished Without a Trace". In 1962, they pulled off the impossible, escaping from Alcatraz and were never heard from again. Their meticulously planned breakout involved chiseling walls, creating fake heads, and disappearing into the San Francisco Bay. Despite a massive manhunt, their fate remains a mystery, with the FBI still unsure if they survived. (Sources: FBI Files on the Alcatraz Escape, Escape from Alcatraz by J. Campbell, Alcatraz: The Last Escape documentary).

Don't forget the bonus FACT BLAST ZONE villains who also dodged justice! 🔥 From the chilling medical malpractice of Dr. Harold Shipman to the exiled life of Juan Carlos I, the vanishing act of Giorgio Bianchi, and the disappearing loot of John Golding, the world is apparently full of people who can make the long arm of the law look like a toddler’s T-Rex arm. Tune in to GO FACT YOURSELF and prepare to have your faith in the justice system thoroughly shaken! 🎧

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Get ready to dive headfirst into GO FACT YOURSELF's latest truth grenade 💣 as we count down the Top 10 People Who Survived the Impossible… And Then Made It Worse! 🎢 From defying death to face-planting into disaster, these legends of ludicrous decisions didn’t just escape the Grim Reaper once – they high-fived him on the way to making hilariously catastrophic mistakes. It's the ultimate "you had one job!" compilation, seasoned with dark humor and a sprinkle of "what were they THINKING?!" 🤔 Buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's survival guide!

* #10: The Man Who Survived 22,000 Volts… And Tried To Steal A Plane: This Canadian Ken went from twice-struck-by-lightning survivor⚡⚡ to international aviation menace in a bizarre attempt to escape reality. Talk about trading frying pan for the… runaway airplane? ✈️

* #9: The Guy Who Survived A Bungee Jumping Accident… And Then Went To Jail: He plummeted 200 feet on a faulty bungee cord and lived to tell the tale… only to immediately think armed robbery was the next logical step. 🤦‍♂️ Guess surviving broken bones doesn't grant immunity from the law! 🚓

* #8: The Man Who Survived A Shark Attack… And Then Went Shark Hunting: You’d think a Great White chomping on your leg 🦈 would inspire a fear of the deep blue, but not this guy! He went full Captain Ahab on the very creatures that tried to make him chum. Revenge is a dish best served… with harpoons? 🎣

* #7: The Woman Who Survived A Plane Crash… And Then Got Arrested For Drug Smuggling: Think "Alive" meets "Narcos"! ✈️➡️💊 This Andes crash survivor didn't learn a life lesson; she saw her rescue as an opportunity to double down on her international drug-smuggling operation, even hiding contraband in the wreckage! 🏔️

* #6: The Soldier Who Survived A Landmine… Then Got Kicked Out Of The Army For Desertion: From battlefield hero 🎖️ to AWOL zero 💨! This soldier defied explosive odds only to have his post-survival behavior go so sideways he ended up booted from the army. So much for that war movie ending! 🎬

* #5: The Woman Who Survived An Avalanche… And Then Got Trapped In A Second One: Some people are gluttons for punishment… or just really love skiing? ⛷️ After being nearly buried alive in one avalanche, she hit the slopes again in the same mountain range and, you guessed it, round two with a snowy tomb! ❄️❄️

* 💥FACT BLAST ZONE:

* The Man Who Survived A Lightning Strike 7 Times — And Became A Storm Chaser. ⛈️➡️🌪️ Commentary: This guy clearly missed the message of those "Don't Touch That" signs.

* The Woman Who Survived A Snake Bite… And Then Ran A Pet Snake Sanctuary. 🐍➡️❤️ Commentary: Talk about turning your trauma into a… hissing good time?

* The Man Who Survived Falling Off A Cliff… And Then Got Banned From Climbing. 🧗‍♂️➡️🚫 Commentary: Sometimes even the mountains say, "Nope, not again!"

* The Guy Who Survived A Car Explosion… And Then Stole A Car. 💥➡️🚗💨 Commentary: Clearly, surviving one explosion wasn't enough adrenaline for this speed demon.

* The Woman Who Survived A 20-Foot Fall… Then Fell Down The Same Stairs Again. 🤕➡️😵‍💫 Commentary: Is she a survivor or just really needs to watch her step?

Join us for this rollercoaster of ridiculous resilience and monumentally bad decisions! It’s survival of the fittest… to make the worst choices imaginable! Tune in and prepare to say, "GO FACT YOURSELF!" with jaw-dropped amazement! 🎤🎧 Available wherever you get your podcasts! #SurvivalStories #EpicFails #DarkHumor #TrueStories #Podcast #Top10 #MindBlown #WTF #YouCantMakeThisStuffUp #GOFACTYOURSELF

