Halal Cartels

By Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels

Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire.

hosted by

Gabe Pacheco

Sameer Naseem,

And just like the Wu, we do it for the children

IG: ... more

· Society & Culture

4.8

5151 ratings

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FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.

Halal Cartels episodes:

January 11, 2022 90 Day Fiancé in the Amazon, Wet Nurse Johnny Rockets, and the Soft Power of Ethnic Cuisines
Breast Milk Immunity, Humans are taking one for the Animal Kingdom but taking all the Bullshit Jobs, Bringing back the Wet Nurses, The Americans, Ethnic Cuisine as soft power influence, unsustainable growth as we spread the dream US-style development abroad, 90 Day Fiance in the Amazon, Gigli's grassroots marketing campaign, the cops tasered a man and he spontaneously combusted, the schools are still open during the surge, support the rank and file teacher's union members
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
1h 2min
January 07, 2022 Terrorizing Timeshare Salemen for Treats and the Democrats Hate Public School Teachers
New York’s New Clown Mayor, NFT’s, Montessori School Sociopaths, Terrorizing Timeshare Salesmen, The Democrats are at war with the Teachers in the Pandemic
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
54min
December 31, 2021 Xmas is a cursed holiday, regressing around your family, near-death experiences, sleep paralysis, The Beach, Don’t Look Up, and More!
Last Episode of the Year! Thanks for listening
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
51min
December 18, 2021 Sameer had healthy twins! Meditations on Milk, Modern-Day Slavery, FBI Wiretaps, and Throat Goats
Sameer had twins, FBI wire-tapping Muslim teenagers, celebrity nannies, Nancy Reagan is the throat goat, Crazy Horse milk-kinship, The US Navy is Pearl Harboring Oahu with jet fuel in the water supply, the dangerous history of drinking cow's milk, modern day slavery in Georgia and more!
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
57min
December 03, 2021 Shotcallers in the newborn nursery and the Opium Wars
Sameer is about to become a dad. This episode is recorded hours before the delivery. We talk about disappearing twins, womb wars, and being the alpha in the nursery. We also talk about community policing, how the suburbs are financially parasitic appendages of the cities, Yellow Jackets, and the Opium Wars in China.
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
50min
November 18, 2021 Selling Guns and Cocaine to Fund Death Squads to Stop Kids from Learning to Read: US vs Nicaragua
Why won't Kratom sponsor us? The CIA hates literate peasants. Who armed Iran and Iraq during their war? Recent Nicaragua history. Should kids be professional actors? Sameer is still having twins.
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
48min
November 11, 2021 Went to Boston for the McLobster Roll and binged Narcos Mexico Abolish the DEA
McLobster Rolls vs McRibs, Boston America’s crown jewel, Chinatown Gambling culture. Go analogue with your media. The downside of streaming. Travis Scott Death Cult, Narcos is back in Netflix, DEA are the worst. El Chapo and Sean Penn, All's fair in the Drug War, Private satellite traffic jams, Somalians space pirates, Universal V*xzeeen Passports
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
59min
November 03, 2021 Phallic Magic Mushroom Tips and the Times Square Scientology Temple
Regular-ass flu in the time of Covid
The Last Ship on Hulu
Means testing is the road to fascism
The History of Penis Envy Magic Mushrooms
Confessions of an elementary school flasher
Scientology temple time
Sameer's alien update
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
51min
October 19, 2021 Missionaries love being kidnapped, Colin Powell’s Ghost, Gay Bollywood Chicago
White Chicago vs Brown Chicago
Gabe’s adventures in the Windy City, checking out art, and going to Desi drag shows and doing shows at the Lincoln Lodge
Help Kidnapped Missionaries in Haiti get to heaven
Colin Powell is Dead
Planned Obsolescence
Halloween is Haram

...more
57min
October 12, 2021 Villains of Mt Rushmore, East Village Nerdcore Rap, and Prosthetic Vaginas
Sameer and Gabe discuss early Youtube, tag jacking, thirst trapping, the toxic effects of social media on the psyche of comedians, the East Village comedy scene of the early aughts, first gigs, sexual harassment training, and Mt. Rushmore.

IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
53min

FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 106 episodes available.