Speed and coathangers. Those "fambly valyoooz MAGATS" sure know how to do the whole WWJD thing. Arkanstan and Missouristan sprint to the head of the creepy class. Howard Nutlick forgets about dead military members, even as the MAGATS cheat a grieving military widow out of her benefits. AgSec Brookie Rollins is just sure those prices are gonna come down any day. MAGAT farmers learn their hard lessons.  

As we approach three full months of a world without Moscow Mitch McConnell, questions continue to raise themselves (Mitch damned sure can't). Hey, MAGATS! Get you Cankles Caligula $1 coins now. $25 dollars worth will only set you back $61. Pastor Brother Mullah Moses Mike Johnson fails in a publicity stunt about the entirely illegitimate SCOTUS. Sean Duffy is big mad at . . . the start button on cars? Wut?

Honest to goodness, this version of Nuclear Apocalypse Fear is worse than anything in the Cold War. And it's horrifyingly real. RFKJr gets busted for making up AI studies to support abstinence-only. Will these stupid ideas never go away? MAGAT ranchers thrilled to get to butcher their own cattle . . . and make people sick. 

Morans everywhere! Cankles Caligula sends the Pentagon scrambling after his dementia convinces him (and, of course, Natalie) that he attacked Khard Island. SCOTUS lets him keep building his ballroom. Laws? They don't need no stinkin' laws! Sammy Bad Breath Alito is as crooked as a dog's hind leg and it's all in print. A tale of two ICE abductions. 

Take a breath and enjoy the weekend. 

But first, Friday! ICE still torturing, Nero still Nit-witting, MAGATS still-preying-on-the-dead.

I hate it when the MAGAT Media crowns a new boogie-man: Haaaaaaaasan CHOP Piker. Who tf does he think he is, Kemal atta-Dweeb?

I can still remember chatting with his uncle at a DC bar, We were both there on the same nickel. He was as interesting as a gently stewed stalk of celery.

Apparently, it's a family trait.

This Reaper 2nd Class is a real screw-up, This time, the order was "Take the octogenarian war criminal." Swing-and-a-miss on that, too. He's never gonna earn his sickle at this rate. And then, in the land of the living, there's Ricky Schroeder. What a monumental ASS. 

Do we really believe the Head Spook went to Mother Russia to warn his Spook Counterpart not to invade a NATO country? How does that make any sense? 

Cankles Caligula goes on (another) renaming binge. Over in THE Buckeye State, Amy Acton's gone MAGA-Lite while a hundred thousand Ohioans have lost healthcare thanks the MAGATs. 

Grim Reaper goes Oh-for-2 on getting the right 80 y/o. RIP, Tim Curry. What a talent! And oh, that baritone! 

Lest we forget, the ICE goons are still out there, violating the law, trashing the Constitution, abducting and tormenting ordinary people minding their own business. 

Their must be an accounting and a reckoning. 

Heart. Broken. Too, also: a certain fury.

Now Dolly lives in every memory of her. 

An Epstein bombshell exploded over the weekend. I've been waiting for the shockwaves. In a just world, Todd Blanche and JoJo Blondi would be getting measured for their prison togs. 

Hakeem Jefferies (presumably unintentionally) shone a ginormous spotlight on the basic incestuous problem in high level politics. In what world is the Dem Minority Leader swanning around with a vulgar, fascist pustule like Jared Kushner a good idea? Who told him it would be? 

No surprise, but guess what! The MAGATS torment animals. And RFK is a literal quack.