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

✨ The Grim Reaper called. They hit snooze. ✨

This ain't your grandma's dusty history lecture, fam! 🤯 Welcome to a survival story smackdown so epic, it makes Liam Neeson look like he needs a nap! 🚑💨 Get ready for GO FACT YOURSELF, the podcast that's tougher than a honey badger in a titanium tank, as we unleash the "Top 10 People Who Shouldn't Have Survived… But Absolutely Did"! 💀➡️😂 We're talking death-defying lunatics, cursed survivors, and chaos gremlins in human skin serving up near-death experiences so outrageous they’ll make your morning commute seem like a spa day! 🚗➡️💥 Ever wondered who looked fate in the eye and said, “Nah, I’m good”? 🤔 We’ve got your VIP pass to the most WTF survival stories in human history — tales so bonkers they sound like they were ripped from the fever dream of a caffeinated AI! 🤖✍️ From a spy who literally froze herself back to life in sub-zero Minnesota like a reverse Elsa, becoming the Patron Saint of Forgetting Your Coat (#10 Jean Hilliard - “Hypothermia? I Barely Know Her!”), to a flight attendant who fell 33,000 feet from a mid-air explosion and went on to become a national hero (#9 Vesna Vulović - “She Fell From the Sky… And Got Promoted”), these legends redefine the term “badass”! 💪 We’re not stopping there! Witness the mind-blowing tale of a 19th-century railroad worker who laughed off having an iron rod blasted through his skull (#8 Phineas Gage - “Mike the Headless Chicken Wasn’t the Only One”) – talk about a cranial cruise missile! 🚀 Then there’s the absolute mad lad known as the “British Rasputin,” a soldier wounded in EVERY war he fought who once tore off his own fingers because the doc was too slow (#7 Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart - “They Called Him The British Rasputin”)! This is just the beginning, folks! 💥 Prepare your disbelief for Poon Lim, the shipwrecked steward who survived 133 days adrift in the Atlantic by MacGyvering survival tools from a flashlight wire and fighting off sharks (#6 Poon Lim - “Your Weekly Reminder That Poseidon Hates Australians”)! Next up, meet the real-life “final girl” of the Edwardian seas who survived not one, but THREE major ship disasters, including the Titanic and its sister ship, the Britannic (#5 Violet Jessop - “Iceberg? I Don’t Even Go Here.”)! Can you even?! 🚢➡️🧊➡️💣 Then we’ve got the Japanese soldier who was SO committed to his mission, he stayed hidden and fighting for 29 YEARS after WWII ended (#4 Hiroo Onoda - “The War’s Over… But My Paranoia Isn’t”) – talk about missing the memo! 📝 Brace yourselves for the mountaineer who was left for dead TWICE on Mount Everest, froze half his face off, and then casually walked back to camp (#3 Beck Weathers - “Do Not Try This at 22,000 Feet”)! Our runner-up is the human lightning rod who got struck by lightning SEVEN TIMES and lived to tell the (shocking) tale (#2 Roy Sullivan - “Shock Me Once, Shame on You…”)! And finally, taking the top spot is the pilot who landed a crashing jet with NO ENGINE POWER and zero hydraulics, saving 184 souls in a feat of pure aviation wizardry (#1 Captain Alfred C. Haynes - “Sully Before Sully Was Sully”)! But wait, there’s more! 🎁 Our Fact Blast Zone is overflowing with even MORE unbelievable survival stories, including a guy skewered by a swordfish who still fishes, a teenage French girl who took out Nazis, Juliane Koepcke’s incredible jungle trek after a plane crash, astronauts struck by lightning TWICE on launch, a skydiver saved by fire ant bites, Howard Blackburn’s legendary row, Annie Edson Taylor’s barrel ride over Niagara Falls, Joe Simpson’s mountain crawl, Tsutomu Yamaguchi’s double atomic bomb survival, Aron Ralston’s arm removal, Bailey the Wonder Dog’s nine lives, and astronaut Gregory C. Johnson’s Mach 3 ejection! This episode is a non-stop thrill ride through the annals of human resilience, proving that sometimes, life is stranger (and tougher) than fiction! 🎧🔥 Don't miss this epic countdown on GO FACT YOURSELF – where the facts are always unbelievable, and the survival stories are straight-up legendary! 🌟

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Buckle up buttercups, because GO FACT YOURSELF is diving headfirst into the historical hall of fame of head cases! 🤯 We’re serving up the "Top 10 Times World Leaders Absolutely Lost Their Damn Minds" – a countdown so bonkers, it’ll make you question if sanity has ever graced the halls of power. 🏰👑 From ancient emperors with more drama than a reality TV show to modern dictators whose grip on reality was looser than a toddler's grip on a melting ice cream cone 🍦, we’re exposing the moments when the people in charge went full-on gonzo. This ain't your grandma's dusty history lesson; we’re talking epic fails, bizarre beliefs, and decisions so WTF they’d make a sphinx raise an eyebrow. 🤔 Get ready for a rollercoaster of royal rants, presidential pouts, and tyrannical tantrums that prove power doesn’t always come with a therapist. 🗣️🛋️ Join us as we count down the crème de la crazy, the top-tier turmoil, the ten times world leaders decided to rewrite the history books with their sheer, unadulterated madness. This episode is more addictive than scrolling through Twitter during a political crisis 📱 and more shocking than finding out your cat has a secret TikTok account 🐈. Prepare to have your historical horizons hilariously and horrifyingly expanded! 🚀

Here's the breakdown of the descent into delirium:

* #10: The Pope Who Dug Up His Predecessor’s Corpse to Put Him on Trial: We're kicking things off Vatican style with "Weekend at Bernie's: Vatican Edition". Pope Stephen VI decided that dead popes also deserve their day in court, exhuming Formosus, dressing him up, and staging a truly ghastly trial. Apparently, bad blood in the clergy lasts beyond the grave. Forget Law & Order, this was Law & Decomposition: Special Cadaver Unit.

* #9: Muammar Gaddafi’s All-Female Virgin Bodyguard Squad: Libya’s leading man went full Bond villain (minus the suave) with his “Beyoncé meets Blackwater in the worst possible timeline” security detail. These elite female fighters were sworn to chastity and trained to kill, all under the watchful eye of a dictator whose personal life was as surreal as a Salvador Dalí painting. It was less "girl power" and more "weapons-grade trauma," like the Spice Girls directed by the Hostel crew.

* #8: Emperor Caligula Appointed His Horse to the Senate: Ancient Rome’s resident wild child asked, “Neigh means neigh, Caligula,” and then promptly ignored it. Caligula loved his horse, Incitatus, so much he gave him a mansion and a potential seat in the Roman Senate. Was it satire or just straight-up crazy? History’s still placing bets. Roman politics were already a circus, but Caligula brought the whole damn stable.

* #7: President Lyndon B. Johnson Had Meetings on the Toilet… While Pooping: LBJ took “commander-in-chief” to a whole new (and fragrant) level with “Executive Orders? More like Executive Odors”. He ran the free world from his porcelain throne, holding briefings and signing bills while, well, you know. Multitasking on God mode? More like multitasking on commode mode.

* #6: King Charles VI Thought He Was Made of Glass: France’s fragile monarch experienced a royal rumble with reality, leading to the summary “France is canceled because the King might shatter”. Charles VI genuinely believed he was made of glass and wore iron-reinforced clothing to prevent shattering. Imagine medieval HR dealing with that.

* #5: Tsar Peter III Declared War on… Denmark. Then Got Distracted by Toy Soldiers: Russia’s Prussian-obsessed ruler essentially “Russia’s Emperor Rage Quit Reality,” declaring war on an ally to flex his toy soldiers. He spent more time playing with tin troops than governing, leading to a Catherine the Great-shaped plot twist. It's like if your president replaced the army with Nerf guns and then wandered off to play violin.

* #4: Emperor Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned (And Also Killed His Mom): The original firestarter provided the iconic summary: “The OG Firestarter”. Nero allegedly played music while Rome burned and then blamed it on Christians, all after a delightful attempt to off his mother with a collapsible boat. His vibe was less "live, laugh, love" and more "murder, arson, and theater kid energy".

* #3: Idi Amin Sent the Queen of England a Love Letter (and Her Corgis Too): Uganda’s eccentric dictator, known for less-than-friendly habits, offered a bizarre display of affection with “To Her Majesty… and Her Majestic Little Dogs”. Idi Amin sent Queen Elizabeth II a Valentine’s letter declaring his “deep affection” for her and her corgis, all while holding a rather… unique leadership style back home. It’s like Hannibal Lecter writing fan mail to Paddington Bear.

