When pain hits you, do you lean into it or run from it?

I used to be the person that ran from pain. Any type of pain, from physical to emotional, I wanted nothing to do with it!

And it made perfect sense to me: pain did not feel good, and so why would I want to experience something that didn't feel good?

Today I have an entirely different perspective towards PAIN. In fact, I embrace and love pain today, and doing so has been a critical step in my personal growth and healing journey.

Tune in as I give you a new way to look at PAIN and show you why leaning into pain will free you from your fears. 

Links:

• Fight Club Chemical Burn Scene

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If you were to assess how your presence impacts the world, would you be the type of person that adds, subtracts, multiplies or divides?

That's the topic I'm exploring in today's Having It A.L.L. Moment!

Each one of us, at all times, is doing one of those things. But how aware are you of the impact you're having? And is the impact you're having the one that you desire?

Today you'll be asked to think about your sign and the impact you're having in the world. 

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Do you feel you lack consistency in some important areas?

One of the biggest challenges that people share with me is their lack of consistency. Sometimes it sounds like "I never follow through", or "I lack dedication", or "I don't have perseverance when times get tough". All of those shortcomings live under the umbrella of consistency, and it's a real challenge that robs the joyful life experience for so many.

It did for me for many years. For most of my life I would never consider myself consistent, not in the areas that mattered most anyway. I could always find examples where I started something and stopped, where I wanted to do something and got all excited for a short period of time, then inevitably fell off. It seemed to happen again and again.

But there were two moments in my life that taught me some powerful lessons in consistency, that changed everything for me.

In today's episode I talk about what I've learned about my own lack of consistency and what those two examples taught me that has transformed me into the consistent, dependable, trust-worthy person I am today.

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Do you have a tendency to take things personally?

Be honest with yourself.

In the book The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz has this amazing description of taking things personally, he calls it "eating emotional garbage".

"You eat all their emotional garbage, and now it becomes your garbage".

In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I remind you to not take things personally and help create a different context around the garbage others try and feed you. 

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How are you breathing right now?

You take over 20,000 breaths per day, but how many of those are you aware of and present to?

Breathing is one of the most powerful habits that is so overlooked and under-appreciated.

In today's episode I'm taking it back to basics and am teaching you a very simple breathing technique that you can use to get you back to your center, equalize your mind/body/spirit, and simply ground yourself. 

Links:

• Sarah's episode on breathing "Breathe Damnit!"

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When did we buy into this idea that we have to be proficient and skilled at all things at all times?

I know for me, as I started working on myself more and more, whenever I'd read about some new technique or practice that I could envision myself doing, I would add that to my "Must get great at" list and then I'd be hard on myself for not doing it consistently.

Gratitude journaling, meditating, clean eating, you name it -- at some point I held the belief that if I wasn't really good at them all (and consistent 100% of the time) then I was a lazy failure who obviously didn't really love themselves.

What is that all about?!?

In today's episode I share with you how I kicked that way of thinking, and I give you a different way to approach gaining new life skills.  

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When was the last time you made a mistake in a relationship? Did you clean it up??

In relationships it's hard to admit when you've did something wrong or made a mistake or just stepped out of line with your character. I've had a tough time in the past admitting to and owning my relationship missteps, and I've had plenty of instances where I powerfully owned them and plenty when I did not.

In the instances that I DID clean it up, it always felt so much better afterwards! I felt lighter, felt like I could move forward (move on), felt more excited and energized. Even when the conversation didn't go well.

Cleaning it up is important because there's a big impact when something is off in a a relationship that's important to you. Those missteps and tensions weigh heavily on us emotionally, mentally and physically. It's a weight and drain when you have messy relationships. Not just relationships with others, but with your self too.

Cleaning it up is a way to acknowledge what you did or where you messed up, own it, do what you need to to make amends, so that you can move on! 

In today's episode I share examples of how I apply the "clean it up" idea to relationships (both with others and myself), and I show you how you can take full responsibility in relationships so that you can create more powerful connections. 

Episode link:

www.matthewbivens.com/clean-it-up/

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Do you approach your life more with a sense of Play or Work?

One of these perspectives creates joy and sustainability, the other will wear you out. Which do you think is which?

In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I talk to you about the Play Perspective and invite you to imagine how different areas of your life would look and feel if you approached them from the space of Play.

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On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability fall asleep? How about the quality of your sleep?

If you're like many folks, sleep does not come easily. The act of getting to sleep can be frustrating and can have you thinking that you need sleeping aids, drugs or a whole host of other things to help you fall asleep and stay asleep.

I struggled with sleep for many years, and I turned to a number of things to help me out. But the one thing I didn't try until many years later, was investigating the ways in which I had taught myself to be a poor sleeper. That idea of conditioning myself for bad sleep didn't even cross my mind.

In today's episode I'm going to share with you what has helped me become one of those people who falls asleep instantly and wakes up feeling rested and energized! I believe it's totally possible for you to change both your relationship to sleep and the quality of sleep you're getting.

Episode link:

https://www.matthewbivens.com/get-better-sleep/

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Have you seen the film Life Of Pi?

If you. haven't, put it on your list because not only is it a film with an incredibly powerful story and the visual chops to go with it, the movie delivers some invaluable lessons about life.

I watched the film this week for the first time and was inspired by the themes of faith, surrender, trust, and gratitude that were peppered through the movie.

But even more humbling than that was the lesson the main character learns about how God and the Universe answers our requests.

In today's Having It A.L.L. Moment I break down a central theme from the movie and relate it to your life in a way that will have you thinking differently about challenges and adversity.

If you have thoughts, questions or feedback from this episode, share it with me at [email protected] or on Instagram @matthew_bivens

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