Trigger Warning: This episode discusses parental alcoholism, child neglect, suicide attempts, and graphic descriptions of traumatic death.

In this episode, Starr sits down with me to pull back the curtain on a childhood where "home" was never a synonym for "safe." For Starr, life was a constant exercise in "second nature" awareness—learning to read the room before the day even unfolded to see which version of her mother she was going to get.

From witnessing a traumatic police intervention before the age of three to watching her mother jump from a second-story balcony, Starr’s story is a raw look at the "Jekyll and Hyde" reality of loving an addict. We discuss the heavy burden of being an emotional caretaker for a parent, the complicated "relief" that comes with a traumatic loss, and the "gut punch" of finding her mother’s secret journals a year after her death—words that finally answered the "why" Starr had been carrying her entire life. Today, Starr is focused on breaking the cycle, prioritizing peace, and navigating the terrifying path of becoming the mother she never had.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

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