* #2: Emperor Qin Shi Huang Tried to Become Immortal… and Accidentally Killed Himself: China’s first emperor’s quest for eternal life took a fatal turn with “Eat Mercury, Live Forever — What Could Go Wrong?”. Obsessed with immortality, Qin Shi Huang consumed mercury “elixirs” and died in the process. If Elon Musk drank thermometers and built a Tomb Raider level to die in, you’d get Qin.

* #1: The Time President Andrew Jackson Beat a Would-Be Assassin… With His Cane: Old Hickory proved he was his own Secret Service in “History’s Pettiest Street Fighter”. When a gunman’s pistols misfired, the 67-year-old President Jackson beat him senseless with his cane. This man’s motto was clearly, “I am the Secret Service”.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

GO FACT YOURSELF is back with a vengeance, tackling the top 10 most unbelievably bizarre sports that actually exist (and have real, possibly unhinged, fans)! 🤪 Forget your mundane Monday night football—we're diving headfirst into a world where the phrase "that's not a sport, that's a cry for help in spandex" takes on a whole new meaning. 💪 Join us as we count down the athletic endeavors that didn’t just fall through the cracks of history but cannonballed into the absurd. Get ready for a wild ride through sweaty, violent, and gloriously stupid competitions that make you question everything you thought you knew about human (and sometimes animal!) endeavor.

Here's the rundown of the madness we're unleashing:

* #10: Chess Boxing 🧠🥊 Where strategy nerds and gym rats finally made peace (by punching each other between chess moves)! You lose if you're knocked out or checkmated — whichever comes first. Originating in a comic book and made real in Berlin, fighters alternate between boxing and chess rounds. Governed by the WCBO with actual referees and weight classes, it's the "ultimate test of brain and brawn". Just ask Nikolay “The Gravedigger” Sazhin, who lost by checkmate. It's popular in Germany, the UK, and India, and some spectators find it "weirdly erotic". (Sponsored by the International Federation of WTH)

* #9: Ferret Legging 👖🐾 Because men in 1970s Yorkshire were too proud to die peacefully! It involves two live ferrets, one pair of pants, and zero dignity. The jaw-dropper? The world record is five hours and thirty minutes of ferrets gnawing your inner thighs! Born among coal miners in Yorkshire, competitors drop ferrets into baggy trousers sealed at the ankles and waist. No underwear is allowed, and gentleness is illegal. Legend Reg Mellor called it “a noble sport for men with steel nerves and rubber genitals”. (We now return to your regularly scheduled head trauma…)

* #8: Extreme Ironing 👕⛰️ Domestic chores meet death-wish escapism! It’s exactly what it sounds like — people ironing shirts while hanging off cliffs or surfing waves. One man ironed a shirt at the summit of Everest, and another underwater with sharks! Founded by Phil Shaw (“Steam”) in 1997, the Extreme Ironing Bureau held competitions judged on creases, location difficulty, and style. Locations include treetops, moving cars, bungee jumps, and frozen lakes. Imagine explaining to your ER doctor that your third-degree burns came from ironing at 10,000 feet! (Sound Cue Ideas: Iron hiss for Extreme Ironing)

* #7: Buzkashi 🐴🐐 Afghanistan’s national sport of goat-carcass polo! Horse-mounted men fight over a dead, headless goat—like rugby invented by warlords. Some matches last several days and include full-on riots! Played across Central Asia, riders (chapandaz) drag the carcass and try to hurl it into a goal. The goat is prepared for durability. Traditionally teamless, it’s so intense the Taliban banned it (then reinstated it). (GO FACT YOURSELF Moments: A national sport built entirely around dead goats)

* #6: Shin Kicking 🦵🤕 British men in white coats beating the crap out of each other’s legs! Two people with straw-stuffed pants kick each other’s shins until someone collapses. It's been a formal sport since 1612! Originating in the Cotswold Olimpick Games, participants hold each other and deliver bone-shattering kicks. Matches are judged by “sticklers”. Many suffer permanent leg damage. Still played today at rural festivals with first aid and beer on standby. Britain: inventors of tea, irony, and shin-based torture ceremonies.

* #5: Sepak Takraw 🦶⚽️ Volleyball, but it’s played with your feet and black magic! Imagine volleyball meets kung fu—Southeast Asian players bicycle-kick a rattan ball like it owes them money. Players have broken noses, jaws, and physics! Originating in the 15th century in the Malay Peninsula (“Sepak” = kick, “Takraw” = ball), players can only use feet, head, knees, and chest. Top players can spike at 120 km/h. Thailand and Malaysia lead, and matches can start with sacred dances. If regular volleyball is beachy fun, Sepak Takraw is a roundhouse kick to your self-esteem.

* #4: Unicycle Hockey 🏑🚴 Because nothing says ‘team sport’ like a Cirque du Soleil injury risk! Hockey. On unicycles. With rules no one fully understands and regularly broken bones. The German national team trains by unicycling through forest obstacle courses! It’s real, regulated, and has a World Cup. Rules are based on ice hockey with plastic sticks and a tennis ball, played 5v5. Balance is crucial. Famous team: The WUKOGAWA. Found in Germany, Switzerland, and New Zealand; Canada refuses it for “national dignity”. It’s the only sport where the penalty box has a unicycle rack.

* #3: Cheese Rolling 🧀🤕 Where the cheese runs faster than you! Hundreds hurl themselves down a death-trap hill to chase a 9lb wheel of cheese. Annual injuries include broken spines and unconsciousness, and the cheese wins every year! Held at Cooper’s Hill, UK, participants sprint down a steep hill. The cheese is Double Gloucester and heavy enough to concuss. Cheese speeds reach 70 mph. The winner gets the cheese. Current champ Chris Anderson has won 23 times and broken almost every bone. (Sound Cue Ideas: Cheesy splat for Cheese Rolling)

* #2: Underwater Hockey 🏒<0xF0><0x9F><0xA4><0xBF> The sport that proves drowning is a team effort! Players in snorkels push a lead puck across the bottom of a pool. Matches are entirely underwater, and players must surface to breathe constantly. Invented by British Navy divers, it was originally called “Octopush”. Each team has 6 players with subs. Equipment includes fins, snorkels, mouthguards, gloves, and tiny sticks. The lead puck can cause injuries. Players develop terrifying lung capacity. Watching it live? Expect bubbles, a splash, and maybe an ambulance. (Sound Cue Ideas: Underwater gurgle for Octopush)

* #1: Camel Wrestling 🐫🤼‍♀️ Turkey’s majestic, foaming, camel-on-camel throwdown! Two male camels battle during mating season while fans bet and cheer. If one camel runs away, it’s a win! Practiced for over a thousand years in Turkey’s Aegean region, camels are bred for this. Matches happen during mating season with a female camel sometimes paraded to rile them up. Camels use neck wrestling and side throws and can weigh over 1,500 lbs. It's steeped in tradition despite its primal vibe. If you think WWE is dramatic, try watching two hormonal camels square up. (Goat bleats for Buzkashi)

(Running Jokes: Sponsored by the International Federation of WTH)

Get ready to have your mind blown and your funny bone tickled. Tune in to GO FACT YOURSELF for a deep dive into the wonderfully weird world of bizarre sports! 🎧

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

🚨 Get ready to have your perception of the animal kingdom flipped upside down like a hijacked tourist car! 🚗💨 Welcome to a WILDLY UNPREDICTABLE episode of GO FACT YOURSELF, where we ditch the cute cat videos 😻 and dive headfirst into the criminal underworld of our furry, scaly, and feathered counterparts! This ain't your grandma's nature documentary 🐾🎬—we're talking stone-cold outlaws with more cunning than a caffeinated squirrel 🐿️ and more audacity than a seagull at a picnic 🥪. Prepare for the TOP 10 ANIMALS THAT COMMITTED CRIMES AND (MOSTLY) GOT AWAY WITH IT, a countdown so jaw-dropping 😲, you’ll be side-eyeing your own pet by the end! This episode is packed with unbelievable true animal crime stories, perfect for true crime addicts 🔪, animal lovers ❤️, and anyone who enjoys a healthy dose of "wait, WHAT?!" 🤯 Buckle up buttercup, it's about to get feral!

Here’s the dirt on our top offenders:

#10: The Octopus That Shut Down a German Aquarium’s Entire Power Grid 🐙💡🚫. This eight-legged электромонтер named Otto wasn't about escaping; he was about sabotage. Discover how this cephalopod mastermind deliberately short-circuited the aquarium's power by squirting water at overhead lights repeatedly. Otto had a history of antisocial behavior, including juggling hermit crabs and throwing a football at a staff member. Caretakers believed he intentionally targeted the central power grid bulbs, leading to late-night stakeouts to catch him in the act. He also climbed out of his tank to raid neighboring exhibits and even sprayed CCTV cameras with water. This aquatic agent of chaos was so notorious, he earned a private memorial after his death.

#9: The Cat That Stole Hundreds of Pieces of Underwear 🐾👙🩲🧦. Meet Dusty from San Mateo, CA, a feline kleptomaniac who burglarized over 600 items, mostly lingerie and socks. Caught on thermal camera sneaking through yards with stolen thongs, Dusty was a true "black market kingpin" 👑. His nightly heists prompted a neighborhood town hall after his owners discovered piles of mysterious clothing. Despite being exposed on ABC News with night-vision footage showing him dragging bras across lawns, Dusty showed zero remorse and even increased activity. This purr-petrator inspired children’s books and fan art, solidifying his legend as the ultimate panty pilferer.

#8: The Goat That Got Arrested for Armed Robbery in Nigeria 🐐👮‍♂️💰. In a bizarre twist of fate (or perhaps magic?), Nigerian police arrested a goat on suspicion of armed robbery in 2009 after locals claimed a thief transformed into the goat to escape. The authorities held the goat in custody for 3 days on charges of “attempted armed robbery via black magic”. This unbelievable case involved vigilantes, a paraded goat in hoofcuffs, and a national debate fueled by local belief in "juju". Despite being quietly released without charges, the mystery of the real robber—and the goat's true identity—remains unsolved. Was it really a goat? 🤔 This bleating bandit remains an enigma.

But wait, there’s more felonious fauna in our FACT BLAST ZONE 💥! A swearing parrot in India was detained for two years of verbal abuse. A monkey gang in Thailand ran a protection racket, demanding goods from shopkeepers. A Florida raccoon pulled off a Krispy Kreme heist, stealing hundreds of donuts. In 18th-century France, a dog was tried and executed for murder. A swarm of bees was charged with “murder” in Brazil. And a South African baboon hijacked a tourist car, enjoyed a banana, and left his mark on the dashboard.

GO FACT YOURSELF: Where the unbelievable is always on the top of our list! 🎤🔥 Subscribe now and never miss a truth grenade! 💣

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Billionaires behaving badly with their bios, because apparently, "you only live once" is for the poors.

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Podcast Title: GO FACT YOURSELF Tagline: Top 10 Lists. Zero Apologies. Description: Buckle up, buttercups, because GO FACT YOURSELF is back with an episode that’s richer and weirder than a Saudi prince’s shopping spree! 🤑 This week, we’re diving headfirst into the opulent abyss of the "Top 10 Times Rich People Tried to Cheat Death… And Hacked Reality Instead" 💀➡️✨. Forget your basic will and testament; these titans of industry, royalty with a rampage, and straight-up eccentric extraordinaires weren't content with mere millions – they wanted FOREVER. And their methods? Let’s just say they make Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness routine look like amateur hour. 🧖‍♀️➡️🧪

Prepare your disbelief as we count down the crème de la creep of history’s most unhinged attempts to outsmart the Grim Reaper. From cryogenic calamities to consciousness uploads that probably just created sentient spam, we’re unpacking the madness, the money, and the occasional… accidental reality hack. 🤔 Did they succeed? Well, some got their heads frozen in Arizona, so you be the judge! 🧊🌵

Here’s the juicy breakdown of the Top 10 times the ultra-wealthy gave death the middle finger (sometimes literally):

#10: “The Casino Tycoon Who Became a Desert Mummy” 🎰🏜️ We kick things off with the legendary Howard Hughes, the reclusive billionaire aviator who went full cryptid in his final years. Locked away, obsessed with germs, injecting himself with experimental concoctions, and rocking tissue boxes as footwear, Hughes basically turned his penthouse into a biohazard zone in his desperate attempt to extend his "brilliance". He died so unrecognizable, the FBI needed fingerprints to confirm it. Talk about an Obsessive-Death-Avoidance Disorder™️! GO FACT Commentary: Imagine being so rich you can become a real-life urban legend.

#9: “The Playboy Who Froze His Head in Arizona” 👨‍🦳🧊 Arizona just got a whole lot cooler (literally!) thanks to James Bedford, the psychology professor who became history's first human popsicle in 1967. This OG cryonaut is still in "suspension" at Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Arizona, hoping future science can hit Ctrl+Z on death. For a cool $80k, you too can have budget immortality – just the head though! GO FACT Commentary: His brain is older than dial-up internet, still waiting for the respawn button.

#8: “The Pharaoh Who Staged His Own Immortality Ad Campaign” 👑🛂 Even in death, some people just have it. Take Ramses II, the Egyptian Pharaoh who, in 1974, got a legit passport to travel to Paris for preservation – occupation: KING (DECEASED). This wasn't just about crossing borders; it was a flex on mortality itself, complete with full military honors upon arrival. GO FACT Commentary: History’s first influencer mummy with better paperwork than your student loans.

#7: “The Heiress Who Drank Gold to Live Forever” 🧛‍♀️✨ Move over, Goop! Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Báthory, notorious for her alleged virgin blood baths, also dabbled in the medieval trend of drinking colloidal gold, a supposed elixir of eternal youth that mostly delivered metal poisoning. Legend says she offed 600+ girls for "blood rejuvenation". GO FACT Commentary: Literally putting the "die" in "dietary supplement". Gwyneth’s jade eggs walked so Elizabeth’s gold shots could run.

#6: “The CEO Who Got Young Blood Transfusions Like a Vampire Tech Bro” 💉👶 Silicon Valley, where "fresh meat" takes on a whole new meaning. Entrepreneur Peter Thiel reportedly showed interest in parabiosis, the transfusion of young blood to older bodies, turning mouse study buzz into potential vampirism. The startup "Ambrosia" even charged a hefty $8,000 per liter for that sweet teenage plasma, before the FDA rained on their parade with a warning. GO FACT Commentary: There’s a guy in Palo Alto with a fridge full of college sophomore blood. Sleep tight!. Gen Z skipped buying houses so billionaires could sip their plasma like a fine Cabernet.

#5: “The Dictator Who Built a City for Ghosts” 🇹🇲👻 Turkmenistan’s self-proclaimed "Turkmenbashi," Saparmurat Niyazov, took the whole "legacy" thing to a bizarre extreme. He tried to rewrite reality and built Ashgabat, a gleaming white marble city, hoping its sterile perfection would somehow ward off death. He renamed months after his family, banned hospitals outside the capital, and declared his own book, Ruhnama, holy scripture, requiring daily readings for government employees as a supposed ticket to heaven. GO FACT Commentary: Imagine if Jeff Bezos declared The 4-Hour Workweek the new Bible and built a city made of Alexa devices. Death didn’t take Niyazov; it just got bored waiting for the Ruhnama sequel.

**#4: “The Millionaire Who Swapped Bodies (Or So He Claimed)”**👽💨 The founder of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, didn’t just promise enlightenment; he allegedly told his inner circle he was ditching his "broken-down vehicle" of a body to return in a new, improved model with extra powers. He "died" in 1986, but followers were told he just moved to a "higher operating level". Rumors of a "new Hubbard" swirled, and Scientology HQ allegedly still keeps a house ready for his grand re-entrance. GO FACT Commentary: This is what happens when a con artist gets cosmic ambition. “I didn’t die, I just rage-quit this mortal realm and will respawn in patch 2.0”.

#3: “The Russian Billionaire Who Wanted a Robot Body by 2045” 🤖🧠 Meet Dmitry Itskov, the Russian media mogul who launched the 2045 Initiative with the goal of achieving cybernetic immortality by uploading his consciousness into an android by 2045. His ambitious plan involved remote-controlled avatars, brain transplants into synthetic bodies, and ultimately becoming an iCloud ghost of Moscow. GO FACT Commentary: The man basically tried to become a playable character in Cyberpunk 2077. If anyone needs antivirus software for the soul, it’s this guy.

#2: “The Empress Who Ate Mercury to Become a God” 👑💀 China’s first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, was so obsessed with immortality that he commissioned alchemists to find the elixir of life. Spoiler alert: it was mostly liquid mercury, and he drank a whole lot of it. While he did order the creation of thousands of terracotta warriors to protect his undead rule, his mercury-based immortality pills likely did the exact opposite. GO FACT Commentary: The dude poisoned himself trying to become a god. Peak rich guy move. On the bright side: his grave is still literally radioactive. So… mission half-accomplished?.

#1: “The Silicon Valley Vampire Who Declared Himself Immortal (and Sued Anyone Who Disagreed)” 🧛‍♂️🩸 Topping our list is Bryan Johnson, the founder of Braintree, who spends a cool $2 million a year on Project Blueprint, his quest to reverse his biological age to 18. His regimen includes lasers, sound therapy, over 100 pills a day, and – wait for it – plasma infusions from his teenage son. He even sued critics who called his methods "dangerous vampirism". GO FACT Commentary: Rich dude tries to scientifically reverse puberty while casually being the world’s most ethical Dracula. If your dad asked for your blood to look hotter, would you say no? Asking for literally no reason.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of bizarre billionaire behavior! We also have quick hits in our 💥FACT BLAST ZONE💥, including the Chinese tech mogul who created a glorified chatbot with $100 million, the enduring myth of Walt Disney’s cryogenic freezing, and the 1920s millionaire who implanted goat testicles for vitality! Plus, did you know a Saudi prince legally banned death on his private island? Or that Steve Jobs was offered "digital reincarnation"? And let’s not forget Russian billionaire Dmitry Itskov’s still-in-progress 2045 Initiative for cybernetic immortality! Even dictators like Nicolas Maduro have gotten in on the immortality game with shrines to "immortal" leaders, and aging actors are shelling out for sheep placenta extracts. The pursuit of eternal life truly knows no bounds (or sanity).

Tune in to GO FACT YOURSELF this week for a deep dive into the hilariously hubristic world of the mega-rich trying to outsmart death. It’s a wild ride filled with more twists than a cryogenic freezer malfunction! 🎧💀💰 #RichPeopleProblems #ImmortalitySeekers #BillionaireMadness #DeathCheats #GOFACTYOURSELF #Podcast #Top10 #WeirdFacts #TrueStories #ComedyPodcast #History

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

TOP 10 Government Secrets Spilled! 🤯 Conspiracy Theories CONFIRMED?! 👽 From Accidental Alien Admissions to Nuclear Near-Misses! 💥 Welcome back to GO FACT YOURSELF—the podcast that dives headfirst into the declassified dumpster fire of American bureaucracy! This week, we're not just reading between the redacted lines, we're throwing the whole damn document into a truth-seeking missile and blasting it into your earholes! Get ready for a countdown so mind-blowing, it’ll make Area 51 look like a petting zoo. We're talking top-secret spills, national embarrassments, and moments when the only appropriate response is a bewildered, "Wait... WHAT?!" Join us as we expose the definitive list of the Top 10 Times the U.S. Government Accidentally Admitted Wild Sh*t (Then Pretended They Didn’t). Lock those digital doors and charge your tinfoil hats, because the truth is stranger (and dumber) than fiction!

