Hey guys, I hope you can help me. I don’t want to use my real name for reasons that you’ll understand shortly, so you can just refer to me as Tim. I’ve in love with my best friend “Kyle’s” girlfriend “Jamie.” They’ve been dating for about a year and I love everything about her. She’s smart and cute and funny. She’s perfect. We have a lot in common, too. Sometimes I think we have more in common than her and Kyle. Sometimes we’ll catch ourselves flirting when we all hang out and have to reassure ourselves that we are just friends. I feel so crappy about feeling this way, especially because me and Kyle have been friends since middle school. We’ve always been there for each other. Things are really complicated now because Kyle confided in me that while he was on a business trip about two weeks ago, he got drunk and hooked up with a co-worker. He didn’t mean to do it and he feels awful about it, but Jamie has no idea. It’s eating me up inside keeping this secret. I don’t know what to do. A part of me thinks that if I tell her what he did it’ll be my chance to be with her. But I know if I do that I’m going to lose my best friend. Not doing anything though feels just as bad. Please help!

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Here is today's message:

Hey guys,

I’m writing you because my boyfriend and I recently got into a major disagreement.

We've been together awhile and live together. He’s great, we rarely fight, and

I honestly think he might be “the one.” Well recently, I quit my longtime job

after the work environment got increasingly toxic. I’m also what is called an “influencer”

on Instagram, and have a large following of several thousand people. I get many

things for free and make a lot of money that way, so I’ve decided not to look

for another full-time job. My boyfriend isn’t a fan of it, and sometimes

complains about the attention I get on my photos and constant messages I receive.

I really only communicate with women, but I do get a lot of comments from men

and I also obviously spend a lot of time on the app. It wasn’t such a huge

problem in our relationship, however, until I told him I would do it full time

instead of on the side. He accused me of being selfish and criticized me,

saying that’s not a

real

job. Last night, he even said he

doesn’t think he can date someone with a “slacker” job like that. Please help!

I love him, he’s normally great and I don’t want to lose him over this but I

really feel like he’s being over dramatic. Am I the one in the wrong here? 

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