Grumble Goat

Casual passing of judgement is fundamental to the human experience. Communication is not unique to Mankind; dolphins and bees, for instance, have distinct modes of communication. But at some point, grunting became too inadequate for articulating our displeasure at the world. Early humans needed adjectives and participles to properly articulate their derision. How then, is it fair to inhibit the oratory of the host of a show where the very concept of which is to grumble? As if there were any shortage of inane indignities in life, now I am told to “Save it… for the Grumble!” Join Mat and Veronique as we see what takes shape when we pour molten meta into the cast.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

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All Hallow’s Eve is upon us. The darkness creeps in earlier and earlier. The trees have shed their leaves, leaving their bare, bony fingers clawing at the twilight sky. Nightmares lurk around every corner, because every single corner bares the evil mark of the Star Buck. How has this demon taken over the season of decay? To what evil gods have we given our sacrificial dollar? For eternity, Man has turned to the heavens to mark the harvest; but now, we smell the Pumpkin Spice belching up from the sewers and we obey. Join Mat & Veronique as we lose our heads to the madness of sleepy, hollow complacency.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

Check out Veronique’s Halloween Pumpkin Video!!!

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

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Guest Grumbler: Virginia Rupert

Some might wear their hearts on their sleeve, but all of us cover our unmentionable bits with… unmentionables. But why? There are fashion-designers whose whole catalogue are comprised of hidden, under-garments. Even Victoria has done a terrible job of keeping her Secrets. But what purpose have these clandestine clothes? Are we all leaking? What foulness are we hiding? Odors? Or shame? It’s time to quit skirting the subject and scrutinize our skivvies. Join Mat, Veronique, and guest – Virginia Rupert – as we lay the truth bare.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

Follow Virginia Rupert on Insta: @VirginiaRupert

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

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Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Cigarettes are cool..? All of our 70’s era heroes smoked. You what’s not cool? Safety gear. James Bond drinks martinis and smokes unfiltered cigarettes. He doesn’t wear knee-pads. If you’re living on the edge, why use a filter? Especially when the filter has been ineffective at providing any health benefits whatsoever. The only thing the filter has successfully blocked is our gutters and sewage drains, our roads and our parks. Who will block this cancerous influx of plastic butts? Mat & Veronique filter out the lies to provide a soothing breath of crisp-menthol truth.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

Veronique is featured on the latest Hey Gurl! with Bill Janisse!

Follow Hey Gurl! with Bill Janisse! On Instagram: heygurl.podcast

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

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Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

No longer are we beholden to the cow for milk. We have weened ourselves from the udder addiction and replaced it with plant-based alternatives. But before we pat ourselves on the back, let’s take a look at the plants we use. Almond, coconut, oat, and soy are great, but a greater addiction sits right behind those labels: the sweet nectar of the sugar cane. Every dairy-free milk alternative is oozing with sugar. Sweet serendipity? Or bitter deceit? Mat & Veronique milk the issue, with a dollop of truth.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

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Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Guest Grumbler: Logan Kovach

The Human Body is a magnificent vessel of biotic efficiency. What an incredible vehicle to experience the world within. A well-known design flaw, though, involves the placement of the sinus cavity right in front of the brain. Too often this cavity is blocked or leaking. Popular troubleshooting steps include: Blow the nose; inhale steam, decongestant pill, or, the nuclear option – flush the whole system with a nose enema. But is it healthy? And is it worth converting your nose into a sewage pipe? Join Mat, Veronique, and guest – Logan Kovach, as we flush out the blockage of truth.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

Follow Logan Kovach on Instagram: jlogankovach

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Social Media has been hijacked by a fantasy world of online quizzes. Replacing the Astrological Charts of yore, these personality quizzes can reveal your inner Cruella or sort you into the Great Houses of Hogwarts, all while sharing your personal data directly with data farms. Completely automated, no longer does your social-media require you to socialize at all to decipher your personalized, targeted manipulations. But more importantly, are you a Veronique? Or a Mat? We will begin administering the completely painless quiz, now.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube