Grumble Goat

Communicating with the machines is a task we leave to the highly specialized ‘programmer’ class. These ‘programmers’ are the modern day shamans, exorcising the ghost in the machine. They have given us the mouse, the touchscreen, and now, voice commands. But vocal cues barely work on other humans. I can’t understand half of what my neighbors say. How can we expect the machine to understand any of our ramblings? Join Mat & Veronique as we input new programming into your mind using your device with our voices.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

The great American journey was built on consumerism. Shopping Malls, Strip Malls, Outlet Malls, and Wholesale Big Box stores are the American identity. What red-blooded American patriot doesn’t love a little retail therapy from time to time? But there is a bottleneck in the machinery of consumerism. The process of exchanging ownership of items from retailer to consumer requires we line up and wait for our turn at the register. This wrench in the gears hemorrhages inefficiency and stress. Check out Mat & Veronique as we ask the Q’s about queues.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Ding! You have three new messages. Distractions are omnipresent in today’s society. Ding, you have a new notification. It’s difficult to subscribe your attention to any one thing for more than a Ding, forty-seven unread e-mails. But maintaining someone else’s attention Ding, impossible. What happened to the lost art of, Ding, you’ve got your steps in, LISTENING. Ding, Grumble Goat has a new episode, put aside the distractions for a, Ding, random-phone-number-with-your-area-code calling, STOP. Listen. Lend an ear to Mat & Veronique as we, wait, what were you saying?

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Help support the show! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Get Mat’s new novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

America, from sea to shining sea, is crisscrossed with beautiful open roads. Somehow these alluring stretches of highway have become choked with the invasive species of diesel-guzzling mammoths. What could be pulled by one elegant locomotive engine is instead spread out across the land, from smoggy L.A. to polluted New Jersey. When did freight become so frightful? All ears must pull over to Mat & Veronique’s Weigh Station of truth.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

The kitchen is the heart of the home. Family traditions have been passed down through casseroles and cookies. Somehow, though, American consumerism has replaced the recipe Rolodex with Doc Brown’s laboratory of hair-brained gizmos. Air-fryers, Keurigs, and Britas have cluttered the modern kitchen with just as much practicality as The Jetsons foresaw. Join Mat & Veronique as we dissect the topic with our new two-in-one, Turbo InstaCorp Peel-and-Presta Answer Sifter.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Sports, America’s favorite pastime. Gone are the days when backyard, sandlotters become local heroes. Now, millionaires get traded across the country and change their colors with no affiliation whatsoever, while beer prices keep rising for the fans. Who are these strangers that we’re rooting for and where did they come from? Join Mat & Veronique for their first round draft pick: the truth.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

The 21-Century gives mankind many opportunities to trade privacy for a hit of dopamine. A photo goes to Instagram and an opinion goes to Twitter, sure; but now you can give the very blueprint of life to a corporation called Ancestry. Science can unlock your family history much faster than Genealogy can, for the mere price of giving up your most sacred password. Join Mat & Veronique as we try to get into your genes.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

For more information or to comment: matlabotka.com/grumblegoat

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Check out Veronique crafting with her cats on YouTube

Guest Grumbler: Dr. Lori Labotka, Ph.D.

A plague is spreading across the land. Fortunately, we have the technology to stop it dead in its tracks. A face-covering device has been the go-to method for centuries. But these simple tools are blocking suburbanites from getting haircuts and brunch. Oppression or compassion? Anthropologist Lori Labotka joins Mat & Veronique to cover her mouth with a microphone of truth.

*Dr. Labotka’s grumble was massively edited for time (and comedy), but she brought up some very good points on important topics, so we’ve included a brief breakdown of some of what she said:

“I recognize it is super weird to wear masks. I want to go back to normal as much as everyone running out to Brunch. I get it, I have a toddler! I would love to go back to normal but we are in a global Pandemic.  A few show notes:

Research shows that if a majority of people were to wear a mask the virus would be better under control. Masks will not cure the virus but they will help lessen the spread.

Indoor dining is very risky here is why:

A consumer is only in the restaurant for maybe an hour or hour and a half. They are socially distanced from others eating but the server interacts with everyone in their section. The customer is putting the server at risk. If that service worker becomes infected and happens to be asymptotic or is showing little to no symptoms at first then they can spread the virus to everyone in the restaurant. The chefs and cooks, the bartender, the managers, the support staff such as busers, runners & then finally the customers.  I don’t mean to scare you but again indoor dining is very risky!!!

Servers and others in the food service industry usually do not have health insurance.

Outdoor dining is also risky but because you are outside it is less of a risk. If you are doing outdoor activities and you are socially distancing, masks are not as important; but if you are going ANYWHERE indoors you MUST wear a mask.

Our country is built on a foundation of oppression. The corona virus is really laying that bare. 

We know that people of color and disenfranchised people are being impacted by this virus at a disproportionate rate.

If you believe you are not racist or anti-racist, then you need to wear a mask! If you believe you value other peoples’ lives you should wear a mask.

Surprisingly, I am not for mask mandates ONLY for reasons of enforcement. Making a mask mandate will only hurt poor and disenfranchised communities. 

A lot of white-privileged people don’t understand this because if they get a ticket they can pay it right away. To the people who do not have the means to pay, it then becomes a criminal offense, which can entangle them in the criminal justice system. There are states where not wearing a mask is a misdemeanor offense; there are fines in place if you don’t wear a mask. A $50 ticket doesn’t mean the same to a person who makes $100,000 a year than to a person living paycheck to paycheck. 

If you want to know how to be anti-racist in this moment, if you support Black Lives Matter, if you want to be a white ally… Wear a mask.  

I have been to a number of Black Lives Matter protests and I have to say everyone was wearing a mask. Maybe one or two people were not but that is out of 1,000 to 2,000 people wearing masks. Research indicates the protests have not contributed to the spread.  I am not surprised at all by this because these protests are happening outside and people are wearing masks.  Masks work!”

Opinions used to be a personal position on a topic that one could use to socialize. Now, social media has alleviated us of that burden. Instead of having to formulate your own ideas, we can come together to collectively hate things, obediently. There’s no need to listen as Mat & Veronique troll your ears.

In humankind’s eternal quest to alleviate ourselves, we have isolated the most embarrassing of our animal baseness to one room. ‘Nature’s call,’ and all the smells that go with it, are hidden in the ‘rest’ room. Do we acknowledge these primal odors or do we rise above them? Mat & Veronique light a match, because something smells.