Having It A.L.L.

In today's episode I'm sharing tips on how to focus your life to achieve results.

In this episode I'm sharing with you a few common examples of when the universe places people or things in our path that are there to help us, and yet we refuse the help.

For me, asking for help has been a challenge since I was young. I don't really know when I started to feel like I needed to take care of things on my own, but that belief follows me to this day.

I'll say "no" to an offer of assistance, even when I want it or when it would make my life easier. I'll refrain from sharing a challenge I'm having and instead keep it inside and struggle with it on my own. And I'll create stories in my mind that people don't want to give me help, or that I'm being needy or a ton of other crazy things.

Similarly, I'm not great at delegating, which impacts my work and which I believe is a consequence of my issues with receiving help. 

I've become more aware of my hangups around asking for help, and have started being more intentional about accepting the gifts of help when the universe presents them. 

In today's episode I'm sharing an example of consistency that I experience in my life every week.

His name is Robert Monroe and he has been on this podcast before. In the episode titled "“You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances", Robert shares his inspiring story and message about moving through life's circumstances.

This past week I received a lesson in consistency and was inspired by just how consistent Robert had been over the past 12 months in being intentional about transforming his health. 

I leave with you some very simple tips about creating more consistency in your life that will help you build momentum and have it all.

Show notes:

• Check out my earlier conversation with Robert - “You Have To Move Your Feet”: A Story About Seeing the Beauty in All of Life’s Circumstances

In today's episode I'm breaking down Tim Ferriss's most recent TED talk titled "Why you should define your fears instead of your goals". In this TED talk, Tim shares a simple exercise he calls "Fear Setting" which helps him break out of the paralyzing grips of fear, and focus on what he can control in situations. 

In the episode I share a personal example of using this Fear Setting Exercise to weigh the costs and benefits of a fearful situation in my life. 

I highly recommend watching Tim's TED talk, which you can see here: https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=tedspread

In this episode I'm breaking down the Be-Do-Have paradigm from the book Beyond Body Beyond Mind by Dr. Sukhi Muker. 

Two friends introduced me to this book, and I'm extremely grateful they did, because in it Dr. Muker helps me finally grasp my mind around a concept that has been eluding me for some time -- what it means to BE something.

You've probably heard someone say something along the lines of "All you have to do is BE it. Don't try to do anything. Just BE."

Well if you haven't, I sure have and each time I'm left feeling stumped and frustrated.

Stumped because I'm someone with a very grounded, step-by-step mind. I strive to understand the steps behind the exercises I jump into, whether they be physical or like in this case, mental.

I was frustrated because I had heard so many times this idea of BEing. It comes up in books I read, podcasts I listen to, conversations I have in my community. 

Everyone else seemed to be grasping it, but I was completely in the dark.

So when I picked up Beyond Body Beyond Mind and there were very clear instructions on how to BE, I was extremely excited!

In this episode I jump into the book and share the passages that resonated so powerfully with me. I also take the text a step further and share my examples how you can Be-Do-Have in your life. 

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In today's episode I'm talking about self love, but not in the way you're probably used to. Self love conversations are ubiquitous these days. Everyone's talking about. But beyond "positive self affirmations" and "choosing healthy foods" do we really know what self love means? Do we understand what the essence of self love is and how certain activities that we do, many times without thinking, are undermining all of the surface level self love work we put so much effort into?

In this episode I'm going to give you a completely new way to look at self love. It's not another thing for you to do, but a lens through which to look at all of your self love activities. 

This was a fun episode for me because I recorded the entire thing while I was walking to the movies. Sarah was out of town with the car for the weekend, and when I wanted to go catch a movie it meant I was walking. During my walk I was observing how taking myself to movies was an act of self love, and the idea for this episode was born.

Once you listen, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback on the episode. You can email me directly at [email protected], or use the contact form on my website www.MatthewBivens.com.

And for those people interested in learning more about my podcast services, you can find out more at www.MatthewBivens.com/PODCAST. If you have any questions please reach out using the info above.

In this episode I'm exploring Delayed Gratification, and how it's linked to success. I discuss the famous Stanford Marshmallow Study, describe my relationship with delayed gratification in key areas of my life (relationships, business, gardening), and reveal why I think we have been looking at delayed gratification in the wrong way.

In today's episode I'm sharing with you my tried and tested process for being more productive and feeling more fulfilled, by working smarter and not harder.

I have been somewhat obsessed with productivity and work efficiency ever since graduating college. Once I jumped into the working world and realized that I could easily eat up 12 hours of my day on menial tasks and still not feel like I had really done anything, I got to work developing a better system for myself.

I read articles and books, watched people's "life hack" tips, tried anything that seemed like it might work for me.

Many things did not work, but a few did.

Years later, I'm now in a new place in my life where being efficient and producing a lot in a short period of time is extremely important. I'm a new father to an 8 month old baby girl, I run multiple businesses from home, and I produce 2 podcasts. All of this happens from my house.

On top of that, I frequently have solo daddy-baby time while Sarah is out training clients. So my windows of free time are slim.

But that hasn't stopped me from taking on new and bigger projects, it has only encouraged me to hone a productivity system that worked for me.

In this episode I'm sharing with you the system that Sarah and I currently are using to maximize our productivity in our lives. This system is very similar to the one used by John Lee Dumas -- the host and creator of Entrepreneur On Fire, and a guy who is known to publish 7 podcasts a week while running his EOFire empire (which is pretty darn large). He does all of this with a very small tea working less than 4 hours a day. 

John was an early guest on this podcast, and even though we talked about productivity then, I didn't realize that our strategies to maximize our output were similar.

So check out the episode and I hope you walk away from it with some actionable tips you can put to use right away to regain time, feel more productive, and truly Have It A.L.L..

Notes from this episode:

Today's episode is a rebroadcast of an amazing conversation I had with Heather Gray. The original podcast episode is titled "Learning How to Choose Happiness and Create The Life You Want".

There’s a fundamental belief that separates the people who feel like they have it all from the people who don’t, and that’s the belief that you have the power to CHOOSE.

It’s all about CHOICE. That’s the difference maker.

People who feel in their heart and soul that they have it all, have made a conscious choice to feel that way. They’ve literally decided that they can have it all in life, and subsequent choices aligned with the core belief.

My guest today is a powerful example and evangelist of that belief!

Heather Gray’s business name says it all: Choose To Have It All. Sounds sort of familiar, huh?

Heather is an executive coach, working with entrepreneurs and business leaders who have achieved that EXTERNAL success - you know, the great career, fat bank account, titles behind their name, but that success has come at the expense of their internal well being. What Heather does is she helps them have the lifestyle and wealth that they want, but also the personal fulfillment that they truly desire.

If you’ve read Stephen Covey’s landmark book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, then you may remember that Habit #1 is “Be Proactive”, and that the essence of that habit (the major takeaway) is CHOICE. Proactive people are aware of their ability to choose: choose their response to circumstances, choose their relationship to themselves, others and life, and choose their level of joy and peace in life.

That’s the recurring theme in my conversation with Heather.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Powerful quotes

You have to choose your own happy!

Notes from this episode: