We had a simple plan, get a little lifted, fire up Gran Turismo, and pretend we’re professional drivers with absolutely zero professional consequences.

Right out the gate I’m rocking the Bomb Magloud with some “cheetah piss,” and we immediately get into that classic pre-race chaos where the lobby fills up, names pop in, and you realize you’re about to share a track with complete strangers who either drive like surgeons or like they’re playing bumper cars at Lagoon. There’s also a quick shoutout to JD Lauridsen,

We start at Nurburgring because we like suffering. The corners are ridiculous, you can’t see into half of them, and the track punishes every ounce of ego you brought with you. Then the real racing talk kicks in, fuel strategy, gas maps, and the depressing realization that one lap can eat a stupid amount of gas if you’re not paying attention.

Naturally, the conversation swerves into real-life car fantasies. I talk about almost driving a Ferrari 458 in Italy, then I see the price, $350 for 15 minutes in a town where you can’t even go over 30 mph. Hard pass. That turns into the Utah legend of the guy who won a Lamborghini from Maverick, took it up the canyon, and totaled it. Power is fun until physics clocks you in the jaw.

Then we hit a surprisingly wholesome moment. I share a Christmas dinner story where grandma is openly talking about gummies helping her sleep, feel calmer, and just handle life better after losing her husband. That’s the kind of cannabis story that sneaks up on you, not hype, just relief.

Back to the race, we’re dialing in wheel settings like stoned pit crew engineers, and the game literally warns that force feedback can cause shocks. Nothing says “relaxing evening” like your steering wheel threatening violence.

And then the rain shows up. Slipstream battles get spicy, “dirty air” becomes the enemy, and Jesse starts giving me “sweet kisses from behind,” which immediately turns into, “do I pay extra, how does this work?” It’s competitive, it’s messy, it’s hilarious, and somehow we keep it together long enough to feel like we actually learned something.

If you want an episode that feels like hanging with your friends while they talk trash, overshare, and accidentally land on a real human moment in the middle of the chaos, this is that one.

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