Here’s the intel you’ve been waiting for, agents:

* #10: “We Tried to Nuke the Moon… For Vibes”. You read that right! In the Cold War, the U.S. Air Force hatched Project A119 – a plan to detonate a nuclear bomb on the Moon just to show the Soviets who’s boss. Why aim for the stars when you can just blow one up? Jaw-Drop Moment: Even science legend Carl Sagan was briefly involved. Imagine explaining that Nobel Prize acceptance speech!

* #9: “Yes, We Did Try to Mind-Control Cats. No, It Didn’t Work.” Project Acoustic Kitty was the CIA's multi-million dollar attempt to turn feline friends into furry spies by implanting microphones and antennas. Spoiler alert: cats are more interested in catnip than counter-espionage. Jaw-Drop Moment: The first “spy cat” was immediately roadkill. R.I.P. Agent Whiskers – a true Cold War casualty. Your tax dollars at work, folks!

* #8: “We Absolutely Did LSD Mind Experiments. Oops.” Enter MKUltra, the CIA's foray into hallucinogenic head trips and brainwashing attempts on unwitting citizens. Think The Manchurian Candidate meets a bad acid trip. Jaw-Drop Moment: A man named Frank Olson died mysteriously after being secretly dosed with LSD. The CIA’s “oops” came with a $750,000 settlement. Operation Midnight Climax? More like Operation Moral Catastrophe.

* #7: “We’ve Tried Controlling the Weather. And No, It’s Not a Conspiracy.” Project Popeye wasn't about cartoon sailors; it was a real U.S. military operation in the ‘60s and ‘70s to weaponize weather in Vietnam by cloud seeding to flood enemy supply lines. Jaw-Drop Moment: Their slogan was “Make Mud, Not War”. Because apparently, weaponized precipitation is the pacifist approach. Take that, chemtrail truthers (except this one was real!).

* #6: “We Were THIS Close to Using Bomb-Loving Bats in WWII.” Forget drones, World War II almost saw bat battalions armed with tiny incendiary devices unleashed upon Japan. Project X-Ray was peak "thinking outside the box" – if that box was filled with explosive mammals. Jaw-Drop Moment: A test run accidentally torched a U.S. air base. Looks like those bats had a blast!

* #5: “Psychic Spies Are Real and We Funded Them.” Stargate (seriously, that was the name) was a decades-long CIA program where people tried to “see” enemy locations using psychic powers. Remote viewing? Apparently a thing. Jaw-Drop Moment: A viewer accurately described a Soviet military base before satellite confirmation. The CIA's reaction? Utter bewilderment. Turns out, the Force might be with you… and funded by the Pentagon.

* #4: “We Tried to Kill Castro with an Exploding Seashell. No, Really.” Move over, poisoned cigars! Operation Mongoose included a plan to booby-trap a seashell for scuba-diving Fidel Castro. Talk about a shell-shocking assassination attempt. Jaw-Drop Moment: The plan was scrapped because they couldn't find a big enough shell. Not unethical, just bad seashell logistics. Castro: 1, Exploding Mollusks: 0.

* #3: “We Literally Tried to Kill Goats With Our Minds.” Yes, The Men Who Stare at Goats wasn't just a movie – it was real life! The First Earth Battalion explored psychic warfare, including trying to stop a goat's heart with mind power. Jaw-Drop Moment: One soldier claimed to have “momentarily stunned” a goat. The Pentagon: funded by your sanity. Goats: probably unimpressed.

* #2: “Yeah, About Those UFOs… We Don’t Know What They Are Either.” In 2021, the Pentagon finally admitted that Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAPs) are real and perform physics-defying feats. It's the closest we've gotten to an official "aliens maybe?" without a full-scale invasion. Jaw-Drop Moment: The report stated some UAPs demonstrate tech “beyond known U.S. capabilities”. So, either it's aliens, or someone's been playing way too much Kerbal Space Program.

* #1: “We Lost a Nuclear Bomb… And Never Found It.” In 1958, a B-47 bomber accidentally dropped a hydrogen bomb off the coast of Savannah, Georgia, and it's still down there. That’s right, a lost nuke! Jaw-Drop Moment: Locals still swim nearby, and the Air Force says it’s “safe as long as no one disturbs it”. Sweet dreams, America!

So there you have it, folks! Ten times the U.S. government accidentally went full "hold my beer" with classified information. Tune in next week for more mind-bending dives into the data deluge! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and tell your friends – because knowledge is power, and this podcast is like a nuclear reactor of bizarre truths!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

🚨 GET READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND OFFICIALLY BLOWN! 🚨 Welcome back to GO FACT YOURSELF, the podcast that fearlessly tackles the Top 10 lists the internet is too scared to touch! This week, we're strapping on our legal hazmat suits and wading deep into the cesspool of statutory strangeness to bring you the definitive countdown of the “Top 10 Dumbest Laws That Are Somehow Still Real (And Enforced?!)”! 🤪 Yes, you heard that right! Forget your Marvel post-credit scenes; THIS is the real plot twist! From bizarre bans that make you question the sanity of entire nations to archaic rules that time forgot (but the law book didn’t!), we’re uncovering the legislative LOLs that prove lawmakers are just like us… except with the power to outlaw your donkey’s late-night bath! 🛁🐴 So buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into a world where chickens face jail time and reincarnation requires government approval! 🤯 Don't say we didn't warn you – your perception of justice is about to get a serious glow-up (or maybe just a bewildered head-scratch)! 🤔

Here’s the rundown of the ridiculously real legal relics we're dragging into the 21st century:

#10: “No Donkeys in Bathtubs After 7 PM — It’s the Law” (Arizona, USA) Ever wondered if your equine friend is living their best life? Well, in Arizona, that life definitely doesn't involve a post-dusk soak in the tub! 🛀🚫🐴 Apparently, back in 1924 in Kingman, a flooded donkey enjoying a bathtub nap sparked a costly rescue mission. Lawmakers, in their infinite wisdom, decided the only logical solution was a blanket ban on after-dark donkey bathing. Local law enforcement jokes about it, but technically, your long-eared pal could face legal repercussions for a late-night scrub. Source: Arizona State Legislature archives, 1924 session laws; Weird U.S.: Your Travel Guide to America's Local Legends and Best Kept Secrets (Sterling Publishing).

