Grumble Goat

Waking up is an activity that everyone performs every day. In lieu of a rooster, most people use a device. Some trust in their cell phone, but some trust in the digital alarm clock – a pre-nuclear relic based on morse-code technology. Mat & Veronique think it’s time for a wake-up call.

We are living in an age of hyper communication. Through social media, any plebian can clearly communicate their thoughts to the world at any given moment. Why then is there still no way to communicate your thoughts with a hair-styling professional without adding improvised sign language? Mat & Veronique split hairs over the buzz.

It’s time for the ‘rona episode. Twenty-four hour news cycles move faster than a virus, so ‘facts’ come faster and more furious than the epidemic. How do you escape from the real plague? Can you avoid being paranoid? Even the truth wears a mask, while Mat & Veronique infect the facts.

As attention spans narrow, it’s ironic that stories are lengthening. The classic, stand-alone film era has been purged and replaced with binging mini-series. The idea of ‘high-speed web surfing’ has unfolded into a lazy-river of content absorption. Mat & Veronique get to the skinny; dipping into the stream.

Modern public facilities are marvels of 90’s motion-sensor technology. It seems every toilet and faucet are equipped with a confusing blend of over-eager or bladder-shy self-automation. The towel dispenser is labeled not to touch, but somehow always needs an encouraging tap. Every trip to the bathroom is a time-capsule of a previous generation’s hopeful view of the World-of-Tomorrow. Wave your hand over the screen to begin auto-play. No, not like that. You’re waving too close. Not that fast, it can’t read you. You know what, let Mat & Veronique manually flush the truth.

In a global world, where every taste and flavor on the planet is available at you local grocer’s, it’s almost shocking that the option of ‘no flavor’ exists. This small niche of culinary event-horizon is more commonly known as tofu. The only possible description of this foodstuff is cultured ectoplasm. Join Mat & Veronique as they tastelessly chew the facts.

Math, navigation, privacy, finding a mate; these are some of the responsibilities we’ve given up to the machine. Driving, on the other hand, is the most sacred of our mundane, autonomous tasks. Cars inspired the creation of the assembly-line, which was literally the precursor to factory-automation, yet driving itself is more sacred to us than the second amendment. Keep your thoughts and opinions inside the vehicle as Mat & Veronique set a collision course.

The produce section of the supermarket slowly dwindles as consumers buy more processed, fat-free, gluten-free, artificially-sweetened, instant, consequence free “food.” Who took the calories out of food and where are they hiding them? The ransom may be the very soul of America. Quench your thirst on Mat & Veronique’s knowledge-free fountain of truth.

In the high-paced information-age we live in, phone calls are the rare moments that we can be by ourselves and get a head-start on our to-do list. Sometimes loved ones are just background noise. Oh, are you still there? Join Veronique as we ignore Mat and get some tasks done.

India Pale Ale: a godsend for thirsty British sailors; a cliched standard for craft beer. Gone are the days of repetitive American pilsners, welcome to the new age of repetitive micro-brew. Don your beer-goggles as Mat & Veronique hop to the challenge.