The origins of the Mujahideen and the Taliban, the Minor Threat of Islam

Sameer’s 23 year old cat

Biden is the bravest modern leader we’ve had for admitting defeat

Empires crumble like relationships.

No such thing as a clean break up.

Don’t expect closure

Hoping for a mellower Post-Punk Taliban this time around

We also discuss Judas Goats, UFOs AKA UAPs

Old Testament Nephilim, apocalyptic communism AKA Posadism , Supreme Clothing and Amazon Department Stores

IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco

IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

Twitter @halalcartels

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

Art by @elizabitcrusher

La Ley De Mordaza, Puerto Rico’s Gag Law

LSD for mental fitness

Do you eat your chocolate with cheese?

Traveling the world like a CIA agent

Mosquito bloodbath on Culebra Puerto Rico

True Crime Book Club

Edward Bunker’s No Beast So Fierce

Jack Black’s You Can’t Win

Never Forget the Boomer Democrats waged war on Rock and Roll

IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco

IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

Twitter @halalcartels

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

Art by @elizabitcrusher

Celebrities Don’t Bathe, Tough Mudders, Stinky People, Woodstock 99, Rap Rock, Water Wars, Korn and Limp Bizkit are Boybands, Pre-Internet Pop-Culture Treasure Troves, Barefoot people on Penn Station, Free Tibet Concert 98, Paul Bremer and the Occupation of Iraq, Duct Taped Frontier Airlines Passengers, New Jobs for Air Marshals

IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco

IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

Twitter @halalcartels

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

Art by @elizabitcrusher

We discuss the ephemeral nature of empire.  Gabe is still on a Silence of the Lambs kick.

Mexico City gets an endorsement as the most Blade Runner City in North America. Sameer auditions with the board of tourism and cultural affairs in India, giving the country a glowing 5 star review and many travel tips.

We visit Gorakhpur and Kushinagar, the birthplace of the Buddha.

For some reason Married with Children comes up as the anti-Cosby show.

Shout outs to Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto

IG: @gabepac1   twitter:  @gabe_pacheco

IG: @sameermon  twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

Twitter @halalcartels

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

We talk about Covid scares in public schools, parents should be the vanguard, the Heist on Netflix, growing up in a city versus a suburb, unsustainable sprawl, Not Just Bikes youtube channel, Amsterdam, affairs are actually good for the marriage and families, and the Olympics is still happening, contaminating and militarizing a community near you!  The butterfly effect of the 911 attack on the quality of weed in the United States and a shout out to Action Bronson. 

Gabe Pacheco, a Chicano comedian with a background in education

and

Sameer Naseem, an Indian American comedian and marketing maven

Two products of the Global South talking trash and centering ourselves at the heart of culture and empire here in lovely Brooklyn.

And just like the Wu, we it do for the children

IG: @gabepac1

IG: @sameermon

Music by Sareen @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

Not Just Bikes 

Contact: [email protected]

Teaching unvaccinated elementary school kids, apologizing on Twitter, unbreakable Comanche and Mapuche Nations, antibiotic resistant Russian pneumonia, Dunning Kruger Effect, Monkey Pox, Toxic Positivity, American Destructive Optimism, Mike Davis' Set the Night on Fire: LA in the Sixties, Gusanos vs the New Left, Alpha 66, Pastel Activism, Libya, Pink Washing, Covid Variants

Gabe Pacheco IG: @gabepac1    Twitter: @gabe_pacheco

Sameer Naseem IG: @sameermon Twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

Halal Cartels is hosted by

Gabe Pacheco, a Chicano comedian with a background in education

Sameer Naseem, an Indian American comedian and marketing maven

Two products of the Global South talking trash and centering ourselves at the heart of culture and empire here in lovely Brooklyn.

And just like the Wu, we it do for the children.  Gabe is NOT a Libra.

Yoga with Adrienne, MMA training, Brazilian Thongs, Black Summer, I Think You Leave, David Choe, Planet of the Humans, Greenwashing, Cruise Ships, Haitian Assassinations

IG: @gabepac1

IG: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

MUSIC by SAREEN  IG: @Sareenpatel   @brownprivilege   

Episode Description:

We talk about the impact of colorism in The Heights (HBO) and how Sameer hates musicals, the book "Blitzed" Nazi pharmaceutical endeavors, Ritalin, why the Olympics are trash, favelas, and poverty tourism.

We also dig into the current housing crisis and the filthy scams that are endemic to the real estate market, the concept of redlining and where Central Park came from. Do you hate the player or hate the game?

Hosted by

Gabe Pacheco, a Chicano comedian with a background in education

Sameer Naseem, an Indian American comedian and marketing maven

Two products of the Global South talking trash and centering ourselves at the heart of culture and empire here in lovely Brooklyn.

And just like the Wu, we do it for the children

Gabe Pacheco IG: @gabepac1  Twitter: @gabe_pacheco

Sameer Naseem IG: @sameermon Twitter: @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

MUSIC by  SAREEN  @sareenpatel   @brownprivilege

This week we touch on Climate Change, Power Black Outs, Bikram Yoga, Weighted Blankets, Targeted Advertising, Surveillance Capitalism,Donald Rumsfeld, Blackwater, Private Mercenary Armies, Jamal Khashoggi, Saudi Arabia, Mohammad Bin Salman Al Saud, DB Cooper, The Guest (2014), Gulf War Syndrome, Hijacking Airplanes, The Skies Belong to US, the Cold War, PLO vs Hamas, Carlos The Jackal

Halal Cartels is hosted by

Gabe Pacheco, a Chicano comedian with a background in education

and

Sameer Naseem, an Indian American comedian and marketing maven

Two products of the Global South talking trash and centering ourselves at the heart of culture and empire here in lovely Brooklyn.

And just like the Wu, we do it for the children.  Gabe is NOT a Libra.

Gabe Pacheco IG: @gabepac1  Twitter: @gabe_pacheco

Sameer Naseem IG: @sameermon Twitter @sameermon

Contact: [email protected]

https://www.patreon.com/Halalcartels