Grieve That Sh!t

"Loneliness in grief isn't just about missing your person—it's about missing the version of yourself you were when they were alive. Naming that loneliness is how you stop drowning in it."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes on one of the hardest truths of grief: loneliness. Even in a crowded room, grief makes you feel like you're on another planet. People may surround you, but no one else can feel the exact pain you're carrying.

Sharon unpacks why grief is so isolating—why people avoid your pain, why you feel like you don't belong anywhere, and why loneliness feeds the heaviness of loss. Most importantly, she shows you how to name it, face it, and take small steps to soften it so it doesn't drown you.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief makes you feel lonely, even when you're not alone

• How silence and avoidance from others deepen the isolation

• The difference between missing your person and missing the version of yourself when they were alive

• Why naming loneliness out loud is a powerful first step

• Small ways to create connection when everything feels hollow

Homework for You

Print this out and do it this week:

1. Write down the moments when loneliness hits you the hardest.

• Is it in the morning?

• At night?

• During family gatherings?

1. For each moment, write one small action you could try—not to erase the loneliness, but to soften it.

• Call one safe person.

• Light a candle and say their name.

• Sit with someone who will let you cry without fixing it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall

"We should've been given hip-high boots and a damn instruction manual. Instead, we're dropped into grief with nothing but clichés. But here's the truth—you can face the pile, grieve it, and climb out."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker gets brutally honest about what grief really feels like: like stepping straight into a hip-high pile of shit with no warning, no boots, and no map out.

Nobody prepared us for the sleepless nights, the chest-crushing pain, or the brain fog that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Nobody told us grief would come with silence from friends, family drama, and the pressure to "be strong." Instead, we're left to stumble through the mess with nothing but bad advice and our broken hearts.

This episode is your manual for facing that pile, wading through it, and finding a way out—without pretending it's not there.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why grief feels like drowning in a pile of shit no one warned us about

• The ways society avoids preparing us for loss

• How grief takes over your body and makes simple things feel impossible

• The extra weight of silence, guilt, and bad advice

• The first steps to facing grief instead of resisting it

Homework for You

Print this out and do it this week:

1. Write down your personal version of "the pile."

• Is it the silence from friends?

• The guilt that won't let go?

• The exhaustion that never ends?

• The family drama that made it worse?

1. Circle the one part of the pile that feels heaviest right now. That's where you start. Naming it is the first step to grieving it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall.

"The shit is not just the loss itself—it's the lies, the silence, the guilt, and the pressure that come with it. You didn't create it, but you can name it. And once you name it, you can grieve it."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker breaks down what "the shit" actually means. Grief isn't just the pain of missing your person—it's all the lies, the silence, the pressure, and the guilt that come piled on top of the loss.

From the bad advice ("time heals") to the avoidance (people ducking you at the grocery store), Sharon calls it out. This is the part nobody warns you about, the weight that makes grief feel heavier than it already is. And until you name it, you can't begin to move through it.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• The real meaning behind "grieve that shit"

• Why clichés and cultural rules about grief keep you stuck

• How silence and avoidance from others add to the pain

• The difference between grieving your person and grieving the shit around the loss

• Why naming the shit is the first step toward healing

Homework for You

Print this out and work through it:

1. Write your personal list of "the shit" you've been carrying.

o What lies have you been told?

o What guilt do you wrestle with?

o What moments still knock the wind out of you?

2. Say it out loud: "This is my pile of shit." Don't soften it. Don't excuse it. Just name it.

Resources + Next Steps

• Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall

"Grief is not polite. It's not delicate. It doesn't wait until you're ready. It crashes in and takes over your whole life. So let's stop pretending—and let's grieve that shit."

On the very first episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker rips the mask off grief and tells the truth: grief is messy, painful, and nothing like the world says it should be.

Sharon shares the moment her life split in two with the death of her nephew Austin and why she chose to call this podcast Grieve That Shit. You'll learn why clichés like "time heals" do more harm than good, why grief is a full-body experience, and why facing the pain head-on is the only way through.