#9: “You Can’t Die in the Houses of Parliament” (London, UK) Talk about dodging your taxes… and the Grim Reaper! 💀🏛️🇬🇧 Dying in the UK’s Parliament isn’t technically a criminal offense, but it's a bureaucratic no-no because it supposedly triggers a state funeral. This urban legend-turned-legal-quandary suggests anyone croaking in Parliament is under royal protection. While officials in 2007 called it more tradition than law, there are reports of staff being instructed to remove ill visitors "just in case". Sources: The Guardian, "The Law of Dying in Parliament," 2007; BBC News archives, “Parliament Myths Debunked” (2010).

#8: “It’s Illegal to Be Drunk in a Pub (UK)” Cheers… but not too much! 🍻🚫🇬🇧 In a twist that would make even the most seasoned pub crawler do a double-take, Section 12 of the Licensing Act 1872 makes it illegal to be "drunk on licensed premises" in the UK. This Victorian-era law aimed to curb public disorder is still technically on the books. Police have even run campaigns reminding people of this very sobering fact. Pub owners are obligated to refuse service to the tipsy, creating a hilarious paradox. Sources: UK Licensing Act 1872; Devon & Cornwall Police public advisory, 2018; The Telegraph, "The UK's Weirdest Laws," 2020.

#7: “No Chewing Gum Allowed! (Singapore)” Minty fresh breath… at what cost?! 🍬🚫🇸🇬 Singapore's infamous chewing gum ban, in place since 1992 (except for medicinal gum), carries hefty fines for selling or importing. The ban arose after vandals used gum to disrupt the MRT system. Fines can reach a staggering $100,000 SGD, or even two years in the clink! Tourists usually get a pass, but some have faced the sticky consequences. Sources: Singapore Ministry of Law, Public Order Act; Time magazine, "Singapore's Sticky Situation," 2004; BBC News, "Singapore Softens Gum Ban," 2004.

#6: “Do NOT Reincarnate Without Government Permission (China, Tibet)” Your next life… brought to you by the state! 🔄🛂🇨🇳 China’s State Religious Affairs Bureau Order No. 5 (2007) mandates that Tibetan Buddhist lamas must get government approval to reincarnate. This surreal law aims to control Tibetan Buddhism and the Dalai Lama's succession. Without permission, any claimed reincarnation is deemed illegal. The Dalai Lama himself found the humor in this, quipping about bureaucrats knowing more than Buddha. Sources: China’s State Religious Affairs Bureau Order No. 5 (2007); Foreign Policy, "China's Bureaucratic Reincarnation," 2011; The Economist, "Who Owns the Dalai Lama?" (2015).

#5: “Flushing After 10 PM? Not in Switzerland!” Silence of the… commodes? 🚽🤫🇨🇭 In some Swiss apartments, flushing the toilet after 10 PM is considered noise pollution and can lead to fines. This stems from strict Swiss tenant laws emphasizing peace and quiet in communal living. While modern plumbing makes it less of an issue, the rule persists in local lore. Sources: Swiss Tenancy Law Guidelines, Zurich Canton, 2019; The Local Switzerland, "What Are Switzerland’s Weirdest Laws?", 2020.

#4: “Walking a Lion on the Sidewalk? That’s a Fine.” (France) Keep your Simba indoors! 🦁🚫🇫🇷 It’s illegal in France to stroll down the sidewalk with your pet lion. While the law targets "wild animals," lions get a special mention. This law arose from a time when exotic pets, including lions, were more common in Paris. Article R411-31 of the French environmental code prohibits walking "wild animals dangerous to people". Even circus lions need to be transported securely. Sources: French Environmental Code R411-31; Le Monde, "Exotic Pets: A Parisian Problem," 2019.

#3: “Married Women: Permission to Wear False Teeth (Vermont, USA)” Smile if you dare… but only with your husband's permission! 😁✍️🇺🇸 A bizarre Vermont law technically requires a married woman to have her husband’s written consent to get dentures. Rooted in 18th-century patriarchal views about marital finances, the law is thankfully unenforced today. Some believe it was intended to prevent marital fraud. Sources: Vermont State Law archives, pre-Civil War statutes; Vermont Historical Society Journal, 2005.

#2: “Your Chicken Crossed the Road? That’s Jail Time. (Georgia, USA)” Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a fugitive! 🐔🚧👮 In Quitman, Georgia, it's illegal for chickens to cross the road. This law aimed to prevent poultry-related traffic accidents, and yes, citations have been issued. Quitman city ordinances mandate that poultry be kept securely penned. Animal control officers treat loose chickens as public safety threats. Sources: Quitman City Ordinance, 2009 revision; Georgia Legal Review, "Fowl Play: The Chicken Laws of Georgia," 2017.

#1: “No Pretending to Be a Psychic in Maryland” Sorry, Madam Eva, Baltimore's got receipts! 🔮🚫🇺🇸 Baltimore bans fortune-telling under anti-fraud statutes. In 2008, a fortune-teller was arrested for predicting love and lottery wins for cash. Section 4-901 of the Baltimore Code targets those "falsely pretending to forecast future events". Sting operations have busted fake psychics preying on the vulnerable. While some argue it violates free speech, courts have upheld it as consumer protection. Sources: Baltimore Code, Section 4-901; Baltimore Sun, "Psychic Fined for Fraud," 2010; Maryland State Bar Association, "Fortune-Telling and the Law," 2013.

BONUS FACT BLAST ZONE! 💥 Did you think the weirdness ended there? Think again! In Western Australia, hoarding more than 50kg of potatoes is illegal. In Denmark, you must do a child-check under your car before starting it. Stepping on money in Thailand is a criminal offense (respect the monarchy!). And in Milan, Italy, a 19th-century ordinance requires you to smile in public places! Finally, in Canada’s national parks, scaring a child intentionally is against the law. You’ve been warned!

So, join us as we navigate this legal labyrinth of lunacy, questioning everything you thought you knew about the long arm of the law! Is this weirder than a donkey in a bathtub? Honestly, debatable. Tune in now before you accidentally break some forgotten statute! 😉 #WeirdLaws #StupidLaws #FunnyLaws #LegalComedy #Podcast #Top10 #GoFactYourself #ComedyPodcast #LawAndOrder #BizarreLaws #MindBlown #FactCheck #Trivia #FunnyFacts #Arizona #UK #Singapore #China #Switzerland #France #Vermont #Georgia #Maryland

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com

Spectral Séances and Sinister Souvenirs: This Ain't Your Basic Boo!

