Having It A.L.L.

How do you feel about affirmations: Do you do them? Do you feel they can be effective? Do you believe they are bogus?

Affirmations can be a tool to help you on your growth journey. But a tool is only as effective as the user's knowledge and wisdom.

In this episode I'm talking about affirmations and positive self talk, and giving you my perspective as a self-diagnosed pragmatist. 

I've tried my hand at affirmations many times, and have had mixed feelings and experiences. I do believe in the power of planting new thought seeds, however, and so I've stuck with affirmations and found methods for making them "work" to create the experience in life I'm seeking.

In this episode I share my method for making affirmations and positive self talk work for you. 

Notes:

• Louise Hay Affirmation Calendar

Do you feel like the only way to get what you want in life is by doing MORE?

I held this belief for a LONG time, and the result was that I absolutely got more….more stress, more worry, more tension in my shoulders, more anxiety looking at my bank account, more feelings that I wasn’t doing enough, more frustration, more fights with my partner. 

In today’s episode I am giving you permission to do LESS, and I’m telling you exactly why doing less is actually the key to more peace, presence and joy in your life.  

Want to get in touch?

If you have some episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast, you want to share something from your life or just ask me a general question, best way to do it is by emailing me at [email protected] or by DMing me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.

What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

How does this play out in your relationship and how you feel about your own sex and intimacy both before and after kids?

In today's episode I'm bringing you a raw and honest conversation that Sarah and I had about sex and intimacy. Sex is on all of our minds, but how often are you able to listen in to an empowering, healthy and mature discussion on the topic?

This conversation took a lot of turns that we didn’t expect, and we share a lot of our own personal experiences in healing our relationship to ourselves as individuals and then as a couple. Our desire is that someone listening can take something from our examples and use it to create magical and pleasurable experiences that they are so worthy of!

Where are you lacking in patience right now? In what area of your life would your experience be greatly improved if you could just be patient?

For me, it's a lot of things! In the past I did not consider myself a very patient person. When things weren't happening on my timeline, I would brood over it constantly. Internally I would complain, feel like a victim to time, and just not handle it well.

That's changed today, as I now consider myself a very patient person (I think fatherhood has honed that for me).

Yet, there are still things that come up where I find myself fighting against divine time and my ego.

In today's conversation I'm sharing with you a concept "infinite patience yields immediate results" and I'm passing along some stories to help you connect with your most patient self. It's in there, trust me! And when you connect with your infinite patience, you'll feel like you have it all.

Links from the episode:

Does your ego run the show?

If you answered anything other than "Yes, at times", then today's episode for you!

In our conversation today I'm digging into humility and talking about why a healthy practice of humbling yourself regularly is a necessary ingredient to any significant change or growth you're seeking.

The more you think you don't need this conversation, the more you want to open your ears (close your mouth) and just receive the message.

All of the things you're playing for in life might just rest in you cultivating humility and keeping your ego in check.

Have you ever found yourself up late at night, scrolling through social media, feeling worse and worse with every thumb flick, but unable to break away?

That my friend is known as "doomscrolling" and it's robbing you of your happiness, peace and mental health. 

Doomscrolling is when you find yourself deep into an internet or social media hole, looking at posts and stories that leave you feeling anxious, depressed, hopeless, angry, disheartened, but you just cannot seem to break away. Doomscrolling has been going up since the pandemic and racial tensions of 2020, and as a result mental health and emotional health has taken a huge hit.

In today's episode I talk about Doomscrolling, break down why we do it, and give you some expert advice on how you can break the cycle and reclaim your health!

Struggling with Doomscrolling? I can help you. Email me at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens. My programs are designed to help you break bad habits, form new healthy ones, and reclaim your happiness!

How self aware are you?

That's a loaded question, huh!

Abraham Maslow once said "what is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself". I believe that self awareness is a foundational skill that can unlock your abundant loving life, and without it you're destined to stay frustrated, scared, anxious and stuck.

I certainly don't want that for you!

In today's episode I'm sharing with you 4 real examples from my life where I've succeeded and struggled with self awareness. These simple examples will help you see how I'm actively working on being more self aware each day, and you'll learn tips for improving your self awareness as well.

Do you want to take it to the next level?

Get in touch with me if you're tired of letting your inner critic run the show. If you don't want to constantly compare yourself to others, if you don't want to feel anxious all the time, if you want to feel unstuck and get your life moving in the right direction, I can help. I've walked many people through this process and I can help you as well. Email me at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens. 

How is the state of your relationship? How about your partnership?

I never used to look at the two as separate. The "relationship" included everything -- the romance, the intimacy, the day-to-day life dynamics, the household management.

But for me, as my primary relationship has matured and as new things like marriage and kids have entered the picture, I now see that there's a distinction between the relationship (influenced more by the heart) and the partnership (influenced more by the mind).

In today's special episode I invite my amazing wife Sarah in on this conversation, and together we talk about the difference between relationship and partnership, how ours has evolved over the years, and how we navigate breakdowns in each area.

If you want to reach out, share your thoughts, offer episode suggestions, or anything else, you can reach me at [email protected] or on Instagram @matthew_bivens.

What does surrender mean to you, and how practiced are you at it?

I took my GameDay recently and was offered up a supreme opportunity for some surrender!

(If you're not sure what a GameDay is, I explain it in the episode)

The ability for me to surrender is at the center of my self mastery journey. It finds it's way into my relationships, my health, my fitness, my self talk, the visions for my life, and everything else. 

I've spent years working on my ability to surrender. I've gone from being very concerned, attached, closed off and rigid, to much more surrendered, loving, open and flow. I love the growth I've made, and I'm constantly humbled by the fact that there is no destination. this never stops. I will always be presented with opportunities to surrender. It's humbling, and frustrating at times as well!!!

In today's episode I'm giving you a real peek behind the curtains at how I'm working on surrender, humility and self mastery, and how all three showed up in my GameDay. I bring you into my thought process, emotions, relating and ultimately responses to this huge opportunity that I created for surrender. 

Do you know what it means to be intentional with sexual intimacy?

Intention means something done for a purpose. 

Sexual intimacy is a deep, pure connection with yourself and/or another person, where sexual energy is exchanged. 

Put them together and what you have is a recipe for massive healing, growth and personal transformation. 

So, how intentional are you with sex?

Sex is a thing that requires zero maturity or acquired knowledge to participate in, yet can be extraordinary risk from both a physical and emotional standpoint.

In today's episode I'm talking about the practice of setting intentions for your sexual intimacy, and how it can transform not only your experience of the sex you're about to engage in, but also what happens after the sex is complete.