This episode sets the tone for everything that's coming: raw honesty, calling out the lies, and creating a space where you can finally stop pretending and start healing.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why Sharon chose the name Grieve That Shit

• How grief takes over your entire body—not just your emotions

• The truth about "being strong" and why it blocks healing

• Why laughter and tears often show upside by side in grief

• The first step toward actually healing

Homework for You

Print this out and do it this week:

1. Grab a notebook and write your version of the shit.

• What lies have you been told about grief?

• What feelings are you pushing down?

• What moments knock the wind out of you?

1. Don't edit it. Don't make it pretty. Just get it on the page. Naming your pile of shit is the first step to grieving it.

Resources + Next Steps

Download your free eBook:

• Download your free eBook: clickhereforhope.com

• Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST.

• Sign up Grief Study Hall

Welcome to Healing Starts With the Heart, the podcast where grief meets resilience.

In this episode, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker gets raw and real about the unspoken chaos of grief—what it feels like in your body, why your mind can't stop replaying the moment it all changed, and how society leaves us completely unprepared to deal with it.

From the hospital diagnosis to the late-night phone call that split life into "before and after," Sharon lays out what really happens when grief hits—and why it's not weakness, madness, or something you just "get over." It's a full-body, full-heart experience that demands to be felt.

If you've ever wondered "What the hell is happening to me?" this episode is your answer: you're not broken—you're grieving.

• The moment everything changes: the call, the diagnosis, the hospital, the knock at the door.

• Why grief is a full-body experience—chest tightness, heavy head, shallow breath, restless nervous system, twisted stomach, sleepless nights.

• The battle between your logical mind (searching for answers) and your heart (knowing the truth).

• How grief shows up in everyday life—seeing their favorite cereal in the store, picking up the phone to call them, lying awake at night unable to breathe.

• The danger of performing instead of grieving—wearing a smile, staying busy, saying "I'm fine," while silently falling apart.

• Why society has left us unprepared: no one showed us how to grieve, only how to hide.

• Grief isn't just sadness—it's anger, numbness, confusion, shutdown, and longing all at once.

• Pain is not the problem; pretending is.

• Surviving grief is not about fixing or outrunning it—it's about one breath, one moment, one day at a time.

• Tools Sharon shares in That Grief Sht* ebook + video series:

  • Why grief feels like it does in the body

  • What it means to "be strong" vs. fall apart

  • Allowing emotions (anger, numbness, tears) instead of suppressing them

  • Answering the question: Am I crazy or am I normal?

• What was the moment my life split into "before" and "after"?

• How does grief show up in my body right now?

• Where am I performing instead of allowing myself to feel?

• What everyday moments trigger my grief—and what do they teach me about my love?

• How have I silenced my emotions to comfort others?

• What might it look like to take grief one moment, one breath, at a time?

Grief is not weakness. It's not madness. It's love with nowhere to go.

You were never taught how to grieve—only how to perform, suppress, and "be strong." But pretending suffocates the heart. Healing starts when you stop performing and let yourself feel.

So if you're exhausted from holding it all together, if your nervous system is on fire and your heart is begging to be heard—this episode is your reminder: you are not broken. You are grieving. And grieving is natural.

One moment, one breath, one day at a time—you will survive this.

✨ Upcoming Events: 📝 Grief Study Hall – Wednesdays @ 7PM CST 📍 Live in The Grief School Facebook Group

🎤 Grieve That Sht* – Next Live Lecture: Monday, August 4th @ 7PM CST 💻 clickhereforhope.com (Sign up to attend or receive the replay)

📩 Email: [email protected] 📱 TikTok, Instagram, YouTube: @thegriefschool

Episode Summary:

Welcome to Healing Starts With the Heart, where grief gets real and healing gets honest.

In this episode, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker pulls back the curtain on the 9 biggest lies we've been told about grief—and how they've shaped generations of silent suffering. From pretending you're okay to being told "just stay busy," this episode is a deep and raw dive into the ways our society teaches us to perform instead of process our pain.

