Halal Cartels

By Halal Cartels

Halal Cartels

Global hot takes from a couple local brown guys living in the center of a sundowning empire.

hosted by

Gabe Pacheco

Sameer Naseem,

And just like the Wu, we do it for the children

IG: ... more

· Society & Culture

4.8

5151 ratings

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FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 102 episodes available.

Halal Cartels episodes:

December 03, 2021 Shotcallers in the newborn nursery and the Opium Wars
Sameer is about to become a dad. This episode is recorded hours before the delivery. We talk about disappearing twins, womb wars, and being the alpha in the nursery. We also talk about community policing, how the suburbs are financially parasitic appendages of the cities, Yellow Jackets, and the Opium Wars in China.
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
50min
November 18, 2021 Selling Guns and Cocaine to Fund Death Squads to Stop Kids from Learning to Read: US vs Nicaragua
Why won't Kratom sponsor us? The CIA hates literate peasants. Who armed Iran and Iraq during their war? Recent Nicaragua history. Should kids be professional actors? Sameer is still having twins.
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
48min
November 11, 2021 Went to Boston for the McLobster Roll and binged Narcos Mexico Abolish the DEA
McLobster Rolls vs McRibs, Boston America’s crown jewel, Chinatown Gambling culture. Go analogue with your media. The downside of streaming. Travis Scott Death Cult, Narcos is back in Netflix, DEA are the worst. El Chapo and Sean Penn, All's fair in the Drug War, Private satellite traffic jams, Somalians space pirates, Universal V*xzeeen Passports
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
59min
November 03, 2021 Phallic Magic Mushroom Tips and the Times Square Scientology Temple
Regular-ass flu in the time of Covid
The Last Ship on Hulu
Means testing is the road to fascism
The History of Penis Envy Magic Mushrooms
Confessions of an elementary school flasher
Scientology temple time
Sameer's alien update
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
51min
October 19, 2021 Missionaries love being kidnapped, Colin Powell’s Ghost, Gay Bollywood Chicago
White Chicago vs Brown Chicago
Gabe’s adventures in the Windy City, checking out art, and going to Desi drag shows and doing shows at the Lincoln Lodge
Help Kidnapped Missionaries in Haiti get to heaven
Colin Powell is Dead
Planned Obsolescence
Halloween is Haram

...more
57min
October 12, 2021 Villains of Mt Rushmore, East Village Nerdcore Rap, and Prosthetic Vaginas
Sameer and Gabe discuss early Youtube, tag jacking, thirst trapping, the toxic effects of social media on the psyche of comedians, the East Village comedy scene of the early aughts, first gigs, sexual harassment training, and Mt. Rushmore.

IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
53min
October 06, 2021 Haunted Houses, Medellin Covid Tests, New Age Crystals are the New Blood Diamonds
Medellin steaks and motorcycles
Australian Lockdown
Crocodile Dundee
Silicon Valley is full of the best people!
October Spooky season
Friday the 13th the novelization
Slave ghosts
Haunted Houses
Crystals are mined by child slaves
And ruining the environment
Mommy Blogs
Jaws is copaganda
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher
...more
55min
September 23, 2021 Carnivorous caterpillars, cowboys, and luau pigs on the nude beaches of Hawaii
New London junkie tour guides
Indian wedding physical trainers
Hawaii tourism during the pandemic
Jason Bourne
Open source avccine recipes
Micro climates
Invasive species
Paniolo Culture
History of Cowboys
Haitians on the border
Tarot Reader and Artist IG @metamarcy
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
56min
September 08, 2021 We Built this Empire on a Superfund Black Site and it's Haunted by Candyman
A very soggy episode filled with apocalyptic hurricane flooding in New York and New Orleans. We shower praise on beavers because they are the perfect animal. Los Angeles is soaked in spilled oil. We review the New Candyman. We discuss the history of gore in horror and it's connections to American politics, from Vietnam, to Abu Ghraib, to Ferguson and the BLM movement. Shout outs to Tom Savini, George Romero, Wes Craven, and Tobe Hooper. And thanks for the killer review on iTunes, Antparty!
LA's Oil Pollution
https://www.usnews.com/news/cities/articles/2021-06-02/urban-oil-wells-linked-to-asthma-and-other-health-problems-in-los-angeles

IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
44min
August 30, 2021 Surveillance State is Up Our Ass and Is Sublime the Best Band of the 90s?
Sublime was the best band of the 90s
Malice in the Palace: a re-examination of Metta World Peace, Dog Whistling Media, and terrible fans
McDonald’s Hot Coffee Lawsuits
The toxic mantra "customer is always right"
Taliban Biometric knock list
Smart toilets will track your every movement
The Time the FBI wire tapped Sameer's Family
IG: @gabepac1 twitter: @gabe_pacheco
IG: @sameermon twitter: @sameermon
Contact: [email protected]
Twitter @halalcartels
MUSIC by SAREEN IG: @Sareenpatel @brownprivilege
Art by @elizabitcrusher

...more
48min

FAQs about Halal Cartels:

How many episodes does Halal Cartels have?

The podcast currently has 102 episodes available.