Halal Cartels

By Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels

Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire.

hosted by

Gabe Pacheco

Sameer Naseem,

And just like the Wu, we do it for the children

IG: ... more

· Society & Culture

4.8

5151 ratings

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FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.

Halal Cartels episodes:

October 06, 2021 Haunted Houses, Medellin Covid Tests, New Age Crystals are the New Blood Diamonds
Medellin steaks and motorcycles
Australian Lockdown
Crocodile Dundee
Silicon Valley is full of the best people!
October Spooky season
Friday the 13th the novelization
Slave ghosts
Haunted Houses
Crystals are mined by child slaves
And ruining the environment
Mommy Blogs
Jaws is copaganda
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
55min
September 23, 2021 Carnivorous caterpillars, cowboys, and luau pigs on the nude beaches of Hawaii
New London junkie tour guides
Indian wedding physical trainers
Hawaii tourism during the pandemic
Jason Bourne
Open source avccine recipes
Micro climates
Invasive species
Paniolo Culture
History of Cowboys
Haitians on the border
Tarot Reader and Artist IG @metamarcy
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
56min
September 08, 2021 We Built this Empire on a Superfund Black Site and it's Haunted by Candyman
A very soggy episode filled with apocalyptic hurricane flooding in New York and New Orleans. We shower praise on beavers because they are the perfect animal. Los Angeles is soaked in spilled oil. We review the New Candyman. We discuss the history of gore in horror and it's connections to American politics, from Vietnam, to Abu Ghraib, to Ferguson and the BLM movement. Shout outs to Tom Savini, George Romero, Wes Craven, and Tobe Hooper. And thanks for the killer review on iTunes, Antparty!
LA's Oil Pollution
https://www.usnews.com/news/cities/articles/2021-06-02/urban-oil-wells-linked-to-asthma-and-other-health-problems-in-los-angeles

IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
44min
August 30, 2021 Surveillance State is Up Our Ass and Is Sublime the Best Band of the 90s?
Sublime was the best band of the 90s
Malice in the Palace: a re-examination of Metta World Peace, Dog Whistling Media, and terrible fans
McDonald’s Hot Coffee Lawsuits
The toxic mantra "customer is always right"
Taliban Biometric knock list
Smart toilets will track your every movement
The Time the FBI wire tapped Sameer's Family
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
48min
August 23, 2021 Who Among Us is Worthy of Getting Abducted by Communist Aliens? Taliban in Space
The origins of the Mujahideen and the Taliban, the Minor Threat of Islam
Sameer’s 23 year old cat
Biden is the bravest modern leader we’ve had for admitting defeat
Empires crumble like relationships.
No such thing as a clean break up.
Don’t expect closure
Hoping for a mellower Post-Punk Taliban this time around
We also discuss Judas Goats, UFOs AKA UAPs
Old Testament Nephilim, apocalyptic communism AKA Posadism , Supreme Clothing and Amazon Department Stores
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
46min
August 17, 2021 Travel like the CIA, do LSD for mental fitness, read about old-timey crime
La Ley De Mordaza, Puerto Rico’s Gag Law
LSD for mental fitness
Do you eat your chocolate with cheese?
Traveling the world like a CIA agent
Mosquito bloodbath on Culebra Puerto Rico
True Crime Book Club
Edward Bunker’s No Beast So Fierce
Jack Black’s You Can’t Win
Never Forget the Boomer Democrats waged war on Rock and Roll
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
45min
August 10, 2021 Duct Taped Passenger on a One-Way Flight to Woodstock 99
Celebrities Don’t Bathe, Tough Mudders, Stinky People, Woodstock 99, Rap Rock, Water Wars, Korn and Limp Bizkit are Boybands, Pre-Internet Pop-Culture Treasure Troves, Barefoot people on Penn Station, Free Tibet Concert 98, Paul Bremer and the Occupation of Iraq, Duct Taped Frontier Airlines Passengers, New Jobs for Air Marshals

IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
48min
August 03, 2021 Tourism Rules!!! Sex pests on the Darjeeling Limited and eating bugs in Teotihuacan
We discuss the ephemeral nature of empire. Gabe is still on a Silence of the Lambs kick.
Mexico City gets an endorsement as the most Blade Runner City in North America. Sameer auditions with the board of tourism and cultural affairs in India, giving the country a glowing 5 star review and many travel tips.
We visit Gorakhpur and Kushinagar, the birthplace of the Buddha.
For some reason Married with Children comes up as the anti-Cosby show.
Shout outs to Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege

...more
48min
July 29, 2021 Radicalize the Soccer Moms and Thank Bin Laden for Bespoke Weed?!?
We talk about Covid scares in public schools, parents should be the vanguard, the Heist on Netflix, growing up in a city versus a suburb, unsustainable sprawl, Not Just Bikes youtube channel, Amsterdam, affairs are actually good for the marriage and families, and the Olympics is still happening, contaminating and militarizing a community near you! The butterfly effect of the 911 attack on the quality of weed in the United States and a shout out to Action Bronson.
Gabe Pacheco, a Chicano comedian with a background in education
and
Sameer Naseem, an Indian American comedian and marketing maven
Two products of the Global South talking trash and centering ourselves at the heart of culture and empire here in lovely Brooklyn.
And just like the Wu, we it do for the children
IG: @gabepac1
IG: @sameermon
Music by Sareen @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Not Just Bikes
Contact: [email protected]
...more
53min
July 23, 2021 Libertad! Stuck in a Classroom with Infectious American Optimism and the Windows Painted Shut
Teaching unvaccinated elementary school kids, apologizing on Twitter, unbreakable Comanche and Mapuche Nations, antibiotic resistant Russian pneumonia, Dunning Kruger Effect, Monkey Pox, Toxic Positivity, American Destructive Optimism, Mike Davis' Set the Night on Fire: LA in the Sixties, Gusanos vs the New Left, Alpha 66, Pastel Activism, Libya, Pink Washing, Covid Variants
Gabe Pacheco IG: @gabepac1 Twitter: @gabe_pacheco
Sameer Naseem IG: @sameermon Twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
...more
40min

FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.