If you've ever felt like you're grieving "wrong," this is your invitation to unlearn the myths and finally make space for the truth: you are not broken—just unheard.

• Why most of us were never taught to grieve—and inherited myths from people who were also grieving

• The 9 biggest lies we've been told about grief, including:

  1. If it's not death or divorce, it's not grief

  2. Stay busy and it will help

  3. Don't feel bad

  4. Grieve alone

  5. If you're not crying, it's not grief

  6. Just replace the loss

  7. Be strong for others

  8. Time will heal

  9. Moving forward means forgetting

• How these lies lead to emotional isolation, pretending, resentment, and long-term unresolved grief

• Why crying isn't weakness—and "being strong" often just means shutting down

• What it means to truly acknowledge grief, and how that creates space for healing

• Which of these grief lies have I believed or been told?

• Where in my life am I pretending to be "okay"?

• What emotions have I been taught to suppress in grief?

• What version of myself have I lost that I haven't grieved?

• How has staying busy or being strong delayed my healing?

You weren't given the tools to grieve—because no one ever gave them to the people who raised you either. You were handed myths instead of truth, silence instead of support. But it's not too late to start over. It's not too late to unlearn.

Grief isn't a mindset problem. It's not something you fix with strength or smiles. Grief is a wound that deserves your attention, your honesty, and your community.

So if you're tired of pretending, if the lies about how to grieve are weighing you down—this episode is your permission slip to finally grieve out loud.

✨ Upcoming Events: 📝 Grief Study Hall – Wednesdays @ 7PM CST 📍Live in The Grief School Facebook Group

🎤 Grieve That Sht – Next Live Lecture: Monday, August 4th @ 7PM CST 💻 clickhereforhope.com (Sign up to attend or receive the replay)

📩 Email: [email protected] 📱 TikTok, Instagram, YouTube: @thegriefschool

Episode Summary: In this powerful and raw episode of Healing Starts With the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker asks a deeply uncomfortable—but necessary—question: What if the pain isn't the problem… but the key to your healing?

Sharon breaks down why so many of us are still stuck in our grief—not because we're doing it wrong, but because no one ever taught us how to feel the pain instead of managing it. From performative grief to inherited patterns, she shares how unprocessed pain keeps us in a holding pattern of burnout, resentment, and silence.

You'll learn how to stop performing, start feeling, and allow grief to finally move through you—instead of staying trapped inside your body.

🧠 Key Points Discussed:

• Why pain is not something to avoid, but the portal to healing

• What "performative grief" looks like (and how it keeps you stuck)

• The difference between acknowledgment and acceptance

• Why crying, screaming, and "ugly crying" are necessary parts of the healing process

• How grief passed down through generations teaches us silence instead of support

• The truth about what happens when we don't let grief move through the body

• Why managing pain is not the same as processing pain

• The one-minute challenge to sit with grief (and why that's so hard)

• What it means to stop apologizing for grief and let the nervous system exhale

📓 Journal Questions for Reflection:

• What pain have I been managing instead of feeling?

• Where am I pretending to be "okay"?

• When was the last time I gave myself permission to fall apart?

• What would it look like to acknowledge, out loud, that I am grieving?

• Who taught me how to grieve—and were they in pain too?

🩶 Conclusion: If you're still in pain, it doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human. It means something—or someone—mattered. And you don't have to perform your way through this anymore.

You are allowed to hurt. You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to feel this all the way through.

Because the pain is not the end of your grief story— It's the beginning of your healing.