🚨 Get ready to have your earthly tether severed as GO FACT YOURSELF dives headfirst into the spectral cesspool of America's most haunted locations! 😱 Forget dusty mansions and whispering portraits, we're talking prisons with phantom inmates, hotels where the despair is Michelin-star rated, and amusement parks where the only thrill is existential dread! 🎢💀 Join us as we count down the definitive Top 10 Haunted Places in the USA that will burrow into your brain like a demonic earworm, leaving you questioning every creak and shadow! 🔦 From cursed beer money to dolls with serious Twitter beef, we're serving up a potent cocktail of true crime chills, ghostly giggles (of terror!), and government conspiracy whispers! 🤫 So grab your sage, your snacks, and maybe a therapist on speed dial, because we're about to get seriously weird! 👽

#10: The House That Stared Back – The Lemp Mansion (St. Louis, MO) 🍺🛁💀 It’s not just haunted — it’s cursed by beer money, bathtubs, and some of the creepiest family annihilation vibes in American history. Prepare for jaw-drops like the fact that four family members died by suicide… in the same house. One by gunshot in a bathtub. Another shot himself in the heart… after hearing phantom footsteps. It’s like "Succession,” if Logan Roy were a ghost and the board meetings were seances. Sources: Missouri History Museum Archives, HauntedRoadTrip.com, St. Louis Paranormal Society.

#9: The Ghost Jail Where Inmates Still Rattle the Bars – Eastern State Penitentiary (Philadelphia, PA) ⛓️👻🤫 Designed to “reform” prisoners through solitude and silence, it’s also known as the place where Al Capone claimed he was haunted by the screams of victims. Brace yourself for reports from visitors who hear whispering, see shadowy figures, and one guy fainted after seeing a “face melt out of the wall.”. Imagine trying to do yoga in a room where Capone’s ghost is crying about his tax returns. Sources: Smithsonian Channel, Ghost Hunters S02E03, Philly.com Historical Crime Files.

#8: The Demon-Fueled Denny’s of the West – Hotel Monte Vista (Flagstaff, AZ) 🛎️👁️‍🗨️🍹 Drifters, bank robbers, and Prohibition spirits… and no, not just the booze — actual spirits! Did you know that one room is haunted by a phantom bellboy who knocks... and then enters? Or that another room has a woman who sits and stares. For hours. At you. While you're sleeping.? It’s Airbnb, but your host is already dead and left the door open. Sources: Flagstaff Ghost Walk Oral Histories, Travel Channel’s Most Terrifying Places.

#7: The Theme Park That Refuses to Die – Lake Shawnee Amusement Park (West Virginia) 🎡👧🏻<0xF0><0x9F><0x95><0xB3> A literal ancient burial ground turned playground where six kids died. Then the owners just… locked the gates and let the ghosts babysit. Prepare for the chilling tale of a girl in a pink dress who haunts the swings. One psychic said she “felt every death at once” and then vomited for 43 minutes straight. Remember, carnivals are already terrifying. Add ghosts and rusty clown heads, and you’ve got trauma on a loop. Sources: Buzzfeed Unsolved, West Virginia Archives & History, Local News Archives 1959.

#6: The Phantom Punchline – Comedy Store Basement (Los Angeles, CA) 🎤🥶👻 Before it was a comedy club, it was a mob hangout. Now it’s a vortex of voices, cold spots, and ghostly hecklers. Get ready for the awkwardness: comedians report being “touched” mid-set. One felt a freezing hand on his shoulder and said, “I thought that joke killed, not me.”. Because nothing’s worse than ghosts judging your tight five, except maybe bombing so hard you get booed from beyond the grave. Sources: Comedy Store Interviews Archive, L.A. Haunts Podcast, Paranormal LA YouTube Channel.

#5: The Lighthouse Where the Light Never Leaves – St. Augustine Lighthouse (Florida) 💡👧👧🏻🌊 A 165-year-old beacon crawling with ghost girls who drowned during construction. They now giggle from the top of the stairs… where no one is standing. Feel the dread as guests feel pulled toward the spiral stair drop-off. One ranger even said he was “held in place” by invisible hands for two full minutes. Ah, Florida: where even the lighthouses are emotionally unstable. Sources: Ghost Hunters Live, Florida Heritage Society, St. Augustine Lighthouse Paranormal Logbook.

#4: The Doll That Tweets From Hell – The Key West Doll (Robert the Doll) 🧸✉️😈 The creepiest toy in America. Lives in a glass box and will curse you if you take a picture without asking. He’s so notorious, he has received over 1,000 apology letters. Museum staff report electronics malfunctioning, people passing out, and letters begging forgiveness. This doll has more passive-aggressive power than your ex’s Instagram stories. Sources: Key West Art & Historical Society, “Haunted Objects” by Chris Balzano, Vice article: “The Doll That Destroys Lives”.

#3: The Church Where Hell Went to Pray – Stull Cemetery (Kansas) ✝️🔥💨 Small town graveyard rumored to contain a literal gateway to Hell. The rumors are so intense, even the Pope avoided flying over it. Witness the bizarre: a ruined church in the center has no roof but stays bone-dry in storms. And the truly unsettling: one man disappeared during a midnight ritual. Like… poof.. Apparently, this Midwest town is so boring, Satan moved in just to spice it up. Sources: University of Kansas Folklore Studies, Reddit/r/NoSleep Verified Story, Lawrence County Paranormal Society.

#2: The Hotel That Eats You – The Cecil Hotel (Los Angeles, CA) 🏨🔪💀 Home to serial killers, suicides, and mysterious deaths. Elisa Lam’s case alone made it global. Get ready for the grim details: Richard Ramirez (a.k.a. the Night Stalker) lived here during his killing spree. So did Austrian killer Jack Unterweger… who strangled women with his own shoelaces. The only hotel where the Yelp reviews are like, “Great location, but I was murdered.”. Sources: Netflix's “Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel”, LAPD crime archives, L.A. Times digital morgue.

#1: The Building the Government Pretends Isn’t Haunted – Waverly Hills Sanatorium (Louisville, KY) 🏥<0xF0><0x9F><0xAA><0xA8>👻 A staggering 63,000 TB patients died here. Expect tales of shadow people, disembodied screams, and a death tunnel that ends in pitch-black silence. Chillingly, nurses were found hanging in empty rooms. “Room 502” is now so infamous, ghost tours sign waivers. And one visitor claimed a voice told them their childhood nickname… which they’d never said aloud. If vibes could kill, this place would be a WMD. Sources: Declassified health inspection records, Ghost Adventures S01E05, Louisville Courier-Journal Archives.

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