Have a Cup of Johanny

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How much of who you are did you actually choose?

In this episode, I explore the quiet but powerful ways identity is inherited long before it’s examined. From family roles and cultural expectations to survival patterns formed in childhood, we unpack how many of us are living inside identities that were assigned to us, not consciously chosen.

This conversation weaves together psychology, personal growth, and ancestral influence, asking a deeper question: Are you defending who you are… or who you had to become?

We’ll talk about the difference between survival identity and growth identity, why changing can feel like betrayal, and how awareness is the first step toward choosing yourself on purpose.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re outgrowing the version of you that once kept you safe, this episode is for you.

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

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In this follow-up to my episode on the dangers of attaching our identity to political figures and rigid ideologies, I explore the other side of the conversation: the healthy, intentional way identity can transform our lives.

Drawing from Atomic Habits and other habit-building frameworks, this episode breaks down how aligning your identity with your values, not with personalities, can create lasting behavioral change. When you shift from “I’m trying to” to “I am someone who,” habits stop feeling forced and start feeling aligned.

We’ll talk about the difference between external identity attachment and internal identity formation, why one takes your agency and the other restores it, and how choosing who you’re becoming can stabilize your life, especially if you grew up in chaos or survival mode.

This is not about perfection. It’s about alignment.

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

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A single question I saw online stopped me in my tracks: Why do people defend certain public figures so fiercely, even when evidence suggests they may not be acting in their best interest?

This episode isn’t about politics or parties. It’s about what happens when beliefs, values, or admiration become fused with identity. When criticism of an external figure feels personal. When disagreement feels like an attack. And when curiosity shuts down in favor of defensiveness.

Drawing from psychology, real-life experiences, and a year full of personal challenges, I explore how identity attachment shows up not just in politics, but in celebrity culture, social media, and even our creative lives. I also reflect on moments when I caught myself focusing on what was going wrong — and how being gently reminded of what was going right helped me loosen my grip.

This episode is an invitation to step back, widen the lens, and ask ourselves a harder question: Who are we without the things we cling to for certainty?

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

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Guilt is sneaky. It disguises itself as responsibility, love, duty, and “being a good person.” But for years, guilt ran my life—and I didn’t even realize it. From the guilt of my childhood to mom guilt, military guilt, and creative guilt, I carried weight that was never mine to begin with.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about the emotional and generational guilt that shaped me, the guilt that almost kept me from writing The Ordinary Bruja, and the moment I realized guilt is not guidance—it’s fear wearing a mask.

I share the lessons that helped me release guilt in motherhood, military life, and creativity, and how letting go of that weight finally allowed me to stand in my own voice again. You’ll also hear how guilt shows up in The Ordinary Bruja, how Salvador weaponizes it, and how Marisol breaks free from an inheritance of emotional burden.

The Ordinary Bruja is officially out now! If you’re ready for a story about identity, magic, and releasing what no longer serves you, order your copy here:

haveacupofjohanny.com

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

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I’ve spent most of my life believing that control equals safety. The Army taught me that structure keeps everything running, and for years, I carried that same mindset into my creative life. Every project, every book launch, every to-do list—I ran it like a mission.

But lately, I’ve been learning that control isn’t the same as clarity. It’s fear disguised as discipline.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about how my need to control everything—from preorder campaigns and tech glitches to printing delays—nearly stole the joy out of creating The Ordinary Bruja. You’ll hear how a weekend of website chaos, Canva crashes, and printer meltdowns forced me to loosen my grip, surrender the outcome, and remember that sometimes the detour is the divine plan.

Lessons you’ll take from this episode:

• How “discipline” can secretly become anxiety in disguise.
• Why loosening control invites collaboration, creativity, and unexpected blessings.
• How Salvador’s obsession with control mirrors what happens when we force life to obey our timelines.

Because when you loosen your grip, you make space for magic—and that’s when everything begins to flow.

The Ordinary Bruja is officially out now! Dive into Marisol’s story of identity, power, and self-trust here:

haveacupofjohanny.com

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Send a text

Perfectionism loves to lie to us—it says, “If it’s flawless, you’ll finally be safe from criticism.” But the truth is, perfectionism doesn’t protect you—it prevents you.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share what letting go of perfectionism has taught me as a writer, soldier, and creative woman. From the late-night rewrites that nearly drained the joy out of The Ordinary Bruja to learning that my worth isn’t measured by polish, this conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt trapped by their own standards.