📬 Contact Us: Want to go deeper or get live coaching? Join Sharon Brubaker for weekly grief support:

📝 Grief Study Hall – every Wednesday @ 7PM CST 📍Live in The Grief School Facebook Group (link in comments)

🎤 Next 'Grieve That Sh*t' Live Lecture – Monday, August 4 @ 7PM CST Sign up once and get the replay, even if you can't attend live! 👉 clickhereforhope.com

📧 Contact: [email protected] 📲 TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram: @thegriefschool

Episode Description: In this powerful episode of Healing Starts with the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker takes us into the often-unspoken world of collective grief—the grief that doesn't belong to just one person, one family, or one household. It belongs to all of us. When tragedy strikes a community—whether it's a school shooting, a local accident, a sudden death, or a public loss—every face reflects the sorrow. And every heart carries a piece of it.

Sharon unpacks what it means to grieve together, how public mourning impacts private pain, and why it's so hard to know what to say or do. Through her personal story and the communities she's walked with through deep loss, this episode is a reminder: you are allowed to grieve, even if you weren't the one closest to the loss.

If you've ever struggled to understand why you're hurting after a tragedy in your town—or if you've watched your community rally and then fall silent—this episode will help you name it, feel it, and find a way forward together.

Key Points Covered:

• What community grief really is: How grief spreads beyond the immediate family and becomes a shared weight.

• The ripple effect of loss: Why neighbors, classmates, church members, teachers—even strangers—feel it too.

• When your grief becomes public: What it means when your pain is visible in grocery store aisles, in church pews, and across front porches.

• The awkwardness of support: Why communities show up with casseroles, candles, and balloon releases—because they don't know what else to do.

• No grief is "too small": Even if your connection was distant, your pain is real and valid.

• What happens after the funeral: Why grief gets louder in the silence after the ceremonies, when the door closes and the cameras are gone.

• The trap of being "community strong": Why telling people to "stay strong" shuts down healing—and what to say instead.

• The importance of afterward support: How real community healing starts not just with rituals, but with consistent presence, honest words, and quiet connection.

Reflection Questions for Your Heart:

• Have you ever felt grief that didn't "belong" to you, but changed you anyway?

• What role did you play in a collective loss—neighbor, teacher, nurse, friend?

• Who have you been meaning to check in on, long after the candles were blown out?

• What does your community need most right now: another event—or someone who will simply say, "I see you"?

A Note from Sharon: If you're hurting for your town, your school, your street, your neighbor—you're grieving. And you deserve space to feel it, too. Let's stop pretending we're okay. Let's stop hiding behind strong. Real grief calls for real community. Let's keep showing up for one another—not just for the funeral, but for the months and years afterward, when it matters most.

Listen weekly to Healing Starts with the Heart for truth-filled, compassionate guidance through the hardest parts of grief.

Follow Us: Website: healingstartswiththeheart.com Facebook: Healing Starts with the Heart Instagram: @healatthegriefschool TikTok: @thegriefschool

Join Us for Ongoing Healing: If you're grieving quietly after a public loss, we see you. You're not invisible. Join Sharon and our team at the next Grief Healing Weekend Intensive—a space for real healing, not just survival. You don't have to carry this alone. Visit clickhereforhope.com for details.

Episode Description: In this raw, heart-opening episode of Healing Starts with the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker walks you through one of the deepest truths about loss—grief doesn't just take your person. It takes everything. And no one prepares you for that part.

With her own story and the stories of thousands of grievers she's supported, Sharon names the unspoken: how grief sneaks in like a thief in the night and strips away your energy, your motivation, your peace, and even your sense of time. This isn't just emotional pain. It's physical, spiritual, mental—and it touches every part of your life.

If you've felt like grief broke something in you that you can't get back... this episode will make you feel seen. It's not just you. This is what grief does. But this is also your invitation to take it back—your joy, your identity, your voice, your future.

Key Points Discussed:

• Grief doesn't just take your person— It takes you, the version of you who felt whole before the loss.

• Energy depletion and physical exhaustion— Why simple tasks like getting out of bed, showering, or doing laundry can feel impossible.

• Loss of motivation and pleasure— The things you used to love may now feel meaningless or numb.

• Sleep disruption— Why nights are the hardest and how grief hijacks your ability to rest.

