It’s so hard to buy things and feel like a winner when buying things makes you feel like a loser.

The new normal is still the old normal which under normal circumstances will probably end in our extinction. But think of the clearance sales!

Are we still doing this? What is this? When is tomorrow? Who ordered this pizza?

We used to think we couldn’t wait to have a little time alone.

An unusual engagement announcement springboards off of speculation on butterfly coitus.

People used to go to large auditoriums and crowd near each other, screaming out mists of germs while rubbing elbows and swaying against other bodies while handsome musicians sang about banal lusts.

If you are giving a gift it is a good idea to brand it with an identifying mark in case somebody tries to steal it and later on you run into the thief in another time zone.

Mother nature doesn’t think much of you.

These days lifting oneself up by the bootstraps means performing your own medical procedures on yourself with money you had to borrow from Aunt Helen.

This is one of those cute stories where you think: Well, I guess that was cute, if you are into that sort of thing in a miniature story.