You’ll also hear about my favorite chipped mug—a reminder that imperfection is where the beauty really lives. Inspired by The Parable of the Chipped Mug, this story helped me see that what’s cracked can still carry warmth, purpose, and love.

✨ The Ordinary Bruja is officially out now! It’s a story about identity, belief, and self-trust—a reminder that you don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.

Order your copy today and step into Marisol’s world of Dominican magic and self-discovery:

👉 haveacupofjohanny.com

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Send a text

Some days, self-doubt doesn’t shout—it whispers. It sounds like “You should be further along by now.” It looks like scrolling through someone else’s success and wondering why you’re not there yet.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about how easily I fall into the comparison trap—especially as an indie author juggling a military career, family life, and creative dreams. I talk about the “should haves,” the guilt that comes with them, and how I’ve learned to bring myself back to reality.

You’ll hear how shifting from shame to curiosity, and from self-criticism to self-compassion, helps me grow instead of spiraling because we can admire someone else’s path without abandoning our own.

Be reminded that your timeline is valid and your magic is unique and preorder The Ordinary Bruja, a story for anyone learning to trust their own rhythm:

👉 haveacupofjohanny.com

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Send a text

This weekend, self-doubt tried to take the wheel. While creating all the preorder goodies for The Ordinary Bruja, I caught myself thinking, “My creativity only goes as far as writing.”

My husband’s quick, “No, it doesn’t,” stopped me. He was right. I’ve taught myself Canva, Photoshop, Affinity Publisher, podcast editing, marketing copy—so much more than I gave myself credit for.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share how focusing on what I lacked gave self-doubt power and how shifting to what I’ve already done helped me reclaim it. From DIY book design to learning when to ask for help, this is a love letter to every creative who’s ever second-guessed themselves.

✨ Preorder The Ordinary Bruja and get exclusive extras: a signed deleted scene, character cards, bookmarks, and a manifestation card.

👉 haveacupofjohanny.com

📧 [email protected]

📱 TikTok: @acupofjo_hanny | @thebookbruja

📸 Instagram: @haveacupofjohanny

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Send a text

When I first found out I was pregnant, fear was the loudest emotion I felt. Not because I didn’t want my baby, but because I was terrified I’d mess it all up. Growing up in an unconventional household, raised by my grandmother after my parents’ divorce, I had no blueprint for what a “normal” family looked like. I doubted everything about myself as a soon-to-be single mom.

So I did what I always do when I’m scared: I went to the library. 📚 I read every parenting book Fayetteville, NC had on its shelves. I thought knowledge alone could erase my fear. But it wasn’t until almost a year later—after losing my grandmother and learning to trust myself—that I realized I wasn’t behind because of how I was raised. I was ahead because of it.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share how self-doubt shaped my early years of motherhood, how my grandmother’s love became my guide, and how fear can sometimes be proof that you care deeply about getting it right.

✨ Preorder my debut novel, The Ordinary Bruja—a story about finding strength in self-doubt and learning to trust your own magic: haveacupofjohanny.com

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Send a text

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about one of the hardest lessons I learned as a new writer: how self-doubt shaped the way I received my very first feedback.

Like many new writers, I just wanted people to love me and love my project. But instead of pausing and filtering through the feedback, I took it all to heart. I changed everything. And in the process, I lost the story I wanted to tell—and almost lost my voice as a writer altogether.

Here’s what this experience taught me:

✨ Why confidence is key when receiving feedback.

✨ How to pause before reacting so feedback becomes a tool, not a takeover.

✨ Why self-doubt can derail your creative process if you don’t learn how to stand in your truth.

These lessons echo deeply in my debut novel, The Ordinary Bruja, where Marisol must also confront the voices of doubt and learn to trust herself.

📚 Preorder The Ordinary Bruja today: haveacupofjohanny.com

📧 Email me: [email protected]

📱 TikTok: @acupofjo_hanny | @thebookbruja

📸 Instagram: @haveacupofjohanny

🎶 Intermission Music License: SES7ZN8UVCXMTFFL

Support the show

If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself then orderThe Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

🎙️ Subscribe.
📺 Follow on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2SRDePbyy8M85Wbf25VUCg
📚The Ordinary Bruja. https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.