• Loss of confidence and focus— How grief impacts your ability to think clearly, trust yourself, and feel secure in your identity.

• The collapse of inner peace— Why your nervous system stays on high alert after your loss.

• Grief and identity loss— Feeling like a stranger in your own life and questioning your role in the world.

• Grief takes your voice— The silence we fall into when no one understands our pain or says the right thing.

• Time distortion— Feeling stuck in the moment of loss while time speeds up or slows down around you.

• Future grief— Mourning the dreams, milestones, and shared plans that will never happen.

• Control and patience vanish— How grief can make you feel emotionally raw, snappy, and out of control.

• The truth no one tells you— Grief may have taken everything... but you can take it back.

Journal Questions for Reflection:

• What's something you've lost that no one talks about?

• What do you miss most about yourself—the version of you before the loss?

• Where do you feel most "not like yourself" these days?

• What's one thing grief made you believe you couldn't reclaim—but maybe you can?

Join the Journey: You were not given a life sentence when your person died. You're allowed to reclaim the pieces of your life that grief tried to steal. The healing starts when you stop pretending you're okay, and begin honoring what you've lost—and what you still deserve to feel.

Subscribe now to Healing Starts with the Heart for new episodes every Wednesday. You're not alone. You never were.

Follow Us: Website: healingstartswiththeheart.com Facebook: Healing Starts with the Heart Instagram: @healatthegriefschool TikTok: @thegriefschool

Come to the Healing Weekend Intensive: If this episode spoke to the places in you that feel broken, we invite you to spend the weekend with us. You'll learn how to reclaim your voice, your energy, your identity, and your hope. Click the link below to waitlist in the upcoming Grief Healing Weekend Intensive. We're saving you a seat.

https://beacons.ai/thegriefschool

Episode Description:

In this deep and unfiltered episode of Healing Starts with the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about grief—that it's not just sadness.

So many grievers are led to believe that they're supposed to carry this endless, heavy sadness for the rest of their lives—that sadness is the whole story of grief. But in this powerful conversation, Sharon reveals what most people don't talk about: that grief affects your entire body, your mind, your spirit, and your entire world.

With honesty, compassion, and her signature clarity, Sharon explores how grief is an all-consuming storm—how it shows up in brain fog, physical exhaustion, anxiety, disconnection from reality, and deep detachment from your own life. She reminds listeners that they are not broken, they are grieving—and that grief deserves real support, not silence.

If you've been stuck in the belief that "I'm just going to be sad forever," this episode is a wake-up call and a warm hand reaching for yours. This is your reminder: your grief is valid, it's big, it's real—and you don't have to carry it alone anymore.

Key Points Discussed:

• Grief Isn't Just Sadness Why reducing grief to sadness keeps grievers stuck and unseen.

• The Full-Body Grief Storm How grief affects your nervous system, thoughts, beliefs, sleep, digestion, and sense of reality.

• Why You Can't Think Your Way Out Grief is an emotional experience in the heart—not a logic problem for the mind to fix.

• Processing vs. Performing Why it's time to stop pretending you're okay and start moving the pain through your body.

• What Healing Actually Looks Like Sharon shares the need for action, truth-telling, and intentional space to feel without apology.

Journal Questions for Reflection:

• Where in your body are you holding your grief right now?

• What part of your life has grief touched that no one acknowledges?

• What have you stopped doing because of your grief—and what do you miss most about that part of yourself?

• What would it feel like to be witnessed in your grief without having to explain it?

Join the Journey: Grief isn't something to be ignored or waited out. You deserve a safe space to land—a place where your pain is seen, held, and honored. That's what Healing Starts with the Heart is here to offer.

Subscribe now for new episodes every Wednesday and start walking this path with someone who truly understands.

Follow Us: Website: healingstartswiththeheart.com Facebook: Healing Starts with the Heart Instagram: @healatthegriefschool TikTok: @thegriefschool

Check Our Programs: You're not broken. You're grieving. And Sharon is here to walk beside you—because she is you.